| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 4/28/2008 6:02:05 PM | | When I was younger, in my 20s say, I did used to get approached by men a lot. At times, I felt quite threatened by it and felt as if I couldn't walk down the street without being approached. Remember that in those days we didn't have the same high-profile sexual harassment laws, so the culture was different. I guess it was the same for most women as I know I'm fairly average looking, certainly not a great beauty. I do find that this doesn't happen much any more though. It could be that I am older and just don't have the same appeal, though occasionally a man will go overboard and surprise me. What I was wondering is, are older men more wary of approaching women than they were when they were younger? Are there other factors involved that I'm not aware of? I suspect men take more risks whilst they are younger and still learning what it's all about - maybe spurred on by advice from their mates. Is this the case? Are men really less inclined to take the risk of approaching a woman when they are older or is it just that they are no longer interested? The feedback I'm getting is very confusing. | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 4/28/2008 6:11:43 PM | The only difference I've really noticed, is that at this age, they check out the ring finger of your left hand way, way, way more often.
But hey, I do that first too (okay - second, lol).
hnh
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 4/28/2008 6:22:12 PM | I think they are OP. They seem to be burned out, worn out, just tired.
I tend to make more contact with men, then they do with me. They always tell me they are glad I did...because they wouldn't have.
Seems they have settled into a sort of "this is life, oh well" attitude. | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 4/28/2008 6:42:34 PM |
I do find that this doesn't happen much any more though. It could be that I am older and just don't have the same appeal
Could be? Ya think? Yea, it's you, not them. | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 4/28/2008 6:49:36 PM | ... I have definitely noticed that men seldom approach me...and I'm not sure why...
*hmmm...inconspicuously raises her arms above head....they do guarantee 8 hours of protection.
...maeflowers | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 4/28/2008 7:05:21 PM | These days I tend to try to check out whether I will be accepted or rejected before I approach a woman. I attempt to first observe her body language as to whether she is approachable in general and then , more specifically, by me. A nice smile, a welcoming manner, positive eye contact and a light heartedness are what I seek. I love it when an attractive woman smiles back at me. A smile from a beautiful woman is its own reward! If mutual interest appears to be present I never hesitate to say hello. Even when I am refused a rejoinder I feel I did the right thing by giving it a try.
On the other hand if I am not interested in talking with a woman I avoid eye contact and act preoccupied. | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 4/28/2008 7:11:52 PM | | I agree with simplelady66. I was told by a large number of men that I contacted first, that they were glad I contacted them because they didn't contact women. They said they were tired of getting ignored or treated badly by women, so they gave up trying to make first contact. That's a sad state of affairs. I made first contact with my b/f also and I'm very glad I did. | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 4/28/2008 7:47:36 PM |
They said they were tired of getting ignored or treated badly by women, so they gave up trying to make first contact.
I think that's pretty much 90% of it. It's not your age or how you look. If you just look around when you are in public, you will see all the women who are very, very, plain looking, yet they have kids and husbands in tow. Men will pursue women of any size or age.
The other 10% is location. It could be that you are not in areas frequented by men. If you spend every weekend with your Sex In The City clique watching reruns all night, you are not going to meet any men. You gotta get out there! | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 4/28/2008 8:32:26 PM | The wolf-whistle and construction-worker leer are phenomena that still occur today, but primarily to women under 25. At least, that was the age at which I noticed I wasn't getting it much any more. I dunno if it is relevant that I married at 24. But I do believe that men hit on young women much more frequently in part because young women are inexperienced and don't know how to respond. My daughter was telling me about a guy hitting on her in the park. He had to be 45 if he was a day, and she was 18. After chatting with her for half an hour he kept pestering her for her phone number. She didn't want to see him again, or give him her phone number, but wasn't sure if she had been polite. We had a mom-to-daughter talk about guys hitting on women.
Now the average woman my age, if hit on by a stranger in a park, would know exactly how to brush him off and not worry about whether she was being polite. So which kind of woman do you think the average guy wants to deal with? | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 4/29/2008 2:42:53 AM |
Just out in public many probably think most are taken if not married would be my guess
Exactly! I tend to assume any attractive man my age has simply got to be attached, ring or no ring. | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 4/29/2008 3:34:26 AM | Well I guess I'm to shy I have never had the nerve to do it. I wish I could but a guess it is the fear of rejection I really do not know. God knows that there have been a few I would love to approach and talk with. Dating site seem to make it easier to approach someone I look at it this way what are they going to do stop talking with me. It just makes it easier .
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 4/29/2008 4:31:55 AM | Guys over 40 are sick of getting ignored especially on Fish
I think the reason is the internet dating,
it is very easy to go to the next one if either
of you do not like a word spoken...and the women should
approach the guys and meet for coffee...what have you got to lose... | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 4/29/2008 6:10:53 AM | | I hardly think that "afraid" is the word. Cautious is probably more close to the situation. One problem with a dating site is that there is the expectation that a contact is oriented towards moving towards a date or whatever. Personally, I like to have a pretty good idea of a woman's thoughts, background and likely interests before I think about dates, and that usually requires a bit of conversation. If I want to chat up someone to get a feel for what they are like, it doesn't necessarily mean that I will propose a date. There are also lots of women that I find interesting but would not likely wish to date for various reasons. So, what would be more convenient in some ways would be a chat room that you can develop your relationship within before having the implication of a date hanging over you. | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 4/29/2008 7:45:04 AM | Just out in public many probably think most are taken if not married would be my guess.
I am sorry but I dont agree with your assessment. I think that the most important thing that I find at my age is the baggage. Most women i have met have an incredable amount of baggage and look for someone to unload it on.
I am sorry if you had a bad relationship and were hurt in the process but please remember that I am not him,I didnt do anything to you so please dont compare me with him ok? | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 4/29/2008 8:03:42 AM | ....most of them seem to approach women who are under 30.....trying to recapture their youth, or whatever.....and whether most of them are aware of it or not, the young women (so some have told me), say that it really grosses them out to be approached by a man who wants a sexual relationship with them who could be their FATHER.......
Too many over-40 guys have the "Michael Douglas Syndrome", without having the attributes that attracted Catherine Zeta Jones to him.... | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 4/29/2008 8:35:20 AM | | Or it could be that many young women these days have 'father issues' due to being raised by their moms... definitely lots of lunachicks out there, which is not necessarily always a Bad Thing. | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 4/29/2008 9:28:59 AM | I have been reading a lot of the comments here so I will ad a few of my own. I am over 40 and I am not afraid to approach women. However, I am much more cautious than I have ever been. But I also think a lot of women give off the wrong signals.
One day I over heard a woman talking to her friend about how to spot single guys at the grocery store. She said that if a guy has a grocery list he is married or living with someone. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I am divorced and I live alone.......but I have a grocery list every time I go shopping. Of course I am probably a better cook than most guys. And I know I eat better.
So I think the truth is neither gender really knows what to look for. How can anyone tell who is single or not?
If I am out and I notice woman watching me.....I will go up to her and introduce myself. I think the fact that she was watching me is a pretty good sign that she is single and interested in meeting me. However, without any eye contact the chances of failing are very high. Why take the chance on a woman that isn't showing any signs that she is interested? | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 4/29/2008 12:19:45 PM | | As I was having my annual physical exam a couple of days ago my physician (who knows I am a single man) told me another patient of his had gone out to dinner with his wife at the latest local hotspot/meet/meat market around here. They overheard two late forties - early fifties women talking. One of the women was telling the other she was there "looking for her next ex-husband". This is not a joke. We men have to proceed with great caution to avoid being victimized by financially predatory women these days! | |
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| Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 4/29/2008 12:32:21 PM | | i believe we are whom we are .... and the laws now a days make a play in factor ....BUT hello girl i have a tee shirt that i wore ( my daughter made for me) that says "YES I AM SINGLE ASK ME ALREADY!" you have to be out there and be yourself ! life is like a garden.......you get something ripe and juicey sometimes? and other times? you just have to pull the weeds and compost it lol | |
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