| | Swinging i don't get it!Page 1 of 27 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27) | How can you say you love your husband or wife , but yet beable to share your love making with other people? When you really and truley love one person you don't want someone else touching them in that way. I'am lost on this i just don't get it! | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 4/18/2008 1:00:03 PM | Because some people like to watch their loved one being pleasured from a different perspective, and that their love is so deep that they could have enjoyable sex with other people without emotional attachment. And if you dont buy that, I was just really drunk.... | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 4/18/2008 1:05:03 PM | | When you are in love you shoulden't even want any one else . Sex and all! | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 4/18/2008 1:08:29 PM | | I love wine and drink it every day......I crave whisky every so often though. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 4/18/2008 1:09:36 PM | | Different strokes for different folks. I don't get it, either. If you aren't interested, don't do it. If that's what other consenting adults want to do, it's their business. If a friend of mine was asking for advice, I would have to say that I've known a lot of people who have tried such things but I've never known anyone who stayed together for very long who engaged in such things. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 4/18/2008 1:14:25 PM |
When you are in love you shoulden't even want any one else . Sex and all!
So when you're in love you somehow become not human? It's natural human desire to fantasize about someone else you find attractive even if you're in love. Being in love means you don't act on those fantasies and they remain that, just a fantasy. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 4/18/2008 1:16:13 PM | Because some people like to watch their loved one being pleasured from a different perspective, and that their love is so deep that they could have enjoyable sex with other people without emotional attachment. And if you dont buy that, I was just really drunk....
**********
PRetty funny JS | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 4/18/2008 1:27:39 PM | | Sex and love are not interconnected for everyone. Sex is sex and love is love. My relationship is in no way threatened because of mine or my partners relationship with someone eles. Honestly, I don't see why people get bent out of shape because their partner is attracted to (or they are attracted to) someone else. So, you don't get swingers or polyamorous people and I don't really get monogomous people. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 4/18/2008 1:33:35 PM | | I'm still trying to figure out how the OP gets sex = love. But oh well I'll go back to my deviant polyamorous life and enjoy every minute of it. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 4/18/2008 1:50:23 PM |
When you really and truley love one person you don't want someone else touching them in that way.
Why not? (That is not a rhetorical question, I'm genuinely curious.) | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 4/18/2008 1:51:48 PM | I wouldn't be able to handle the thought or sight of someone else with my girl. Just me though, eh, to each his/her own.
Kevin | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 4/18/2008 2:17:44 PM |
It's natural human desire to fantasize about someone else you find attractive even if you're in love.
And it seems to be a natural human desire to want variety too. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 4/18/2008 2:34:46 PM | o/p -your preaching to the choir:
i wouldn't be sharing my "one and only" with anyone else  | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 4/18/2008 2:52:05 PM | And it seems to be a natural human desire to want variety too.
Apparently some are like that... one is enough for me. I have stars in my eyes :)
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 4/18/2008 2:56:45 PM |
When you really and truley love one person you don't want someone else touching them in that way.
This statement is flawed. It would be correct if it said: "When I really and truly love one person I don't want someonce else touching them in that way."
If a friend of mine was asking for advice, I would have to say that I've known a lot of people who have tried such things but I've never known anyone who stayed together for very long who engaged in such things.
I read this kind of statement whenever a "swinger" type thread appears. Am I the only one who doesn't know ANYONE, much less a lot of people, who participate in such things?
Actually, I probably do, but just don't know it. Could be a co-worker, or a neighbour, or the store clerk I chatted with today, or my mechanic, or my veterinarian, or the investment lady, or the insurance guy ... they could be happy as clams with their partner, or miserable and doomed to break up eventually. Sort of everyone else, including total monogamists. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 4/18/2008 3:37:12 PM | | I wouldn't want my wife to have sex with another men. But if a man's wife has sex with another man and the husband is okay with it, then I don't see anything wrong with that. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 4/18/2008 3:59:50 PM | | I actually know several people who have been in swinger, poly, or open relationships that have been together for many years and others who didnt make it, same as in any type of relationship. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 4/18/2008 4:52:14 PM | | To each his own I guess. And love and sex don't necessarily have anything to do with each other. | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 4/18/2008 6:18:05 PM | | Anyone who does not live this lifestyle - does not have to get it and why worry about what others do!?!? What you choose in your life is personal to you and what swingers choose is personal to them! The world is made up of many different ideals and practices - let it be! I for one would NEVER share my husband with another - I love him way too much for that! However I do not condem those who choose to do so! | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 4/18/2008 7:47:16 PM | | Personally, I believe it is either part of your make-up or not. I believe people are born gay, lesbian or bi...... AND... monogamous or polygamous by nature. I don't understand the attraction to someone of the same gender... how can I truly understand it, I have never experienced it? BUT..... I understand that is what works for some.... it is just not for me. Soooooooo.... how is being monogamous or polygamous any different? | |
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 4/18/2008 7:59:18 PM | I thought the same. A friend (male) tried to explain this concept to me. It's not about having emotions/feelings (i.e. love) in the mix for the other person you are swinging with - it's merely enjoying the sexual activity with someone other than your partner. Basically, you are giving each other the "green light" to have sex with more than one person (your partner) versus having them cheat/you do not know about it/you would not be involved.
People who are into this lifestyle do love their spouse/partner, but have a GREAT appreciation/enjoyment of sex/sexual acts/activities, etc..........they are typically very secure with their partner (or so I was told - not that I know this personally! lol). Although this lifestyle may test their love and relationship.
You are your partner have to be in full agreement about swinging and the repercussions it may have.
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| Swinging i don't get it!
Posted: 4/18/2008 8:03:15 PM | I am glad to say I don't know, and hopefully, will never know, since I have never been married.
Peoples definition of "love" is the same as a small, mentally deficient child with a .44 Magnum handgun.
Since there are no rules other than the ones Humans make, there you go, that is your answer. It doesn't mean it is right or wrong, only that they view the way they do and at least a few are happy, since so many do it.
I don't dig it, and never will. I consider having to go outside a relationship to get satisfaction (even with her in tow, or her idea) as me no longer being able to provide the satisfaction needed and required.
Either I get better at it, or expand my game/skills and they like it, or they are not what I needed to begin with. In a sense, we are not a "match" sexually because they are obviously NOT looking for what I can provide.
Fantasies are nice, but people, if you ain't any damned good at the basics, what the hell makes you think doing fantasies won't turn out the same way?
If you constantly reach for something else (want), you are never any good at what you already have, because you never spent any time or energy on what you already got. | |
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