| Once More Into The Breech [CLOSED]
Posted: 4/22/2008 1:29:03 PM | Don't call it a comeback, because I never actually left. I was having a bad week and got tired of my own lame humor. When I nuked my profile, I was always intending to come out with a rewrite. I intend to do that every few weeks anyway. Have a look and feel free to take a playful poke at it. Remember the operative word is "playful".
- T | |
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| Once More Into The Breech
Posted: 4/22/2008 1:50:11 PM | Pictures - some are good, some are not so good. The main one is really not good for main, several are too dark. If gamma correction can't fix them, recommend replacement. The one I would use for main? #6, the face shot. Wonderful look for you.
Interests - too few.
About me is very well written prose. Unconventional, so the standard advice doesn't apply, but certainly something that gives a good sense of you for someone who reads it through. I don't know if everyone will bother, but those who are right for you will.
The second half of the profile is a good contact hook as such, but I liked it less than the first. A bit gimmicky.
Again, not a profile for everyone's tastes, and I can't tell if it works or not - but my guess would be that it does work and works well. | |
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| Once More Into The Breech
Posted: 4/22/2008 2:03:41 PM | Number 6? Really?
I don't have the actual PhotoShop. My image software is quite weak, but I'll look into that gamma adjustment thing.
- T | |
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| Once More Into The Breech
Posted: 4/22/2008 2:12:09 PM | I really like #6 - the face shot with your head tilted. But, you might want to see what ladies think - they would be better judges of what look in men is appealing.
For simple image manipulation, I recommend Irfanview. It is one of my favorite programs - not by any means suitable for real photo editing, but for cropping, rotation, resizing, image quality adjustment and similar tasks, it works great. And, it is freeware, downloadable at many software archives online. | |
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| Once More Into The Breech
Posted: 4/22/2008 3:45:38 PM | | Yes, I agree, 6 is the best for the main, it is a very appealing picture. Your current main is a great picture, but not good for thumbnails. I absolutely think that 6 is your best option, it's a great shot. | |
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| Once More Into The Breech
Posted: 4/22/2008 4:01:46 PM | Allright then, number 6 it is. Any others care to comment on the "about me"?
- T | |
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| Once More Into The Breech
Posted: 4/22/2008 5:44:10 PM | I love the profile... everything about it. Creative, witty, unique and interesting. I read the whole thing and wanted more. I think it makes you seem strong and confident without being too full of yourself.
I think the other reviewers are right, this picture is perfect for your main. The only thing I wasn't crazy about are the pictures that are too dark to see anything in.
Good luck to you. | |
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| Once More Into The Breech
Posted: 4/22/2008 5:49:53 PM | | I just wanted to add my agreement with the other posters...the #6 photo was the best :) | |
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| Once More Into The Breech
Posted: 4/22/2008 10:34:41 PM | Sounds like your match -- your date -- would have to be pretty seriously athletic to enjoy the things you enjoy, for instance, to find rock-climbing at REI a fun first date.
It's not that I don't think there are women out there like that; it's just that I, personally, have never met any.
I'm not sure that PoF is the best place to find your female jock. I'd imagine she'd be more likely out...running or rapelling or whatever it is that athletic types do.
So I suppose I'd suggest getting out there and meeting women at marathons, or log-hurling events, or those man-made rock walls that people climb for no apparent reason I can discern. | |
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| Once More Into The Breech
Posted: 4/23/2008 12:20:39 PM |
Sounds like your match -- your date -- would have to be pretty seriously athletic to enjoy the things you enjoy, for instance, to find rock-climbing at REI a fun first date.
It's not that I don't think there are women out there like that; it's just that I, personally, have never met any.
I'm not sure that PoF is the best place to find your female jock. I'd imagine she'd be more likely out...running or rapelling or whatever it is that athletic types do.
So I suppose I'd suggest getting out there and meeting women at marathons, or log-hurling events, or those man-made rock walls that people climb for no apparent reason I can discern. Actually, climbing a 40' rock wall doesn't require a great deal of athleticism. It requires some, but no more than a few pull-ups and a flight of stairs requires. Now, read the whole thing, including the part between the lines and you'll see what punchline was set up by the story. First of all, the story poked fun at me "muscles came with shirt" etc, and wasn't even the only first date scenario offered. Since you focused on that one, I think you actually did get the hidden message.
- T | |
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| Once More Into The Breech
Posted: 4/23/2008 12:56:25 PM | | I haven't seen any of your previous profiles but this one looks rather catchy. Where you went wrong was with the pictures. Lose the cell phone and mirror shots, as well as the really dark shots. This is the age of the digital camera, but not the cellphone camera. Choose the pictures wisely, as they "say a thousand words". I love a good cliche but not that one! I will warn you though that your profile will not suit everyone's needs as it's a tad quirky and instrumental. Mine used to be like that and when I toned it back just a little so as to leave a wealth of humour but on a more subtle scale I got a lot more responses. But then again you are good looking guy in great shape and about to retire. I think you could probably leave your profile blank and still get responses! Good luck to you in your searches, mijo. | |
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| Once More Into The Breech
Posted: 4/23/2008 2:19:14 PM | I just replaced two of the darker pics with two I took the last time I was in NYC.
- T | |
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| Once More Into The Breech
Posted: 4/23/2008 2:26:01 PM | | Looks great! I'd still delete the cell phone/mirror shot though! Those are tacky. You might as well post one of you flexing in the mirror! LOL I'm only joshing here. The NYC pictures are a good touch. They invoke a certain feeling in a person that has ever been to the city. I love NYC. But I just noticed you're a firefighter. Geez, with everything going for you you must be just fighting them off with a stick on here! Share the wealth! | |
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| Are you *still* standing around in your breeches?
Posted: 6/27/2008 8:43:55 AM | Ted;
I like your profile. Always have. Great set of pictures (with some freakin' hilarious captions), and you have even managed to work in an emoticon that doesn't offend - only about the third time I've seen it happen.
There is much good Feng Shui here. As such, my observations are on the level of 'turn this mirror 10 degrees' or 'move that plant five inches to the left" vs. the "tear down this wall as it blocks the flow" or "paint every inner surface blue" sort of advice.
1) Right off the bat, you're talking about how you would have already retired and left town if you hadn't changed jobs, but that you still plan to do so in a relatively short time. What is your prospective woman supposed to do with this information? Are you adamant about it, or open to change? Because to me it says that if you get involved with me, and we really click, then you have to be prepared to move away with me. If that is your message, then it's coming across fine; if not, then you may want to figure out how to change it.
2) Your middle paragraph is filled with short, choppy sentences. Specifically this part at the end:
My small crew of running buddies is helping me avoid cabin fever. I am starting to suspect that they just want me along for backup in barfights and bail money. I'd gladly kick them to the curb to spend some time with a quality companion. If you're that sassy type who's mouth often gets a ruckus started, I'm cool with that. I'll just keep some bail money in the ATM account.
A couple of coordinate (or even subordinate) conjunctions -- or even just some punctiation changes -- could do you a world of good here to make the flow better. Examples:
"cabin fever, but I am"
"bail money, so I'd"
"companion, so if you're"
"cool with that; I'll just"
Obviously you can't take all of these (or you'd have one paragraph-long sentence) but they just serve as examples of what I mean.
3) I present as a gift for you a re-write of your 'compatibility matrix' paragraph for better punch and flow. Hardly changed anything, just shuffled your words up a bit so it 'felt' better. Can't explain it more than that. If you agree, keep; if you don't, drop. I won't be offended either way.
I have decided that the compatibility matrix in this site is quite lame, so here's something I created when I was up way too late one night. These are optional (of course), but just reading it will tell you something about me, and your answers should tell me more about you.
4) I have always loved your first date - how you manage to give two fully-fleshed options that show both sides of your personality and work your sense of charm in there. This last sentence has always confused me, though; "Coffee is even better after you've proved how much better you are at doing pull-ups." Are you still talking to her? Are you comparing her ability to do pull-ups to your ability to do pull-ups, and saying that she's better? (If so, add 'than me' somehwere in there for clarity.) If that is the case, though, I'm missing how will that make coffee better... will it make HER coffee better because she's a superior being? Or yours because you got your ass kicked by an amazing woman? There's good ambiguity that adds mystery... but in this case I think you've got bad ambiguity because for me -- and for the perceptive sort of woman I think you're after -- the lack of clarity is detracting from the humour and casualness.
Like I said, all really small things. I love your quiz, and have sent at least a half-dozen people to your profile to read it. Good luck in your search; if I ever get to Wisconsin, you can bet I'm going to look you up and be *your* wingman! | |
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| Often, yes. Did you mean at this very moment?
Posted: 6/27/2008 11:18:11 AM | Hey Bro, yours is a tough one to find anything wrong with, because it is so unique in itself.
Especially since BR beat me to the punch, he is rather tough to get around more often than not. I had read it three times, didn't see anything that jumped out at me by any means. The fourth time through, I bumped into this:
Other important areas in my life are my fitness, family and friends, though not necessarily in that order.
This is CERTAINLY a nit-pic if I had to read it for the fourth time before I caught it. I am not sure if you "hid" "friends and family" on purpose, if you did you did a fine job.
I am sure you know my point here before I even say it, but since it is my job, I am going to follow through with the explanation. With few exeptions, everyone considers family important, and they wouldn't be your friends if you didn't. Therefore the only thing this sentence tells us is that you are into fitness, and that should be in your "interests" if it is not already. I am of the opinion that it is "acceptable" to cover an "interest" maybe two, for the second time in ones profile, but ONLY if you are able to come up with at very least two solid sentences in their mention. Otherwise it becomes redundent. The way you worded it, I do realize you may have intended it to have a subliminal meaning for her, if that is the case, only you can know.
The last line in your "date" section, I am still not sure I "get". But this of course is, another nit-pic.
I will stop back later, to see if you have any comments.
Best wishes Bro
Jerry | |
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| Often, yes. Did you mean at this very moment?
Posted: 6/27/2008 12:41:29 PM |
Other important areas in my life are my fitness, family and friends, though not necessarily in that order. When I wrote that, I was in a mood to riff on my dysfunctional family and knucklehead friends. What you're picking up on is actually a negative disguised as a positive. If I lose that sentence, then the whole paragraph is lost. That may not be too bad a thing. It's about time to compose another riff or two, probably on entirely different subjects. I've got a couple of things bouncing around this cavernous cranium, so we'll have to see what makes it out through the fingertips.
The last line in the date section was inspired by an exchange earlier in this thread. I'm still kinda fond of it, though I must admit, the target audience hasn't quite picked up on it either. I'll take a shot at composing something different but aimed toward the same target.
- T | |
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| Often, yes. Did you mean at this very moment?
Posted: 6/27/2008 1:01:17 PM |
What you're picking up on is actually a negative disguised as a positive. If I lose that sentence, then the whole paragraph is lost.
Yup, I suspected there was a reason that you did it the way you did. But hey, it was the only thing I could find to pick on! I would have felt like a failure if I didn't find something!
By the way, if you are able to make ME, love an emotocon, your the man!
Best wishes
OFMM | |
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| Often, yes. Did you mean at this very moment?
Posted: 6/27/2008 1:03:23 PM |
What you're picking up on is actually a negative disguised as a positive. If I lose that sentence, then the whole paragraph is lost.
Yup, I suspected there was a reason that you did it the way you did. But hey, it was the only thing I could find to pick on! I would have felt like a failure if I didn't find something!
By the way, if you are able to make ME, love an emotocon, your the man!
Best wishes
OFMM | |
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| Often, yes. Did you mean at this very moment?
Posted: 6/27/2008 1:39:12 PM | Your headline says you're "probably at a festival right now." What kind of festival? Festival of Bratwurst? International Beer Fest? Oz-Fest? Although, if you're at a festival "right now," can you email and IM, too? It remains unclear.
I think you need to take more pics. Feel free to send ones you're considering using to me personally to look over. I know, I don't own an iPod, I don't set my cell ringtone to anything trendy, and I wouldn't be caught dead within ten feet of a fake rock wall, so I'm not your target audience, but humor an old lady. | |
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| Often, yes. Did you mean at this very moment?
Posted: 6/27/2008 2:31:18 PM | Hey... you know what I think of your profile; I love it : )
Great pics., including original and thought~provoking captions. Well rounded interests. The about me section is both serious and humorous. I really liked the mention of your family (HBO late night) and the friends wanting you around for back~up.
Love the lead into the first date; also shows us that you put a lot of thought and creativity in here.
This is a winner because you're a winner : ) | |
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| Often, yes. Did you mean at this very moment?
Posted: 6/27/2008 6:20:44 PM | MissAnnThrope wrote:
Your headline says you're "probably at a festival right now." What kind of festival? Festival of Bratwurst? International Beer Fest? Oz-Fest? Although, if you're at a festival "right now," can you email and IM, too? It remains unclear. I spent the afternoon at Summerfest, AKA "The Big Gig" or "The World's Largest Music Festival".
Yes there is beer , sausage and lots of eye candy. I'm still on injury leave, so all I can do is volunteer at our fundraising tent. Just stopped home before changing gears for the evening. I'll be catching a friend's band at a local pub. Tomorrow, I'll be home alone with my camera on a tripod. Thrope, I need your e-mail addy.
- T | |
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| Often, yes. Did you mean at this very moment?
Posted: 6/27/2008 6:22:50 PM | Scha-WING!!!! You got it.
Fundraising, see, you didn't mention the philanthropic, do-gooder side of yourself. Just working the "bad boy" angle? Don't want us to know you're really a heroic crusader for justice?
Too late. Busted. | |
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