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Posted: 5/3/2008 12:24:45 PM | | If a man in his 20's and a woman in her late 30's fell in love and a job promotion tore them apart why would the man not only not talk to her but refuses to delete her out of his list of contacts even after being asked to over and over. why wont he delete her? is this to say he still loves her and can't or what would it mean? this relationshiop was 4 yrs ago. | |
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Posted: 5/3/2008 12:29:44 PM | I'm guessing it's the woman who got the promotion ?
What's the big deal about deleting her ?
It means that he still loves her but knows it's a hopeless cause.
He's being sentimental about it. | |
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Posted: 5/3/2008 12:32:13 PM | Stop having contact, playing games is no fun.
I sometimes don't delete my exes either because
there might be a reason to have to contact that person
again, you never know. It could be out of feelings that
haven't gone away and maybe subconsciously
hoping there might be another chance, but it's not
for you to worry and you shouldn't hope for anything.
Delete him and you won't have to know whether or not
he has deleted you. Block him. Answer seems obvious. | |
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Posted: 5/3/2008 12:32:25 PM | A lot of people just don't delete old contacts. They put them on block and never think about it, or they cease to care and forget about the old flame's presence. Although this guy may still remember you fondly, I doubt he's pining for you, staring at your name on his computer screen.
I don't think this is something to which you should devote much thought. | |
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Posted: 5/3/2008 12:37:31 PM | | I dont have the heart to delete him and it was him who got the promotion. I told him if he isnt gonna talk to me jsut delete me.. been 4 yrs now of one sided emails and he will not delete me. i cant figure out why unless he still loves me in his heart. but i figure who better to ask what is in the mind of a man ...than a man. he did once out of the blue a yr and half ago email me jsut to tell me that he reads every single thing i write him. so why wont he respond. | |
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Posted: 5/3/2008 12:43:39 PM |
If a man in his 20's and a woman in her late 30's fell in love and a job promotion tore them apart why would the man not only not talk to her but refuses to delete her out of his list of contacts even after being asked to over and over. why wont he delete her? is this to say he still loves her and can't or what would it mean? this relationshiop was 4 yrs ago.
I find this amusing. Not your situation OP, just the way in which things in 2008 are occurring....
People asking for divorces via text msgs.
People won't talk to other people because they aren't on the person's Top 10 list!
People deleting / not deleting contacts...
Circles of Friends
To favorite...or not to favorite.
The woman who went on YouTube to rant about her husband...
All this electronic gadgetry (Don't get me wrong, I love technology) is reprogramming the human response and redefining interaction // communication between all of us.
I like the ease of some forms of communication, but at what point is enough, enough?
I'm not sure I like it. No, in fact...I don't like it.
People are forgetting or refusing to actually communicate.
Right. Anyway...on topic.
I know you say she's asked him to delete her, but has she tried asking him why he won't delete her? I realize that's a novel approach to this, but it might work...
Also, depending on where this contact list is, is it possible for her to remove herself from it? | |
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Posted: 5/3/2008 12:48:15 PM | "I dont have the heart to delete him and it was him who got the promotion. I told him if he isnt gonna talk to me jsut delete me.. been 4 yrs now of one sided emails and he will not delete me. i cant figure out why unless he still loves me in his heart. but i figure who better to ask what is in the mind of a man ...than a man. he did once out of the blue a yr and half ago email me jsut to tell me that he reads every single thing i write him. so why wont he respond."
Find the heart to delete him and get over him. You're letting your insecurities get in the way. Find another love. Plenty of fish in the sea. I know how you feel. But there's not much more that anyone can say that will be of any help except for:
GET THE F*CK OVER IT find someone new. | |
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Posted: 5/3/2008 12:51:13 PM | | I am the she and i have asked him if he dont love me still then why cant he delete me and he does not respond. last response i got out of him was a yr and half ago and all he said was he wnated me to know he reads eveyrting i send. makes me wonder what would be the point in reading them if he wont respond. why did he wnat me to know that if he dont care about me as he once did | |
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Posted: 5/3/2008 12:57:51 PM | | Then believe him! Maybe it's to get you to get the hint that he's purposely ignoring you. | |
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Posted: 5/3/2008 1:01:15 PM |
am the she and i have asked him if he dont love me still then why cant he delete me and he does not respond. last response i got out of him was a yr and half ago and all he said was he wnated me to know he reads eveyrting i send. makes me wonder what would be the point in reading them if he wont respond. why did he wnat me to know that if he dont care about me as he once did
Ok so...
He's not going to tell you why?
This is his behavior.
You can accept it or not accept it.
Do you accept it?
If yes, continue to wonder wtf is going on and being confused.
If no, as aprilrain said...
GET THE F*CK OVER IT...and move on. | |
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Posted: 5/3/2008 1:06:36 PM | | well i am moving on. he did tell me why becuae with his job he is gone sometimes a yr or more at a time. and he didnt wnat me sitting around wasting my life waiting for him. i guess its a kinda deal where he loved me enough to let me go.. to me that is not an acceptable reason. im assuming he does not respond becue he knows it hurts me and he wnats me to move on. but what hurts me is the fact he wont talk to me. he's got it all backwards. I always siad true love wins in the end and maybe i was wrong. but if im wrong , why cant he delete me? It just makes no sense. and if im wrong why did he take the time to email me to let me know he reads eveyrting i send him. | |
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Posted: 5/3/2008 1:16:32 PM | | Oi vay. I give up on you. You're in denial x 100 | |
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Posted: 5/3/2008 1:21:16 PM | | If they were having a relationship and working for the same corporation or organization, it was a bad idea from the start. | |
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Posted: 5/3/2008 1:23:30 PM | | not denial but love. he was everyting to me. my heart , my soul and everyting in between. He was everytihng i could have ever wanted in a man and then some. he definatley made an everlasting impression on me. he is somene i dont know how to forget. then i wonder is there still possibley a chance since he can't find it in his heart to delete me. no actually this man and i never met in person. it was all online. we hit it off from day one like it was meant to be. it is when i wnated to meet in person he shortly there after got a promotion and everything stopped. he lived in california nad me in louisiana. we were very far apart. but had beautiful chats and tear dropping beautiufl emails for a whole yr...never missing a single day. he made sure he wrote me first thing everyday before starting his work day. | |
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Posted: 5/3/2008 1:28:22 PM | | Then you were in love of the thought of him. Personally, I don't believe you can be truly in love with someone you only know through correspondance. You don't get to partake in any flaws or imperfections, fights...way too easy to think you love someone online. | |
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Posted: 5/3/2008 1:32:14 PM | | I loved him unconditionally. it was love becaxue i have never felt the way i felt for him with anyone including any ex i ever had. this man stole my heart and soul. so if he had any flaws i woudl not have cared. his personality and heart was the attraction for me.he was a beautiful person inside and out. ya know i never believed in love by internet without meeting in person either ...until the beautiful day it happend to me. so i do understand why u say that. | |
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Posted: 5/3/2008 1:43:50 PM | to respond or not respond...you were already receiving the advice I would give you, and you aren't accepting it. You say you are moving on, but the fact you still email him says you aren't. It's been 4 yrs of unanswered emails...except for one...which almost seems like a pity reply. Have you seen some of the read/delete threads?? What is the main reason for no response to a well mannered email...no interest. Possibly he enjoys your consistant emails, and enjoys hearing from you but doesn't want to lead you on by replying. Perhaps he's just not as interested as he seemed. It's pretty easy to sound more interested then one really is online...it's all in the receiver's perception.
So you emailed and chatted for 1 (one) year back and forth, and now it's been 4 (four) years of one sided emails, apart from one email over a year and a half ago - and you never even met this person?!?! This is a new version of crazy I have never seen or heard of before in my life (no offence). He's not even leading you on to believe there is going to be anything. He already told you how it was. He shouldn't have to delete or block you, he doesn't have a problem with you sending him emails, YOU NEED (notice I said need, and not should) TO DELETE HIM! Erase any contact information you have of him, completely get rid of it ALL! If you have it memorized, restrain yourself from using it...and then, only then, can you start to move on.
Hell, who knows, maybe he will miss your consistant flood of unresponded to emails, and send you an email asking you what happened? Than you can explain it was finally time for you to move on from this rediculous fantasy you had built up in your mind. But I wouldn't expect him to miss the emails enough to make contact.
If I was him, I would think you were completely nutzo for still emailing me even when I didn't respond, whether I enjoyed reading them or not. You should've been asking yourself this question after 3-6 months of having your emails not responded to. | |
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Posted: 5/3/2008 1:44:25 PM | I don't think you can really love someone you've never met in person. You love the idea of who they are, based on your limited interactions.
You say he got a promotion & broke it off right after you wanted to meet? Maybe he wasn't being completely honest about himself and knew you'd find out if you met in person?
You say if he had any flaws you wouldn't have cared. Hmm. I seem to recall you won't date anyone that isn't white...maybe he isn't white & didn't want you to find out?
Just a thought...
...edit to add...nocatchy is right - you NEED to delete all evidence of this man from your e-mail, so you can't contact him again. That is the easiest way to get over him.
I've had men on here be very surprised because they tell me they aren't interested, then contact me 6 months later & find out that I no longer have their e-mail address, phone, etc. because I DELETE all of that info once a man says he doesn't want contact.
Seriously, I delete all sent/received messages from my e-mail, and erase all call info from my caller ID on the phone. It is as if I never had contact at all - that makes it impossible for me to dwell on what might have been... | |
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Posted: 5/3/2008 2:21:01 PM | | he did love me. his friend even told me what he found by accident which told him that his friend really lvoed me. you see he built a basketball court for the orphange kids and in the corner of the concrete he drew a heart before it dried and inside it read eric and rox forever. so he did love me. but i alreayd knew he did. what has happed with him and I is a very very sad love story. and yes i have no chioce but to move on but it wont be for lack of trying to the best of my ability. as far as deleting him well it seems neither of us can delete the other. which to me says somethign. im just not sure what exaclty. if he would only talk he could tell me himself lol. i know this whole thing sounds crazy but its real and full of feelings. | |
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Posted: 5/3/2008 2:33:18 PM | Kittens... Stalking.... Obsessive...
Did you go out with an NG last night by chance?
Thanks, now we are stuck with all his threads today.... | |
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Posted: 5/3/2008 2:36:53 PM | | well i could answer your question if only I knew what an NG was. however i did not go out last night so i guess the answer is no. | |
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Posted: 5/3/2008 2:38:30 PM | 
You are so cute... NG=Nice Guy
This is why we all love kittens so much.... | |
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Posted: 5/3/2008 2:47:28 PM | | well the answer is no but i am going out with a NG tonight. | |
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Posted: 5/3/2008 2:57:10 PM | am the she and i have asked him if he dont love me still then why cant he delete me and he does not respond. last response i got out of him was a yr and half ago and all he said was he wnated me to know he reads eveyrting i send. makes me wonder what would be the point in reading them if he wont respond. why did he wnat me to know that if he dont care about me as he once did
If he hasn't responded in a year and a half why do you hold hopes for him to still love you? Perhaps your obsession with him is preventing you from finding a new love. He's not responding in hopes that you leave him alone.
Oh my, I just read that you never met the man. It wasn't love at all, it was obsession.
Move on!! | |
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Posted: 5/3/2008 2:57:36 PM | love and the thought of love are two different things totally. You are in love with the idea this guy has given you over your year of correspondance, as he was in love with the idea you gave him. I have fell in love with people on the net before as well, and I thought it was real, until I met them and realized despite what great conversations we had and the 'love' we had for one another it just wasn't going to work out in a LTR.
Alas, I digress (yet again) because some people take in and accept the advice they are given, and some it goes in one eye and out the other.
Good luck either way whatever you decide to do...but as for any relationship, it takes two to make it work, and especially for l/d relationships, it takes two to work very hard to make it work. You are the only one working in this one, good luck  | |
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