| Where is the love?
Posted: 4/27/2008 9:55:20 PM | So far I have only talked to three guys on here. Now this one guy seem sweet we had been talking for two weeks. He sent me a rose and just recently asked me to be his girlfriend. Well he said he would stop comimg here. I found out that he had been logging in everyday and now has 0 roses. His excuse "I was giving a friend golf lessons." Oh please what does a rose being sent saying be mine has to do with golf lessons? I am so hurt by this I just dont understnad. No matter how many times I say if you are not ready to just be with one person leave me a lone. I just would like to meet one guy who would treat me right. I am so tired of getting my heart torn in two. | |
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| Where is the love?
Posted: 4/28/2008 4:43:06 AM | OP,
I don't understand...
You never met the guy... it was a virtual rose... and he asked you to be his gf?
OH come on....
There is nothing to be hurt about... sheesh.. i thought you guys were dating...
I know Im sensitive... but damn girl... your heart broken into two?? Over this?
You gotta start building some armour around that heart... otherwise you're in big trouble...
Don't believe everything you hear... or how sweet he is... I don't think you should give this a second thought... Just don't.. don't don't....
Forget about it... | |
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| Where is the love?
Posted: 4/28/2008 4:57:15 AM | If a guy sent me a rose after talking with me for only 2 weeks, I would think he was really into me, but I wouldn't think it would be exclusive. Heck, we wouldn't have even met yet.
You are young, a relationship needs to be a bit longer and stronger, before you can make it exclusive. How can you be his girlfriend if you haven't met yet? | |
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| Where is the love?
Posted: 4/28/2008 5:36:56 AM | | you have to look for things like that on date sites........people are "shopping".........it`s what we do here. you cannot logically expect a guy to not talk to other women........if you have never met face to face then it`s still "virtual" to him........and until it becomes a face to face thing and you both KNOW it`s a romantic connection you cannot realistically expect that........come join us in reality and get outta the "perfect" fantasy that you got cooked up in ur head........no expectations/no disappointments! | |
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| Where is the love?
Posted: 4/28/2008 5:58:20 AM | | i think u should have waited till u met face to face or had a conversation on the mobile or emailed each other on ur personal email then u can say he broke ur heart girl,coz most gus here need security that ur his.neway i wish u luck en i knw ther is some one ther for u,it jst a matter of tym till u both meet.cheers | |
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| Where is the love?
Posted: 4/28/2008 6:08:22 AM | Good grief OP.. you are only chatting and just started doing that. you havent met ..this is a dating/friendship site.Untill you meet if you meet. you will not be the only person he mails or talks to,and really cant expect that of him.I send these little pics to loads of folk on here I have loads of points so use them up... Never use the roses I admit. but dont expect nothing from any they are just friends.
Once you meet and if you do hit off and you do start a relationship.You cant ask or wonder why he is doing what he is doing.If you are in a relationship and he is doing it thats diff.
good luck hope you find what your looking for. | |
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| Where is the love?
Posted: 4/29/2008 11:36:48 PM | | Thanks everyone for the advice but my heart is not torn over him(Its torn over the guys i have dated) i just hate to be lied too. Yes I know I am young and believe me I have a thick barrier around my heart I dont trust anyone easily but it just annoyed me that he lied. I know there are plenty of people who have never met the person they are in a relationship with and finally meet when the both are comfortable so i will have to disagree with a few of you. Oh I am well with reality just thought I would try this out to see if the guy for me is not located here lol. Dont be so fast to make assumptions on things you dont know the whole story. ; ) | |
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| Where is the love?
Posted: 4/30/2008 2:03:50 AM | I understand you are upset he lied. I don't get why people need to do this!
I found out that he had been logging in everyday and now has 0 roses.
But you wouldn't have found this out if you weren't logging on yourself! Unless maybe a friend was here and informed you??? | |
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| Where is the love?
Posted: 4/30/2008 2:32:25 AM | I tell ya girl this internet stuff can be crazy ... Im sorry to hear your upset about men on here ... I have been talking to a guy that I think is going to be atleast good freind for a little over month now and on the phone and texts he is so sweet and is always talking like it could be or will be me and him in the future ... well he will get on about 1am or so and be on for some time but he dont call or text me ... Do I take this has a heartache ? No I dont ... I do what I want too until some guy tells me that he wants us to see only each other ... after all they are seeing who they want .. its a two way street ... Now if he told you that he is only seeing you then it becomes a different story .... he then is lying and lying about something that is a huge thing ... If he lies now then he will lie later and God only knows what else he is or will lie about in the future ... I take liars about things like saying "I luv you" and they are just saying it or "your the only one" while their talking or seeing other girls has men that WILL do ya very wrong ... Best to dumb him and move on if he lied ... You can do better than that ...  | |
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| Where is the love?
Posted: 5/1/2008 1:49:45 AM | "Where is the love?"
Not here! Well, that is unless you are a wealthy, extremely "hot" male looking for a woman to hang out with. Or unless you are a woman. | |
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| Where is the love?
Posted: 5/1/2008 3:25:07 AM | I am so hurt by this I just dont understnad.
misslala - consider yourself spared rather than hurt. Two weeks of chatting with someone you've never met who sends you a virtual rose, asks you to be his GF not even really knowing you are red flags in spades. Your heart is torn in two because somewhere in the communications uncommon sense got parked in storage.
Take a breather out of the pond. Reset your expectations of the fish, redefine some clear boundaries for yourself when it comes to dating and your heart, and bring uncommon sense out of storage. Choose not to engage heart before brain is in gear.
Seeming sweet doesn't mean sweet. Wearing your vulnerability on your sleeve attracts sharks, not dolphins. If it sounds too good to be true, it's probably not true.
Also, why should you be upset with him for continuing to log on when evidently you were as well? And...anytime you find yourself compelled to focus on checking up on the other person is a fairly strong indicator that your internal radar is trying to tell you something isn't quite right about the situation. Far better to listen to your internal radar than to waste your time and energy trying to determine the other person's veracity by checking up on them.
Why engage your heart on the basis of words exchanged with someone you've never met and never spent time in person getting to know?
Sorry - but you set yourself up to get hurt here. Anyone can speak words that sound good. Anyone can tell you what you want to hear. Doesn't mean throw your heart in on the basis of words that sound sweet. 
P.S. Relationships and love are processes, not events or destinations. | |
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| Where is the love?
Posted: 5/2/2008 7:34:36 PM | Thanks everyone for the advice but my heart is not torn over him(Its torn over the guys i have dated) i just hate to be lied too. Yes I know I am young and believe me I have a thick barrier around my heart I dont trust anyone easily but it just annoyed me that he lied. I know there are plenty of people who have never met the person they are in a relationship with and finally meet when the both are comfortable so i will have to disagree with a few of you. Oh I am well with reality just thought I would try this out to see if the guy for me is not located here lol. Dont be so fast to make assumptions on things you dont know the whole story. ; )
PS. Yes I did log back in just to see was he telling the truth but everything and I found out he was not. | |
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| Where is the love?
Posted: 5/2/2008 11:57:50 PM | Why are you bent out of shape? You only talked with the guy for several weeks, and he wants you to be his g/f already! He wants a booty call at the most, and you fell for it!
Find someone else and move on! STOP  | |
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| Where is the love?
Posted: 5/3/2008 5:25:12 AM | PS. Yes I did log back in just to see was he telling the truth but everything and I found out he was not.
Ummm...isn't this bordering on a bit of obsession over someone else's conduct?
No one likes being lied to but welcome to life! It happens! People are people! Sometimes, people lie! It doesn't make it right, but some people do lie. So why get all tied up in knots over it? Almost like looking at the empty stage after a performance is over waiting for an encore that isn't going to happen as the performance wasn't that great to begin with.
Let it go and move on. Regardless of who you are torn over, might be time to step back and allow yourself a bit more healing time. | |
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| Where is the love?
Posted: 5/3/2008 7:23:45 AM | I can't get how coming here equals golf lessons.?
Perhaps you would be better off forgetting him and find ing someone else? | |
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| Where is the love?
Posted: 5/12/2008 12:03:08 PM | | Umm heck no its not a obession lol no way. I can never be obesses with anyone, its just ot me. This is just a topic, people should not take it so harshly. | |
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| Where is the love?
Posted: 5/12/2008 12:29:10 PM | It's a 'virtual' rose for Pete's sake and you've only been chatting with him 2 weeks? You've not met him at all - you can't call exclusive on such.
Why would you be so hurt by this? It all means nothing!
Step back, breathe and move on with life.
Stop being the 'victim' in such petty 'relationships'. Hand over all your power and it's 'game over.'
Take back all control. | |
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| Where is the love?
Posted: 5/12/2008 2:47:15 PM | | You are only 19 years old! Most all guys in your age bracket want to hit and run. If your giving booty calls, its time you stop. Try someone on an older age bracket and see what happens. Its what your allowing them to do to you. You know thing arent working your way, change your approach. Good luck! | |
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| Where is the love?
Posted: 5/12/2008 3:14:05 PM |
I know there are plenty of people who have never met the person they are in a relationship with and finally meet when the both are comfortable so i will have to disagree with a few of you
Sorry OP but I don't see how anyone can have a proper girl/boyfriend relationship with someone they have never met.
You seem to be pretty new on this site. Welcome to the world of online dating. You need to develop a really good bullsh1t detector. Always trust your instincts. Never commit to someone you haven't even met yet!
Online dating does work but you do have to have your wits about you. | |
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| Where is the love?
Posted: 5/12/2008 6:38:41 PM | bravo!! perfect answer!!! touchdown!! ... get the fishing gear out of the closet!! | |
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| Where is the love?
Posted: 5/12/2008 7:22:12 PM | | love takes time! and cant be made over the internet!! | |
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| Where is the love?
Posted: 5/14/2008 12:24:47 AM | | He sent you a rose and asked you to be his girlfriend? What, are we in high school? He said he would stop coming here but then you didn't yourself. You obsessively checked his logging in and confronted him...I don't know about you but this would have screamed "stalker chick" to me and had me run for the hills. You can't ask someone to be with just "one" person without ever meeting in person. Messaging back and forth is not called dating. Time to grow up. | |
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| Where is the love?
Posted: 5/14/2008 12:37:15 AM | easy gurl....just dont give your heart online.....or too easy
damn im a grandmother.... im 43 come winter lots of parts of my body hurt....
protect your heart as a body part as much.. nooo more ....of course more...
i reckon... that everytime we love someone.....we join hearts/spirits and love stays inside.... then we gotta deal with it...
i reckon.... everytime ive been in love... and parted... each time my heart has cracked a little more.....
so i concluded........ every person i love has the power ive given them to crack me just a littlebit more..... so now my heart is my most valuable body part.... to protect.. and give whats left to someone really special..
i ran outta heart putty..
just realise you connect on differ levels..
1.mind
2.body.
3. spirit.
4.ego
5.emotions.
not in any particular order..... so to keep your heart for the special people..
realise... ego/mind/body.. emotions... can be felt....... before you give da whole heart/spirit,,, so just realise what parts of you ... you are interacting with..... and egos/emotions crack too.....
dont be giving away the heart and spirit........ to strangers..
hands you the ego spak filler...here hun.... crack it up and look at peoples motivation/agenda... before you give them your power..
smiles and peace from grandma | |
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| Where is the love?
Posted: 5/14/2008 2:26:18 AM | Hi soulmate08
You must have read a lot of self improvement/Spirituality books which is no bad thing-I"ve read quite a few myself though not for some years. You have got it right on the nail with your comments.
Few of us can reach the ideal of loving completely without conditions or expectations but if we aspire to that level then we have an in built shield against the kind of hurt experienced by the op (Or at least the hurt that most of us thought she was expressing ). I am reminded of one of Krisna Murti"s books which I read after finding it mislaid (or was it given willingly?) by a previous traveller in a Malaysian bus. The
sentence which has often come back to me was " I love you and it"s none of your business.."
Strangely this book quite soon after slipped out of my hands some where in Thailand . I wonder where in the world it could be by now... | |
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| Where is the love?
Posted: 5/14/2008 2:29:03 AM | ^^^^ on a bus somewhere....
actually theres a story about that isnt there?
leaving a great book on a bus for a fellow traveller to find... as a gift?..
why do some people go through life... not knowing all their different parts?.....
once you know.... ohh my kneee hurts....ohhh ohhh geee my ego hurts...or dear god my best friend died.....heart crack...
eaach part hurts differently...... and you can still feel all the pleasure of different parts without... using them all at once...just imo..
aho
smiles/peace | |
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