| Dating
Posted: 4/28/2008 2:04:11 PM | I'm finding that dating over 45 is harder then dating at 25, my question is why is that? I mean at this age ud hope people would have some maturity and have a small grasp of what they r looking for but guess what boy am i wrong lol. Personally game playing gets u nothing but players so my contribution to all IF U WANT REAL KEEP IT REAL. Of course i'll warn u, u will make a lot of people mad because i'm finding most people today so far anyway havent got a clue at being real anymore. No ones perfect, so here a thought for today( so far ur way hasnt work so dont close ur mind to something new in life ), ur never too old to try something new.  | |
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Posted: 4/28/2008 2:09:44 PM | A lot of people don't really know who they are or what they want. Just that they want what they want now not later.
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Posted: 4/28/2008 2:52:57 PM | | I disagree with the OP. I don't find dating harder now than when I was 25. And I'm 57. It doesn't seem to have changed that much to me. I don't play games and I'm not interested in someone who does. Looks aren't a priority and neither is a fat checkbook. My main interest was in finding a man I was compatible with, who I was attracted to and he was attracted to me. Someone that I could spend time with doing things we both enjoy and gradually build a strong, loving relationship. That is what my b/f and I are doing. He was the 5th man I went out with on this site and I contacted him first. We love each other and are hoping to build a life together. I met a number of fine, honest, sincere men on this site. I don't know why so many people seem to be having trouble finding someone to date. Perhaps I just was very lucky. Best of luck to all of you also. | |
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Posted: 4/28/2008 4:23:16 PM | | Would someone define dating. Does that mean you just go out on a date, thats all? Who pays? If the guy pays does he figure he will get what he wants? Does it mean that you will go to bed with the guy on the first date? How long do you date before the guy wants to get you in the sack? Dating has changed a lot over the years. Guys don't want to be friends. Any feed back would be nice. | |
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Posted: 4/28/2008 5:01:49 PM |
Would someone define dating.
Dating to me, might not mean what it means to you. How can anyone define it?
Does that mean you just go out on a date, thats all?
It might, then again...it might not.
Who pays?
The man does.
Unless the woman does.
Unless they split the bill.
If the guy pays does he figure he will get what he wants?
Depends on the guy. Some of us might, some of us might not.
Does it mean that you will go to bed with the guy on the first date?
Depends on the woman. Some will, some won't.
How long do you date before the guy wants to get you in the sack?
Some of us will want to rip a woman's clothes off before the first date even starts, some of us will wait.
...until the check comes. (I keeeeed)
Dating has changed a lot over the years.
Not really. People have changed though.
Dating can still be what it always was.
Or what it never really was.
As with anything, it depends on the individual.
What do you want out of it?
Isn't that the more appropriate question?
Hope that helps.
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Posted: 4/28/2008 5:22:53 PM | Dating at 25= many peers are single as well. Little experience. No hurt (or little)
Dating at 45= few peers are single. + bad experiences+Big hurts | |
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Posted: 4/28/2008 8:49:08 PM |
I'm finding that dating over 45 is harder then dating at 25, my question is why is that?
Could it be that some have forgotten the hard parts of dating 20+ years ago ? | |
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Posted: 4/28/2008 10:15:04 PM | If, by "dating," you mean going to meet a nervous, self-conscious, slightly skittish woman you barely know, take her to a movie you both hate, afterwards eat an overpriced, tasteless, badly cooked meal, take her home and lie to each other about "what a great time we had" and "I'll call you?"
Golly no, hadn't noticed any difference. | |
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Posted: 4/29/2008 12:01:00 AM | I'm with rowdy ~~ And I'm a whole bunch older than most of you.
Attitude adjustments work wonders. . . .
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Posted: 4/29/2008 12:17:17 AM | ^^^^^^^^^ I'm with Rowdy and Wooby !!! Are we making teams?
Seriously, when we are young and indestructable we want to try it all and date on a whim because tomorrow is a new day and maybe a new love. Now that we are older and know the pain of fire we hesitate to run off with strangers. But dating can still be fun -- not so much because of new and crazy stunts, but because of interesting people who you can share ideas and relate experiences...and hopefully they'll understand instead of just saying you're weird.
As for the OP: "IF U WANT REAL KEEP IT REAL. Of course i'll warn u, u will make a lot of people mad because i'm finding most people today so far anyway havent got a clue at being real anymore. No ones perfect, so here a thought for today( so far ur way hasnt work so dont close ur mind to something new in life ), ur never too old to try something new."
Um....Can one keep it real if you're trying something new? Dunno about that...and besides....not everyone even wants to keep it real, people have fantasies they want to live, too. | |
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Posted: 4/29/2008 4:33:18 AM | Being the eldest I think I'm the leader of the rowdy , wooby team. lol
Lets call it TEAM GO FOR IT.
I dont find dating hard. I dont talk on e-mail and IM for weeks and weeks if I find someone interesting.
In fact if anything I find dating easier now than when I was in my 20's. Now its not all about the looks, but about the person. | |
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Posted: 4/29/2008 6:21:15 AM | | I could hack a very limited number of dates. If its formal, I am not comfortable with it, and if its a routine, I can do without it. For me, doing something active is fine, ideally meeting someone while doing it, so you can be sure they are actually self motivated to participate in the activity. Unfortunately, some of the standard dates include restaurants, which I have had so much of in my life I really don't enjoy, or things where you don't directly interact anyway, live movies and shows. In my younger days these were fine as I had not done it all. Today, I can do a few, but sifting through dozens of women that way is not my thing. | |
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Posted: 4/30/2008 12:40:31 AM | I too find dating so hard after the age of 45....I guess I am not anyone's cup of tea. It is also so much harder on the net but I have known a lot of people who have met on these sites, however I have failed to even get a let's do coffee. I can rarely get a reply to an email I send. Oh well guess I will just have to keep hoping. | |
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Posted: 4/30/2008 3:05:59 AM | I found it difficult just to think about having to date.. again.. after being "off the market" for sooooooo long. When I last dated.. men paid for "dates". When of course.. it was just "dating". Once you were an "official couple".. you shared the load (the bills.. and possibly the bodies). Now? It seems the majority of the men want women to go "dutch" from the first meet on.. and they expect sex anywhere from that first meet.. to the third date.. or the woman is considered frigid. | |
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| Dating
Posted: 4/30/2008 7:58:10 AM |
It seems the majority of the men want women to go "dutch" from the first meet on.
As has been pointed out in other threads, dating is very expensive these days. While I have never gone "dutch" myself, there is no doubt that if you want to date regularly, cash is needed. I would suspect that a lot of guys have the usual collection of demands on their money, like ex-wives, child support, accumulated debts and a personal lifestyle that is somewhat more elaborate than they had in their 20s. They may make more money, but it is soaked up by all these things they did not have to deal with back then. Its probably no surprise that they feel that they should split the bills.
Before I had car payments, mortgages and child related responsibilities I was positively awash with cash to blow on entertaining the ladies. Now things are definitely different.
As to the sex issue, back then there was the pill and no serious diseases. The women were a lot more open than they claim to be today, and definitely not spending a lot of time on the "relationship" issue. So, if one wanted to take an economic view of things, today the costs are relatively much higher, and the probability of a payoff are considerably lower. The obvious strategy is to share the financial risk! | |
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Posted: 4/30/2008 8:47:27 AM | Well.. I did start that post with.. I.. in case that was somehow misunderstood/overlooked.
Yes.. I know I've posted on the other threads about "going dutch" and the "cost of a dinner date".
To assume that the man is/would be.. the only one with bills.. payments.. and child support.. not to mention.. a smaller pay for the same work/job.. would be wrong. Just as.. assuming that any child support a woman might receive covers most of a childs needs. Therefor.. with most women being the primary caregiver of the child/children.. she's spending probably double (if not triple) the amount of the support payment on the children. As far as allimony.. or support.. I know I never received one thin dime. So the full financial burden of caring for myself.. and.. raising my kids.. was all on me.
Understandably.. as time goes on in a "relationship".. sharing the load of the dating costs should occur.. especially once finances themselves are disclosed. If a man makes twice the amount of money I do.. and his bills cover half his money.. I think he could spring for two cups of coffee.. don't you? Considering.. I then would only have half the amount he makes to still pay all my bills from. Hmmmm.. kinda puts a different light on who springs for coffee.. doesn't it?
I'm not sure what serious diseases we have now that weren't "back then".. or.. there just wasn't as much knowledge of deadly STD's then.. as there is now. Not all women were promiscuous and in need of the pill.. which.. btw.. didn't always prevent pregnancys anymore then it did STD's.. and were a very high health risk to some women. I know I wasn't on "the pill".. as I wasn't promiscuous. Now.. dating is somehow being related to economic over-views? So.. maybe.. if the man can't afford to date.. he shouldn't? Or.. at least not expect to get her for a "free" dessert? JMO | |
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Posted: 4/30/2008 9:17:59 AM |
To assume that the man is/would be.. the only one with bills.. payments.. and child support.. not to mention...
Well, I find it truly amazing how you are able to presume all kinds of assumptions about people who you don't even know the slightest thing about. Your comments read like an extract from the feminist drivel from 20+ years ago. All of us, both men and women, have had different life experiences relating to our responsibilities, and mine is certainly different from yours. I seriously doubt if you can find any man in this age group that would claim that sex is, or has been, in his life "free" in any sense of the word. In my own case, its consequences have resulted in bills in the many hundreds of thousands of dollars. Personally, I am happy that it got me a family, but it was never free in the beginning, and certainly not free in the long run. Even in the days of "free love", there were always lots of expenses.
Mostly, however, I find objectionable the idea that somehow a woman participating in sex is somehow a valuable reward that demands payment. Most people (but not all) need a partner to enjoy the physical pleasures, and in my view, a woman's acquiescence is no more valuable than is a man's. Its a very mutual thing, or should be. The idea that a man would pay for sex with a good meal is positively silly. If you want to pay for sex, there are all kinds of options that come with a 100% satisfaction guarantee. Any man approaching "dating" as the route to "free" sex is in need of a serious dose of reality. I doubt that anyone in this age group would ever take that view. | |
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Posted: 4/30/2008 10:03:24 AM | | OP, I'm in the mid thirties and dating doesn't seem like anything. It is mute. It was more simple and fun when younger. It is taken too serious to me. I don't really like the women locally where I just moved. So I'm not going to be dating them. That is why I don't even search locally. They have bad attitudes and it is a major turn off to me. I want to date outside of the country. And I agree that if you want real keep it real. | |
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Posted: 4/30/2008 11:25:25 AM | I dated my ex when I was 15 and after 30 years with the same man found myself single, not knowing how to date.
The first three years alone were difficult.
Now I am having a blast!!!
^^BG^^ | |
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Posted: 4/30/2008 11:48:55 AM | | Loved your profile BG, especially the Connie Francis tune. Used to be one of my favourites when it hit the hit parade, on AM radio, back when....:) | |
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Posted: 4/30/2008 6:13:38 PM | Is it really harder to date or are we all expecting someone to be 'what' or 'wo' we want them to be? Most people say "it just wasn't what I expected" or "you are not what I want"
I realize that when we are over 45 we are supose to know what we want but.....how can you pre req a person? and I think that is what we do........We have molds that we want people to fit in and no one is ever going to fit a mold........MT | |
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Posted: 4/30/2008 6:35:41 PM |
Any man approaching "dating" as the route to "free" sex is in need of a serious dose of reality. I doubt that anyone in this age group would ever take that view.
And you'd be sooooooooooooooo wrong, lol! Luckily for us all, they *are* few and far between (at least for me; but that might be my age cohort. . . ). Iffin you can tell me where to come by them "reality pills" I'd be right grateful. . . .
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Posted: 4/30/2008 6:37:31 PM | No question....dating in this "modern" age is rough....and the older you are....the harder it seems to get....
And the cat is so TIRED of me asking her to introduce me to any Tomcats that she might know, the goldfish swim away when I approach their bowl, and the dog starts to howl....No one and no "thing" wants to hear my tales of dating woe! | |
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Posted: 4/30/2008 7:04:34 PM | "Your comments read like an extract from the feminist drivel from 20+ years ago."
Maybe.. because.. I was alive and fighting for rights to have child-support enforced by law. Drivel? It's exactly that chauvinsitically blase attitude of indifference that gets women so p*ssed-off. As far as women's rights.. the fight still hasn't stopped. Equality in pay for equal work.. still doesn't exist for women in most work environments. You can sit back.. moan and groan about women still fighting for these equalities.. and.. feel  :blah about it.. but then again.. white men never had to fight for any of these rights.. they were a given. I have the feeling.. if the shoe had been placed on the others foot here.. you'd be out fighting the good fight. Different life experiences was exactly my point to you. Mine was obviously "different".
"I would suspect that a lot of guys have the usual collection of demands on their money, like ex-wives, child support, accumulated debts and a personal lifestyle that is somewhat more elaborate than they had in their 20s."
My point of experience to you was.. not only "a lot of the guys" have these responsibilities.. but so do a lot of the women.. and if they are the primary caregivers of the children.. possibly even $$ is required. Going "dutch".. then hurts whom? | |
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