| It's a set up.
Posted: 9/18/2004 7:33:17 PM | It's a set up. i was thinking today why men have so many problums with women and women with men.. lets look to the begining shall we. as babys mom (a women) take care of our every need, cleans us, cooks great meals for us, cleans up after us. were treated like little kings..ok...fast forward to 20s 30sand so on.. ok now were in the dating pool and women are the most beutiful thing on this planet.( i feel that way) now we go out and meet a girl and we start dating them and it gets serious. we living together. flash back to mom. well this girl is nothing like mom? she makes me clean up after myself and i got to work to make her happy and so on... i think were set up. we come in thinking this girl will be like mom and do the things mom did. but it is a realtionship not a mother child thing. are we set up to fail by this?ok that was deep thoughts by jimi. feel free to add your two cents.
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ben76
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Joined: 6/5/2004
Msg: 2 | |
| Re: It's a set up.
Posted: 9/18/2004 7:59:58 PM | | sounds like your a big baby jimi77... I don't want another mother. Can you not whipe your own ass, cook yourself a meal, take the trash out? I don't feel I was mislead by this stuff. Did your mom not make you do chores at home as you got older and make you pickup after yourself? No woman, no matter how _motherly_ they are would care to be with someone who expects them to act like their mother. In reverse here, have you had sex with your mother, or been doing other 'girlfriend' or 'wife' type things with her? I think that just because both mommy and girlfriend has boobs and are female doesn't make them the same. But if you hookup with the right woman, you might get your ass smacked, since you sound like your into that whole motherly love... | |
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| Re: It's a set up.
Posted: 9/18/2004 8:04:59 PM | lol... I was going to say that too.. I mean, my mom was more picky about me cleaning my room than anyone in the world. Me ex-gal could not care less...
But, I think I follow his logic.. ' sort of a sour grapes thing. I guess what bothers me are the ladys that seem to only date the guys with a lot of money. Nothing turns me off faster than a gal that asks too many questions about money issues on a date.. it makes me suspect they might be gold digers. | |
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ben76
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Joined: 6/5/2004
Msg: 4 | |
| Re: It's a set up.
Posted: 9/18/2004 8:23:59 PM | Yeah, I'm not sure money should ever come up... Honestly if I meet a girl who's as poor as dirt and I had money, I wouldn't mind supporting her if she was deserving and past all the other hurdles she had to get through to even be going on a second date with me.... lmao
But I think mearly having a conversation with someone you can pickup on things without needing to go into specifics of money. I mean, asking about a job, what kind of work, etc, can give you some idea without needing to ask about $$$... | |
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| Re: It's a set up.
Posted: 9/18/2004 10:16:26 PM | | well my mom had me cooking my own shit and cleaning up after myseld since i was six..im curious jimi..do you still live with your parents? when i moved out..i already knew how to take care of myself..its not a set up..its life | |
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| Re: It's a set up.
Posted: 9/19/2004 5:32:53 AM | As I was reading jimi's post, I guessed that he was in his 30's from my experience at work. I am an xray tech and most of the whiner's are his age, they are big babies. I thought it funny that it shows in other areas too, not just when trying to get them to drink the damn barium, or position them for an xray. You should hear them when they need a barium enema (well some guys like the tip in their arse).
Anyway, I did do alot for my 2 boys as they were growing, but they did clean their own room, they started doing their own laundry, and fixing themselves something to eat once they hit teenagers. They started loading dishwasher around 10 years old. It is a must for them to learn. By the time they were in their late teens, I stopped cooking all together, I was in college and didnt have the time, plus I knew they could fend for themselves.
I know a 24yo that has never cooked, did laundry. He got all excited recently cause he asked his mother to show him how to cook something, only cause i teased him about it.
You jimi were over-mothered, which I'm sure she did cause she loved you, but it didnt do you any good, now look what you expect. Hey maybe if I was financially supported and didnt have to go out to work, I could be a June Cleaver, umkay Beav? :) | |
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| Re: It's a set up.
Posted: 9/19/2004 5:56:14 AM | Umm jimi, Its called being a man haha. Its not a set up. In my personal expireince when
I am with a guy I do things for him cause I love him. simple. If I dont want to do it the next day for whatever reason, he accepts that cause he loves me. As far as the money thing goes I do get personal early on because I have had losers in the past I have to ask about their work habits, and thier living arrangements because me personally doenst want that kind of man again. I dont want to support him no more than I want him to support me. just my thoughts | |
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| Re: It's a set up.
Posted: 9/19/2004 11:20:24 AM | | kinda sad that a 35 year old like jimi..still expects mommy to do things for him..i was ready to move out by 17 but i didnt till i was 19..and now im still on my own at 21..i was doing all my own thing..doing my own laundry at ten, had a job at 15, buying my own clothes and shoes.. and paying rent at 17..mommy isnt gonna be there forever..and you cant expect women to do everything for you.. | |
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| Re: It's a set up.
Posted: 9/19/2004 11:24:47 AM | | Good for u pakana I taught my son the same. He is in the army now at 17, and doing his own thing. Mom will always be there for him, if not in body, in soul. In a relationship its all about making the other happy to make u happy does that make sense? | |
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| Re: It's a set up.
Posted: 9/19/2004 11:47:33 AM | When I first started dating my ex-hubby...I was so impressed...he had his own house, it was clean etc....little did I know, his mother came to his house every day to cook and clean for him. He could not survive with out a female to look after him. I made sure my boys learned to cook and clean at an early age, figgured my future daughter in laws would love me for it, lol.
My oldest son is dating a girl right now that won't allow him to do anything around the house....it's funny to watch him try to prove to her that he can cook...he is 6 ft 5 she is 5 ft 2...chases him out of the kitchen with a wooden spoon. But at least I know he doesn't NEED a woman, he has the time to 'shop for the RIGHT one'. | |
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jimi77
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Joined: 7/13/2004
Msg: 11 | |
| Re: It's a set up.
Posted: 9/19/2004 12:55:18 PM | | well that might have come out wronge. first let me say i can cook, i do clean, i can repair anything in or on a house from roof to basement. I do all the chores.and i really don't exspect a maid or a mother. and i wasent refering to myself. but the comments i here from women so many times he wants a mother or a maid. in fact the last girl i dated i did her laundry, made her bed everyday and if i got off work early. i would go over to her place and clean it for her because at the time she was working long hours.just to showed i cared and to suprise her. not to mention have some kind of dinner ready. my mother did teach me how to take care of myself. | |
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jimi77
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Joined: 7/13/2004
Msg: 12 | |
| Re: It's a set up.
Posted: 9/19/2004 1:18:14 PM | Hey ben for a guy that hangs out at the donkey ranch i would think you got bigger problums are you really that lonley. do you dress them up to? no i don't live with my parents nor do i fancy my mother (sicko) maybe that is your fanticy. that would never cross my mind. judging from your pic your mom dident teach you how to comb or wash your hair so why should i belive anything else youve said.
maidendg, well first off no i was not over mothered, my mother worked raising 2 boys and we did ALL the house work, and cooked for ourselfs. i have no problums in any of them areas. i was not refering to myself but as i said before to the comments i here over and over again from women on web sights he wants a maid or a mother. in fact there is no way i would let a women do all the work, for one i am far from lazy. two i would feel guilty. second your damn right i would act like a baby if anyone tried to give me an enima. first off your sick if your at a hospital, men typicaly don't go to a hospital inless it is life or death. second i dont want anything shoved up my ass. that is exit only. intresting work you do there. | |
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| Re: It's a set up.
Posted: 9/19/2004 1:45:55 PM | you are right jimi77. Alot of men do expect us to wait on them, or have 'that's women's work' attitudes. Its very refreshing and almost surprising to find a guy who will say, ''hey, we both worked 8 hours today, you wash, I'll dry.''
But since I've never grown out of being a tom-boy, I'm looking for a guy who will cook supper while I change the oil in the car | |
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| Re: It's a set up.
Posted: 9/19/2004 2:08:22 PM | | In some ways my lost wife was kind of like my mother was, I think looking for the good traits of your parents are a good thing in a mate. I am not looking for someone to do chores, I am looking for a woman to take care of me in life. Both my mother and my lost wife never let stuff run out, there was always TP, toothpaste, kleenex, first aid creams, etc. I let them both know how much I appreciated it. At the time it really showed me that she cared for me and about me. Of course now she's gone, my mother died two years ago and my wife left me two months ago. I just get by now, doesn't really matter anymore with my partner. | |
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| Re: It's a set up.
Posted: 9/19/2004 2:10:52 PM | | I did dishes, cleaned the bathroom, she vacuumed and cleaned the rest of the house. We went shopping and did laundry together. It should have been perfect, but something must always come in and destroy something good... | |
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| Re: It's a set up.
Posted: 9/19/2004 2:58:13 PM | well sorry to come to conclusions jimi, I suppose your first post made us assume it was you and you wanted a woman to "take care of you" since you didnt know how.
btw, we do people in as outpatients as well as inpatient, and yes that is the worse part of my job, ewwwww. | |
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| Re: It's a set up.
Posted: 9/19/2004 3:00:21 PM | well sorry to come to conclusions jimi, I suppose your first post made us assume it was you and you wanted a woman to "take care of you" since you didnt know how.
btw, we do people in as outpatients as well as inpatient, and yes that is the worse part of my job, ewwwww.
oops, i fotgot to sign my friend out of my computer! lol | |
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jimi77
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Joined: 7/13/2004
Msg: 18 | |
| Re: It's a set up.
Posted: 9/19/2004 4:49:29 PM | | Maidendg, at least you preforming something to help people and you get paid. why yea it might suck your makeing money, my hats off to you but not my pants LOL. jk. yea rereading my post i did see the fatel flaw in it and how people would think it was me...in actualty... it is my boss i was thinking of and the coments that like i said before i hear women make from time to time about there men. my boss had his mother come over and clean his house for 2 days! i told him arent you embarrassed? and I would NEVER let my mother clean my house, unless i was like crippled and could not do it. he said nope it don't bother me. I called him lazy. | |
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| Re: It's a set up.
Posted: 9/19/2004 5:31:41 PM | I love the cook and clean....good stress relief.
I don't think that I would ever marry someone who wanted to do it all.
I mean, it would be cool if we split the responsibilites evenly...50/50.
I have never thought of a woman as a potential maid or servant.
Mom? Whoa!!! No thank you.
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yna6
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Joined: 5/2/2004
Msg: 20 | |
| Re: It's a set up.
Posted: 9/19/2004 7:52:04 PM | | my place was "clean enough to be healthy, dirty enough to be happy". Now it is clean! WOW.....ok...been told the place wasn't "too bad....considering I was single"....but the place did get a thorough cleaning. Looks "homier" now too, with a few plants and knick-knacks around. Course kidlet and I can't throw things that stick to the walls anymore, or have popcorn fights...but hey....some things do change.... | |
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ben76
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Joined: 6/5/2004
Msg: 21 | |
| Re: It's a set up.
Posted: 9/19/2004 9:29:39 PM | lmao jimi77, you made my day with that comment... Honestly, did you not notice you shot that negative response (or tried to) to me, but no other people got the same treatment even though they all pretty much said the exact same thing in agreement with me??? Do you honestly think that because someone has a favorite animal (as most of us do) that is somehow a problem? And dress up as a donkey? No I'm a human, but don't put it past anyone to dress up as their favorite animal at such an event as a costume party, and Hay!, I'd bet I'd probably make a great a$s and win 1st place at it! But darn, I've never tried that one yet, but it's an idea to work at, maybe I'll get my MOMMY to sew me up a nice costume! I admit, I need her for that, I'm never touched a sewing needle... Actually forget sewing, I want my MOMMY to crochet a donkey costume, so I'm a hit with the older women at the party! Woo hoo, found out how to get me a MAMA! LMAO
While reading you posts, and yeah, your start to this thread, PLUS the fact that you admitted making a 'fatal flaw' and apologizing to everyone except for myself, I have a feeling that you don't have much of an edumacation(sic), and that you have some insecurities when it comes to being around males who you feel inferior to.
Also, for flushing that pickle out your a$s, if you don't want an enema from Maidendg, you could try it yourself by way of cholonics.
I still don't believe your comeback of saying it's not yourself you were talking about, for the plain and simple reason as you kept saying 'we' and 'us' in them, which in my mind includes yourself. If you didn't want to be 'included' in your message, you could have put 'males', 'they', 'them' and other non-self incriminatory words. I think you seen the feedback you got and tried to change your slant on things. Wheres my apology, seeing as you made a 'fatal flaw' in your inital post that got EVERYONE misunderstanding you?
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jimi77
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Joined: 7/13/2004
Msg: 22 | |
| Re: It's a set up.
Posted: 9/19/2004 9:57:56 PM | | ben i will be a man and step up to the plate and say i am sorry. as for my "edumacation" i do tend to type to fast and misspell words. but i have an 3.85 in college. also ben i can sew. not great but i can. | |
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| Re: It's a set up.
Posted: 9/20/2004 6:59:26 AM | | jimi, Ben loves this kind of discussion!!!!! Alot of men do think that way, as well as alot of women. I live in the country, and most of the folks around here believe, the man goes out to work while the wifey stays home cooks cleans and has kids. maybe in about 20 years it will come around here, the modern life haha | |
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silken
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Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 24 | |
| Re: It's a set up.
Posted: 9/20/2004 7:18:58 AM | Ok boys calm down before you lose the "plays well with others" points on your report card. ;)
silken | |
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| Re: It's a set up.
Posted: 9/20/2004 7:27:20 AM | Jimi, for what it's worth, I think everyone ought to cut you a break. As a 45 year old who had a terrible upbringing, I can see that you were attempting to sort of address a societal issue in the way men are brought up. If you wanted to avoid being associated with your hypothetical scenario, you should have avoided the use of "I", "we" and "us," as you know.
(Ben may have a point though. You seem to have cut everyone else a little slack except for him. ;^)
As to your original thesis, I personally would have a hard time agreeing with you because my upbringing was exactly opposite. And in fact, I think it turned out somewhat of a detriment here in my adult life. Indeed, I wish my mom HAD done all that stuff for me, but none of it was there. In fact, I honor what she had to do, but my dad was on disability (home all day - and he was able to do fairly nothing). My mom was a full-time RN. I had to do everything for myself. All I understood was that motherhood was a b****. My dad was pretty mean, my mom was pretty stressed out, and she looked to my brother and I for the kind of emotional support a dad is supposed to give.
I WISH I had the kind of mother you describe. I would probably have had a whole lot more realistic view of women from the start. Now I'm 45, and have only just gotten it straightened out. | |
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