| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 4/24/2008 9:08:17 PM | | Is it an instant turnoff if a guy isn't interested in having sex? I mean, women always complain about guys wanting sex too soon or all the time. What do you think about someone who doesn't care about sex? | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 4/24/2008 9:10:31 PM | | I would have a problem if he didn't care about sex at all. Sex in a relationship is very important to me... it is the ultimate sharing and exploration of each other that solidifies a relationship for me. | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 4/24/2008 9:24:43 PM | | Yeah... men want sex... maybe not from me, but if I was turned down for reasons other then waiting or health then I would move on... (maybe there is a reason I am forgetting, but you get the idea!) | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 4/24/2008 9:26:03 PM | sheesh... why does it have to be ...
Hey babe, wanna hook up?
or
I don't want sex... don't care about it..
Can't we just have a happy medium... sex at the appropriate time ...
OP, if this is the thread about you or someone you know.. i'd suggest he checks out his testosterone level.... QUICK. | |
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vro312
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Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 5 | |
| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 4/24/2008 9:29:12 PM | Me, too. I'm not interested in a guy who's not interested in sex. And I never complain about getting pressured for sex. I don't put myself in a position to get pressured by the men I'm not into, and the men I am into are more than welcome to pressure me.  | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 4/24/2008 9:31:51 PM | Wow. And to think that I spent 35 of my 38 years having women NOT want to have sex with me; now that I've said I won't do it, it's wrong..
Who would have thought. | |
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vro312
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Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 7 | |
| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 4/24/2008 9:36:49 PM | | You mean you expected that if you said you didn't want to have sex, women would want to date you? Isn't sex what separates dating/romatic relationships from friendship? | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 4/24/2008 9:43:31 PM |
You mean you expected that if you said you didn't want to have sex, women would want to date you?
No. Thats not what I said. What I was saying is that until I was 35 - females didn't want to have sex with me. I've since gotten to the point that sex doesn't matter anymore. I have no interest in it. It could be for a number of reasons, but it's mostly because it's not important except to have kids.
My question was mainly to get an idea of whether I should permanently give up on wanting to date too.. | |
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vro312
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Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 9 | |
| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 4/24/2008 9:51:42 PM | Well, I'm pretty sure there are a lot of women out there who aren't that into sex. If you find one of those, you might have the ideal situation. But if you have no interest in sex, you obviously aren't going to be a good match for a person who values a sexual relationship.
Or you could give up on dating. That might work, too. | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 4/24/2008 9:52:10 PM | My ex was this kind of person and I can say that along with it went :
No need for closeness
touch
intimacy
a partnership
sharing his life with me
It was him......and me
No us, we or togetherness.
Get therapy and I do believe if you WANT to have a working relationhip with a woman, you should get help FIRST.
It is NOT just to have kids! | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 4/24/2008 9:59:18 PM | it's a dilemna.....................when age 20 and could handle 3 women a day and can't get a date, and then when older you have 40-something aged women who aren't in shape or as attractive any longer hitting up on you wanting sex non-stop but you ask yourself WHY NOW? couldn't it have occured back when u really wanted it!
at some point your drive is killed for seeing the lunacy of the change. you might need to drink lots to deal with things that make little sense in life.
i feel for you dude! i am a bit ticked off by how this society functions... no wonder why i don't feel like a human....all of the systems suck and i can't just brainlessly go along with them! | |
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Hagars
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Joined: 4/20/2008
Msg: 12 | |
| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 4/24/2008 10:14:58 PM | " i'd suggest he checks out his testosterone level"
======================================================
Males of our species can have very high levels of the hormone testosterone but not want to " do it"
99% of cases it is because they have not found someone the want to "do it" with. Contrary to the stereotype not all males just want a woman's body. | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 4/24/2008 10:15:23 PM | | Gotmail, my ex is exactly like that. I STILL can't figure out how he manages to live without touch, intimacy, closeness, affection. And obviously, that's why we aren't together anymore. | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 4/24/2008 10:23:44 PM | Well...that's not too great. I don't think I would like that. I would feel he didn't think I was desireable.
I can understand maybe you want to know someone and feel something for them first. So, that is fine. But, if she starts giving you signs that she is feeling something for you, you should do the same. At least show some affectionate towards her. It is important that you show her some sort of outward sign that you do want her and that you are feeling the same way. If not, it could be a deal breaker. | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 4/25/2008 12:43:32 AM | Guys, please help me understand this? I am soo trying not to take it all personally...
Not to sound comceited, but, I'm not ugly, not obese, have a fewskills horizontally and routinely tell Victoria's Secrets out loud if you know what I mean...
What is up (pun intended) with this guy that would rather look at porn?
I just don't understand? | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 4/25/2008 2:32:05 AM | I would say THAT man is now my hero, and all men everywhere should worship his dusty, rusty ass of non-use.
Bet you think I am kidding too right?
Imagine the self-control, or simple lack of giving a damn.
He could rule the world with all that money, time and.........money he saved.
GEICO freakin' amounts of money.
I would vote for that man.......
Seriously though, as odd as it may sound, there are men out there who are not preoccupied with sex constantly. Women don't know this because they never asked and already know everything if you ask one.
I would vote for that man...... | |
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nogo3
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Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 17 | |
| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 4/25/2008 3:48:51 AM | I think that since most women on pof are anti sex that lots of guys have learned to say that they are not interested in sex so that women will talk to them and date them.
Any mention of sex turns the women off.
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 4/25/2008 4:02:48 AM | Iminvalid you stated
What is up (pun intended) with this guy that would rather look at porn?
Well reading your profile and looking at your picture I would have to say the guy must be a FOOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 4/25/2008 4:43:44 AM |
Is it an instant turnoff if a guy isn't interested in having sex?
It's the same both ways ie both genders, and the age would be mostly irrelevant too, whether you're 17 or 70.
I've since gotten to the point that sex doesn't matter anymore. I have no interest in it. It could be for a number of reasons, but it's mostly because it's not important except to have kids.
If it weren't for procreation and the continuing of humanity, men & women wouldn't actually have a 'need' for either one. Once you realise that the opposite sex can not offer you anything that you don't (already) have, want, or need, well there's no need for a partner really, as you've probably realised.
If you're the sort of person whose independent in all ways, doesn't rely on others etc, for anything, well looking at it logically; makes no sense to be with someone just for the sake of being with someone. There's got to be a desire for it, either sexually, emotionally, financially, or for procreation. | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 4/25/2008 6:10:21 AM | | no you should still date. to begin with its wrong for a man to try to get sex on a date. if he likes her at all he should nto try. he needs to respect the lady. however if u get into a relationshiop where u truely love the woman...u will want to make love to her. so dont worry be happy. think of the bright side of this .......u dont have to worry aobut catching disease or cooties from some loose woman. lol. | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 4/25/2008 8:27:42 AM | | I think that I would be interested in a man who is not interested in sex. I would like to build a foundation for the raltionship, before making the choice mutually to be physically intemate. I had an ex like this, he actually set the bar for the type of men I am looking for. He would worship my body but never wanted sex, he would stop short of penetration every time. I loved it, he made me feel better about moving into that territory. He broke it off with me. It was because I went a little crazy. Don't want to talk about that. I will not explain that part too anyone. It was something that I can learn from, and not necessarily something that needs to be aired too the world. He did not break it off because of anything outside of my actions and how he felt about me and them at the time. I hope to let you know that there are women that are interested in men like this, out in our crazy world. | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 4/25/2008 8:43:12 AM |
sheesh... why does it have to be ...
Hey babe, wanna hook up?
or
I don't want sex... don't care about it..
Can't we just have a happy medium... sex at the appropriate time ...
You're making entirely too much sense to be posting here....
What's wrong with you?
/sarcasm
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 4/25/2008 10:10:55 AM | [quote}I think that since most women on pof are anti sex that lots of guys have learned to say that they are not interested in sex so that women will talk to them and date them.
Any mention of sex turns the women off.
I don't think its that women on POF are anti sex. They just don't like the guys who have sex as their only topic of conversation.
My not being interested in sex hasn't changed how women see me. They weren't interested in me before, and they're not any more interested in me now. But you're right that the mention of sex does turn lots of women off.
It's funny how women complain that all guys want is sex; yet a guy who isn't interested in sex is a turnoff. Or a guy who doesn't pursue and go after the sex is a turnoff and a wimp. None of it makes sense. | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 4/25/2008 10:13:25 AM | meh, soul2000, kudos to you. In this crazy, messed up oversexed world, it's far easier to feign interest in sex than it is to come out and say that sex doesn't really do it for you.
All I can say is that you have two choices - either go find some other person who really isn't into sex either, or get married *LOL* | |
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| A guy over 30 who doesn't want sex
Posted: 4/25/2008 10:44:49 AM | If a guy says no to a woman it's a red flag and is perceived as such in most cases, then the female brain takes over and starts to try to figure out on it's own accord the reasons why you don't want to have sex. Now when this brain gets rolling it can have a mighty good imagination and come up with some good stories and in the process make the women feel bad about themselves.
I think above is a good system, because to me it is a red flag. If someone I was dating all of a sudden stopped wanting to have sex the above paragraph would occur to me as well.
"does she not find me attractive?"
"does she find someone else attractive"
"what am I doing to not make them want to have sex"
"is she having sex with someone else"
and on and on... and in most cases there is a reasonable explanation but seriously, do our imaginations ever go to the most reasonable explanation... NEINE... mine goes right for the worst one!
Luckily this occurs in about 2 minutes and then I have to ask whereas some women like to think this over for months andlet it stew and fester... not all... some... | |
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