| why is it guys shy away from a girl that has kids?
Posted: 5/2/2008 9:23:36 PM | | i have 2 kids and every guy i come accross seems to be a total jerk when i hell him i have kids. its like there mood totally changes towards me. so why is it guys dont seem to like the younger girls with kids? | |
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| why is it guys shy away from a girl that has kids?
Posted: 5/2/2008 9:37:54 PM | Because having kids by 20 seems a little much?
I don't treat people who have kids any less then people who don't, but I'm really not going to be too into anything more than friends with them because of it. | |
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| why is it guys shy away from a girl that has kids?
Posted: 5/2/2008 9:39:31 PM | | IMO, most guys don't want to deal with the extra time and effort it will take. They also want to have more of your time, and you have less of it with children to take care of. They're thinking of their own selfish wants and needs, so don't view it as a statement about you. I've been around the block(more than) a couple of times, and in my experience, the children are grand, don't get me wrong, but they leave a lot less time(and sometimes money) for other things. | |
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| why is it guys shy away from a girl that has kids?
Posted: 5/2/2008 9:45:03 PM | Most 19 year old males are not looking to get involved (instant family) with someone who has 2 kids that are NOT his. You have to remember that while he may love kids he is probably not interested in settling down (read tied down) for at least another 5 to 10 years and then he will probably want his own children. Your profile says your single but I hope your divorced and both boys have the same father.
Remember the nurturing family thing is a female trait and this is your family. He is probably a lot more interested in party, sports, and/or wild sex thing. Might I suggest you look for your man in a more mature area like church, volunteer organization, etc.
Be very careful online because a lot of players and jerks know you are an easy target. You need to be very careful about the emotional impact a BF/SO will have on your boys and keep them out of the relationship for at least 6 months.
Good luck fishing. | |
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| why is it guys shy away from a girl that has kids?
Posted: 5/2/2008 9:59:24 PM | Guys your age? They aren't ready to be tied down with a family. Or they see it as too much of a potential hassle, even just casual dating or FWB.
Guys my age? Pretty much the same answer. Most of us have done or part to further the species and are done raising kids. Sometimes I enjoy playing with a woman's kids or grandkids, but I don't want to take on the responsibilty of raising any more or being a father figure.
No reason to be a total jerk about it though.
Sorry Hon... Keep looking, there's some guys out there who will take the package deal for the right gal.
Because having kids by 20 seems a little much?
A little much what? Life? Reality? | |
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| why is it guys shy away from a girl that has kids?
Posted: 5/2/2008 10:16:33 PM | Because it's painfully OBVIOUS to these men that you don't understand a THING about BIRTH CONTROL, and nineteen year old STOCK BOYS don't make NEAR the amount to cover the CHILD SUPPORT should they be 'lucky' to father number THREE!!!
Hello!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| why is it guys shy away from a girl that has kids?
Posted: 5/2/2008 10:18:19 PM | Two words: Mamma Drama. 
I just don't see myself personally ever getting romantically involved with a woman who has kids...but I know lots of guys who don't care, so I wouldn't worry if I were you. | |
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| why is it guys shy away from a girl that has kids?
Posted: 5/2/2008 10:22:01 PM | | ok the whole thing about not knowing what birth control it was my husband. yes i am divorced but in the end that wasnt my fault. the man was a cheating pig that left me with 2 kids to take care of while his is leading his happy life with the girl he got pregnant with we were still together and not to mension married. so yes i am a single mother of 2 but it wasnt me who didnt try to keep my family together. | |
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| why is it guys shy away from a girl that has kids?
Posted: 5/2/2008 10:27:47 PM | | Yup...that's pretty much it. Guys don't need the drama and they don't need the attitude either. So why tie themselves down with somebody who has pretty much already told them to f*ck off in her profile if they don't like her style ? Seriously....you're not going to attract many men at all by telling guys to take a hike if they don't want to deal with your stress. You know, it's entirely possible that they might have stress of their own and don't really want to share in yours but would rather split the sum total between the two of you. | |
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| why is it guys shy away from a girl that has kids?
Posted: 5/2/2008 10:29:45 PM |
MSG#1~OP~Sweet Ninnocent wrote:i have 2 kids and every guy i come accross seems to be a total jerk when i hell him i have kids. its like there mood totally changes towards me. so why is it guys dont seem to like the younger girls with kids?
I can't speak for all guys,but I think a majority of younger males can't or won't take responsibility for themselves an maintain a house hold let alone take on the role of a dad and a husband to a woman with kids. More an more I notice young men not getting out on their own and continue to stay living under their parents roof.So if he did grow feelings for a woman with kids then where would they live? In his parents basement? I think that older men might not have as big of an issue with a woman that has kids.For one reason it is more likely that the older guys are more secure in life an have their own home and possibly have a couple empty bedroom to accomodate a woman an her kid(s)
I was wondering if your talking about men in general? Or men in your age gender being rude to you due to you having children?
I'm sure it's tuff raising two children at such a young age. It doesn't help any when people are being rude to you ontop of your other responcibilities. Just because you have 2 children doesn't mean you should have to give up life and just ignore your wants and needs as a woman. Everyone has their needs. | |
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| why is it guys shy away from a girl that has kids?
Posted: 5/2/2008 10:31:33 PM | ^^^ Whoa...easy there tiger.
I wasn't (assuming you were addressing my reply) suggesting anything like that when I said mamma drama. It was just me teasing you. 
For me, my entire family is only "half" related through bloodline because of men entering relationships with women with children.
I seen it from the day I was born how my dad treated me differently than my sister (who has a different dad). It was unfair (don't tell her I acknowledged that haha) and I don't think I'm a big enough man to be any different if I were to have my own kids with a woman who already had children.
Plus ex'es who just leave their SO's tend to be physchotic and controlling...the last and noly time I spent some time with a woman who had children...her man came knocking on the door and start freaking out on me...acusing of being a homewrecker and sleeping with his slutty wife and blah blah blah...I don't want or need that kind of drama.
The situation would have to be carefully analyzed before I entered into any relationship with a woman with children. nuff said.  | |
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| why is it guys shy away from a girl that has kids?
Posted: 5/2/2008 10:31:39 PM |
A little much what? Life? Reality?
Because... kids... just happen...?
I think the single thing would be misleading though, since that doesn't appear to be the case. It at least gives more insight to the fact that you aren't just single and got stuck with kids from sleeping around or something. Yeah, that is an issue for some guys. | |
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| why is it guys shy away from a girl that has kids?
Posted: 5/2/2008 10:35:19 PM | Because it's extra baggiage. Not just the fact that you have kids, but the fact that you had a strong enough relationship with another man (or men) to have them. In most cases, those fathers still linger around as part of the child's life ...and it's more than a man (without children) is willing to deal with ...especially in the early stages of a relationship.
It's not the mans fault, it's just a preference we have while searching for someone we want to be with. Just as some people won't date smokers or drinkers ...some of us prefer women without children.
We're free of those commitments and drama in our own lives, so it's not unfair for us to expect the same in a significant other. | |
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| why is it guys shy away from a girl that has kids?
Posted: 5/2/2008 10:41:42 PM | | ok to clear it up once agian. 1 daddy. I WAS MARRIED. and now divored. he seems to like to be a part time father to my kids and treat his g/f baby better than ours. ya that baby is his to. | |
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| why is it guys shy away from a girl that has kids?
Posted: 5/2/2008 10:43:53 PM | | your outward resentment and animosity toward your ex is enough to turn a man off. obviously you still have strong feelings (albeit negative) toward him ...and that's more than most men are willing to put up with in the early stages of dating. | |
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| why is it guys shy away from a girl that has kids?
Posted: 5/2/2008 10:47:38 PM | | oh yea i want a guy that is a CHEATER! NOT! my kids dont need that. as for feelings. no feelings on my end. maybe negative yes. but given the circumstances anyone in my shoes would have the negaitive feedback about their ex. | |
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| why is it guys shy away from a girl that has kids?
Posted: 5/2/2008 10:59:18 PM | Four of your pics are of your kids....are you trying to find a date or a daddy--I don't mean to be harsh you're so young but you need a wake up clue...
1 very young girl+4 pics of her babies on an internet dating site+desperate for a man=very scary.
and be still my heart--in your profile it says you want children... | |
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| why is it guys shy away from a girl that has kids?
Posted: 5/2/2008 11:06:43 PM |
are you trying to find a date or a daddy
honestly what mother does not like to post pics of their kids. i am not trying to find them a daddy as i stated in my profile they have a daddy.
in your profile it says you want more children
yes later down the road i do want 1 more kid. but thats going to be a ways down the road. | |
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| why is it guys shy away from a girl that has kids?
Posted: 5/2/2008 11:19:56 PM |
i like the pictures you have of your kids, it shows where your heart is
its nice to know that some people dont read into things more that they should. my kids are my world and whoever i date or end up with is going to have to deal with that. i will never put a guy before my kids. | |
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| why is it guys shy away from a girl that has kids?
Posted: 5/2/2008 11:19:56 PM |
MSG#17,Matty Linds wrote:your outward resentment and animosity toward your ex is enough to turn a man off. obviously you still have strong feelings (albeit negative) toward him ...and that's more than most men are willing to put up with in the early stages of dating. Actually Matty I think you like her and after all,, your do have in your profile info saying that you "do" want kids. Maybe you two should get married You two already got the fussing part down 
Oh and another thing.. Lots of women have pictures in their profiles with their kids in them. It's totally normal for a woman to be proud of her kids. It's also putting it right out on the table so there's no hidden surprizes. | |
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