| one night stand etiquette questions
Posted: 4/27/2008 4:04:13 PM | Okay I need a little help on that. I had my first ever last night. I'm not so sure what's normal and what's not on that. So I got a few questions.
How can you tell if someone wants to meet again?
Do people usually exhange phone numbers?
How long do you wait before calling back?
How can you tell if it's heading just for the sex or for an actual relationship or at least seeing again thing?
Okay hard but that should cover what I need to know. And again avoid that judgmental thing please lol.
Thing is we had both pretty 'rough' sex and quite a lot of 'sweet' moments. She seemed really interested in both the sex and the talking. In the morning too (not drunk).
I guess I should have asked: Do people usually do this whole talking for hours in bed thing? I mean do people usually stick to sex only during one night stands?
I guess that could shed some light on all that. Because I'd really like to get more out of this experience. But I don't think I'm very good at reading the one night stand game! | |
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| one night stand etiquette questions
Posted: 4/27/2008 4:53:09 PM |
How can you tell if someone wants to meet again?
Depends on the person... your best bet is to ask her.
Do people usually exhange phone numbers?
If they want to see the person again, they will exchange REAL numbers. If not, you give/get a fake one.
How long do you wait before calling back?
Some people will say a day or three, but I think if you want to call, then call!
How can you tell if it's heading just for the sex or for an actual relationship or at least seeing again thing?
Again, you need to talk to her. Communication is important. If you both want to spend time with each other out of the bedroom, then there's a chance that you both want something more from this. If you are both just happy with only meeting in the boudoir then it sounds more like a no strings attached f*ck buddy.
Do people usually do this whole talking for hours in bed thing? I mean do people usually stick to sex only during one night stands?
Yes, talking and sharing is part of it. Even if it never goes any further than the one night, most people still like to talk and connect a bit that way.
OP, it sounds like you would like this to be more than a one night stand. Just follow your instincts and don't worry about "rules". Rules are for fools and guidelines are for wisemen. Hope I've helped some. | |
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| one night stand etiquette questions
Posted: 4/27/2008 4:55:16 PM | ^^^yes, rules were meant to be broken.
I take it you're interested in seeing the person again, or you wouldn't be asking. If that's the case, make sure and let her know, and be honest - if you're interested in her (for more than just sex), make sure she knows that it wasn't just "a good time" but that you like her company, her humor, have interests in common, whatever. And then ask her out on a real date for later this week - to somewhere other then her/your apartment - so you can get to know each other in a "different light". | |
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| one night stand etiquette questions
Posted: 4/27/2008 6:23:33 PM | | If you want to see her again, just ask for her number and call her. You'll know soon enough if she is interested. Don't worry about what other people do during a one night stand. Do whatever feels comfortable at the time. I'm sure she'll tell you to just shut up and f**k if she doesn't want to talk. | |
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| one night stand etiquette questions
Posted: 4/27/2008 7:25:40 PM | | If it was a true one night stand - that's it - it's over - no more - no numbers - no contact no nothing! Don't look for a relationship to come of this! It was sex and nothing more - move on and don't make a fool of yourself! If she wants ya - she'll let ya know!! | |
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| one night stand etiquette questions
Posted: 4/27/2008 9:22:50 PM | ^^^ agree, thought is was an oxymoron.
How do you know it was a one night stand? Did you both state that before you had sex? Was it a night out and you met and went home together?
Speaking as a female.. (I have never had a one night stand) but...... when a woman typically has sex with a man, it is because she wants to see you again. Read 90% of the forums about it. So, if you liked her and would like to see her again, call her and ask her out. | |
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| one night stand etiquette questions
Posted: 4/27/2008 10:25:40 PM | | To answer some of the points...I guess at this point it is a one night stand. Don't hold the word choice against me I know none better (I'm not english lol). What others are there lol? If something more happens then it wasn't the way I see it. We did meet and went home. And she did give me her number the following morning. I hope it's a real one!! But I can't rely on her calling since I don't have a phone yet I just moved to a new city! | |
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| one night stand etiquette questions
Posted: 4/27/2008 10:43:12 PM | Maybe you need to figure out if you wanted this to be just a one night stand or if you're looking to actually get to know them.
(Yes, usually a one night stand means just sex. Randomly. Once. And maybe some surface talk to balance things out. Nothing more.) | |
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| one night stand etiquette questions
Posted: 4/28/2008 11:17:44 AM | | op call her if you want to see her again ..and it appears you do...i had a one night stand thats lasted 29 years so far...leeann.. i very seldom disagree with you but this time i think you are wrong ...what if she too wants something more and was afraid that it was just a one night stand to him ...someone needs to take the chance of making a fool out of ones self ....or something that was meant to be might not stand a chance....god if i could have back the times i didnt talk to someone for fear of appearing foolish..there have been more times that i have been foolish for not asking than there have where i made a fool of my self by asking....the only foolish question is one not asked | |
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| one night stand etiquette questions
Posted: 4/28/2008 1:26:58 PM |
one night stand etiquette questions {I had my first ever last night}
How can you tell if someone wants to meet again?
Do people usually exhange phone numbers?
How long do you wait before calling back?
How can you tell if it's heading just for the sex or for an actual relationship or at least seeing again thing?
Meet again? They don't. That's the definition of a ONE night stand. One and done.
Phone numbers? That depends. Depends on whether you got the phone number BEFORE you decided to meet and used it in order to meet. If you just did a random hookup, you don't need the phone number.
Call back? You don't call back; one night stand, one and done.
No relationship, you aren't seeing them again. Again, look up the definition of one night stand. 
Do people usually do this whole talking for hours in bed thing? I mean do people usually stick to sex only during one night stands? I dunno. You tell me.
Because I'd really like to get more out of this experience. You can't, it was a one-nighter. One and done. | |
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| one night stand etiquette questions
Posted: 4/28/2008 1:29:10 PM | The right thing to do would be to give out her number to random guys on POF, she seems like a keeper!!! (Although we may throw her back....) | |
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| one night stand etiquette questions
Posted: 4/28/2008 1:46:15 PM | Hmmm.... in my experience, a one night stand is just that. I would have and expect it to be one night... that's it. Not so for many of the guys, but they still gave me their number or wouldn't leave, stop by etc....lol. A one night stand doesn't have to be just sex and surface talk... it can last all the way into the morning with great sex AND great conversation, but maybe that is where i gave the guys the wrong idea.
Personally i wouldn't want to start a relationship on the premise of a one night stand, but that is just me, relationshipos start all kinds of ways.
Only way to find out is to call her up and ask her if she is interesting in going out somewhere... besides your bedroom, and see what she says. You can only regret things you don't do..... | |
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| one night stand etiquette questions
Posted: 4/28/2008 1:59:40 PM | I've never had a one night stand that couldn't go longer. In fact, all mine did. A one night stand can, and does in many cases progress to a relationship.
I think the question you should be asking yourself is: Do I want to see her again?
If she wasn't a freak, then call her today and ask her if she wants to go for a coffe this week. Don't believe the 3day rule. | |
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| one night stand etiquette questions
Posted: 4/28/2008 2:03:37 PM | Well just ask her and tell her what you feel and wish... No one here can say if she'll want to see you again or not. Ask and you shall receive...
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| one night stand etiquette questions
Posted: 4/28/2008 2:18:27 PM |
And she did give me her number the following morning. I hope it's a real one
There you go. She gave it to you to use,not sit and stare at it. Whether it is real or not, you won't know until you use it! | |
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| one night stand etiquette questions
Posted: 4/28/2008 2:22:50 PM | I'd like to preface this with this...I've never went out and picked up someone with the sole intention of doing them and never seeing them again. If we did it, I wanted to explore more with them. That said, there's no etiquette to this stuff.
And no, I've yet to have a talk about it prior...I just don't lay put parameters for something unknown.
One memory that sounds sorta like yours from a couple years ago... we were semi acquainted before the big event, lol, and it happened on the second actual "date". He showed up with 2 flowering plants for me, lol, then we went out and had a most wonderful dinner out at the river. Later, there was lots of sex, hours of talking about pretty deep stuff, lol, over a bottle or more of wine---outside on his patio and barely dressed-- a nice coffee chat the following morning, and when he brought me back home, he did a lil home repair on my back door, as the lock was loose. I truly had the most awesome time with him!
Never heard from him again...until about 2 months ago when he emailed me. Never explained his 2 year silence, but I'm guessing he's shot through all the rest of the 1 night stands in this VERY large metro area, to have finally circled back around to me! 
Men!
You can be treated really well and have an awesome time, but a lay is still a lay, and a poof is still a poof---no etiquette involved!
PS: Numbers, emails and addresses were already known and used. When he poofed, I wrote him once to let him know I had a cool time...but he never responded. What a dik. | |
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| one night stand etiquette questions
Posted: 4/28/2008 2:52:33 PM | I really like your comments so far. The thing is as it is I'd just like to see her again. Not get into a 'serious' relationship per se. There's a world of difference. Just to see if what was going on wasn't only a one night kind of connection. ie I think it clicked on every level but I can't say if it's only part of the whole game. So meeting would be nice to check that I'm not crazy!
I got my poker night tonight lol but I don't think it's such a great date idea! I got the pool on friday. That would probably be better. Or maybe just go back to the bar but I'm not so sure about that one.
Do you guys think a week is too long a gap?
I'm really lost when it comes to those things lol. | |
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| one night stand etiquette questions
Posted: 4/28/2008 4:25:16 PM | | Hmmm well the most important thing would be what type of one night stand it was. was it a we met in a bar hit it off and suddenly were in bed? or a first date that had great chemistry? well i guess it could be one of those porn we met at the small bookstore she runs then she locked the door and pushes me against the wall and...opps lost my train of thought lol. my point is everyone of these situations are diffrent and the best way to go is to play it by ear. if shes interested in seeing you again for conversation you'll know just as if shes only there for your body you'll know also. its diffucult to answer your question because one night stands come (no pun im not that shallow) in all forms. while there are some people who have them just for sexual release there are just as many who do it while on a quest for love despite that being the wrong way to find it. either way i wish ya the best of luck , whetehr this becomes a mutual sex thing or a budding romance | |
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| one night stand etiquette questions
Posted: 4/28/2008 4:45:55 PM | Justin,
You are only 22, so I am going to give you some "womanly" advice..lol There are no rules as to when to call. You call when you want to. Obviously, you want to, so just do it. Even if you are busy during the week, a call to say you had a good time and would you like to go out sometime, is good. Then you can decide where and when together. If she tells you she is busy or probably not a good idea, then she wants nothing more than it was. If you wait too long, she will blow you off wondering why it took you so long. If a guy doesn't call sooner and then calls later, a woman automatically assumes he is just calling for a booty call. | |
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