| What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 5/3/2008 1:24:26 PM | Well, I can only speak for myself but I have a list in my head of what I look for in a woman. It's not perfect or for everybody...just the same here it goes.....
First, how she treats her family, her parents, or my parent for that matter,says alot to me.
Second, how she treats and reacts to children gives me insite into her tolerance level.
Third, how she treats strangers, like the check out girl, bag boy, the elderly, or a waitress in public.
Fourth, how she treats animals and how they behave around her.
Fifth, how she decorates her house or apartment says worlds about her.
Sixth, how comfortable are we with each other.
Seventh, how respectful are we of each other.
The mutual interest would already be established before any of the above would take place. It's not a test or anything...but it is something a wise woman told me to look
for in a person I wanted to establish a relationship with...
Please feel free to add or voice your opine ! | |
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| What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 5/3/2008 2:04:58 PM | ...I agree with 6 out of the 7....I have a very eclecic style when it comes to decorating which may be very different from yours ....I wouldn't want to think that someone would discount me as a possiblity because I like bold colours and prints. Come check out my bedroom, see what you think haha.
One thing I would like to add to your list is take note of who their friends are. Whar kind of relationship do they have and how long have they maintained the same friends. I have some friendships that go back to early childhood....and most of my friendships I have maintained for 20 years or more. I would be lost without my friends.
...maeflowers | |
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| What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 5/3/2008 2:16:43 PM | Those are reasonable questions to ask about a woman, but I agree with Ankkka that you seem to set a very high standard. Of course many women do the same thing, I am sure. Your list is much too static for me, I look for more dynamic things that are not so easily captured in words.
I would also point out that your list says nothing about a relationship with such a woman. My answer to your question would contain none of your items, but would mention things like communication, mutual respect, affection, problem-solving and the like.
Long ago I rode motorcycles and I soon learned that the way they looked had little to do with the way they rode. I am little interested in how a lady matches up to lists like yours, a lot more interested to how she "rides" through the time we spend together. | |
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| What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 5/3/2008 2:27:30 PM | I will decipher:
Must not be female living on Mars:
Means she is truly female and emotionally available.
Must not use Narcotics
Means she is emotionally healthy
Must not own an Unregistered Handgun
Means she is stable and responsible/if handgun is registered.
Must not be so familiar with "Uncle Sam" that you're on a first name bases
Means she has an occupation and has income.
Must write One Thousand Word Email if no Picture is Attached ("I", "Me", "My", "Ex", "You", can not compromise more the .01% of the word count)
Means she has imagination or is easily engaged in conversation.
Must write One good Blond Joke if Blond and Has Main Photo of other color
Means she does not take things too seriously.
Must concede One Self Deprecating Joke if your favorite list is out of proportion to your profile verbiage and picture ratio.
Means she has depth beyond beauty w/a side of style in her humor.
Must have one spare set of 1.25 reading glasses in case I misplace mine again.
Means she is prepared to cover my blind side.
Must not have SR-22 insurance or driving restrictions.
Means she is beyond the bar and party scene. | |
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| What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 5/3/2008 2:42:52 PM | Skunk12pu:
Let me start off by saying I’m a little confused. When I read the thread title I thought I understood the question. However, after I read your answer I realized I didn’t. From the way your thread was posted it appeared to me you were asking men over 45 what they were looking for “in a relationship” or from the relationship. But after reading your answer it appears you really wanted to know “what qualities a man over 45 looks for in a woman that he wants to have a serious relationship with”. Please understand it’s not my intent to be critical but I’m sure if I’m confused others will be too. Having said all of that … since I was intrigued by your thread title when I read it, I’d like to present what I am “looking for in a relationship”.
Companionship. When you are over the age of 45 you’ve probably had at least 1 serious relationship & hopefully learned a thing or 2. One valuable lesson I learned was that I’m happier when I have someone to share my life with. Any time I experience the highs & the lows in my life I look around for someone to share them with. In my case it probably has a lot o do with the fact that I was married for 30 yrs before my divorce. All I know is I miss sharing the good times & having someone for support during the bad times.
Inner Beauty. By the time we reach age 45 we’ve probably all realized that some of the most attractive people in the world lack the inner beauty to have a successful relationship. How a person looks on the outside is going to change with the yrs, but the inner beauty sonsisting of a strong set of beliefs & values can survive the ages.
Honesty & Trust. In my opinion, nothing has the ability to destroy a successful relationship like the absence of honesty & trust. I think 1 of the wonderful benefits of a relationship is having someone you can talk to about things without wondering if they will understand.
Mutual Respect. Anyone I would consider having a relationship needs to have the same respect for me as I have for her. By the way I think 1 of the keys to mutual respect is 1st having respect for yourself.
Open Communication. From my experience, just about any problem that arises in a relationship can be worked out, as long the lines of communication remain open. Having the strength to express your views & talk about them honestly I think is 1 of the keys to a happy & successful relationship.
So there you’ve got it … my 4 cornerstones for a good relationship or what I look for in a relationship. I hope you don’t mind me taking a liberty & answering your forum question based how I initially read it. By the way, I see a lot of my cornerstones reflected in your initial list of what qualities you are looking for in a lady in order to have a successful relationship. So maybe the 2o questions aren’t all that different … the way you presented it & the way you intended it.
Good luck my friend in your search for someone who posses the qualities you listed.
Gary | |
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| What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 5/3/2008 4:00:30 PM | Re the Opost
"First, how she treats her family, her parents, or my parent for that matter,says alot to me.
Second, how she treats and reacts to children gives me insite into her tolerance level.
Third, how she treats strangers, like the check out girl, bag boy, the elderly, or a waitress in public.
Fourth, how she treats animals and how they behave around her.
Fifth, how she decorates her house or apartment says worlds about her.
Sixth, how comfortable are we with each other.
Seventh, how respectful are we of each other."
To paraphrase Eric Clapton: How she puts on her make up.
When reading the above list I realised that I may be 46 but I think 36 or younger! Ie not muy kind of list. Too much thinking, affairs of the heart do not work this way, IMO at 46 (same as when I was 26)!
Cheers | |
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| What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 5/3/2008 8:11:25 PM |
I like Woobeizer's response, it adds humour and that is always a good thing
+1. A sense of humor and insight are very attractive in my book, and is a definite advantage in life! | |
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| What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 5/3/2008 8:16:23 PM | Perfect memory isn't essential, as long as she remembers the things I forget, and forgets only those things I remember.
Has a spare set of keys and remembers where they are.
Understands the concept of "yes."
"Gets" The Far Side.
Understands that romance fiction is just that- fiction.
Realizes that- yes, in fact, I DO know how to fix this, dang it.
Map reading skills are not mandatory, just the concept that some of us actually can.
Can cope with the fact that men do not, can not, never will understand how a "size three" is larger than a "size six."
If she "borrows" my sweater, I expect it back- this season. | |
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| What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 5/3/2008 11:05:56 PM | I'd remove the thing about how s/he decorated their house or apartment -- that just isn't important to me.
I'd add how generous they are -- with their feelings, time *and* money. I hate cheapness for it's own sake. And I'm not alking about frugality, I'm talking cheapskate.
Must be able to appreciate my strengths, talents and abilities, as I would his -- without feeling threatened or "un-manned." | |
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| What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 5/4/2008 12:24:36 AM | | you got it bang on there mate, if a woman has a little of all that, she is definately worth hanging on too! Gentleness, is also at the top of my list, with loyalty. Not too many ladies i feel have these qualities, but then again i am a man, somehow though, i feel that women from other cultures have a different look on men, than westernised women. In this country i sometimes think its all about clawing your way to the top and is so commercialised. Something goes amiss in that view, well, i guess i'm here to be proven wrong. Good luck in your search........................... western women or foreign. | |
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| What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 5/4/2008 4:21:40 AM |
Well, I can only speak for myself but I have a list in my head of what I look for in a woman. It's not perfect or for everybody...just the same here it goes.....
First, how she treats her family, her parents, or my parent for that matter,says alot to me.
Second, how she treats and reacts to children gives me insite into her tolerance level.
Third, how she treats strangers, like the check out girl, bag boy, the elderly, or a waitress in public.
Fourth, how she treats animals and how they behave around her.
Fifth, how she decorates her house or apartment says worlds about her.
Sixth, how comfortable are we with each other.
Seventh, how respectful are we of each other.
The mutual interest would already be established before any of the above would take place. It's not a test or anything...but it is something a wise woman told me to look
for in a person I wanted to establish a relationship with...
Please feel free to add or voice your opine !
So what's to discuss here?
This is simply info for a profile and should be titled
"My profile isn't working so I'm broadcast posting."
First you're interested in how she treats people(old).... duh yea
Second you're interested in how she treats people(young).... duh yea
Third you're interested in how she treats people(other).... duh yea
Fourth you're interested in how she treats small animals.... duh yea.... I guess you don't care if she will beat a dead horse like this thread.
Fifth, do you need a maid?
Sixth you're interested in how she treats people(you).... duh yea
Seventh ... all ai can say is .... duh yea.
Please feel free to reject any opine you don't like. | |
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| What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 5/4/2008 5:58:54 AM | I like your answers the best, Gary...though I do agree with the ideas posted originally. I look for many of both lists of qualities in my search, too.
All the best to you!
Laura | |
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| What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 5/4/2008 6:20:49 AM | ....and the responses or answers to all of those are different in and for every woman....so it comes down to preference and taste....!
(Just wondering, do you take a check off list with you when you are with her?) | |
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| What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 5/4/2008 6:31:14 AM | | Here is what I look for. I look for a woman who may not necessarily put me first, as I realize that by this age, there are other priorities for most of us. However, I need to rank within the Second or at a minumum Third. I also look for a woman who is not so much into herself, but has a loving heart and will reach out to others, most importantly the man in her life. This is what I am willing to do and I would hope I will be able to find. As I see it, chemistry is important, but even more important are loyalty, integrity and devotion. These qualities will often make up for 100% chemistry which anyone knows is impossible anyway. | |
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