|
|
|
|
|
| I am tired of trying
Posted: 5/1/2008 6:55:14 PM | Dear POF
I am tired of trying to find someone,it seems that no one is interested in big or fat people they want a Barbie doll or an hour glass figured person. They seem to forget that after many years of marriage an raising a family and hard work that school girl figure has long been gone from the person. I have a lot of love to offer,if I got out an ran around doing dirty things an not have any feelings for anyone except for myself an what I could get from a man I might just understand it but I'm not like that. I take my marriage vows very seriously. And another thing my picture was deleted an for why I do not know.So now after a lot of thought I am leaving for awhile.Good luck to all of you an God Bless each of you.
Bigfatansassy. | |
|
| I am tired of trying
Posted: 5/1/2008 7:02:45 PM | | My picture was deleted also after almost 6 months..........guess they dont like older women lol dont stress.................. | |
|
| I am tired of trying
Posted: 5/1/2008 7:36:29 PM | | Bah, I'm tired of trying as well, but the end result of giving in isn't an option. Don't seem to matter how one looks or carries themselves. It seems the a good portion on here are expert in pretty near everything. Somewhat like a newscaster who is all-knowing, yet only knows how to read a script. To the one newscaster who can do more, sorry for the insult, eh? | |
|
| I am tired of trying
Posted: 5/1/2008 7:52:40 PM | What people dont understand abou tbeing overwieght is it as a lifetyle issue, its not about appearance all the time......
Overweight people assume that other people are jsut lucky to be healthy and of normal weight, but that is not the case, its about leading an active healthy active lifestyle......
I had a realtionship with a man who was overwieight and didnt feel the appearance was an issue, but during the relationship I realsied it was his lifestyle and choices that led to his condition and not one that suited me at all........
Tired fof trying is not a good frame of mind either, keep going till you succedd make the changes and do whatever is necessary to succedd is a much healthier attitude.....
You have to change your attitude about yourself and your life in order to attract someone into your life.........
You can do it, you may need councilling and support to do it, but dont give up and be postive and see the miracles that can ocur when you change you attitude....... | |
|
| I am tired of trying
Posted: 5/1/2008 8:42:43 PM | some people dont understand that others cant loose weight easly as getting talking to people and working hard some people have a issue with their not wanting to loose weight which happens everyone says you make a choice to be over weight and lazy but some people dont have a say its frusterating to see people saying to basicaly get off their arse and get a good out look on life to get the perfect body its a crock of shit there is nothing wrong with the way people look its just those people who are so shallow they cant look past physical apperance.
personaly i would hate to date a barbie every barbie i know is either a ditz a **** or a user they generaly only look at physical apperance and they act like they are better than the larger of the population | |
|
| I am tired of trying
Posted: 5/1/2008 10:14:56 PM | Okay, First of All change your name to Grand Beauty, or Lovely All Over.
Bring out your sweet sassy side. Now for your health and your kids, make your life healthy, your healthy body will follow. Princess yourself up. You've been caring for the world, as well as, carring the world. Now! Right Now! it is time for you to take back your throne. You are the Queen, Princess, not the Chambermaid. (which there is nothing wrong with being the maid). I guarentee, start caring for you, and you will attract someone who will be attracted to you.
Look in the mirror and Love you, as much as, you do others in your life.
You deserve the Best and it is coming in all forms. Just welcome it in whole heartedly.
With Gratitude!!!
Go Girl | |
|
| I am tired of trying
Posted: 5/1/2008 10:21:07 PM | Shug, you have had so much more than a good portion of us here...A 51 yr marriage to the same man, was it a good marriage?
If it was, then God Bless, and all the wonderful memories you have of that time...I am sorry that you man got called home so soon.
Maybe taking a break is a good thing, because ya know sometimes it isn't about what you look like, but rather how you feel about yourself as a person. Are you happy with who you are on the inside? Have you discovered all the wonderful things there is to know about yourself as a person?
You don't need to be school girl thin, or look like barbie, the fact is sometimes the silver lining we miss is because our souls get lonely...
I hope that you can look inside and discover the wonderful higher YOU, the spirit that doesn't age, and has amazing things to give to others...
I hope you get out and make lots of girl friends, and sew, or have book reading clubs, or play bridge, or take cruises... Perhaps this time is about learning about YOU, you were a pretty young girl to be married, and have been taking care of a lot of people over that length of time...
Maybe you have a a talent you have discovered in this time, and this is Gods way of allowing you that opportunity to expand yourself before it is YOUR time to come home...
Even at 43, I have felt the pangs of being alone, and I have not had a wonderful long marriage, to take pride in... It wasn't that I didn't try, or didn't want it bad enough, it just wasn't something that would work...Takes two people, and in mine there was one married, and one that stood before the preacher, but didn't take marriage as a gift...
However I have charished the time I have gotten to know myself, and to be able to build, rebuild, and rebuild again the person that I am building today... I hope one day it will be my time, but maybe just maybe I won't find the love of my life, and I have to feel ok about it...
Good luck, go find that young girl that has so many things to offer, then when you come back you will know, over weight, skinny, just right...It won't really matter, because the one who does see us for who we are will see us from the inside out...
Namaste, God be with you....KD | |
|
| I am tired of trying
Posted: 5/1/2008 10:51:14 PM | I didnt mean that, Its not about physical appearance at all, and if you read the post you would realise I have spoken about lifestyle difference and attitudes, and your attitude is exactly what I am talking about....
unfortunatley the people with the problem cant see it.......
Their are indeed differences and those differences can make it difficult to have a relationship and understand.....
Barbies vant help the way they look and look out people like you behave towards to them, whos judgemental........ | |
|
| Hope this helps.
Posted: 5/2/2008 3:38:18 AM | I'll try lending my input, Please don't take it the wrong way. I may even be 100% off base as I am from a different generation and what I say may not apply.
1) You are unfortunately experiencing a problem common for your age. The Ratio of men to women is wrong for you. I did a quick search and there are more women then men in your dating pool, National statistics bare this out. It's the same problem I have for my dating range, but in reverse (More men then women). That means you need to be more competitive. That brings me to number 2.
2) The name while cute only stresses a potential negative. Do you think most men see the words "BigFat" as positive or negative? Yes truth can be good, but Coke does not sell it's product by calling itself "over priced High Calorie Sugar water". In the same way you are marketing yourself. "YoungAtHeart", "AlabamaGrandma", "FullOfLove", "LivingforJesus" are just a few I can come up with off the top of my head depending on the sort of man you seek.
3) You list 2 interests. One is your religion, and the other is your family. 80+% of Americans are Christian so that’s not really a big selling point to most men. And most men aren't looking for a woman so they can also meet family and friends. I'm not saying not to list them. Just that those as your ONLY interest are not going to sell you.
What do you do, or would be willing to start doing again. Gardening, Watching Football, Seeing Movies (What sort), Veg and Watch TV, etc.
Look at the profiles of the men who are in your interest range within a 100 miles of you. Find 5-10 interests that apply and add them to your profile.
4) Maybe you have tried this, but if not EMAIL the men. Make the first move. You are in the minority here. You have 2 roses. Send them to some men.
5) Spelling and Grammar. Mine is atrocious and I know it. I try to run it through the computer Spell Checker, though if you are unfamiliar with how that works I understand. I have taken the liberty to spell check your interests and first date and they are posted below. I may have missed a word or two. Please note I changed "living alone" a negative, to "I live on my own and am self sufficient. " What I am GUESSING may be a big positive for your generation.
I hope this helps and If I have offended you in any way, please realize it is unintentional.
Best of luck
About Me
I am white, 68 years old. I married at age 14, was married for over 51 years to the same man, now widowed for over 2. we have 5 kids 17 grands 7 great grands an 1 great great, All of whom I love dearly. I live on my own and am self sufficient.
First Date
Talk over tea, coke or coffee in a nice restaurant or shopping mall or better yet at my home. | |
|
| Hope this helps.
Posted: 5/2/2008 4:18:08 PM | I usually don't post in these forums but I saw this topic and just had to reply.
First of all I want to set the record straight that there are plenty of men that like big(ger) women, me being one of them. I will add to that, that not every man will come out for it because of fear for loss of face among their friends. I find that pretty pathetic but that's besides the point.
What IS the point is that fat (I prefer to call it curves) is beautiful. Period, end of argument.
Then again, the saying goes 'To each his/her own' and this is basically how it has always been. The problem that lies at the heart of some bigger people not feeling pretty is because of the zeitgeist that has been put in place by the corporate media and sustained by its mindless sheep we call society. People nowadays just believe anything they see on TV. And we wonder why some conspiracy theorists say TV is a mind control weapon. Look around you, see what has happened to us. We are told that a size 20 woman is 'ugly' and the thinner the better. I am really sick and tired and very angry about this entire thing. I would just like to scream from atop a mountain that oversees the whole world and scream 'STOP IT!'. I admire bigger women and the fact why I am still single is because there are no bigger women in my area. And the ones that are, either have low confidence and instantly think a guy is playing them or they are trying their hardest to lose weight. Well guess what? Here is a guy that LOVES your curves and LOVES your cute full cheek. That LOVES your rolls of fat under your arms and gets ecstatic because of your moving belly and voluptuous breasts.
Yes I get ridiculed too by people I call friends. They accept it, but they don't understand it. But I'm open about my preference and I wish that for God's sake more men would come out and be open about it. If you have friends that will take you down because of what you like then you seriously have to consider their friend status, because I don't call that friends. The least they can do is accept you for your preference. And remember that each time you give in to them they win and you lose. You lose every time, because in reality you want the curves, you want the rolls, you want the jiggling, you want it all. But you can't have it because you rather stay cool. Right...
Just my two. | |
|
| Hope this helps.
Posted: 5/2/2008 4:41:46 PM | | I just want to say that agree.....many men want the Barbie. And yes the older we get the more difficult the weight is to get off. I disagree that its a lifestyle. I have always struggled with my weight and have had to work much harder than my friends who are thinner than me. I eat better than most of them and follow a very well balanced diet. I workout 4 days a week and it is taking forever to lose this weight. But if a man can not love me for whats inside as well as the outside he isnt worth it. There are men who LOVE bigger woman...i know and I dont have any problems dating good looking, professional men....im still looking for chemistry but romance is NOT hard to find, even as a size 18-20 woman. | |
|
| Hope this helps.
Posted: 5/5/2008 4:16:12 AM | | Well,.. it seems our words made some kind of impact, Hallmark. | |
|
| I am tired of trying
Posted: 5/5/2008 4:28:12 AM | | too all u people out there that think big women are not gorgeous. im a bbw and proud of it.i have a big body, and an even bigger heart. im not the one with the problem,its small minded people that have to upset someone,just to make themselves feel good. since ive put on weight,ive had several comments saying i look amazing ect..but a few really cruel ones aswel.to all u big people out there, dont let small minded people get u down,they aint worth it tc xx | |
|
| |
| Hope this helps.
Posted: 5/5/2008 8:23:08 PM | | It always amuses me that alot of men here my age want a size 6 woman whos 25 instead of a 45 yr old peer whos a size 12....Like they cant handle reality but only the fantasy Barbie doll....I often looked at the "dream girls" they dated who are a size 6 just to see who my so called "competition" was and I am not that impressed...Limited education level, limited interests,often divorced, often smokers, often has low self esteem or has been in a relationship in which her partner treated her poorly....I often outrank them in terms of education, career, ,self esteem, judgement, decision making, interests, intelligence,healthy habits, and ability to try new things....But none of that seems to matter when you are a size 12 woman to these men...I think that shows the mens emotional immaturity..A size 12 is a normal and average size for an an active healthy woman, especially for those over 40...I walk, ride my bike, garden, hike ,do swim aoreobics with my fiancee and I will STILL always be a size 12 so mens peception of a womans activity is often so WRONG..Sad that so many are so brainwashed by the media and MTV while they are the ones missing out on great women here... | |
|
| I am tired of trying
Posted: 5/8/2008 9:21:43 AM | | I so much know what you are talking about. I too, am tired of trying. I have gave up on this site or any dating site. I too am not a small woman. But it is funny, that when you dont post your picture you can get all kind of notices but once your picture comes up then it all stops. I started talking to this guy for about 2 weeks on here. He was all ok until the pictures got switched and he seen how big I was. Then he was history. Then some guy that wasn't all that small himself wrote me first. Things was going ok. We talked for about a month. Switched home phones but then he decided that he didn't want what was in front of him. I am tired of being treated like I am some horrible person because I am not a size 2, blonde, and big chested doll. Why can't bigger people have love? What don't they have the right to have fun and be loved too. Good luck to you. And god bless you as well.. | |
|
| I am tired of trying
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:03:13 PM | I'd tired of searching as well and I'm not overweight or anything.
Dating and being single is a sucky process regardless of your size. | |
|
| I am tired of trying
Posted: 5/10/2008 10:32:59 PM | Thats the problem with ya'll...
You're trying.....
searching.....
looking......
hoping.....
STOP!
go enjoy your life,
good things come when least expected,
you can spend 5 yrs on this site without any success,
5mins after you close your account, you may meet your
soul mate at the corner shop...
You'll never know..... | |
|
| I am tired of trying
Posted: 5/10/2008 11:18:39 PM | I'm inclined to agree that it's how some of the bigger women present themselves, that is the problem. If you think that it's your size that is turning men off, that's your own body image problems creeping up. Some of the most beautiful women I know are large women. Work what you have. Take the time to pamper yourself. Wear something nice, do your hair, get a manicure...whatever it takes for you to realize that you're beautiful as you are. It's your attitude and self-loathing that turns people off. Learn to appreciate yourself, whether you're thin, chubby, blonde, brunette, have perfect skin, freckles, or cellulite! If you love yourself, others will love you too.Once you realize that, the rest will come.
I agree with you yarimelma...some people don't realize that you can't take all of this so seriously. There's still a world and a life out there you have to live. Work on you, and you're bound to find something you weren't even looking for! | |
|
| |
| I am tired of trying
Posted: 5/11/2008 1:04:20 AM | I agree with #18 on this one.
Seems when i dont look, it always fell in my lap, to bad I'm not so observant..
And the no picture issue, a relationship requires attraction, my ex to me was beauty queen, seems i was the only one that saw that in her, everyone else thought i was nuts. Even after she put on 50+lbs she still looked good to me.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, simple as that, and attitude adds to ones beauty...
I got an email on here, it said something to the effect "I guess you wouldn't be interested in....", what hit me was the way it was worded, so negative as if she had no self confidence, she was defeated before she even said hi...
Learn to be happy with yourself and who you are. | |
|
| I am tired of trying
Posted: 5/11/2008 1:20:10 AM | The way I am thinking about this post this morning is:-
If you have been here a while and you are attracting the wrong sort of people or no one at all, why not delete the whole profile, everything and EDIT the whole thing to read as you are and feel today. Winter and Summer meets are so very different, no one wants to walk in the park in mid winter for a first date.
I change my profile and then get messages like new, and change my picture regular, every change of picture brings new people to chat to. We all change everyday, we all change so get changing that profile. And Good Luck 
EDIT: HOW DID THIS TURN INTO ANOTHER WEIGHT ISSUE????
ffs, you can be huge and fit as a horse also be tiny and fit as a horse!
It is about being Fit and Healthy, IT IS NOT ABOUT BEING THIN. This weight issue has been done to death. If you dont like your body mass, then sort it, go dancing, go to keep fit, eat more/or less, BUT STOP WHINGING AND DO IT FOR YOURSELF | |
|
| I am tired of trying
Posted: 5/11/2008 2:36:17 AM | Hi bigfatansassy(not a good nome de plume)(in my opinion.)
Burdens become light,when cheerfully borne.
No man(or woman) was ever too heavy for the woman(or man) who truly loved them. | |
|
| I am tired of trying
Posted: 5/11/2008 5:20:54 AM | [quote="Yarimelma"] ...STOP!
go enjoy your life,
good things come when least expected,
you can spend 5 yrs on this site without any success,
5mins after you close your account, you may meet your
soul mate at the corner shop...
Well said that man! You people who are blaming lack of success on size/age/weight/interests, etc. Don't do it! How can you expect someone to be interested in you when you're so down on yourself all the time? Just take some time away from the site if it's making you feel bad that you're not a "Barbie" clone (Although I have no time for Barbie types either!) and go and do something else for a while. The harder you try on here, the more desperate it makes you look, and nothing scares people away like desperation.
I should know. When I split up with the woman I loved, I realized my mistake and tried soooo hard to get her back. Did it work? Did it bollocks. I just chased her further away and into the arms of someone else. Learn from my mistakes! And don't give up!
"If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got" as the saying goes.
Another thing that gets my goat is people accusing others of being 'shallow' because they don't find large/skinny/whatever/ types attractive. How is that shallow? You're either attracted to a particular physical type or you're not. Personally I'm attracted to tall, dark-haired slim women. But then I'm a tall skinny bloke! I just feel more comfortable that way, that's all. I don't really enjoy having to bend down all the time to talk when I'm out with someone who's average woman height, which is a foot shorter than me.
How can it be wrong or shallow to state a preference? Tell me we're not gonna have political correctness dictating our choice of partners now!  | |
|
| I am tired of trying
Posted: 5/11/2008 5:33:43 AM | Random Unicorn: Koodos to you to be so helpful to OP. VERY refreshing!  | |
|
|
|
Home
login 
