| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/24/2008 12:59:36 PM | Been chatting to a woman for a few weeks now in the UK.
She dropped a bombshell tonight and told me she has AIDS.
My confidence in dating has now gone completely out of the window.
I am thinking now it is time to give up on sex before I seriously get caught out.
What do others think ? | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/24/2008 1:01:41 PM | | I think she did the right thing. For many reasons. First she did not hide it. Second why should she tell you that upfront? Thats very personal and I do not blame her for waiting till she thought there was some chance before letting you know. So you are not into her enough to deal with everything that comes with her being infected. Move on. Maybe still be her friend if you really liked her. If you were just after som ass well move on. | |
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| She has AIDS and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/24/2008 1:06:48 PM | | Don't have sex with her and you will be fine. Be cautious and very careful in the future and you should be fine. She is going through something horrifying. She could probably use a good friend. | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/24/2008 1:36:55 PM | | Peter what is your prostate condition like? I've had chronic prostatitis and urethritis for many, many years and the doctors have not been able to help much. They tell me I can't pass this on to anyone and so far I think they are right. | |
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| She has AIDS and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/24/2008 1:39:56 PM | At least she told you.
She's probably waiting to see,how you'll handle that bombshell.
Now it's up to you,to see if you're going to live in that world
or bail.
But,that is one hell of a bombshell,to be dropped on any ones head.Jmo. | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/24/2008 1:40:34 PM | Yes, I think you should stop while you are ahead of the game, that way you don't have to risk anything...
However don't expect the rest of us to jump up on the band wagon just yet, because we know that HIV is real, and hepatitis is more real as are all the OTHER nasties that are out there...
We like to protect ourselves.
What I really think, she was up front and honest with you, that is a very great thing. There are plenty of people that don't know their HIV status, OR that they have any other STD's .
Which is worse, going bareback and not knowing someone has something, or knowing someone has something and you haven't touched her... | |
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NERO1
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Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 14 | |
| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/24/2008 1:48:27 PM | | I think, technically at least, HIV +'s have to tell potential partners by law (at least here in the US). If it were me who'd just been told that it would be an instant deal-breaker, as far as a relationship. I'm just too scared of the damn virus. I would remain friendly or whatever but, I couldn't let it go any further than that. | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/24/2008 1:49:23 PM | | I think if she is on POF - - I don't know, I can't believe that she would be happy to see that you posted this - even if nobody knows who she is . . . that was a very personal thing for her to tell you. | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/24/2008 1:52:26 PM | Thank God she told you before you became intimate with her. Personally I would NOT pursue anything but a friendship with her.
On line dating expect to hear anything, or see anything. That's my attitude now. When something "normal" happens I'm actually surprised by it. | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/24/2008 1:55:41 PM | educate educate educate!!!!!
People with HIV and AIDS have enough to worry about in the road ahead of them without having to deal with ignorance as well!!
This woman was up front and honest with you!....If you are compatible with her..If your conversations make you both happy....BE HER FRIEND!! | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/24/2008 1:59:07 PM | | Yea for rain! she gets it! poor op got honesty from someone now he has to start over. Who cars about her being rejected again not only for a relationship but as a friend again because of her disease. Well Op I hope you can survive this slight. | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/24/2008 2:02:01 PM | ^^^^^ but would she want to be his friend?..... she obviously felt close enough and trusted him enough to share very intimate and private details... and now its about him?.. whether he should date or not....
But ...friendship is based on trust and respect of privacy?....
i get this visual of her crying in a corner... as she reads this thread.... scared now to maybe trust or confide in anyone?...(its now been made public. betrayal of trust.... maybe if she tells the next guy he might name her?.. id suggest that would be in her mind.. now )
Surely people know stds exist.. before they contemplate dating?.....
and would be careful of who they have sex with?
isnt that a given?
its not like stds just ARRIVED in the world overnight..
its good she was honest...
I think its a good idea to get tested after every partner... before sleeping with someone else.....
Id be happy to share my results with anyone.. i was contemplating a relationship with.
edit... also if anyone with an immune disorder is interested.. the ediable aloe vera plant has the ability for the immune system to read it.. (sorry cant remember the code)
and is full of vitamins/minerals that will build immune system.. please google it.. you will find getting straight to immune system to build it up.. even in cancer etc.. any disease.. isnt easy.. this plant will help..
smiles/peace | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/24/2008 2:03:16 PM | | There are approximately a million Americans with HIV, according to vital statistics. That's about 1 in every 300 people. This isn't the end of dating, but could be the beginning of protection... | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/24/2008 2:06:40 PM | OP you're complaining about someone who's been honest with you. You can't get 'caught out' by an honest person. There are people in the world with HIV. Should they stop living/relating because of it?
I wouldn't have sex with a person with any kind of STD (that's one reason I don't regard sex as a first step and there are other reasons I stick to too) but I don't think we should go running around like a headless chicken when we happen to come across someone with such a thing. She hasn't lied to you - you can catch it from a long term partner if they've been unfaithful with a carrier.
It's a risk. You're entitled not to take the risk - I know I haven't! | |
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| She has AIDS and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/24/2008 2:15:57 PM | there ARE people with aids who have fallen in love (with a healthy partner) and have taken the necessary precautions. remember there is a difference between HIV + and aids. the latter is the expression of the potential and the most serious for the person with it. many treatments are successful in suppressing this stage.
most often such couples get/are married and deal with it. kind of strange, but at least they know they have found true love, whereas so many others are just farting or floundering around. it is no secret that happy couples have way more healthy immune systems and thus, the increased chances for suppression.
whether you are meeting online or in person, i would be more worried about the people who don't tell you what they have. my feeling is that if you know what you or a partner has, if you are both willing, there is a way. having lymes, i find that most of the people i have met, are in some sort of denial about their own stuff, or purport "NOTHING" . but, in fact, most have way more than i have--aggravated by their denial and subsequently lack of addressing their problems.
as to such things as herpes, some 85 percent of the population carries either oral or genital herpes. so, if your immune system is not so good, they can be fine and you can catch it. the health care delivery system doesn't want to overload itself financially, so it only treats the ones who show blisters. the heck with those who catch it from the others.
so, it puts responsibility onto expression of sexuality. sad, but the feelings of the other person, do not seem to be primary motivators in using and dumping sexual partners. in my day, i fought for the right to CHOSE. i did not fight for the right to USE. i am not saying you should date or be involved with this person. she'll find an authentic partner. i 'm saying do not be naive and tend to control your "own" impulses, until you know "who" you are dating. your new friend is responsible and a rare find to be honest and put you first. i wish her the best and i know she will be successfull. | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/24/2008 2:20:50 PM | She dropped a bombshell tonight and told me she has AIDS. - harrabyman
You would be justifiably upset if she told you this after you fell in love with her, or after having sex. But since you've only been
"chatting", she is to be commended for being up-front & honest. There are specialty sites for people with STD's, but very few
free ones. As long as she is being honest, no harm no foul.
Some people will take the risk, with proper precautions, of course. And since she was
honest with you, you have a choice.
But always remember that the first time with someone, you should either ask them if they have been tested, when they last
had sex (protected or not!), tell them the same information about yourself. If you are not comfortable discussing these things
yet, it may be too soon for sex, in the relationship anyway. Communication is very important!
Ideally, you should use precautions anyway, or go & get tested together, first!
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I have a cousin who is positive & he got married a couple years ago & they were even trying to have a child together- $10,000
per try! Now, that's love 
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BTW, for any guy who is in love with,or considering a relationship with a positive woman, I read about a new study here last
summer, it is HIGHLY advisable for the man to be circumcised (if he is not already). Even using condoms, it apparently greatly
reduces the risk for the man. | |
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| She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/24/2008 2:29:11 PM | Just think. At least she told you. What about all the other people you've met and slept with, who didn't tell you, or who didn't know?
If you want to stop dating, that is your right. But we need sprogs. After all, who is going to grow up and be a hoodie?  | |
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