| from thailand with love
Posted: 4/24/2008 3:51:42 PM | i regularly search for my soulmate from countries in the far east,but have been alarmed how many potential partners later turn out to be male,coloquially referred to as `ladyboys`.
it is incredibly difficult to tell because they look so feminine,and say they are ladies in their profile which if they have had surgery is probably true.
how can i find out relatively quickly but without offence,and also with certainty,after all they have misled in their profile so may do so again to avoid having their account deleted
has anyone experience of a lasting relationship with a ladyboy and at what stage did you find out?
sincere appreciation for any assistance in this extremely akward predicament | |
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| from thailand with love
Posted: 4/24/2008 4:15:48 PM | When you look at their profile, does it say "I'm a XX year old Man looking for a woman" or does it say "I'm an xx year old woman looking for a man" If they are passing themselves off as women, that is deceitful from the get go.
Then again, what if your soulmate happens to BE a ladyboy. It could be possible the other half of your soul could be in one of them.
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| from thailand with love
Posted: 4/24/2008 4:19:47 PM | thankyou for taking the time to reply,yes they state in their profile they are ladies and i have always thought oriental ladies look very attractive.i am really amazed when several months later they reveal they were `by birth male`
i am keen to avoid history repeating itself but without causing offence,cmplicated by the technical issue of whether a post operative `ladyboy` is indeed female | |
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| from thailand with love
Posted: 4/24/2008 4:22:07 PM |
has anyone experience of a lasting relationship with a ladyboy and at what stage did you find out?
This question creeps me out, makes me think you would consider it. Two each their own I guess. | |
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| from thailand with love
Posted: 4/24/2008 4:29:22 PM | thankyou so much for replying,brides from thailand and the far east are very popular with the english of mature years because they come from a strong christian background and always put the family first and divorce is very rare.
they also have excellent homemaking skills and are hard working.but the male and female genders are often hard to tell apart ,and in all candour,you will find at least half potential candidates on dating sites are `ladyboys`because they seek a better life in the west even if deception is necessary
just on a grammatical point,the expression is,`to each ,their own`,but i am not seeking a soulmate from`my own` but the far east,partly because i can easily afford to sponsor a lady and give her a better quality of life and,if she wishes,her family/parents/relatives regardless of cost.i realise that to many on lower incomes this is not possible,but i already have more than enough to retire on
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| from thailand with love
Posted: 4/24/2008 4:38:11 PM | | johnlondownsingle, buy me one, too, when youre over there, would you? | |
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| from thailand with love
Posted: 4/24/2008 5:22:43 PM | My goodness!!!
You are in London, apparently financially secure, and you need to buy a bride from the Far East.....?
There are many women in this country who would love you for who you are, give you children and stay with you "till death thee do part".
The trouble I tend to find with guys like you is that you are led away by stereotypes, of women in London, who spend and get in debt in order to "get the look" but, in all fairness, are full of hot air. They look good in the pictures, but that's about it...
It would be better for you guys to stop judging the ones who "look less" or not so glamorous and try to get to know them. You would find some amazing people. | |
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| from thailand with love
Posted: 4/24/2008 5:35:17 PM | | E-mail and ask if they're ladyboys. They'll tell you. If not, the women won't mind. They'll probably laugh. | |
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| from thailand with love
Posted: 4/24/2008 8:07:47 PM | | I would watch it if I were you -- a lot of bride and green card international scams these days. Even if it is a women you're likely to be sending lots of money without a bride or gf at the other end. Lots of these women also to come over to get married with the full intention of the divorce to follow. They understand divorce law. I have a friend that has had several of his friends taken in by both of the aforementioned. Not a pretty sight. If you marry one better seal it up with a Pre-nup in a state where Pre-nup's are legal ... you can marry in any state and have the right to divorce in the state you were married in. Hope your soulmate ends up speaking english. Good Luck with your endeavor just be very careful ... male or female responder you're likely to get burned ... Try going through the Embassey's to learn more of what you're doing. | |
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| from thailand with love
Posted: 4/24/2008 8:09:23 PM | Opps -- didn't realize you're in London -- better check out the legal system in your venue for protection .
Just a further thought if you know others that have been successful -- why not search through them. Networking through Thailand --- | |
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| from thailand with love
Posted: 4/25/2008 3:54:30 PM | it is true that some thai/oriental brides are motivated by cash,but this is just as true of native english ladies,in fact more so!they arent impressed that you just own your own,if you havent got a swimming pool the...next!
they are also incredibly lazy and hate hard work,some have actually said to me,`im not your slave` when all ive asked for is a coffee.
i really dont want a ladyboy though,for one thing i would want to get married,and also although they look like real ladies i would always feel like i had got second best,especially if i only found out several years later that she was really a man
i would be intererested to hear if others thing i am being to severe or even sexually prejudiced to rule out a ladyboy since they are actually indistinguishable from ladies
although some have mentioned i could ask `can you have children`,i think a lady would be offended for doubting her femininity,a bit like asking a lady your dating,`are you from the island of lesbos` | |
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| from thailand with love
Posted: 4/25/2008 4:04:23 PM | Hi!!
Unfortunately, Cosmopolitan magazine and this image culture we have in this country have a lot to do for how women treat men. But there are still good women out there, they just need to be found...
As for ladyboys and sexual prejudice, hmmmmm, I suppose it depends on your sexual preferences... Do you want a woman who can give you a family, or are you just happy with any kind of sexual activity? I say this because I think being happy sexually is very important in a relationship.
I know that some ladyboys look like women until they take their pants off... they are still males in that part of their bodies... As I said, it depends on your sexual preferences...
For instance, I would never date, nor even marry, a man who wants a threesome from time to time. It's out of my sexual preferences and having it would make me miserable, and not having it would frustrate my partner. The relationship wouldn't go too far.
Still, I'm puzzled by the logic behind this... | |
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| from thailand with love
Posted: 4/25/2008 5:00:09 PM | yes,european ladies are far too picky for me,eg on this site a lady may be 40 but set the limit on those who may message her at 50.so if i cant even contact those who i think i am compatible with its hardly surprising that i ,and those in a similar position look further afield.in other words western ladies only have themselves to blame for what i call `the male gene drain`
in contast,ladies from the far east would say as long as the man has a good heart the age is unimportant,and on another level it shows how caring they are and will be in the future
regarding sexual orientation,i am searching for a far eastern lady rather than a ladyboy but its impossible to know which you have if they are post op.
i have been messaged by others who have the same issue,and am glad it is not just me who has this problem | |
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| from thailand with love
Posted: 4/25/2008 5:11:23 PM | I'll take that comment about european ladies personally, as you are describing my preferences.
But, there is a reason: ideally, I would like to have more children, so I would like to meet a guy who is still "young" enough to have the energy for babies!!!!
I've seen a few profiles of mid 4os men who are attractive to me, but they are either with "all their children over 18", or they don't want any children. Now you explain how that is compatible with a woman with a four year old and who would like more children...
Don't jump to conclusions so quickly next time!
As for the far east ladies, although it's not everyone, it's well documented how many actually are looking to be taken out of a poor society, or to come to the west so they can eventually take their families out of poverty. And those ladies are not going to care how old their potential husband is, as long as they fulfill their desire of being taken away from poverty.
I'm not saying that far east ladies don't love or don't care for their men, but what I'm saying is that they also have other well documented intentions.
Personally, I receive a lot of messages from guys who would love to meet my for "my lovely nature", and they are african without a job... Also, it's known that Asian/islamic people see white women as a "prize" (this is documented too), and I get messages from 22 year old asian guys saying that they can see themselves with me having a great relationship. Excuse me?
At the end of the day, it's your life and future and I'm not to judge for it. Basically you will do what you find good for you. It's a shame that you think that "buying" a bride from the far east it's the only way to get a caring wife.
But, for the love of peace, stop judging, first, the women in this side of the world for being western, second, those of us who have preferences because, as I have proven, we might actually have some reasons for them. | |
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| from thailand with love
Posted: 4/25/2008 6:03:00 PM | I saw a television documentary in London (UK) a few months ago, and have since then lost faith in women from far away places as a result of it.
In particular, I was shocked when a Philipino national, apparently a beautiful asian woman, admitted on camera that she was actually a male at birth and that she had recently undertaken a sex change operation in order to become a woman. She also admitted that she was undergoing further treatment as part of the sex change process, and that she was engaged to a straight man living in the US ,who had no knowledge of her sex change operation and who also intended to have children with her.
Furthermore, she revealed that the man was filing papers to enable them to live together as a couple in the US and that she intended to lie about the reason why she will not be able to have his children at the appropriate time and in order to forever conceal from him everything relating to her gender change operation.
The most frightening thing in the documentary was the "woman" herself. Because she did not have any masculine facial or bodily features at all. In fact, she looked like a typical beautiful sexy girl whom almost any man would fall for. And it was relatively easy for me to understand why the straight unsuspecting man in the US did fall for her. | |
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| from thailand with love
Posted: 4/28/2008 8:47:10 PM | thanks for all the messages,i have received some pms from men who wish to remain nameless but who have the same problem.
is this a case of,`doing it with you is taboo`?
in particular,if you have no way of determining sexuality -ladyboy or thai beauty-should you walk away?
i chortled gently to myself when i read some of the posts,yes,thai ladies are seeking a better life-and i can give it to them-but isnt this exactly what ladies from ones own country are seeking?
just to throw in another dimension,like a firework on a cold,slightly misty winters night,if you will excuse the metaphor,are those opposing doing so on subconscious racial grounds or due to socio-sexual stereotyping?in other words,in the 21st century does the sex of ones partner matter,and if the male/female was from europe would peoples comments be slightly more guarded?
i am also amused how people are quite happy to give to charity,but when they can improve the welfare of a whole family in the land of the rising sun they shy away from their social responsibilities | |
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| from thailand with love
Posted: 7/31/2008 1:16:20 AM | Since I have lived in Thailand for five years I shall add a little local perspective to this.
Ladyboys, also known as katoeys, are men who have been surgically altered to give them the appearance of women. Since they are able to choose their physical appearance katoeys are often exceptionally attractive. Be warned. Whilst many go through this because they feel like a woman in a man's body, considerable numbers do it just because they know their looks will bring in a lot of money from gullible men.
I have noticed several occasions on here where men have voted katoeys a "ten" possibly not realising they are voting for a man. Some ladyboys are quite open and state they are katoeys but others require some guesswork.
1) Katoeys cannot have children. If you see a Thai lady who does not have or want children then they may well be a katoey. Thai women are very family oriented and it is unusual to find a Thai who doesn't want their own family.
2) Height. There are few Thai women above 5ft 6ins.
3) Revealing/sexy clothing. Thai women are mostly modest whereas katoeys are usually obsessed with appearance and their sexuality. This applies especially to the ones who are after your money.
As for the regular Thai women, I have personally met some of the girls on PoF and they are a mixed bunch. Many are shy, modest, and highly unlikely to show any affection towards a man until they have known him for a LONG time. Years even. This includes holding hands or kissing.
I have had a six month relationship with one girl only for her best friend to inform me that she also has a "special" friend on PoF she has never met. This special relationship clearly didn't stop her meeting me, but likewise she hasn't discontinued it either. In return I have been kindly informed that best friend is leveraging money out of a German guy and has staggering debts.
That's the great thing about Thai women. If their best friend seems to have a good thing they will tell you all the dirt imaginable. Much better than ever having to hire a PI. | |
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| from thailand with love
Posted: 7/31/2008 1:30:01 AM | | What's the difference...your very much into fantasy anyway? Soulmate..shmolemate..your just on here for the fantasy...........Locally there should be a population of eastern beauties that are real and looking s companion. Try checking locally for asian beauties..you will know they are real and alive. | |
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| from thailand with love
Posted: 7/31/2008 1:30:37 AM | OP
You're only 42 and you consider yourself an "older man"? Also...your profile is a magnet for anyone--ladyboy/female whatever, who's interested in taking someone for a financial ride. And now that you've posted how "well off" you are...well the greedy fish will be knocking soon enough.
If you want a "ladyboy" then great, get one. I have a question--if this person IS a ladyboy, how in the heck wouldn't you know it BEFORE you got to a "stage"? I'm going to assume you're not having sex early on, fair enough. But wouldn't this be something you'd notice LOOOOOOOOOOOOONG before you got to that point? I'm sure that there are some physical giveaways.
All that being said---dating a ladyboy isn't the same as dating a woman. If that's what you want, then be specific.
And perhaps you should consider going/living there before you do pick-a-bride from online. That might help your chances of not getting something you don't want.
How can you find out? Ask them. And follow the other gent's suggestions regarding physical giveaways. Height was one of them and I'd have to agree.
Good luck... | |
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| from thailand with love
Posted: 7/31/2008 1:42:34 AM | When it comes down to meeting people in person, rahter than online, then there are other giveaways:
A) Adam's apple. Women don't have them, but ladyboys often do. There is an operation to deal with this though.
B) Large feet and hands.
C) General body shape. Ladyboys often have a "six pack" and the general area around the hips differs between men and women.
I did have one kind lady offer me the opportunity to "check" she was real once. | |
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| from thailand with love
Posted: 7/31/2008 1:50:14 AM | | thank-you so much for your interesting thread. I love to learn and we are all attracted to something we find pretty, good luck in your search. | |
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| from thailand with love
Posted: 7/31/2008 5:54:49 AM |
regularly search for my soulmate from countries in the far east,but have been alarmed how many potential partners later turn out to be male,coloquially referred to as `ladyboys`.
Bahahahahaha.... 
I think I woke up my neighbours...
Ummm...searching for love in foriegn countries...how does one "search" for love...I don't think love is something that be found it is something that has to be developed and is mutual between two or more people...
As for the ladyboy thing...I'm not even going to start. Maybe ask to see profile and side shots...look for a adam's apple...I don't think that can be removed surgically.
Oh and her/his gentials...if they are all mangled and look fake...they probably are.  | |
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| from thailand with love
Posted: 7/31/2008 6:52:50 AM | There is always the "cough" test. does her chin feel a little prickley in the evenings? When you sixty nine "her" you might want to look and see if you have balls on your for head... | |
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| from thailand with love
Posted: 7/31/2008 7:57:51 AM | You know, OP, I wouldnt normally stoop to the level of name calling,.. but you Sir, creep me out!
Good God, as if its not bad enough that these young Asian girls are living in poverty,.. we have men like you, willing to exploit them sexually.
And thats all it is,.. you can dress it up as an altruistic intention of giving some poor Asian girl a better life,.. and spout off about how you want a traditional woman,.. and that Western women are all too feministy and radical for you,.. but whats really happening here, is that you want a full time prostitute to indulge your ethnic centred fantasies with , at a knock down price, and you get to call her your 'wife' instead of your paid sex slave.
Do you like submissive women OP? I bet you do.
You'e nothing more than an exploiter of women who are poor and desperate.. you yourself have played up the 'support her and give her a better life' aspect of all this, so you're well aware of the deal you're trying to strike.
Why dont you man up,.. start treating women like human beings, and not fantasy objects.. and pick on someone your own size, maybe a transexual Thai 'lady' would be your ideal match.. although, I would feel sorry for the poor ladyboy, in this case.
Morgana. x | |
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