| ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 4/28/2008 9:15:43 PM | i have lost count of how many profiles i have read where ladies say they are now happily dicorced and how wonderful it is to be `free again` and the joys of being`footloose and fancy free`
so heres my question,if this is really true why are they starting dating again if they have never been so happy to be free?
is the reality that now they are divorced they find their ex wasnt so bad after all-at least he was company! | |
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| ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 4/28/2008 9:20:59 PM | | Being divorced and fancy free means they are out in the dating world and free to do as they please .. and explore .. I see just as many guys as women say this and I am happy for them .. life is short stop worrying about the lil things .. | |
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TLC_
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Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 3 | |
| ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 4/28/2008 9:21:22 PM | haybe when they were married, they were with a wife bashing dirtbag,
a cheater, or someone who was as cold as ice and wouldnt show love, compassion and sensativity,
a lady in that position could well be happy to be out of a mariage without romance and or pain.
but i have no idea on the footloose and fancy free side of things. | |
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| ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 4/28/2008 9:32:46 PM | | they are just trying to communicate that they are not damaged or needy. completely ignore the statement. don't talk about it, don't bring it up, don't anything it. It's like kryptonite for Superman. here's the process...you: blah, blah, blah. Her: blah, blah, blah. you: so you're carefree and happily divorced now, huh? [She thinks of why she left her ex and without realizing associates those negative emotions with you - you're dead in the water] her: um, yeah, it was bad...blah, blah, blah | |
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| ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 4/28/2008 9:43:07 PM | | I devorced at 19 and have no regrets and to this day I am single ... Im on here to date or make freinds ... So I can see why other ppl male or female make a point about being free ... Its better than getting married . atleast for me I know it is .., ppl are just happy to be free is all ... and they can date ... | |
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| ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 4/28/2008 9:46:00 PM | I can answer this one. He was needy, whiny, neglectful, suspicious, drunk - the whole rock and roll. I stayed in that marriage thinking I had to give it my best shot. By time we split I was relieved to be away from him. When people asked why I hadn't remarried after 10 yrs my answer was that I had taken the cure.
Being alone is better than being in a bad marriage. That does not mean that I don't want to get to know anyone else and, maybe - just maybe, find that someone that I respect, enjoy and adore for the rest of my life. If it doesn't happen then I'll just become that crazy ol' cat lady scaring the neighborhood kids. | |
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| ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 4/28/2008 10:02:43 PM | | Count me in the happily divorced group! The reality after the divorce is simply this...what was I thinking lol. He's gone, don't miss him, don't think about him, don't care. It's all about learning, finding your true self, moving forward and most importantly closure. | |
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| ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 4/28/2008 10:08:14 PM | | Truth is, going thru a divorce is never easy, even if the relationship was not so good. With that said, it is very nice to cook when you want to, not have to live with constant disappointment (which many of us did) and know what to expect in your day to day life. I am happy to be happy with ME! I am also open to being "happy" with someone else in my life. | |
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| ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 4/28/2008 11:11:07 PM |
i have lost count of how many profiles i have read where ladies say they are now happily dicorced and how wonderful it is to be `free again` and the joys of being`footloose and fancy free`
so heres my question,if this is really true why are they starting dating again if they have never been so happy to be free?
I think I'd just read between the lines and focus on the words "loose" and "free". That's what they're trying to say, once you decode it.
Either that or they feel compelled to put a smiley face on a bad situation in a futile attempt to make it seem better. | |
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| ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 4/28/2008 11:20:30 PM | So let us presume a woman writes "I am miserably divorced and utterly despise my freedom. I would be a nun, but they have too much fun."
Nobody will write this woman but the "penus picture" crowd and she will eagerly reply with tips on mushroom cultivation.
Ugh. | |
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| ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 4/28/2008 11:57:21 PM | | i'm happily divorced because my ex and i get on better than before with no tension and the kids are happy and settled now too. i like having nobody to answer to and being able to do what i want within reason | |
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| ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 4/29/2008 12:17:34 AM | I cannot think for others or say what is on another persons mind when they right that. I can speak for me and how I take it when I see that written. No matter if a man writes it or if a woman writes it, I take it to mean they are happy to be divorced from the person they were married to and looking forward to finding the right person for them. They are single and happy to be out of that relationship. I do not take it to mean they are happy single for the rest of their lives and do not want to really date anyone.
Sometimes we overanalyze little things and take small things too seriously.
~Carrie | |
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| ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 4/29/2008 5:51:03 AM | I've been told I'm the poster child for the happily divorced woman! Every day I wake up without my ex husband's dirty drawers on my living room floor - is a good day!
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| ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 4/29/2008 5:58:47 AM | happily divorced = divorced and happy (and often much happier than when they were married, imo)
being happy doesn't exclude dating, so i don't see where there's a conflict within what they say and what they do, if they're spending time with new people... | |
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| ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 4/29/2008 6:33:56 AM | Oh Hell No!
In my case , I can see now that I was being controlled, from the length of phone calls to the time spent with my family, to who I could be friends with (male friend? HA) to having to go to bed when he did or risk one heck of a fight. SO.. I am happy to be done with him. I have enjoyed being able to re-connect with my friends and family, go to bed when I want to, and sit and talk on the phone for .. however.. long I want to.
Does this mean I don't want to date again? Not in the least. But I now realize the things to look out for. I have set my standards higher and will not compromise them again. | |
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| ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 4/29/2008 7:55:48 AM | Happily divorced..... to me means that we, both my ex husband and I are much happier now that we are divorced. We were making each other miserable and now we are not. I did have a note in my profile about my relationship with my ex because we ended things amicably and in a non agressive way. We are still able to go out with the same crowd and not make people feel uncomfortable. However I was advised against it and removed it.
Anyway, that is my story and while it isn't in my profile, I am happy I am divorced.
Sil | |
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| ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 4/29/2008 7:55:59 AM | its a case of being the person you were when you dated and who he liked ( and vice versa) then him putting restrictions on you for you to fit in with him and his ways. i'm back to being me and liking myself again :)
next time i wont compromise muself to be with someone. also i dont and wont expect anyone to change for me | |
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| ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 4/29/2008 8:56:37 AM | | Why worry about this? Maybe it means they've done a bunch of work on themselves and have put the past behind them. Sounds o.k. to me. | |
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| ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 4/29/2008 8:58:54 AM | Today marks the 6th anniversary of my split with my husband.
Personally, that day and the months following my split were some of the darkest of my life. However, given some time to heal, I can applaude myself for having the courage to leave a miserable, almost abusive, certainly neglective marriage.
I do consider myself much happier than what I was, sadly I'm a bit wiser too. I think true happiness has a bit of naivity and innocence thrown in which I no longer possess.
I definitely consider myself "free again", but I also look forward at my 2nd chance of finding the love I never had with my husband. I have had more fun in the past 6 years than I ever did in the 11 with him. Yes, I've had some "footloose and fancy free" times too. I've had more vacations, more dinners, more dates, more traveling, more hangovers in the past 6 years too. I guess that qualifies as "footloose" behavior.
So, to answer your question, "Yes, I have never been so happy to be free". I would never go back to my ex, not in a million years. I look forward to all that life holds for me! | |
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| ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 4/29/2008 9:04:41 AM | For myself, the quality of my life is much better single. At least I have peace. Yeah sometimes you get lonely, especially when you see happy couples together, and you wonder why you never had that. So yeah, you may be free and content, but there is still part of you that yearns for a partner. It is just human nature. To get to a point where 100% of all of the urges to mate are gone takes alot of work and self growth.
And yes, some women do choose not to date any more because of some really difficult experiences and are happier for it. But it does come with a sense of loss and giving up .
For myself, If I had the choice between going back to my ex or taking a bullet to my brain, I`d take the bullet. That is how bad my marriage was for me. Sheer toture. So why would I want that again? Alot of women are there. But it doesn`t mean we don`t like the companionship of a "nice" man once in a while. | |
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| ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 4/29/2008 9:10:57 AM | At the time, I considered the divorce to be the worst thing that had ever happened to me. One year after the divorce I realized that it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Now, 8 years later when I look at where I am vs where she is (emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually etc) I become grateful for her folly.
So, these people are just telling you they've lived a bad relationship and they're glad they're out and they wont do it again.
Now what you have to do is wait until they remove all references to their divorce, their ex and all the "dont wants" from their profiles because its then that they have healed to a point where you can actually build something meaningful with them. | |
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| ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 4/30/2008 3:32:46 PM | I am a mixed race from Malaysia and working in london as a Chef in the Rest.I am simple person.I dont look for beauty,race,age or colour all I want is sincere,understanding,loyal,kind and simple and inner beauty of the person.Hope that you will reply my mail | |
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