| The straight "butch" woman - a myth?
Posted: 4/26/2008 9:32:14 PM | It seems to me like there's a great deal of adversity towards the notion of a woman who would consider herself "butch", and yet would be straight. If you google the topic, you'll end up on pages discussing stories of butch women disgusted at the men who attempted to ask them out. They were lesbians, obviously uninterested in the approach of the males.
What I found interesting though was that it was assumed, by these women, that to be butch automatically indicated lesbianism. Disdain was expressed at the men for even trying to ask them out when their physical characteristics were such.
So I'm wondering whether these women were in fact, wrong. Is there such a thing as a butch straight woman? I'm sure there are, but perhaps I'm wrong. | |
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| The straight butch woman - a myth?
Posted: 4/26/2008 9:38:13 PM | | The world is becoming very open sexually, and it's almost WRONG to say do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend to that opposite sex. It's more common now "are you seeing someone" to be more appropriate. Unfortunately (and I was contemplating this today as well actually) it's not always those wonderful stereotypes that hold true. There is every type of person in this world. Harder to find? Maybe. I don't think women should be offended when a guy asks them out. I've had women ask me out and have politely replied, no thank you. Butch straight women? Could be tom boy, doesn't make you a lesbian!!! | |
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| The straight butch woman - a myth?
Posted: 4/26/2008 9:47:00 PM | Sure there are "butch" straight women, but because "butchness" isn't seen as an appealing feminine trait within the parameters of heterosexual attraction, not many girls are going to advertise themselves as Paul Bunyon with a vagina.
To speak more personally, I have "butch" traits, and I often play them up...but I do so because I *know* it's unattractive. I've spent more time laying brick, hauling hundreds of pounds of concrete, and playing with power tools than most guys I know; I don't really enjoy it, but helping out "like a man" was expected of me for as long as I can remember. So, yeah, I say all sorts of silly pseudo-manly stuff and call guys sissies when they use a smaller drill than the one to which I'm accustomed, but I mostly showboat about it because it's a safe-guard against being hit on. Mind you, I only wear skirts and dresses when I go out, I use make-up, and I clutch at my pearls when I'm shocked like a little old lady, so I'm not even close to being "lesbian butch."
I think this is an interesting topic. I hope you get some better answers. | |
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| The straight butch woman - a myth?
Posted: 4/26/2008 10:28:14 PM | I don't even know what butch means anymore. I like getting my hands dirty, talking about gross things sweating from a good work out. But I also wear dresses and makeup.
Am I butch, lesbian or normal... I'm confused. | |
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| The straight butch woman - a myth?
Posted: 4/26/2008 10:34:00 PM | | Butch seems to just mean masculine female. I think it has more to do with looks than actions. Short short hair, no makeup baggy clothing etc. | |
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| The straight butch woman - a myth?
Posted: 4/26/2008 10:36:07 PM | um... I think the term "tomboy" applies... just a thought
The last I knew, the only social stigma to being a tomboy came, primarily, from some women and some men... but it's really a matter of taste and preference - like everything else. | |
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| The straight butch woman - a myth?
Posted: 4/27/2008 3:38:56 AM | | I remember them at school, and secretly fancied them even though most of them had boyfriends - maybe a couple were lesbians in embryo. They were usually on the hockey team. (thanks for asking - I am straight, this was just a teenage crush which came to nothing - although I do retain the memories of the shower room) | |
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| The straight butch woman - a myth?
Posted: 4/27/2008 6:34:14 AM |
um... I think the term "tomboy" applies... just a thought
The last I knew, the only social stigma to being a tomboy came, primarily, from some women and some men... but it's really a matter of taste and preference - like everything else.
I don't think that "tomboy" and "butch" define the same type of person. There's much overlap, sure, but I see "tomboy" as defining something that's entirely behavioral. The presentation of such a person in the form of hairstyle, dress wear, emanate from that. I see 'butch" as defining a bit of behavioral, but also physical, traits of a person.
For instance, someone like Claire Danes could be considered a tomboy, but I don't think anyone could call her "butch." | |
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| The straight butch woman - a myth?
Posted: 4/27/2008 8:33:19 AM | Metrosexual Straight men.... Butch straight female. To be honest, I can dress up and be pretty and ladylike, and I do keep my hair longer these days than the days when most of the rumors of me supposedly being a man-hating lesbian were circulating around town. I do work most comfortably with men, I am pretty much one of the guys and as tough as any of them, and yet, I've found a balance in my middle age where I can be cute and sexy and female without being girly and pink, and still keep my strength and toughness as clear as the heart that some people wear on their sleeves.
Sometimes I get a little too much guy and I know it turns the men off, but I work with them, so I don't want them turned on by me anyway! In my personal time, I try to be a bit more womanly.
Am I the mythical straight butch? Less so than when I was younger, as a cowgirl, more so than when I was academic and in student government. Less so than when I was raising two rambunctious hell-bent teenage boys, and apparently, a baker's dozen of their unsupervised friends as well. More so than when I was newly empty nested of the boys and going out dancing three or four nights a week, in sexy heels and a mini-skirt.
Women change throughout a singular day and a singular month, y'all know that, but we also adjust a great deal to the changing circumstances of our lives. One part of a day you might see me laboring hard on the house I'm flipping, or in uniform and carrying guns and ammo, and another part of the day, I'm in a house frock and cleaning, or dressed up for a professional meeting with a non-profit, or I've got a dozen colors of pigment or clay on my hands (or even my face and hair), from being an artist, or I'm playing softball at the park with my daughter, and so on and so forth. Your impression of me at any of those times will fail to reveal all of me. What you see, is always and ever only a fragment of what you get from a woman.
Now, I'm gonna take off my uniform from working midnight shift, put away my cuffs and gun belt and other gear, muss up my curly mop of hair that I keep slicked back at work, slip into my cute little frock, spend the rest of the day barefoot and being my own housewife.
From Butch to Susie Home Maker in a flash. You got a problem with that? | |
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| The straight butch woman - a myth?
Posted: 4/27/2008 9:07:57 AM | picking nits, perhaps...
For instance, someone like Claire Danes could be considered a tomboy, but I don't think anyone could call her "butch."
Truthfully, I had to go look up Claire Danes to find photos of her since I had no idea who she was or what she looked like. Based on IMDB photos... I just don't see the "tomboy" image at all. She may not be an ultra-girly girl... but she doesn't look rough and tumble like most of the tomboys I know.
OP, are you asking if it's a myth simply because you have no "image" in your mind? Or are you arbitrarily assigning a "new" label to those women who have never cared about stylish clothes or makeup or hair tints/extensions/styles? Or is it more an attempt to define certain "body types" based on arbitrary, subjective criteria?
Don't we have enough labeling going on, already? "Lipstick Lesbian". "Butch Dyke", "Girly Girl", "Tomboy"... where does it all end? Stop the madness, already...
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| The straight butch woman - a myth?
Posted: 4/28/2008 11:41:20 AM | "Butch" is a lesbian term.
That said, I know many non-feminine straight women who do like men and would be charmed and flattered were a man to hit on them. These women, though, are a bit more difficult to get close to because they are used to being a certain way and are now adjusting to being another way (ie, they were tomboyish and treated possibly as one of the guys, and are now being treated as ladies during a courtship phase). | |
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| The straight butch woman - a myth?
Posted: 4/30/2008 3:53:01 AM | | a woman being charmed and flattered if a man hit on them??? seems to me they got more troubles then the man who is hitting them. maybe the woman has got hit in the head one time too many. | |
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| The straight butch woman - a myth?
Posted: 4/30/2008 7:10:00 AM | I guess some of us just never were taught, or had it in us to be real "feminine" - and maybe some hung out with the boys too much instead of flirting with them. And some may have had to work like boys (especially on the farm), and just never could grow long fingernails to paint ... and some just learned to be "manly" by having to do all kinds of "manly" things.
My daughter says I'm "butch" ... but I'm sure not a lesbian (not yet, anyway). | |
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