| Would You Travel Hundreds Of Miles For A First Date?
Posted: 6/1/2005 7:59:03 PM | I’m putting this on the Over 30 Board cause . . . well, cause I AM and I know ya’ll have been around the block a few times and will understand that I am not a naïve nimnul, etc.
The premise of this post is: Would you ever go the distance, I mean LONG distance (not drivable in a reasonable interval) for a first face to face? A blind date as it were? Have you ever? Before I give you MY details let me say up front that I am NOT letting the guy pay for the ticket (no beholden sh*t) and I have my own hotel room (which I will not divulge to him until I know he isn’t the reincarnation of Ted Bundy) and when I leave Alabama my roommate will know EVERY contact detail about this fella (true I’d already be dead but hey, the guy would be on the next City Confidential.) Seriously though, I travel ALL the time for my job. Alone. I am extremely cautious.
Anyhoo, I’ve had an ad on a small dating site for mostly Latinos (figured I’d fish in a small but concentrated pond) for a few months now and only ONE that has written me was from Alabama, but he just wasn’t my type. Several have written me from California, gorgeous convict types, lol, just kidding, but one 29 year old stood out, even though he was out of my location and age range. He was so polite and adorable I actually wrote him back (out of about 50 “flirt” messages I have answered two, and one of them I only wrote once.) This fella is so youthful in his correspondence, little smilies and smooches, calls me “dear,” never nasty or sexual, just a very sweet, ego-boosting daily presence for a few weeks now. But I know how internet relationships go, here today gone tomorrow, but he hasn’t flown the coop and we are now talking on the phone. This morning my cell rang and it was him, on his way to work and stuck in the Long Beach traffic. About five minutes in he said, “So, you wanna meet me or not?”
Rapunzel: Wha – well, I didn’t figure on that ever happening.
Marin (his NAME is Marin, SIGH): Yeah, well you didn’t figure I’d call that first time either, but here we are.
We talked in general for awhile, he asked if I’d ever been to Mexico and I said that was my dream in the next two years and he said, “Well, my brother’s two kids are being baptized in early December and the whole family is going to Puerto Vallarta for a big celebration. Would you like to be my date?” Ya’ll have NO idea how much this touched me, ME, who is SO hungry to know about Hispanic culture and family, and here’s this young man inviting me into his life like that. I don’t know if I can go, as our Drama Festival is the first weekend in December, but if I can take the time and it is the second weekend then I just may go! What a dream! He also said he’d take me to All Soul’s Day if I wanted, in November, but I am REALLY doubtful I can take those days, especially if I go to Vegas to see a galpal as planned (he also said he is just four hours from Vegas, hooooo boy!) So at first it was all a lot of talk but no workable plan.
The gyst of this is I finally agreed to just RESEARCH flights for the July 4th long weekend. He was like a kid (well, he IS a kid) saying, “I can take you to the Catalina Islands, and we have great fireworks here and, and, and . . .” He even offered to pay for the flight, but I think I can swing it. I have a big people job now, lol.
So . . . should I go? I REALLY wanna go. Am I crazy? I mean I DID hop a plane to see my Buffalo boyfriend sight unseen lo those many years ago, which ended up lasting three years, many of which were wonderful times. I took a big chance on him, and he was everything he said he was. I’ve talked to this young man for hours and hours, know the names of his brother, local addy stuff, etc. Still, could I end up stuffed in a jalapeno barrel in some Oxnard storage building? LOL. Ewwww, you can tell I watch WAY too much Cold Case Files. Then again I could be scraped, raped, pillaged and swept under a rug tomorrow after margarita night. I’m not sure there is much difference in the chances I take 70 miles from home as opposed to hundreds. We are ALL taking a big chance with this internet stuff. But if I don’t take the chance won’t I always wonder?
Even if it doesn’t work out, WOW, how flattering!
Rapunzel | |
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| Would You Travel Hundreds Of Miles For A First Date?
Posted: 6/1/2005 8:01:16 PM | | I would as long as it was understood that if the attraction wasn't there then there would be at least friendship. And probably only if I could stay a few days. I enjoy traveling so if it didn't work out I could just check that place off as places I have been. | |
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| Would You Travel Hundreds Of Miles For A First Date?
Posted: 6/1/2005 8:15:58 PM | I like ya'll's attitude! I've never been to California and I'm the type that can turn any place into an adventure.
It is sooooo totally a crapshoot isn't it? Whether or not the spark will be there? But this guy is soooo laid back I think he would be fine to just show me the town. That is why I am paying my way. Just one friend visiting another . . . and maybe the recreation will reach new heights, lol. I hope so. Dang, I need that.
Deprived Rapunzel | |
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Shaps
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Joined: 4/23/2005
Msg: 6 | |
| Would You Travel Hundreds Of Miles For A First Date?
Posted: 6/1/2005 8:19:58 PM | | I put a limit on my distance -- say about an 1 and a half anyway. I've gone father before, but it was normally a blow out, so over time I have learned frommy mistakes. Only problem is, I am so damn ugly, the only girls that actually want to talk to me are from out of town | |
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Shaps
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Joined: 4/23/2005
Msg: 9 | |
| Would You Travel Hundreds Of Miles For A First Date?
Posted: 6/1/2005 8:53:11 PM | I didn't go this ugly, it was a gift given to me at birth.
Seriously-- some girl said I looked like Tom Cruise, is my nose that big ?? or did she just want me to go on cam in my undies and dance around lol | |
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| Would You Travel Hundreds Of Miles For A First Date?
Posted: 6/1/2005 9:23:32 PM | Go Go Go if thats what you really feel to do, I know I would even if it was just for the experience and the trip, and as for the raped and pillaged bit well could just as easy happen if you met a guy in a bar or through work or somthing, headcases don't normally declare it up front, besides I am an incurable romantic and would love to know how it works out, keep an open mind and just enjoy the whole experience  | |
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| Would You Travel Hundreds Of Miles For A First Date?
Posted: 6/2/2005 4:24:00 AM | I drove from Phoenix to Los Angeles to go on a date once... but it wasn't exactly a frist date.
I flew from Phoenix to Owensboro, KY for a first meeting, though. I'm a hopeless romantic.
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| Would You Travel Hundreds Of Miles For A First Date?
Posted: 6/5/2005 11:06:15 AM | | I travelled cross country to meet and date a significantly younger woman. It was the best week of my life, but the relationship didn't last. We were both too stubborn to consider moving. | |
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| Would You Travel Hundreds Of Miles For A First Date?
Posted: 6/5/2005 11:19:38 AM | | I would like to see you go out with a girlfriend first to see how it is. This way, if that does not work out, you still can have a good time in cally with your friend. If it does work, then you can go out as planned alone. | |
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longte
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Joined: 10/18/2004
Msg: 16 | |
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| Would You Travel Hundreds Of Miles For A First Date?
Posted: 6/5/2005 5:45:23 PM | | I've had a couple of different experiences with flying to meet someone for the first time. If you've got the cash and the time, and are comfortable with the idea of a potential long-distance relationship, why not? | |
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| Would You Travel Hundreds Of Miles For A First Date?
Posted: 6/5/2005 6:01:51 PM | There must be a ton of chemistry from messaging, emailing and talking on the phone. I would also go without any expectations, more like getting to know a friend. I would also have to belive that there was a pontential future, as in one of us is ready to move.
But if I felt like that and I saw the potentional future, yes I'll go. Sometimes it is worth taking a chance in life and meeting a girl (for me) that I feel a great chemistry with, that is worth taking a chance on. But I think the same rules has to apply meet in public and be ready to fly/drive home at once if something isn't right. | |
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| Would You Travel Hundreds Of Miles For A First Date?
Posted: 6/6/2005 6:39:28 AM | Thanks all who answered. Busy weekend so just now getting a chance to read the rest of the responses. I'm feeling good about this now.
Got my ticket Friday and we are both very excited. Every day Marin asks me, "Now you're not gonna cancel on me are you?" Saturday someone sorta stood me up for a party and I was SO pissed and complained to him on the phone about it, and ever since then he's made it a point to tell me detail by detail what he plans on my arrival, and that in case he has a flat tire or something, he's made arrangements for his brother to pick me up. LOL! It's sweet, as if he thinks I'm gonna get mad at the whole male (Latino) race before July 1 and ditch him.
I figure why not do this, ya know? I have the money and the time, he seems just precious, and I get to see Long Beach and LA! It's funny, the things he asks for are so little boyish. I know 29 isn't little boy but to ME it seems so, and maybe the accent makes him seem more naive, dunno. He wants a souvenir from Alabama and he wanted me to bring my favorite kinds of music. LOL! Most of the older men I've dated would want to know my favorite sexual position but he's talking music. He also wants to stock my hotel room with white zinfandel and rose-scented candles, because I mentioned liking those things. He's a little charmer alright!
Talk soon!
Rapunzel | |
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| Would You Travel Hundreds Of Miles For A First Date?
Posted: 6/6/2005 10:24:17 AM | mm hhmm; yup. (A bachelor) 
I just make sure to covr my bases and cover my a&&..ya know? Asure she will be there to meet me and/or make sure I have the money and resources to not only get myself home and keep myself fed BUT to have a good time in whichever city I may be in. | |
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| Would You Travel Hundreds Of Miles For A First Date?
Posted: 6/6/2005 10:38:10 AM | I would. I don't consider a few hundred miles that much of a distance though. The cottage is a couple hundred miles away and I travel there every weekend in summer if I can. I mean wouldn't you if this was your view out your window?
Like frosty said, you should have money and make sure that both people understand that it's cool if you don't like each other. I would only suggest that you meet in a public place, no matter how much you think you will like someone. That way if you don't click in person, you can each go your separate ways and nobody feels too bad. I would definately have a back up plan if it didn't work out. Like shopping or site seeing, something. | |
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| Would You Travel Hundreds Of Miles For A First Date?
Posted: 6/6/2005 12:51:56 PM | Yah, definitely on the money thing. I travel a lot and always have plenty of room on my credit card for emergencies, keep any cash well hidden and watch my back at all times. I would never EVER go somewhere expecting to be taken care of. That's just foolhardy. No woman should ever put herself in such a vulnerable position, no matter how much she trusts the guy.
I think I'll find plenty to do in Long Beach, even without a car. I can't see us disliking each other so much we separate, though. I'd love his company no matter what. He knows all the hot spots, lol! | |
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