| Would you wait on somone?
Posted: 4/19/2008 9:36:25 AM | Hello everyone on the GA forum! I have a story to tell and I would like some insight please!!!
If you meet someone about 2 years ago and you felt inside this was what you were always looking for but, after dating this person they came to you and said “ I need more time for this is too soon after my divorce! But, don’t give up on me!”
But, I did give up on this person and 1 ½ years later he came back! It was like the time passed never happen then after 3 mo of seeing this person. He became overwhelmed, with issues ( family) and work that he pushed me away. He will reach out but, only to tell me 3 more weeks is needed. I know there is much more info that is needed for you all to understand but, in short….. Would you wait and see or would you not? Are men not as understanding as women and or can’t handle or know how to balance all good and bad things in life?
Should we wait on someone that is worth waiting on ( the pain of waiting) or should we live during that time and when he comes back only give a little of yourself until you know this will not happen again? So confused my heart tells me one thing but, the mind tells me another. Should I just ignore the history that is there and give up?
What would all of you do?
Giggles | |
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| Would you wait on somone?
Posted: 4/19/2008 10:25:43 AM | | Id never wait on anyone who needs time. They need time because there either still in love with someone else. Or there still looking for others. My opinion is that the guy you are talking about is just using you for sex. Or if you havnt had sex with him, thats what he is only wanting. JMO | |
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| Would you wait on somone?
Posted: 4/19/2008 11:25:31 AM | Unlike what some people would think Giggles, it feels like your walking on a tightrope! It all involves your heart Lady and you know him better than some people here. You would know if all he wanted was "sex". If his issues will be gone in 3 weeks and the possibility of a future relationship is paramount in "you" heart, why not wait it out. If you choose to "sorta" look around while you wait, you may find someone better, who knows. The relationship game is such a toughie, yet I take stock in your ability to feel things out and ask opinions. Like most here, mine is just one of them.
Respectfully,
~Sneaks | |
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| Would you wait on somone?
Posted: 4/19/2008 12:24:49 PM | Anvilghost,
Thank you for your input! However, if anyone was just looking out for a bootie call then correct me if I'm wrong.............. No ONE would invest time for dinners, movies, plays, concerts and so on for just a bootie call! Nor would you and the other person spend the night together for just a bootie call???
That is too much time, effert, money and feelings to wasit on a bootie call if you ask me! and I think the people of the forum would agree!! Once again I could be wrong but, I feel I'm right on this subject?? ANY THOUGHTS PEOPLE OF THE FORUM????
A bootie call is just a one night stand with no feelings, no idea of becoming a realationship!! and it is very short lived! This on the other hand has been going for some time and I will not tell all of the story for that personal. Please understand!
I like to ask questions and get all thoughts back we are all hear to learn from one another!!
Giggles | |
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| Would you wait on somone?
Posted: 4/19/2008 12:33:23 PM | My Dearest respectfull Sneaky!!!
You know about this subject more then anyone! I thank you from the bottom of my heart and I have agree with you!! If anyone feels that time is warranted then they should wait and see!! Life is a tightrope with you are dealing with single people that have kids and "EX".. Life needs a balance but, some can't do that task very well!
You and I have talked untell we are blue in the face on this subject.. However, I have him pegged to a tee and you this but, at the same time I toggle between the idea of my heart and mind. I want to wait but, I know life is too short and I need to live! I'm giving the time that is needed for this person and at the same time I'm also going to live! let the dice fall where they may......... we will talk more later on this.....
I came to the forum to gather imformation to help but, you and I know what I will do... However, this was for me to vent and to get it off of my chest but also at the same time I hope I can also help others on this forum if they come across the same thing..
Hugs honey....
muahhh
Giggles | |
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| Would you wait on somone?
Posted: 4/19/2008 3:04:21 PM |
Thank you for your input! However, if anyone was just looking out for a bootie call then correct me if I'm wrong.............. No ONE would invest time for dinners, movies, plays, concerts and so on for just a bootie call! Nor would you and the other person spend the night together for just a bootie call???
Right you are M'lady, no one would do all that for just a bootie call.
But they would if there just wanting to be friends with benefits. I might be wrong, it might just be something else. Im just giving my opinion on what I think is going on. I wouldnt wait for him if I were you | |
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| Would you wait on somone?
Posted: 4/19/2008 4:34:30 PM | | I am waiting on someone right now; he needs more time and I respect this. I am dating this guy, but we are not physical involved to any great extent. And no, I disagree with some of the postings here..just because someone needs time does not mean that they are keeping options open or having someone on the side. | |
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| Would you wait on somone?
Posted: 4/19/2008 5:25:32 PM | | I really do not know what to tell you honey on this one,all i can tell you is that i once dated a man an he needed some time since it was only 6 months since his wife passed, our relationship was going strong , i felt neglected, i could not understand,he wanted to continue seeing me but not let his family members know, so i lucked out. let me tell you i never in my life till this day ever met a man as good to me as he was,but we live and learn, i sometimes think of him, | |
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| Would you wait on somone?
Posted: 4/19/2008 5:30:35 PM | Snorkland,
^5 to ya girl!!! I do believe it is all about timming, understanding and faith!! As long as the lines of commucation are open then all will be okay! That is the key keeping the line open even though it is hard when you can't have them 100% at this time.
Will keep you in my prayers that all will work out for you!
Thanks for your input.
Giggles | |
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| Would you wait on somone?
Posted: 4/19/2008 5:32:32 PM | Anvilghost,
That is what the forum for.... you give your advice for some it is wonderful and for other not but, it is all of us reaching out and asking for advice!
Giggles | |
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| Would you wait on somone?
Posted: 4/19/2008 7:57:47 PM | Latinlady,
Thank you for your insight! It saddens my heart to hear you go through that but, your correct we do live and learn! My mamma told me once it is better have loved and to be loved then to have never gone though it!
We do learn with each day but, it also makes us a bigger and stronger person! People come into our life for a reason and we may never know why but, they do and in short we learn from it! In the end if it all does not work out I will have learned one thing.... What is feels like to have your heart skip a beat! Most of all we all have issues in our life and timming is everything!
But, it takes a bigger person to have come to you and tell you... "this is not right and they need time" then for a person to just walk away and not tell you why!
Giggles
Giggles | |
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| Would you wait on somone?
Posted: 4/19/2008 8:49:40 PM | Giggles.. .I didn't read ALL the posts on here, I simply HAD to respond when I saw your response on the booty call issue.
I have had men use me for sex who invested all of the above. I had a man who took me shopping took me out every weekend, the whole nine yards...anything I wanted he handed it to me...
All for SEX.
Now, three weeks isn't much to wait... but don't count your chickens before they hatch.
Look around, continue to date... if things are meant to be, they will happen.
However, he doesn't sound like a good one.
Trust me... I had plenty of history and love in my heart for my first love... we broke up three and a half years ago and he STILL calls me trying to get me back, or trying to get me to wait until he gets his life straightened out.
It's simply NOT worth it to yourself to put possibilities on hold for someone who is inconsiderate enough to ask you to wait.
A man who cares will MAKE things work. It sounds to me like he's got someone else he's trying to get rid of. In which case, would make you a rebound...AGAIN. | |
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| Would you wait on somone?
Posted: 4/19/2008 9:53:20 PM | loves2giggle
5 right back at you girlie  I have found out that my man, who works away, was back in town and did not come visit me, nor did he telly me. I am still waiting to hear back on what his reasoning will be for this. I will wait and see and give him the benefit of the doubt, however it sounds rather errie to me. He went to see his friends and was only in town for the night and then had to leave for work again. What bothers me most is that I found out from a friend that he was here and not even from himself. I do not understand. One of my friends said, from a guys point of view mabye he did not want to reach you because he was only available for a short time and would have wanted to see you longer. If he would have wanted to see me longer 'wouldn't seeing me for a brief period be better than not at all'. He sent me a text message letting me know that he was out of town, now why would he not reach me when in town?
I have been 'making excuses' as to why he has neglected to see me. I even justified him not contacting me by saying that it could have been because it was late and he did not want to wake me up (he was in town at 12:30a and gone in the mid-morning sometime), although he already knows that it is fine to do so and I even told him I would want him to wake me up so that I could see him. The thing that is so puzziling to me, is that he saw his friends and this makes me feel like I am less important to him. I know he has known his friends longer, but still, if you care about the person you are with wether or not more time is needed...it makes sense to me to let them know that you care by 'action' instead of nothing . Still, I have to wait and see what he has to say about why he did not contact me...it's a long stretch to believe this, but it is possible that there is a valid reason as to why he did not reach me. Perhaps, he is afraid of love...he is not that experienced in dating? Still, afraid and avoiding me completely--even if afraid, why afraid to let me know he cares??--I guess I want to be wrong, that he does have a good reason, but what my heart says is likely not the truth.
On this softer duller note...I still believe that people who need time are not always needing time for making a decision as to what they want. I take longer than the average person to progress into different stages of the relationship and if things were going fast for me then I would say that I needed more time. I would want my partner to care enough to respect this.
--Blessings...dido, will pray for you too sweetie  | |
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| Would you wait on somone?
Posted: 4/19/2008 10:02:07 PM | loves2giggle=I tried to email you on ur account but it did not work...I would like to hear the whole story, the missing pieces of your pressing issue...if you do not feel comfortable sharing it here...hopefully you will be with me and I can then offer better advice...advice on her is often helpful, but often we leave out important parts that may change a way a person would response...email me if you would like to share more :)
And do not do what others tell you, make up your own mind--remember we only hear your side of the story and as much as you want to disclose right ;)
Take Care.
God Bless.. | |
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| Would you wait on somone?
Posted: 4/20/2008 8:59:35 AM | Snorkland,
Yes, we tend to make excuses for them! But, at the same time we are women and we think in a different plan then men do. Maybe he wanted to be just with the "GUYS" for he needed to be with the boys. but, men tent to forget "The Guys" can't give them love! And at the time he was not thinking that he wanted to be with "The Guys"
Talk to him, tell him your thoughts be open to him and ask! The key is to have open commucation with him but, also too as I have learned they also lack in that department. We can teach them only if they are willing to learn and accept it.
Like myself the heart can lead you in the wrong direction but, let your heart and mind work together. We are often afraid to reach out and ask to get our questions answered but, at the same time when asking never point a finger nor make them feel they are under the spot light. For they will head for the hills!
I have sent you an e-mail and we can talk more indepth if you like.
Site back breath and wait.
It will all be okay!
God Bless,
Giggles | |
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| Would you wait on somone?
Posted: 4/20/2008 9:45:24 AM |
On this softer duller note...I still believe that people who need time are not always needing time for making a decision as to what they want. I take longer than the average person to progress into different stages of the relationship and if things were going fast for me then I would say that I needed more time. I would want my partner to care enough to respect this.
If a person needs time, they no that before they even get in a relationship. So if your man really needs time being with you, why did he ever get involve with you in the first place? I think he is playing you. He certainly shows he does not care for you by not letting you know hes in town. If I cared for someone, I wouldnt care if I only seen her for 1 minute on a givin day. Thats better then nothing. And dont ever trust his friends at what they say, you know they will always have his back. Unless there wanting you themselves.
This is why I wouldnt wait on anyone. Why start a relationship when you are scared to even be in one. Makes no since. The only logic in that is you're a player. JMO | |
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| Would you wait on somone?
Posted: 4/20/2008 10:40:13 AM |
The only logic in that is you're a player. JMO
It's just like you Wolfie to throw insults to try and back up your half witted opinion. Since I see no Phd. sitting at the end of your name and basis of your inane comment has very little to back it up other than you wanting to throw your vitriol at whomever you please. You cannot make such a rash judgement based on so little information and yet hat has been your forte throughout all of your usernames. You have no clue what is between those two relationships other than your need to be nasty so you can say something insulting in a thread.
It is my conclusion that it none of you freaking business what those two do. They asked for an opinion based on a possible positive response even if negative towards what they desire. You couldn't do it without being a typical jerk!
The top half of your statement was well wrote actually and a "JMO" at the end would have been a decent post even by you, but "noooooo", you had to be your Wolfie typical self and add in something to reflect why your still single.
JMO and Peace out!!!!
~Sneaks | |
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| Would you wait on somone?
Posted: 4/20/2008 12:53:49 PM | loves2 giggle..actually the people he visited was his female friends...but since I was not getting along with them well before, I think that he would of not wanted to tell me where he was...still, what am I doing? If he cannot be open and honest..why, why, why do I stay? It's in the hope the things will change, get better, yatta yatta...golly I cannot wrap my brain around my logic, it makes no sense. So why then do I not take my own advice?
'I would want my partner to care enough to respect this.'
Wolfie..has pointed something out to me that I did not clue into myself. I knew what I wrote but it did not register in the way it is now, so thanks Wolfie...Sneaks Wolife may not present everything I agree with, but I don't have to agree just listen and take from his advice what I can and he pointed out words that I wrote for me about what I would want and am not getting. So even if you think he is making insults so be it. I do not see what these insults are in response to my post, so it must be for anothers..Also, Wolife...
Playing me mabye and mabye he is just really clueless in what it is he is suppose to do in a relationship.
'If a person needs time, they no that before they even get in a relationship. So if your man really needs time being with you, why did he ever get involve with you in the first place?' He works for extended periods out of town and so he does not have a lot of time and things were going to fast for him. This is what I mean by needs time, needs time to have to spend with me and needs to go slower in the relationship. This is the only part I disagree with in what you say because he has little time and I was ready to move more ahead into the relationship then him, but once he expressed his concerns I back off. Was glad that I did because he was right, we wer jumping into it too fast.
And I am waiting on him because I believe in finding out all the facts before I jump to end result conclusions..
Yes, if afraid to be in one why start one..like this point also Wolfie. I just cannot wrap my head around him being a player, he does not strick me as this type at all. Extremely lacking in his dating skills, but not a player. What is JMO mean?
And I will ask if if he is afraid when he telly's me?
Can people who have not dated much at all really be as dense of this guy? What are people's opinions..because I am starting to feel really dense for putting up with this mis-treatment. | |
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| Would you wait on somone?
Posted: 4/20/2008 1:15:05 PM | What is JMO mean?
It means, "Just My Opinion".
In summation of my comments:
What Wolfie wrote in his first paragraph was very well wrote! He made his point very well in his comments. If the guy your refering to is the man your waiting on, then take a second look at Wolfies first paragraph with an open mind. He may be right. It is all about your gut reaction to what your willing to put up with. Would the gentleman be worth waiting on? Were you in a place to move on and he wasn't? How long are you willing to wait for him to get his mind in gear that your the one he needs in his life?
No one here can answer that question but you......really!
~Sneaks
Note: I wrote the Mod's to have my comments in Post #18 deleted. My apologies to Wolfie....errr...Anvilghost. | |
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| Would you wait on somone?
Posted: 4/20/2008 1:17:16 PM | Snorkland,
Only you my dear know this man! Only you and him have had talks and he pointed out that the 2 of you were moving too fast! Of course you listened to him and you both slowed down! All relationships need to be taken slowly so you can learn each other and grow with one another!
There is always more then one side to the story and we only say our points on what you have told us. We can only give advice on what you have told us but, the question is ..... How long are you willing to wait for this man to get his mind in the right place and to have you in his life? Only you can answer this but, at the same time you can reach out and ask for advice! Nothing wrong with that for people looking in will see things in a different light!
I do that all the time reaching out to the people of the Forum to get advice from all ends for it helps me grow and learn!
Send me an e-mail if you want to talk one on one!
Giggles | |
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| Would you wait on somone?
Posted: 4/20/2008 1:42:58 PM | loves2giggle:
'I think your guy also needs to show you more respect and I think that we are both waiting on an old gooes' tail..lol..us two both need to wake up and smell the coffe. I honestly do not think your situation is good, nor mine.' Did you get this email??
I believe that we both deserve better and hopefully we will both wake up and see this..as busy as your guy is he can also connect with you still.. still, though I believe this I am stuck on waiting to communicate with him in person because then I can see his body reactions to and how genuine or fake they are...over the telly a lot harder to interpret. Sneaks...I am willing to wait awhile, but not forever for him to show that he cares..
--BLESSINGS Jane. | |
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| Would you wait on somone?
Posted: 4/20/2008 1:50:47 PM |
I am willing to wait awhile, but not forever for him to show that he cares..
Smart Lady!!!
~Sneaks | |
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| Would you wait on somone?
Posted: 4/20/2008 4:32:04 PM | Daaaaaaaaaaaang! Where to start,
snorkland, I think you should go out with others while you wait. It wont be cheating since you two are not really together. Who knows you might just find out that hes not really worth waiting on. You just might find love from another that is ready for something serious. Someone who respects you.
I might as well change my name to wolfie. I dont see how some of you see wolfie in Anvilghost.
As for sneaky man, this will be the very last time I respond to you.
Apology NOT, accepted!!!
It would have been accepted if you had realized that in fact you were being the JERK, before snorkland responded to my post and yours. But seeing how it took her post to make you realize you were being the JERK, its not accepted.
This wolfie fellow must have done something really bad to you and some of the others in here for some of you to be soooooooo hateful. JMO | |
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| Would you wait on somone?
Posted: 4/20/2008 6:15:33 PM | | Giggles, There is no certain answer. But I'd say the odds of a happy ending here (for you) are not good. And while you wait for Mr uncertain you could miss out on something good. JMO | |
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