| "One Month to Live"
Posted: 4/19/2008 11:45:07 AM | Somehow I got involved with reading a newish book out called "One Month to Live" in which the authors ask the reader, "...what would you do (different) if your doctor told you that you only had 30 days to live?". And then to develop the book, they found many people diagnosed with terminal diseases and interviewed them to find commonalities.
Of course when we asked each other the question in discussion one night, some friends and I came up with the immediatly obvious response of joking about racking up the credit cards with last minute whims that we'd never need to pay off..........But the authors instead reported in the book that most of the people that they interviewed who heard this news from their physicians actually were then able to feel relief in many ways, and it put only just a few outstanding items into their perspectives for accomplishment with their remaining days.
Here, I wanted to extend the discussion to the Ca Fish. What would you do/feel if you learned you were terminal?
.....and do you think that after thinking about this, you'll do anything different? | |
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| One Month to Live
Posted: 4/19/2008 12:52:38 PM | Wow Mark, good topic. I've been thinking about this topic alot in the last week as a matter of fact. My best friend had to have emergency surgery to have a stint put in her heart and then had a hemographic stroke from the blood thinners that they had to give her during the operation, all in the last two weeks. I found out last night that my Aunt who I love dearly has just been diagonsed with stage 4 liver cancer and will be starting chemo on Monday. Mortality is for sure on my brain right now.
I think for me the most urgent thing I would do would be to make peace with people that I've wronged, and most specifically to try to heal my relationship with my Mom which is just not what it should be. I love her, but we are not comfortable with each other, nor friends. I'd like to change that.
From a more practical stand point I'd get my "house in order" so that my son's don't have to deal with a bunch of sorting through my stuff. I have a tendency to be a packrat and I know that getting rid of stuff, and making sure that I'm not leaving behind a bunch of crap that they have to deal with - emotionally and physically would be something that I need to do. | |
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| One Month to Live
Posted: 4/19/2008 2:00:31 PM | When my aunt was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer NO ONE TOLD HER.
Now, you must understand that this is in Costa Rica, and they told the family first and my aunts uncles and cousins decided not to tell her.
Also understand that pancreatic cancer is nearly always fatal, and within a few months.
She finally asked if she was dying, and they told her ONE WEEK BEFORE SHE DIED!
Since I don't actually live there, I decided not to tell her myself.
There is something so wrong with that, but it seemed like it was out of my hands.
If I was dying, you bet I would want to know IMMEDIATELY!
After the shock and some tears, I would roll up my sleeves clap my hands and say, "I better get busy... I've got a deadline!"
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| One Month to Live
Posted: 4/19/2008 10:19:47 PM | | I'd clean up a few things around the house, the ones I wouldn't want the family to have to deal with/know about; quit my job; and, assuming I don't feel like I'm dying, spend 28 days lolling about in warm blue sea water and eating lobster with pasta before calling it quits. | |
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| One Month to Live
Posted: 4/20/2008 7:46:20 AM | I'd take my son on a 3-week vacation (including Hawaii)... just him and I. I would share my life's story with him (he could care less about it now, but he'd be shocked later!)
I'd spend the last week doing what so many others here talked about... sift through my personal crap as to not leave a mess for my family.
Wow! I hope I'm given more than a month when they tell me! | |
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| One Month to Live
Posted: 4/20/2008 9:45:27 AM | The harsh reality is not everyone gets advance notice. We are all going to leave this planet through the same door. No escape. Since we don't know when that will be, it makes sense to get the house in order NOW. I have out off doing these things for years, but now that I am single, the sense of responsibility to have my house in order seems much more pressing.
Last year I bought a $100,000 life insurance policy on myself--sufficient to pay off all of my bills, throw me a big send-off party and leave some for my kids. I feel good that I have it there so that someone else does not have to bear the burden of my final expenses.
I also just bought a PrePaidLegal plan ($26.95 per month) that gives me a free will and access to quality legal counsel I may need at a greatly reduced price. I will have my will completed in a few days. Again, it gives me peace of mind to know that this is done.
One word of advice: do not put your funeral wishes in your will. Often the will is not read until AFTER the funeral. Put your final wishes in a separate document and give it to a trusted realative or friend.
Next I am gathering up photos and other memorabilia and getting them in order for my daughters and granddaughters. What good are family photos if no one knows who that person is in the photo? Is it cousin Bob or Frank? I am getting my Mom to do the same thing. Small things that can make life much easier for your family when you are gone.
If I only had 30 days to live, I would spend that time telling everyone I loved how much they meant to me and I would make sure that my spiritual house was in order.
Eating lobster and pasta is not a bad idea, either! | |
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| One Month to Live
Posted: 4/20/2008 12:06:51 PM | In the last few months, I had a big scare, but after tests and minor 'upgrading', I'm ok.
much went through my mind before I knew the results, it's scary as hell to face our mortality head-on...and prematurely.
back to topic: what would I do?
don't really know.
it's kind of hard to pre-plan my final days. I have a few 'finalities' in place, but that's not the same thing as living my last days NOW. | |
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| One Month to Live
Posted: 4/20/2008 12:08:12 PM | The harsh reality is not everyone gets advance notice.
...and that's a big point of the book Boomer. Thanks for that note.
The trouble is then, that even with 30 days advanced notice, or the more than likely less than 30 days notice (ie: most likely no notice at all), we can easily end up in the case like Christy2Luv pointed out (not to be picking on you Christy! You hit it on the head though!!!!, and I for one can tell you you're NOT alone as at least I fall in that catagory with you too) of needing more than that when it comes (because there will be so much to do.....or let me re-phrase that, ....IS so much to do!).
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| One Month to Live
Posted: 4/20/2008 4:37:34 PM |
not to be picking on you Christy!
Hehe, no worries 04... I wish everyone could pick on me that harshly!  | |
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| One Month to Live
Posted: 4/20/2008 7:19:58 PM | Go see the movie "The Bucket List". That's what it's all about.
When corporate mogul Edward Cole (Jack Nicholson) and mechanic Carter Chambers (Morgan Freeman) wind up in the same hospital room, the two terminally ill men bust out of the cancer ward with a plan to experience life to the fullest before they kick the bucket. In a race against the reaper, the new friends hit the tables in Monte Carlo, down obscene amounts of caviar and tear up the road in supercharged cars. Rob Reiner directs this comic caper.
Everyone should be told that they have 30 days to live. Maybe more people would enjoy their lives a lot more than they do. | |
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| One Month to Live
Posted: 4/20/2008 7:54:52 PM | well that is a wonderful subject...I have been faced with ...I had a Terminal Illness..
and survived to tell about it...you would all be very surprised to know what you really would be thinking or doing....if anyone wants to know more..e-mail me...I am writing a great book all about it...
Hope to hear from you...
Angela | |
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| One Month to Live
Posted: 4/21/2008 12:06:41 AM |
if anyone wants to know more..e-mail me...I am writing a great book all about it...
I would, but your email preferences block smoker.  | |
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| One Month to Live
Posted: 4/23/2008 11:52:13 AM |
What would you do/feel if you learned you were terminal?
.....and do you think that after thinking about this, you'll do anything different?
I would finally catch up on all of those neglected phone calls!
Ya know, the ones to your favorite ___th grade teacher for having an impact on your life?
...Visit distant relatives...
--Give away my stuff!
Attend my own wake... It sounds like it's going to be one hell of a party!< ---from another post...  | |
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| One Month to Live
Posted: 4/29/2008 11:38:17 AM | Not one thing, honestly, because I have long since learned to NEVER take a moment of life for granted. I've lost loved ones in my life at an early age, and my youngest child has had two near death experiences, I've been in 6 car accidents, been hit by a truck and have been shot at... Now, as you may have seen in another thread I posted, I have a friend who has been diagnosed with advanced aggressive cardiomyopathy...
We are all only a moment away from dying at any given time, treasure life and embrace it as though it will be your last day with us. | |
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| One Month to Live
Posted: 4/29/2008 4:15:15 PM | Not sure I would do many things differently...
I would make sure I said goodbye to friends and family, I would pay my remaining debt off to make sure family did not have problems when dealing with the financial assets that I have accumulated. I would make sure I have an iron clad will to distribute my assets to family. I am sure I would be sad and a bit depressed but I think I would continue to live my life to the fullest just as I do now and with honor. Racking up the debt wouldn't be honorable in my book even if I did not have family I would be leaving behind (although it would be tempting I am sure). | |
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| One Month to Live
Posted: 5/1/2008 2:24:45 PM | | One month? I would travel around the world. Start south head to Europe and Asia. I'd end up on a beach with warm sand and a cool ocean breeze. | |
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| One Month to Live
Posted: 5/1/2008 5:16:42 PM | One month is not long enough to do any decent traveling. Not for me. I have seen enough of the world anyhoo. In my last hours I would want to spend time with loved ones and my loved ones cannot all get a month off to do Paraguay with me. I would get in touch with the most important people in my life-friends, family, exes and blow my retirement dough on us. For example, I could rent a condo in Mammoth or Colorado for the month and have everyone come spend time boarding/skiing and spending quality time with moi.
I would do lots of double black diamonds and try a complex jump and have lots of dinner parties.
This way I could enjoy doing my favorite things, with my favorite folks. I would tell everyone that I love how precious they are to me. Lastly, I would hook up with a hottie or two and have as much wild monkey sex as I could. | |
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