| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/22/2008 7:04:30 PM | I am just wondering if I am the only person this happens to.....
I meet a nice man for dinner, and we have a great time, conversation is awesome, have a lot in common... Then afterwards when he is suppose to be taking me to the next place that was agreed upon between us, he drive into a hotel/motel parking lot, and informs me, HE HAS A ROOM! Wants us to have passionate Sex! I AM LIKE OMG! You got to be kidding me!
I never once said I was into this.... or even mentioned a HOTEL/MOTEL in any conversation, much less the idea that I was going to have sex with him!
This has happen to me like twice... I have went over and over each time, trying to figure out what I said or did, that made any one of these men think I was wanting to have sex with them on the first date... I have even watched what I wear, to make sure its not something that sends the wrong signal to these men... I just dont get this.... The odd thing is, they are not cheap about any of the date, its the best food, the best wine, and the best hotels in town... One even went as far as having flowers delivered to me at the restaurant that we ate at! I was of course flattering! But not enough to give him SEX!
I just have to know, is this only happening to me? Or is it all too common for some?
These two men I went out with was very educated men.... Had great jobs, and very much looked up to in the community of Little Rock.... I just dont understand, if its SEX they want, why dont they just go pay for it... There are women that live for that... I am just not one of them!
Please give me feedback! | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/22/2008 7:11:46 PM | I have never had this happen to me.
I looked at your profile and don't see anything there that might be giving them this impression.
*shrug*
I would write them off as immature men, and just move on | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/22/2008 7:12:26 PM | Just another reason why I always bring my own car...I can't be surprised when I'm driving where I end up...
I have no idea why these men did this, unless they were married and had nothing to lose by trying to close the deal... | |
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stacj
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Joined: 6/27/2007
Msg: 4 | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/22/2008 7:16:41 PM | Just so you will know... The second guy that I was with, that pulled this, was a man that I had known for over a year.... We just never dated... When I did go out on a date, this was the number that he pulled... I told him to take me back to my car, in which he did....
I guess they just want to see how far they can go?
I dont know! All men cant be crazy and this off the wall, can they? | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/22/2008 7:19:20 PM | It's happened to me too. They travel from over 100 miles away to meet me, and since they assume they are going to be drinking during the course of the date, they get themself a hotel room, then meet me where we planned to meet. I do not have them pick me up at my house ... I always have my car with me.
One time, I chose a restaurant to meet at and did not know that there was a motel attached to it (in the back). I had never been there and had it on good word they served exceptional food but not expensive, so I thought that would be a nice place to meet. Also,I heard they had Karaoke in the bar, and he liked that idea as well.
Apparently he discovered the motel there (he arrived about 1/2 hour early) and just went ahead a booked the room. Believe it or not, we had dinner and were finished a little too early for the Karaoke, so he suggested we go back to his room and have a drink while waiting for the Karaoke show to start.
Let's see ... Ummmm ... NO!!!
I didn't want to give up the Karaoke, and didn't want to go to his room with him either, so I suggested a walk. During the walk, I asked if other women went along with such a situation and he admitted that it had happened often. I just stood there shaking my head and rolled my eyes. Really makes you wonder what those women are thinking ... or not thinking? | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/22/2008 7:19:34 PM | You state, "I have went over and over each time, trying to figure out what I said or did, that made any one of these men think I was wanting to have sex with them on the first date..."
I think it could be the fact that you were in their cars on the first dates that could give the impression that you were ready to be sexual with them. Maybe reconsider this in the future. | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/22/2008 7:24:17 PM | It could be you have a sexy quality about you. While guys fantasize about sex all day every day, some women have something about them that makes them more fantastic.
OR
The guys may not date a lot and watch reruns of "Melrose Place", or "Coupling" on BBC.
Short of asking them, you are not going to find out here. Pick the one that makes you feel better and go with that.
I would have gone to the show first. Kidding, kidding. Why waste the time. Ok still kidding. | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/22/2008 7:24:38 PM | | Neither of these men were strangers to me... I just had never "dated" them... I worked with one, and the other I had known for a over a year..... I just never did date them, and they had been asking to go out with me many times.... I just always told them I couldnt.... And when I did, this happen! I NEVER GET IN A CAR WITH A STRANGER! NO WAY! I know better then that! | |
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stacj
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Joined: 6/27/2007
Msg: 11 | |
| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/22/2008 7:33:13 PM | | So you have known them for a long time but never dated them... Now you know why you didnt. Personaly I would not go out with a man I work with (although I dont work with men) but situations like this would make it uncomfortable to work with him now. | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/22/2008 7:38:37 PM | arkansas ...huh? are you sure it wasn't Bill Clinton in disguise? 
in all seriousness...probably not anything to do with you ..just those two guys were sleazy.
Glad you told them "no".
Rose | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/22/2008 7:40:09 PM | you know it never bothered me to see these guys again, outside of the date... I was the one that said NO THANK YOU! and I felt good for that! I knew I could look at myself in the mirror and not feel less then I am.... They were the ones with the issues in my eyes, and I was not shy in saying so...
But I guess after experiencing it twice, I just became curious to what I was doing that made either one of these men to think "I WANTED SEX" with them! or if other women have had the same thing happen to them... | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/22/2008 7:44:53 PM | I did it one time. was second date with the lady, and knew it would be to late for me
to drive back home we were meeting about half way between us 3 and half hours
But with drinking wasn't really wanting to, so I made a reservation
for a double room , told her about it and if she wanted to spend the night to bring her Jammies and we could share the room, or if she wanted to go on home she could
get her own room,
she stayed but she knew in advance and had no problem with it, in fact was thanked because she wasn't wanting to drive home after drinking either anyway I woke up next to her
and had a nice cuddle
 Chris | |
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NERO1
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Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 15 | |
| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/22/2008 7:50:04 PM | | OP it's pretty ballsy on the guy's part really. I think it might be , in a certain sense, perhaps vaguely insulting to you. I mean, as you said why not just go pay for it; get an escort and skip the dinner. The $$ layout would probably wind up being about the same. IMO you're not going to find very many "nice" decent women who are going to be willing to just head on over to a hotel (much less a motel) alone w/a guy they've only just gone out on a date with!! I don't think I'd make that kind of move, IMO.....sorry, just not my style. | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/22/2008 8:02:39 PM | WOW!! No, this has never happened to me or anyone I know. If I may ask - did you go in separate cars or did you drive with him as he decided he was going to have you for "dessert"?
If you did drive with him, DO NOT do this again until you have had a few dates and have a better idea what his intentions are.
Please be careful out there!
Best,
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/22/2008 8:06:54 PM | Obviously these men don't have any class.
I'm reading this post to my 24 year old daughter and a male friend of ours that is 32 and they were too shocked that anyone would behave so poorly.
I'd get out of that stinky pond you are fishing in and move to a new one.
Sorry to hear this has happened to you. | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/22/2008 8:14:45 PM |
I think it could be the fact that you were in their cars on the first dates that could give the impression that you were ready to be sexual with them.
I never heard the "I get in your car, you get in my pants" rule... I'll keep it in mind. Thanks for the heads-up. | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/22/2008 8:21:11 PM | Again, as others have said, have your car with you so that you can escape if necessary. The pick you up at your place is saved only for someone whom you know very well and trust these days. I remember the days when it was always considered "proper" to pick a woman up and take her home and it could go either way. These days, it is quite presumptuous.
It can possibly be that some of these Yayhoos got away with certain behavior before their marriages, and think that dating is the same way, without a thought.  | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/22/2008 8:23:39 PM | Message 19 (janet4ever): I agree that getting into a man's car is NOT an indication that you are giving them a "green light". However, some may ASSume that because it is the first date, you are daring enough to jump in their car/you will readily "jump" their bones.
Sick, but true.............................. | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/22/2008 8:34:44 PM | I totally agree with you, it has happened to me more time than I would like to say, what kind of women are these that think after a great dinner and an outstanding wine that I am just going to slide into some sleazy motel just to satisfy their canal instincts and act out all their perverted fantacys. Well I for one will not tolerate this any longer, we must band together to rid ourselves of these horny maniacs.
Please meet me at the Plaza Hotel, room 1408 for our first meeting and pep rally. | |
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/22/2008 8:38:01 PM | Well princess, I can go you one better. Very early in this internet pond, I met a man for coffee outside in the parking lot. I made the mistake of getting in his car, even though the pricey shop was right there? We drove right next door to Burger King & got take-out coffee. This guy thought I was gonna give him a knobber right there in the mall parking lot!!!! Talk about a creep? I didn't even realize what dangers lurk everywhere. Took my own car from then on. Met a few creepy guys, a slime-ball & then I found my love. Always listen to your gut- if it feels a little strange from the get-go, it probably is. These men always show their hand, if you listen closely.
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| Dinner then a HOTEL? Does this happen a lot?
Posted: 4/22/2008 8:38:25 PM | Think you are dating wrong guys, I have guys that don't want to go on a date, to just come to their house and watch movie (right) "that is great if already dating and close, but come on!!!!, Education, or good jobs does not mean they are worth dating or are good to women---"JUST TELL THEM GET LOST or tell them to find a hooker to pay!!! WEALTH is not a determination of goodness.
You are in charge of YOUR morals and decisions, if you want to go, it is up to you, but men do use women ALL the time, if you want a REAL guy, he will treat you with dinner, flowers and respect and not espect sex in return( unless of course it is what you are looking for, then hey all is fair)-- Basically just because he takes you out and spends money DOES not mean sex---IF HE DOES then-THAT just means he thinks he is PAYING for sex. Which means he thinks you are a prostitute-- Meals do not mean SEX haha. . If he CARES He will take the time to wine and dine you and get to know you. and be back to win your heart.  : | |
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