| is there really someone for everyone?
Posted: 4/28/2008 12:59:33 AM | | i've been single for a long time..and i have to admit it gets lonely sometimes :( so i thought i would try this dating site and see what happens..but so far, no luck. i've had my heart broken couple times and it was really hard for me to go thru each day. i'm not into the club/bar scene much so it's hard to meet someone..even some of my friends had set me up with people they know but it never work out :( so..i feel like givin up | |
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| is there really someone for everyone?
Posted: 4/28/2008 1:07:53 AM | No, there isn't.
Not when you use the fairy tale standard.
The Cinderella, Snow White and other fairy tales imply that women will fall madly in love on sight (with the first prince to come along... meaning a rich handsome guy) and that guy will be single and reciprocate.
And then they live happilly ever afer (implying they never disagree about anything)
Thats not reality.
Quit looking for the fantasy.
It just doesn't happen.
Look more for something on the nature of Fiddler on the Roof... (the father and his wife's relationship) where they might disagree... but they work it out. (OK... he manipulates his wife using a fake dream... because thats the only way the old bat would do what he wanted.) | |
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| is there really someone for everyone?
Posted: 4/28/2008 1:09:45 AM | Loneliness is not a lack of people in your life.
Loneliness is a lack of PURPOSE in your life.
I believe there is "someone for everyone" but the Prince Charming, (or any Prince for that matter) Mr. Right, and Knight on a White Horse has got to GO! | |
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| is there really someone for everyone?
Posted: 4/28/2008 1:12:53 AM | | Oh honey no offese but at the age of 23 you're already looking to give up? I mean it's not like you're one of those ladies in thier early 30's or 40's who have never really been in a loving relationship (no offense to anyone like that) You're ONLY 23 for god's sake. Honestly you sound like you have baggage. | |
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| is there really someone for everyone?
Posted: 4/28/2008 1:41:35 AM | """loneliness is not a lack of people in your life.
Loneliness is a lack of PURPOSE in your life."""
In that vein, when we aren't "happy" with the way things are going in our lives, guess who the number one cause is? Like I was told "Don't get in a relationship unless you really have something to offer the other person" (and hopefully, they too can give).
But back to the OP: no, not everyone is "destined" to have a LTR. Those are the people who do not have much to offer, or can't, and aren't willing to make lifestyle changes. | |
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| is there really someone for everyone?
Posted: 4/28/2008 1:48:00 AM | Well there is plenty of fish in the ocean...
You just have to be willing to swim across rivers and seas, if destiny wasn't kind enough to place your fish in shining armor in your local pond... | |
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| is there really someone for everyone?
Posted: 4/28/2008 7:34:32 AM | Well to answer your subject thread, I do believe there is someone for everyone, even if you never meet them.
Only thing I can tell you is to keep trying. Giving up because of frustration isn't the answer, a different approach is. Keep your chin up, and keep looking, I am sure some one to your liking will happen along. | |
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| is there really someone for everyone?
Posted: 4/28/2008 7:37:05 AM |
is there really someone for everyone?
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Well In my humble opinion:
By the look of things there are more than somone for some people and No one for some others................
And some don't care who is for them as long as there is someone...
Another complicated reality ............ | |
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| is there really someone for everyone?
Posted: 4/28/2008 7:42:37 AM | | There once was a time when I used to believe that, but I have had to rethink that belief as of late, I am now thinking no, there isn't. Some I think are destined to be single and alone for reasons I haven't quite figured out yet. | |
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| is there really someone for everyone?
Posted: 4/28/2008 7:54:54 AM |
is there really someone for everyone? .....Yes. Don't give up and don't force it upon yourself. It won't happen overnight, but it will happen.....believe it. | |
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| is there really someone for everyone?
Posted: 4/28/2008 7:55:19 AM | One can't say!
It depends a lot on what your life's purpose is, and it's
different for everyone. Hell, I don't even know what mine is!
Maybe you came here to experience loneliness! Don't scoff, it's possible! | |
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| is there really someone for everyone?
Posted: 4/28/2008 8:38:57 AM | sher the OP says:
i've been single for a long time..and i have to admit it gets lonely sometimes :( so i thought i would try this dating site and see what happens..but so far, no luck. i've had my heart broken couple times and it was really hard for me to go thru each day. i'm not into the club/bar scene much so it's hard to meet someone..even some of my friends had set me up with people they know but it never work out :( so..i feel like givin up
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This is so sad, she is missing so much.
Of course being single can be lonely. So what? Being married or with somebody can be lonely too. No person outside yourself is the cure for that lonely feeling. When you figure out that YOU are really O.K. that is a good feeling and you do not depend on being with somebody to keep reminding you.
Then she talks about the bar scene. Well really, if she hasn't figured out yet that the bar scene goes nowhere she is in a rut. She says it is "hard to meet someone." What BS. It is the easiest thing in the world. All you have to do is make yourself visible and vulnerable and approachable. That means being in the right place at the right time and that does NOT mean bars. It means taking chances. It means accepting that you may be rejected. It means going to new places and trying new things.
Any female can learn to be charming and I do mean LEARN. Physical beauty is something you are born with and BTW it can do away. Oh yes, it mostly DOES go away. But charm is NOT inborn, you have to learn it, and it stays with you for life.
Come on, girls - do you think Cleopatra was beautiful? Guess again. She was not. Yet she got two Caesars into her bed by CHARMING them. Then there is Josephine, who had Napoleon totally absorbed with her - and it was with charm, not prettiness.
So get with the program. Life is what you make it. Not what happens to you, what YOU make it for yourself.
Is there really a someone for everyone? The answer is YES, and that is YOU. Take care of that and all the rest falls into place. | |
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| is there really someone for everyone?
Posted: 4/28/2008 8:39:02 AM | There is someone for everyone...you just have to lower your standards...and That doesn't mean settling...it means
They haven't figured it out that giving up something of a lower order, they achieve something of a much higher order. | |
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| is there really someone for everyone?
Posted: 4/28/2008 10:46:20 AM | | Trust me OP, you are not missing anything in the bar/club scenes. I frequent them on the weekends from time to time and it is slim pickins, believe me. Try and join a singles club in your area, or maybe do some community work. Theres always church if you have a certain faith. Next time you are in the supermarket, try ramming a cute guy you are interested in with your cart. I'm still waiting for that one myself lol. | |
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| is there really someone for everyone?
Posted: 4/28/2008 10:57:08 AM | Trust me OP, you are not missing anything in the bar/club scenes. I frequent them on the weekends from time to time and it is slim pickins, believe me. Try and join a singles club in your area, or maybe do some community work. Theres always church if you have a certain faith. Next time you are in the supermarket, try ramming a cute guy you are interested in with your cart. I'm still waiting for that one myself lol.
..........................................................
Another thing that a lot of women overlook is political campaigns. It seems to me mostly men who will get out there and stuff envelopes, make phone calls and knock on doors. Why? If a woman were to join a campaign and hang around the headquarters with people she would be more visible. Nothing is more likely to connect her with somebody than working with him on a campaign they both care about. When the campaign is over, don't you think they will go out together to celebrate or to console each other? This is real life, bars and shows are just escapism and illusion.
Why do women assume that bars are worthwhile? There are so many more interesting places to go, places where more interesting people go.
As for males meeting females, last weekend I was at the new Museum of Contemporary Art on Wilshire Boulevard in L.A., and I just couldn't believe all the beautiful young female art students who had come out of the woodwork to check out the new show. A single young male would have to feel like a kid in a candy store there. That's where they are, guys, they are not in bars or singles clubs.
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| is there really someone for everyone?
Posted: 4/28/2008 11:20:37 AM | | No there is not someone for everyone. The elephant man died alone never knowing romantic love. Saying there is something for everyone is just something people say to comfort others. It's not true at all. | |
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| is there really someone for everyone?
Posted: 4/28/2008 11:32:05 AM | Maybe you came here to experience loneliness! Don't scoff, it's possible!
Now I'm REALLY sad....
All of us deserve to be loved and have love in our lives....why it doesn't happen I don't know, I've never felt it myself, and wish that I had. Yes, I love my kids and they love me and we have a great time, but I'm talking between a man and a woman...I think I deserve to feel that as much as anyone else...and to think that I'd just be here to experience loneliness and being alone.....I don't think that is a happy thought at all, and to me it just says give up....experience it, and then die......oh boy, that gives me something to look forward to. Let the fun begin now. | |
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| is there really someone for everyone?
Posted: 4/28/2008 11:51:25 AM | "All of us deserve to be loved and have love in our lives...."
Nonsense. Life isn't a market transaction. Nobody owes you anything. Deal with it.
"why it doesn't happen I don't know, I've never felt it myself, and wish that I had. Yes, I love my kids and they love me and we have a great time, but I'm talking between a man and a woman..."
Love isn't for GETTING, it's for GIVING. When you GIVE love the getting takes care of itself. Google on Malvina Reynolds' song "Magic Penny" and look at her lyrics. She got it right.
"I think I deserve to feel that as much as anyone else...and to think that I'd just be here to experience loneliness and being alone.....I don't think that is a happy thought at all, and to me it just says give up....experience it, and then die......oh boy, that gives me something to look forward to. Let the fun begin now."
Good grief, such words motivate me to rush out and meet this babe (heavy sarcasm intended). Really, Azlady, do you honestly think the world OWES you happiness? Do you REALLY think that if you can't be happy alone, just plugging a man into the picture is suddenly going to solve all your problems as if he is an appliance from Best Buy?
What kind of man do you think wants to be perceived as an answer to your problem? If you can't figure out how to love yourself exactly as you are, what makes you think some guy is going to see you as loveable? Needy females attract social workers, not lovers. Who taught you to be needy? Somebody messed you up, sister.
When you are good at being you, alone or not, then you will have something to offer others. So long as you think the world OWES you something you will be miserable. Breaking news, this just in: It doesn't owe you a damn thing. | |
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| is there really someone for everyone?
Posted: 4/28/2008 12:07:58 PM | | Yes, there is someone for everyone. I like to think so anyway. Just have to look at the right places and be patient. How long it be's before you find someone there's no time limit. Just be patient, be yourself, go and have fun and you will find the person for you soon enough. | |
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| is there really someone for everyone?
Posted: 4/28/2008 12:25:28 PM | I think so, most definitely. What sucks is when you find out he or she lives in Egypt. Hopefully one of you can afford the plane ride  | |
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