| I don't understand whyonline guys can't be respectful
Posted: 4/25/2008 9:33:11 AM | | On this site and other sites I've had a couple of profiles up where I've put up profiles looking for dating or LTR. And I hate it when I get responses from people where they're like I'm just looking for a FWB or f**kbuddy or they send me pictures of their penis. I hate it even more when I start a conversation and a few mins in all they want to talk about sex. Most dating sites have sections that cater to that type of interest and I'm sure that there are ladies there looking for the same kind of thing. I know that people tend to say that these types of guys are contacting whoever and as many people as possible just trying to find someone who's going to give them what they want. But I think it's disrespectful. If my profile says I want casual sex, internet sex, fwb of fb fine contact me with that kind of thing. But when it says dating or LTR I'm tired of getting excited about a new message or IM just to have it be some honry guy saying something offensve. I just think that if more people speak out and say it's not okay then guys would stop doing it. | |
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| I don't understand whyonline guys can't be respectful
Posted: 4/25/2008 9:46:00 AM | | Why are people rude on the Internet? B/c they are out of arm's reach, so they get brave. Just like people in SUVs get real brave and test the laws of physics...but are meek once outside their supposed suit of armor. | |
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| I don't understand whyonline guys can't be respectful
Posted: 4/25/2008 9:49:36 AM |
I just think that if more people speak out and say it's not okay then guys would stop doing it.
 Do really believe that would work???
Certainly the guys doing that don't care about what other people think. They are disrespectful and always will be. They're not going to change.
So, you have a couple choices. Do the read/block/report or just leave the site.
This is a free site and all the scum comes out. If someone had to pay to send you nasty emails then you probably won't get as many. There will always be ones that are willing to pay, but not all. | |
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| I don't understand whyonline guys can't be respectful
Posted: 4/25/2008 9:57:31 AM | > I'm sure that there are ladies there looking for the same kind of thing.
Just collect a few such names and numbers so you can pass them along to your emailers.
Problem solved.
And while you're at it, put me on your mailing list. Ya know, just for sh1t & giggles...
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| I don't understand whyonline guys can't be respectful
Posted: 4/25/2008 10:13:24 AM |
Why are people rude on the Internet? B/c they are out of arm's reach, so they get brave.
Agreed. It's a lot easier to act a certain way behind the comfort of a monitor. I delete messages like that and/or block them. It's not worth my time to respond. | |
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| I don't understand whyonline guys can't be respectful
Posted: 4/25/2008 10:19:10 AM |
I just think that if more people speak out and say it's not okay then guys would stop doing it.
I don't think anything is going to stop certain people from being idiots. The best response is just delete and block the offenders. | |
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| I don't understand whyonline guys can't be respectful
Posted: 4/25/2008 10:26:12 AM | These guys are disrespectful, period. That's why they ignore what your profile says and try to get what they want anyway. Their thinking, pretty much, is screw you and your feelings. Operating from what I think is real low self-esteem, someone who's looking for another person to make them feel good, it doesn't surprise me.
I haven't got the penis pictures (yuck) but I've got a couple of clearly looking for sex responses and I just delete it. | |
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| I don't understand whyonline guys can't be respectful
Posted: 4/25/2008 10:30:00 AM | OP I just think it'll make you more grateful when you meet a decent guy is all.
Those guys are doing the other guys a BIG favour. Just imagine if ALL men were gentlemen - that would just make the job even more difficult for the current blokes who are looking for the LTRs.
Please please please don't start a pressure group to get rid of the nasty men - this would ruin my chances completely. | |
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| I don't understand whyonline guys can't be respectful
Posted: 4/25/2008 10:43:13 AM | | Alot of them use this avenue as an excuse and means to do what they wouldn't pay to do which is to dehumanize women into objects of play for their mental eroticism.They will email u wanting u to go directly to another site like yahoo or msn and do it under the disguise of I really don't like to type or I can't type that good.Funny how when and if u do go to another window to chat with them then somehow they can and do type.Yet the one they don't say is that they want u to watch their cam as they masterbate.There was another thread entitled rudeness or something like that and this was the op's main complaint-he didn't or couldn't type that well so he liked going to phone calls but yet he managed to write clearly everything he wanted to convay in his post and may I add he used proper pronunciation with marks lol.Yet here come all these sympathetic got to have a man so I will say whatever women agreeing with his remark.I write in about the thing he or they r writing on is a keyboard and oddly enough it is used for typing.I also let them know that some ppl know that when u give out ur number and it is a landline then they can do a reverse search using it to locate ur address.Some ppl just don't want to be stalked or kidnapped or murdered or whatever so being patient online is a must.Now was I being rude for disclosing so me info or was he for trying to play on womens and mens sympathy by manipulating others into being sympathetic?If some guy tells u to take off all ur "musts" don't listen to him as he is probably one wanting to send u pics of his penis.Ultilize what u have available ok.oh yes and the one u really need up is the one saying must not have contacted others looking for sexual encounter. | |
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| I don't understand whyonline guys can't be respectful
Posted: 4/25/2008 10:44:00 AM | the way i look at it is this
if u wouldn't talk to a woman that way on the street at work in the library ect...then do not act like that online
in the real world very few guys come up to me and tell me i have nice boobs/tits ect. why they think this is going to get my attention on line i don't know
i just don't repond to people who talk like that in the first sentance they say to me...i figure the rest of what they have to say isn't worth hearing at that point
i may be sexy but there is alot more to me then sex and good looks...i preffer men who appeal to the other sides of me first...like having simaler interests, being able to discuse things, debate even...sex comes later
i just don't like it when i'm treated like i have nothing to offer but something to ****, and i don't think many women at all like that even if they are looking for a **** buddy.
i demand respect from anyone i'm with, my **** buddies, relationships and casual dates (i've done it all over the years)
all woman should do the same thing | |
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| I don't understand whyonline guys can't be respectful
Posted: 4/25/2008 10:51:40 AM | | I recently got a message from a guy asking what size bra I wore. Not exactly uncommon, but it turned out the reason he wanted to know was because he wanted to wear it himself! YUCK!!!!!!!!! | |
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| I don't understand whyonline guys can't be respectful
Posted: 4/25/2008 10:58:32 AM | | It's cyberland, anything goes! What matters most is how one is in "real" life...Screw the online drama, anyone can be anyone/anything they choose as most just live in "LaLa" land anyway. | |
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| I don't understand whyonline guys can't be respectful
Posted: 4/25/2008 11:02:15 AM | | why cant people be honest if men cant have sex with females then we wouldnt even talk to u lot get real and if men cant pay there so called wife or girl friends bills there wouldnt open there legs or mouths for u either | |
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| I don't understand whyonline guys can't be respectful
Posted: 4/25/2008 11:08:08 AM | I can totally relate to this post Girlwonder.......it get so tiring, I have changed my profile a few times and i believe that when you do send a really strong message it will lessen. If a man instant messages me, and starts talking about sex, the first thing i say is..did you read my profile? That ususally shuts them up, lets face it, this is the internet and there will always be the guys that are so disrespectful and perverted. Its really too bad because the good guys often end up paying for it.........so the bottom line is.....just use your click button.........dont put up with any of it......I certainly don't anymore.  | |
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| I don't understand whyonline guys can't be respectful
Posted: 4/25/2008 11:08:39 AM | If you look at their wording real close , they are usually blanketing an area with a form letter, I doubt if they are even reading your profile, just find an attractive pic and send out the form letter,and are going through the numbers to get a hit. It`s a game. And there are alot of people out there that are into this kind of thing apparently. Lots of strange ones.
They are getting their sexual kicks out of it because this is how they are wired. They
aren`t going to change. Just block them. That`s all you can do. If you haven`t noticed by now, alot of different values and lifestyles on here, everything from conservative to
hedonistic and masochistic. Got to be careful. | |
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| I don't understand whyonline guys can't be respectful
Posted: 4/25/2008 11:12:27 AM | sorry to tell ya but there will always be guys like that u cant avoid it on sites like theses.and i honestly dont think that just cause womens speak out about it theyre gonna stop.the same goes with people in here just to play games with people with no real intentions of meeting or anything that wont go away even if we wish it would.
online sites are like any other ways of meeting people u have to accept the bad sides that comes with it.its like meeting in bars if u go there to meet people than u have to accept that u will have to deal with lots of stupid drunken people lol | |
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| I don't understand whyonline guys can't be respectful
Posted: 4/25/2008 11:14:39 AM | | Ladies don't you realize that this is a sea change in society. You are looking for a man who will respect you and try to develop a relationship. Many, not all, seek instant gratification, buy now pay later, like tv shows where everyone lives happily ever after in 23 minutes. Now extend this to someone who in the old days trolled clubs looking for a one night stand. This is the one night stand machine, you sit behind a screen and ask 150 women "wanna have sex?". No slaps, no insults, no spitting in his face. He can say whatever he wants AND gets the bonus of blast email, one message 150 potential respondants. Now you have to see the poential for good also, many men seeking to have what you want LTR, dating, etc. This not being a perfect world or system(POF) you must weed out the bad, block them, report them. But they will still be here, coexisting in some format with the rest of us. my 2 cents Bob | |
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| I don't understand whyonline guys can't be respectful
Posted: 4/25/2008 11:24:40 AM |
Now you have to see the poential for good also, many men seeking to have what you want LTR, dating, etc.
Women have a big advantage on Internet dating sites because there are far more men looking for women than women looking for men. Women can easily delete, block, and ignore the offensive e-mail. | |
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| I don't understand whyonline guys can't be respectful
Posted: 4/25/2008 11:33:15 AM | OP-Just ignore and delete the offensive emails. Most of these guys get kicks out of doing this because they are hidden behind their monitors. Why? Who knows, some type of personality defect or just bored, who cares why, that's their problem. Don't let it upset you.
These types of people get even more happy when you reply to their offensive email and you rant and rave at them ...tell them how disgusting they are etc.....Do not give them the time of day and they'll go away. If you begin an IM conversation or phone conv. and you don't like where it's going, either ask them to stop or change the topic. If they proceed in speaking to you in that manner just hang-up, sign-out whatever applies.
These guys are usually mass emailing a tremendous amount of women and sit back and wait until they see who they catch.......Don't let it worry you or deter you. You sound sensitive to this, so a good idea would be to grow a little bit thicker skin. I don't mean that harshly either but, just let it "roll off". You will encounter many different types of people. And yes, it IS disrepectful to you, but, hey, you don't know them and they don't know you so, they have no basis to know what kind of person you are.
I generally don't answer any of those although, I've only gotten 3 that could be deemed as really offensive. Unless I'm in a mood to just "squash" them lol, I delete and block them ultimately. When I did respond but it was not with raving or ranting and showing signs of disgust, one I posted in the thread, "One line messages" or whatever that thread was, the guy even deleted his profile that night. But I don't suggest to you to do that. These guys don't care that you don't have FWB or Intimate Encounter listed, they are just trying to either get a "rise" out of you or they are checking to see if you will "bite" the bait.....as it were.
Again, just delete, ignore and block and go on fishing, These people will always be around using any venue they can. | |
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| I don't understand whyonline guys can't be respectful
Posted: 4/25/2008 11:35:39 AM |
Why are people rude on the Internet? B/c they are out of arm's reach, so they get brave. Just like people in SUVs get real brave and test the laws of physics...but are meek once outside their supposed suit of armor.
That sums it up nicely | |
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| I don't understand whyonline guys can't be respectful
Posted: 4/25/2008 11:44:11 AM | The only reason they're doing it is because on some level it's working.
Anonymity gives them the false courage to try, but the results give them the encouragement to continue. As noted, they can *blast* their message out to hundreds of women. If they only get one positive response, well that's more than they had before they started, and since their cost was zero, they figure they're ahead of the game.
Think of them as the junk mailers of internet dating. They don't care if they only get a 2% positive return, because the cost/benefit ratio is so much in their favour, they'll keep doing it. The time spent doing a copy-paste barrage is less than it would be to actually read through profiles and target their messages, so they figure they're ahead. Sadly the other 98% have to put up the junk mail.
Just like you would leave a *no junk mail* note for the post office, just block/report them and get on with enjoying your life, rather than worrying about someone you don't like anyways...
Cheers. | |
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| I don't understand whyonline guys can't be respectful
Posted: 4/25/2008 11:46:21 AM | "I really like it when you get to that point where you can be yourself and say whatever."
If you remove this line from your profile, you might be able to cut down on the number of guys that do "say whatever".
Just a thought.
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jf468
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Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 25 | |
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