| Why did he sleep with me if he wasn't attracted to me?
Posted: 5/1/2008 9:21:38 AM | I met a guy here on POF. When we met, his first response, was "wow" you look just like your picture! You are so beautiful, you look so young, you are very attractive etc. The next time we get together at my place, one thing leads to another and we end up sleeping together. He spends the night and tells me the next day after being intimate again, he wants to stay with me in bed all day. I must say, the sex was not good. "He must have thought it was and said,"Oh we are going to have lot's of fun with each other" Each time, it took him forever to become excited and when he did, it was over in 3 seconds. He claimed he gets nervous with new people and once he gets to know someone I would not be able to handle him.  Well, I let him know I have things to do and he needs to leave. After a very passionate kiss he tells me he will call me that evening. He doesn't, so the next day, I send him a note wishing him a happy b-day . His response to me is "I know this sounds bad after what happened recently, but I don't think we are a good match, what are your thoughts? " WTF?  I take a day to respond to this. Then I tell him that if he doesn't think we are a good match, then clearly we are not. Of course I want to know why. He says, you are on here all the time and I don't think that would be good for our relationship. WTF! less than one day and you make that decision?? So my thoughts are that he probably thinks I am a slut because I slept with him on the second date. (Won't make that mistake again!) Still, I am not convinced of his explanation so I write him under another name. Come to find out, he tells my"other personality" that he does not like heavy women and that the last person he was with "me" was heavy and he just is not into that. Eventually I confront him and reveal my identity  and ask WTF he asked me out on a second date and if he is not attracted to heavy women, I asked him, "why did you sleep with me"? He turns it back around and says he would never have slept with me if he thought it wasn't going somewhere. He sticks to his story that I am on the site too much. BTW not true! He says well everytime I sent you a note, you respond right away.. I tell him I am on line all day and get a notice if someone sends me a note and I am a very faithful person. Anyway, he says I really don't like these sites and don't date women here. Mind you he told me the last women he dated he met here. He claims he found her with two men on a surprise visit. They were all fully clothed and dressed up. She would not let him in.. But she is a slut.. yeah right! All women are sluts and he is perfect. So I tell him I can always loose weight, but he will always be himself and that is just sad. I tell him if you think you have competition now, you would not have been able to handle the attention I got when I was in shape. He says," in a very sad voice, LOL.. "I wish I had met you then" "On a happy note, I have lost 10 pounds in the last two weeks.  and he is on here all the time "not dating" lol and I am quite sure trying to mess with other women.
So the question is, why do you think he did this! I gave him no indication on the first date that the second would go the way it did because that was never the plan. BTW he had told me before our first date that if he asked a women out on a second date, he expected them to be exculsive...warning signs that he had issues, but I ignored them anyway | |
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| Why did he sleep with me if he wasn't attracted to me?
Posted: 5/1/2008 9:38:32 AM | you didnt have to type out your life story. he slept with you because he wanted sex, not because he wanted a relationship with you.
you know what? i am really getting tired of reading all these posts from all these dumbass women who always say "i never have sex on the first or second date, but this one time, one thing lead to another...." yeah right!!! you have no one to blame but yourseldf | |
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| Why did he sleep with me if he wasn't attracted to me?
Posted: 5/1/2008 9:50:09 AM | You sound conflicted.
You want a boyfriend. You pick a one-night-stand man.
You want a boyfriend, yet when he states he requires exclusivity, you pretend you're too independent for THAT.
You want a boyfriend, but you pick a man who openly states he doesn't like your body type.
I'm confused as to why YOU slept with HIM in the first place, and why YOU are upset that he is no longer around in the SECOND place (he's a jerk to you, you are better rid of him, non?). Write it off, go on with your life.
PS--He slept with you because he was horny. | |
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| Why did he sleep with me if he wasn't attracted to me?
Posted: 5/1/2008 10:06:53 AM |
he's a dog because she willingly had sex with him??
Actually, yes. He misrepresented himself and his intentions. If he laid it out ahead of time, there would be no confusion.
Now that it is done the only thing that can be done is to learn from it. She isn't a dog for sleeping with him, she made a poor choice... it happens. Lying or misrepresentation to get nookie is never a good thing... male or female. | |
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nogo3
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Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 8 | |
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| Why did he sleep with me if he wasn't attracted to me?
Posted: 5/1/2008 10:21:36 AM | Lying or misrepresentation to get nookie is never a good thing
I met a guy here on POF. When we met, his first response, was "wow" you look just like your picture! You are so beautiful, you look so young, you are very attractive etc. The next time we get together at my place, one thing leads to another and we end up sleeping together.
so where was the lie? that he told her that she looked so beautiful,so young, and so attractive?? no offense, but the OP is an old, single fat woman, that jumped into bed with a man that showed interest in her. and now that he left her, she wants to bash men? give me a break! | |
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| Why did he sleep with me if he wasn't attracted to me?
Posted: 5/1/2008 10:29:42 AM | Ok - I actually took the time to read the entire post. lol And I believe you are "all over the place". Meaning, you say one thing, but then you want an answer(s) to the "whys".
You claim you did not like the sex. Ok then - he does not want to be with you and I doubt you want to be with a man who takes "forever to get excited only to be done in 3 seconds"!!!!
You went out, had sex and the rest is history. Move on..............and if you are going to wonder why a man has sex then you have no business having sex with a man that soon. Mind you, I'm not saying that you shouldn't have or should, but once you go there there is no turning back. You either go for yours and enjoy it or don't bother with regrets and questions.
Most healthy men will take whatever you give them in terms of sex. This you should know by now...................
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| Why did he sleep with me if he wasn't attracted to me?
Posted: 5/1/2008 10:36:48 AM | I think you got your answer from the first post...he slept with you because he wanted sex, not because he wanted a relationship.
Men do not need to find you attractive to have sex with you. They do not need to think you are smart or funny or cute. Sex can actually be equivelent to any of the other bioligical needs they have. The need for sex can be very strong and it has nothing to do with you or what a wonderful person you are. It has nothing to do with their feelings what so ever. Women can be so much different. Men generally do know there is a difference and will use this to achieve an end. There is nothing new there. You never know where you actually stand unless you keep sex out of it. If he is not interested in you he will walk. But, if you provide sex he will take it regardless of what he thinks of you personally. | |
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| Why did he sleep with me if he wasn't attracted to me?
Posted: 5/1/2008 10:40:34 AM |
so where was the lie? that he told her that she looked so beautiful,so young, and so attractive?? no offense, but the OP is an old, single fat woman, that jumped into bed with a man that showed interest in her. and now that he left her, she wants to bash men? give me a break!
After re-reading the original I did misinterpret the information the OP gave. With the info provided there is no indication he mislead... my mistake.
Although, now with your insulting Palipornia... which is pretty tactless IMO.... maybe you are projecting hatred and judgement of your own at the wrong person..........
YOu seem awfully defensive.....
Either way, the OP slept with a man who wanted sex. They both wanted sex or it wouldn't have happened. OP - you can't change someone elses actions or behaviour, only your own. Realize it was a mistake on your part, for the reasons you are upset at yourself and move on.... he has nothing to do with it anymore. | |
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| Why did he sleep with me if he wasn't attracted to me?
Posted: 5/1/2008 10:42:06 AM | | he told you what you wanted to hereto get laid and you fell for it.why do you care why he doesnt want you see he is actually smart he got you befor you got him you plaid the game and lost.so many women like you who get rejected always need to nkow why it is what it is keep your pants on next time. | |
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| Why did he sleep with me if he wasn't attracted to me?
Posted: 5/1/2008 10:54:05 AM | lol, too funny and btw congrat's on the weight loss. I sure hope you are doing this for you and not because of what one guy say's...
You said he sucked in bed anyway so why would you even care? | |
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| Why did he sleep with me if he wasn't attracted to me?
Posted: 5/1/2008 10:54:25 AM | I hate it when OP's delete their profiles after posting!! 
Anyway - Women have to stop blaming men for leaving after they have sex - just after meeting! Try building a relationship before giving it away - if you can't take rejection - or a man who simply wants a wet hole! If you are going to jump into bed before you know someone you have to take all that comes with that - the good - the bad and the ugly! | |
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| Why did he sleep with me if he wasn't attracted to me?
Posted: 5/1/2008 10:59:06 AM | | I'm thinking if this happened to me I would say gee, THAT didn't work out well, for whatever reason and move on, hopefully having gotten something from the experience. Not sure I'd post it in a forum. People are judgemental and that can be almost worse than the horrible experience. | |
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| Why did he sleep with me if he wasn't attracted to me?
Posted: 5/1/2008 11:18:14 AM | well good for you loseing the weight but hey do it for yourself not some dude that was beening a ass... he was in for one thing and one thing only my dear and wow three seconds thats a record....not a good one to bragg about but still.....But beening fair you must of wanted to sleep with him as well it dose take two....and men are like buses there one along every half hour lol...... one man lost is another mans gain....
good luck with yr serach | |
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| Why did he sleep with me if he wasn't attracted to me?
Posted: 5/1/2008 11:28:01 AM | ulooknatme just imagining all you wrote and all the tricks you played really show how frustrating Sex is. Your mind begins to over think everything . You pretend to be another person just to get a guilty verdict or concrete realization of a situation. I don't think it was your size. I just feel he did this to you because he was not ready for your Love. He would have to be pretty cruel and evil to say so many thoughtful things just for Sex. Which Sex honestly in itself is truely overrated. Just look at his next day's performance to see the eminance of that. Plus look at all the time you wasted in order to ??? what did you accomplish again. It was the result of Sex. I am glad you got to unload on here. Bet it still did not help, sorry. I don't belive it was dumb of you to go to bed with him. It is just most people are motivated by Sex. Sex is like a bad infamercial, (not sure I spelled that right) That you see late at night that sticks in your head and when you finally order, pay for it, you get the product in the mail whether its next day delivery or 6-8 weeks it is not as life changing as the advertizing built it up to be.
Just hang in there. It gets better. | |
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| Why did he sleep with me if he wasn't attracted to me?
Posted: 5/1/2008 2:23:14 PM | | If the sex sucked so much then who cares! Guys will sleep with anything. They do not care about size or looks. They tell me in the dark u can't tell. Didn't u know this is a sex site not dating, lol. Guys just want to be with as many as they can. Guys think if they tell u all u want to hear u will jump in bed with them. He probably tell all the women that. Sounds like a loser to me! | |
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| Why did he sleep with me if he wasn't attracted to me?
Posted: 5/1/2008 2:41:03 PM |
I met a guy here on POF. When we met, his first response, was "wow" you look just like your picture! You are so beautiful, you look so young, you are very attractive etc.
OP, that was your first clue ^^^. No man that is actually interested in you would make such overt statements ... because it just tells the woman he doesn't consider himself worthy. Why would a woman be interested in someone who is not worthy. Besides, most women and men want people to be interested in WHO they are not the superficial.
Finally, SEX, doesn't change anything, ever. That does not apply in your case of course, since you didn't have any. :-) | |
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Gators
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Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 25 | |
| Why did he sleep with me if he wasn't attracted to me?
Posted: 5/1/2008 2:51:16 PM | oP .. best to live and learn .
Just because you slept w/ him on the second date doesn't mean you are a slut... women want sex just like guys , it's ok ..to admit it . I slept w/ my ex on the I think third date and spent almost 15 years w/ her so you can't think or let one bad apple ruin the chance to meet someone real . | |
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