| How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/2/2008 7:14:14 AM | I met with a POF guy last night and things went really well. I suggested next time I buy some drinks to (jokingly) even things out...obviously he bought them. Anyway in a nut shell there was no suggestion from him that he would like to meet up again and I dont know when is the right time to as...or do I ask? I really like him so I dont want to mess things up by looking like I'm a stalker! | |
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| How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/2/2008 7:26:00 AM | Glad to hear your date went well. As I am from the old school,,just wait for him to ask, and if he dosen't, particuarly if you see him on line, just go forward and GO FISH
You are young and pretty, so you are lovely bait Mary | |
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| How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/2/2008 7:33:26 AM | Well,.. if the first date goes really good and I get to stay over, I usually try to start the second date as soon as I wake up.
seriously though, I don't think there's a prescribed time table to enything ESPECIALLY dating & relationships. Just beware of the dumbasses on here that try to sell you a schedule like 'The 3 day wait to respond rule" "never kiss on the first or second date rule", "make him buy you dinner before sex rule", etc., etc. Stupid rules like that usually get you nothing but alone. ..
Just do what you want to, and what feels right for you. If I went out on a date and liked it, I'd be back A.S.A.P... or like above, continue Date-1, Part:2 With you though,..I'd need at least a week's wait. ..swimming that far & back would take time...   | |
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| How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/2/2008 7:35:54 AM | there was no suggestion from him that he would like to meet up again
This one gives me a bit of a mixed message. Seems a little odd that he didn't take the opportunity to see you again when you brought it up, given that the first date went really well. I've found that when guys are interested in seeing me again they either let me know at the end of the date or call soon after the date (same day or following day). He knows you're open to a second date, if he doesn't contact you in (whatever time you feel is reasonable) then move on.
Good luck!
H.A. | |
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| How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/2/2008 7:39:58 AM | I agree with mary don't set your sites on one man. Play the field or fish the pond. Enjoy being single and have some fun. contrary to what a man might tell you they like the chase. Don't make yourself available just because you like him alot.
Never put all your eggs into one basket this is a dating web site so date and no where in the rules of dating does it say, Date only one person at a time.
I understand we as women want to be in love and in a relationship because we like ourselves better that way. But we are complete people without that other person there.
Just have fun you are a beautiful girl you are very good bait. If I was single still I would go and hang out with you, you would be a good man magnet...lol | |
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| How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/2/2008 7:44:17 AM | Perhaps I am too jaded, but if I mentioned a second meeting and he didn't respond, I don't know if I would press the issue.
Still, a few days after the date, there is nothing wrong with a casual email saying how you enjoyed the time together. He can take it from there. | |
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| How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/2/2008 4:30:13 PM | | There is nothing unusual about him not mentioning a second date just yet. Don't contact him in any way - not even a simple hello text. Just carry on with your life as usual (including accepting any other dates you might have). If he is interested he will definitely contact you again, then you can see how full your diary is! It's early days. | |
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| How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/2/2008 4:44:45 PM | | If you're interested and you just sit and wait for him to call, then you're just playing games. Give him a call, see if he's interested in going out again soon (maybe tomorrow since it's Saturday night). If he's interested then he'll say yes (if not for this weekend, then at least next weekend). If he's not interested, then he'll say he can't do it. | |
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| How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/2/2008 4:51:50 PM | Honestly why the waiting head games if you like him, go for him. I think the only way you will scare him if you act like a tard. If yall had THAT much fun no time is too soon. I think you should be able to feel when you had enough. As for him.
OK yeah whole thing is... if he anit cool with seeing you .. do you think it was that important to him anyhow..??? think about it | |
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| How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/2/2008 4:54:38 PM | | I don't think that not calling is playing games at all! If she did call and he said 'yes' just because she pressed him, then he might bottle out, or reluctantly turn up, and give her heart-ache further down the line. Men don't like being cajoled. He is perfectly capable of picking up the phone and giving her a call - and if he is interested, he will do it. | |
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| How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/2/2008 7:45:26 PM | | If you liked him, then try for a second date. Just don't wait around and twiddle your thumbs. That is the worst thing to do and just screws with your mind. | |
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| How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/3/2008 3:13:58 AM |
PretaPorter ::: There is nothing unusual about him not mentioning a second date just yet. Don't contact him in any way - not even a simple hello text. Just carry on with your life as usual (including accepting any other dates you might have). If he is interested he will definitely contact you again, then you can see how full your diary is! It's early days.
Why would you not send a nice message saying "thank you for the date, I had fun (etc...) and wish them a good day.
I think it is bad manners not to say a thank you! | |
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| How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/3/2008 5:23:46 AM | Hey! Thanks everyone! Well I did text to say thanks for the lovely evening and he did reply. I have had a couple of texts from him since saying hi how are u and all that so does this sound promising?
No way am I putting my life on hold just for one person and I will take up offers of other dates if I like them
XXX | |
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| How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/3/2008 5:32:10 AM |
Perhaps I am too jaded, but if I mentioned a second meeting and he didn't respond, I don't know if I would press the issue
This was my first thought as well... but maybe just say "let me know when you'd like to get together again..." and leave it at that. | |
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| How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/3/2008 5:36:56 AM | Dear Missy:
I think you did the right thing....I know that I would have handled it the same way. I have already learned that guys, as well as gals, have insecurities and, the genuine ones often need a bit of encouragement.
Golly, I wish we'd hear from more guys on this...I can't help wondering what actually DOES go on in their minds in a case like this.
Sincerely,
KK | |
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| How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/3/2008 5:41:39 AM | | I wouldn't contact him. Give him some space to think about you and whether he wants another date. If he really likes you he will call. | |
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| How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/3/2008 5:58:13 AM | My honest to goodness answer has to be - You posted this on the site that you met this guy on. I am sure he knows that you are interested in a second date already.
However, if I went out on a date with someone from this site, the LAST thing I would do is run to the forums and ask the masses for advice. It isn't very discreet, and it makes you look not only desperate, but shows a lack of self-esteem and poor judgement in the way you deal with things.
The best way to deal with a 'follow-up' on a date, is to politely #1-call him the next day and tell him "thank you" for the drinks, that you enjoyed your evening out, and would like to do it again (This will let him know you are interested in going out again), #2-send him a polite email telling him that you had a great time, and that you would be interested in going out again. Give him your number if he doesn't already have it, and let him make the next move.
Saying
I suggested next time I buy some drinks to (jokingly) even things out doesn't tell him much if you JOKINGLY said it. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Relationships can't get off to a good start if you start playing head games immediately after the first date. (If it was me that had gone out on a date with someone, then noticed on their profile that they had posted in the forums about it the next day, I would run for the hills as it reeks of immaturity, and the beginning of a major headache)
As always, this is JMO | |
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| How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/3/2008 6:53:03 AM | THis is an advice forum...since when has asking for advice been immature?
When I said it "jokingly" it was within the context of that he insisted on buyin the drinks and wouldn't let me pay. My words were" Next timeI'll have to buy the drinks to even things out a bit."Thats not head games. | |
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| How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/3/2008 7:01:47 AM | | Actually I think your response about the drinks was good, because you told him, by saying 'next time', that you are interested. Now back off. No more text messages. Let him come to you. Many here will regard that as game playing, but it sure works in my experience. As soon as you are not immediately available he will put out an APB on you. And you are smart to keep dating in the meantime! That will send the message that you have a life and you are going to live it regardless of what he does! He will respect you enormously as a result. | |
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| How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/3/2008 7:05:53 AM | Though it doesn't always happen this way, I prefer to end a date with an idea of whether there is interest in a second date. Your invitation to buy the drinks next time was perfect! I'd think that it left him with the idea that you'd like it if there were a "next time." I would think that most men would appreciate knowing where they stand. As someone else posted, it would be great to hear some of the guys' opinions here!
As to pressing further to engineer the second date, I wouldn't. You made your preferences known, and it's up to him to react. It's possible that, if you asked again, he might agree to a follow-up date because out of a sense of obligation, or because he didn't want to hurt your feelings. If he doesn't take the hint and invite you on a second date, I'd gather that he's either not interested in you or not interested in starting down the path to successive dates with the same young woman. Either way, it wouldn't be in your best interest to continue seeing him.
Good luck! | |
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| How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/3/2008 7:30:34 AM | If he doesn't agree to your suggestion to get together again, I am with the others in saying to keep looking and above all-enjoying life. Look at all these fish!  | |
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| How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/3/2008 10:21:15 AM | I had a second date with someone less than 24hrs after our first one and we were trying to plan the next one after that, but previous engagements kept that from happening, for date #3 in less than 48hrs. He called less than 15mins after I left from our first one.  So I don't see any time table as far as when the 2nd date or anything else is; as long as it feels right, then go for it. Then again, we have a lot of things in common, it's strangely weird how many. | |
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| How soon is too soon for a second date?
Posted: 5/3/2008 2:09:21 PM | | Whatever makes sense between you two is the best answer. Relationships have their own dynamic comprised of the two of you equally so work it around from that. If you handle things on a "General rule of thumb" it risks the him becomming "just like everyone else". | |
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