Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Do men's relationships with their mom's reflect how they treat women      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 eastendwoman
Joined: 7/15/2006
Msg: 1
Do men's relationships with their mom's reflect how they treat women romantically?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I'm just wondering here. Most of the men I've met over the years didn't have good relationships with their mom's and then I got the brunt of their pent up anger about it.
So have other women come across this problem?
 WINDSORONT2
Joined: 3/22/2008
Msg: 2
Do men's relationships with their mom's reflect how they treat women romantically?
Posted: 4/30/2008 6:46:33 PM
I only met one that didn't get along with his mother--and ya he did have crazy issues...he told me quite a bit about her--and I thought gee sounds like you...It is hard not to be like your parents...if they weren't good people it would take a lot of someone to separate themselves from their past environment....and be good people. We are a product of our environment. Then we age and should choose to change if repeating something unhealthy.

...although they say in studies that the most important role model in a child's life is the same sex parent....which would be the father in regards to this question.

And I'm also sure men have received the brunt of pent up anger from women and their childhoods and their relationships with their mothers/fathers...

Sooo yes we are affected by our childhoods--but we can choose to change if necessary.
 Lily 13
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 3
Do men's relationships with their mom's reflect how they treat women romantically?
Posted: 4/30/2008 6:56:35 PM
I pay close attention to how a man treats his mother, sister(s) and daughter(s) and their relationship. How a man treats the women that are closest to him is generally a very good indicator of how he will treat you. Is he respectful, does he genuinely admire and value them as people, etc and vice versa? Now I realize there are exceptions. For example there are some mothers that do not deserve their son's respect.
I also pay attention to how he treats waitresses, store clerks, the paper boy....people in general......and pets.
Actions speak much louder than words.
If you have a pattern of being attractive to men with anger problems, you need to figure out why and learn to recognize the red flags which usually show up fairly early in a relationship. Best of luck to you!
 some woman
Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 4
Do men's relationships with their mom's reflect how they treat women romantically?
Posted: 4/30/2008 7:01:05 PM
I definitely think a man's relationship with his mother has an effect on how they feel about and treat their romantic partners.

One of the men I dated had an absentee mother while he was growing up. He has really bad trust issues with women now, many many years later. That translated into his inability to trust me even though I never did anything myself that should have made him feel that way.

One of the men I dated still lived with his parents into middle age. He was used to his mother taking care of him and expected me to do the same. His mother was also a little controlling, so he decided to try to control me because he couldn't be in control of his own life while she was around.

One of my dear friends grew up with a very critical mother and his low self esteem as an adult certainly reflects it. However, he directs his anger and frustration either inward or toward other men. He's very good to the women in his life, but I think perhaps it's because he's afraid of further criticism if he isn't.
 oldsoul
Joined: 3/10/2007
Msg: 5
Do men's relationships with their mom's reflect how they treat women romantically?
Posted: 4/30/2008 7:15:22 PM
I used to think so a very long time ago. When I was much younger and life was still a black and white affair. But then I grew up.

So no, the way a man treats his mother is not always a good indication of the way he will treat women in general.

Some men adore their mother - they may even worship the ground she walks on - but they still may hate women as a whole.

Look it up on the net under misogyny. It's interesting, if not downright frightening and totally depressing.



JMHO

 T474T
Joined: 3/10/2008
Msg: 6
Do men's relationships with their mom's reflect how they treat women romantically?
Posted: 4/30/2008 7:17:43 PM
I think it does. Just dont go for a momma's boy
 john.duke12
Joined: 4/25/2008
Msg: 7
view profile
History
Do men's relationships with their mom's reflect how they treat women romantically?
Posted: 4/30/2008 7:20:30 PM
Yup ... at least if you are Oedipus.
 rivereye
Joined: 2/19/2008
Msg: 8
Do men's relationships with their mom's reflect how they treat women romantically?
Posted: 4/30/2008 7:40:20 PM
OP,
Look at it like this, as an influential male figure in your life, isn't the relationship you had with your father going to influence your outlook on men? Short answer to your question: Well YEAH...
 rowdysheis
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 9
Do men's relationships with their mom's reflect how they treat women romantically?
Posted: 4/30/2008 7:40:53 PM
A man's relationship with his mother is a definite sign of how he will treat other women. A man who has negative feelings toward his mother will nearly always take those feelings out on the woman in his life eventually. I have been married to men who had terrible relationships with their mothers and it became unbearable. Conversely, I have been married to a man who had a wonderful relationship with his mother and he treated me like a queen. I would NEVER again get involved with a man who didn't care a great deal about his mom. In my experience, the negativity he feels towards his mother is reflected on all women and it is impossible to overcome it.
 CSI NY
Joined: 4/26/2008
Msg: 10
Do men's relationships with their mom's reflect how they treat women romantically?
Posted: 4/30/2008 7:47:35 PM
i do think that men's relationship with their mom's do reflect how they treath there women.well my ex have a partial relationship with his mom.while he was younger he was being abused by her along with his other siblings.and thats the same way i was treated by him just the same his mom treated him.
 Lavalette
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 11
view profile
History
Do men's relationships with their mom's reflect how they treat women romantically?
Posted: 4/30/2008 8:07:11 PM
Oh yes it does. If only I believed this when I was dating the last guy. It all came together after we broke up. I can also see it with my own brothers, the ones who are giving it shows thru in there real life, the ones who are momma boys, exspect there women to be there mom. It really does matter in more ways then u can realize. Also if they come from a divorced family, the chances ur relationship will last is also slim, we learn what we see growing up.
 spearheadfish
Joined: 12/29/2007
Msg: 12
Do men's relationships with their mom's reflect how they treat women romantically?
Posted: 5/1/2008 7:12:57 AM
imo ur question formed for topic discussion should have stopped after women instead of romantically because that implies something incestious.After reading ur opening statement I am inclined to say yes but this is on the relationship side only.If someone can't get along with others in their family then it stands to reason their not going to be able to get along with ppl outside their family for long.If a guy is disrespectful to his parents he is going to be disrespectful to u,it stands to reason.If he is disrespectful to his siblings then it stands to reason he will do the same for u.These ppl have been around him since birth and they know him so they should be higher up on his love radar then his g/f right so there u go.I don't mean his wife now ok,that's different.
 DarLite
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 13
view profile
History
Do men's relationships with their mom's reflect how they treat women romantically?
Posted: 5/1/2008 7:17:54 AM
A woman is probably better off checking out his fathers' attitude towards women. If his father is disrespectful...........there is good chance he will be too. Just a thought.
 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 14
view profile
History
Do men's relationships with their mom's reflect how they treat women romantically?
Posted: 5/1/2008 7:20:45 AM
I would think it would have to do with more of how he was raised by both parents, and hie relationship with them!

Its how he would have seen his dad or any other male influence in his life treat his mom.
Children learn by what they see. If there is a healthy stable home life, chances are He would grow to be stable himself and want to be a good provider, and loving person towards anyone special in his life.

I guess the same would go for little girls growing into women.
 life_of_leisure
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 15
view profile
History
Do men's relationships with their mom's reflect how they treat women romantically?
Posted: 5/1/2008 7:23:47 AM
> I used to think so a very long time ago. When I was much younger and life was still a black and white affair.

Yes, men feel they must often traverse a razor thin line between being a "momma's boy" and being a "woman hater" to pass muster. Too much mom, not enough mom... it's just not that simple. In fact, it's so complex a subject that little which is definitive can be said.
 Ross PK
Joined: 3/4/2007
Msg: 16
Do men's relationships with their mom's reflect how they treat women romantically?
Posted: 5/1/2008 7:24:34 AM
What about if a guy doesn't get along with his mum and some of his family because of the way THEY are?
 aprincelyfrog
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 17
Do men's relationships with their mom's reflect how they treat women romantically?
Posted: 5/1/2008 7:25:31 AM
Of course this very sexist thread can be turned around and applied both ways...

Do womens relationships with their fathers affect their ability to be in a healthy relationship with a man? All those abandoned, molested, abused young ladies grow up to be lovers, wives and mothers and there are just as many of those who are masogynistic, lack trust, are controlling etc. etc. etc. And lets not forget all of those Daddy's little Princesses out there... as that is the female version of a momma's boy.


I would think it would have to do with more of how he was raised by both parents, and hie relationship with them!

Again, Rain nails it. There are lots of adults raised by one dysfunctional parent and one stellar parent and these adults have chose to emulate the stellar parent drop the influence of the bad parent.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 18
Do men's relationships with their mom's reflect how they treat women romantically?
Posted: 5/1/2008 7:25:43 AM
I got along really well with my mother. My father treated her like a queen so that was my role model.

Unfortunately, that role model doesn't translate well to the real world. I used to treat women like my father treated my mother and got crapped on constantly. Ah, well.
 shine24
Joined: 6/7/2005
Msg: 19
Do men's relationships with their mom's reflect how they treat women romantically?
Posted: 5/1/2008 7:58:18 AM
Absolutely! Without a doubt. In my case anyway. My last two long term relationships were with men (boys) whom had major resentments towards woman because their mothers were controlling of them and criticized them constantly. The second guy (boy) even had this weird, emotionally intimate relationship with his mother that I witnessed when he was around her. Yuck! He would completely emotionally detach from me and treat her like she was his g/friend/wife. It freaked me out big time the way he would even tenderly talk to her. I tried to point this out to him, but his rage reaction was more than enough for me to say..."See ya!".
Do men's relationships with their mom's reflect how they treat women romantically?
Posted: 5/1/2008 9:42:54 AM
I think boys' relationships with their fathers model how they feel about themselves; boys' relationships with their mothers model how they feel about their romantic relationships as an adult...and vice-versa with girls and women. I don't have scientific evidence just personal experiences.

My ex-wife hated her father, and they both fought with each other all their lives. When he was in the hospital dying of cancer, their last words were angry and spiteful. And over 18 years with her, I seemed to become her Dad in her eyes...she taunted and accused and attacked me constantly, until she finally divorced me.

After the divorce an attempt at a girlfriend crashed and burned. She loved her father, but he died when she was 10 years old. When I suggested to her that we were going to fast and should slow down a bit...she went berserk. And sweet woman turned on me and even wished pain on my daughter so I would suffer for it. She had a fear of abandonment that bordered on the psychotic.

Maybe I over simplify and maybe two examples don't prove anything, but both of my sisters loved our father, and they have been happily married all their lives.
 nogo3
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 21
Do men's relationships with their mom's reflect how they treat women romantically?
Posted: 5/1/2008 9:50:46 AM
who knows and who cares, go ask their mom's

 zopz
Joined: 1/3/2008
Msg: 22
view profile
History
Do men's relationships with their mom's reflect how they treat women romantically?
Posted: 5/1/2008 9:58:34 AM
You can't say it's going to hold true all the time because there are very many good people raised by bad parents that have risen above the influence and despite not having a good relationship with their parent(s) you wouldn't have a clue by how they act.

Relationship with your parents doesn't really say how YOU are. It's not that simple to just say something like that.
 Happily Ever...maybe
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 23
view profile
History
Do men's relationships with their mom's reflect how they treat women romantically?
Posted: 5/1/2008 12:04:38 PM
That's a pretty big Freudian generalization there. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Good parents, bad parents, one good and one bad, it doesn't matter, its all about personal responsibility.
 ~transparent~butterfly
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 24
Do men's relationships with their mom's reflect how they treat women romantically?
Posted: 5/1/2008 2:51:30 PM
I have noticed that it does make a difference. The men that I have encountered who treat their mom poorly and with disrespect usually treat the girlfriend or wife the same way.

The men that I have encountered who have treated their mom well have also treated the wife or girlfriend well.

But that is just my experience.

~tb~
 jerseygirl2007
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 25
view profile
History
Do men's relationships with their mom's reflect how they treat women romantically?
Posted: 5/1/2008 3:25:40 PM
You done your homework. I too, fine that how a man treats the women in his life is exactly how he will treat you. My boyfriend in college, had no respect for his mother, and treated her worst then the family pet. The dog was lucky to get food. After about two months, I had enough. Pay close attention in how he treat waitresses, store clerks, the so on.......
Good luck
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Do men's relationships with their mom's reflect how they treat women romantically?