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Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > Looking for some input! I will reward your reviews :D      Mod Threads Home login  
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 Author Thread: Looking for some input! I will reward your reviews :D
 thomasthefinch

Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 1
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Looking for some input! I will reward your reviews :D
Posted: 5/3/2008 2:59:56 PM
Was just wondering if people could give me some pointers on my profile. What to add, take out etc. If you do, I will gladly review yours or leave you a testimonial or something of the like :)

I think I have done ok. I think my photos are pretty nice, and I have told enough about myself but also put a joke in as well.
 LolaMaxwell

Joined: 9/4/2006
Msg: 2
Looking for some input! I will reward your reviews :D
Posted: 5/3/2008 4:16:06 PM
It's good, really good. Made me smile. I just wanted a little more. More in the same vein. Add a more recent anecdote.

Photos are good, you're a cute guy, but you have too many pics of you with pretty girls. And by "too many," I mean "one." That's too many.

I'm intrigued to find out what your idea of a fun date would be. Use the "first date" section to fill us in on what going out with you might be like.

As for my reward, I don't need a profile review or testimonial, but I could use the 20 pounds you promised in your headline.
 thomasthefinch

Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 3
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Looking for some input! I will reward your reviews :D
Posted: 5/3/2008 4:27:51 PM
That's my favourite picture of myself though! :P I'm not photogenic at all.

What kind of anecdote? Something about what I do for my degree or something whimsical etc?
 thomasthefinch

Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 4
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Looking for some input! I will reward your reviews :D
Posted: 5/3/2008 4:29:05 PM
And isn't wanting a little more the whole point :P... dont you want to message me and ask now? lol
 avalanche325

Joined: 4/22/2007
Msg: 5
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Looking for some input! I will reward your reviews :D
Posted: 5/3/2008 4:33:35 PM
I would add a bit of a blurb about what kind of woman you are looking for.
 LolaMaxwell

Joined: 9/4/2006
Msg: 6
Looking for some input! I will reward your reviews :D
Posted: 5/3/2008 9:54:38 PM

And isn't wanting a little more the whole point :P... dont you want to message me and ask now? lol

Hmm, I didn't think of it that way! You might be on to something. Yes, yes I *did* want to write you and get more. And if only I could erase two decades and some change, I would be.

Best of luck to ya!
 The Ace in the Hole

Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 7
Looking for some input! I will reward your reviews :D
Posted: 5/4/2008 12:25:25 AM
Thomas,

I read your profile and let me tell you I had a warm and fuzzy feeling. Although I really heard nothing about who you are or what you are about I get the feeling you are a lot of fun and genuine to a fault. Refreshing! I liked the headline as a challenge is always a good way to get a reader to follow through on your profile. Might I suggest closing out your First Date section with something along the lines of “I don’t have your $20 (can’t figure out how to access the pound symbol on my laptop… I see it but it’s not cooperating!) on my person right this moment as you caught me off-guard so you’ll just have to take a chance on me and claim your prize in person. ;-)”. Just a thought. I’d expand your first date idea too to include a few more ideas. I also like the zoo!

I think you should try and describe who you are as a person and what you offer a potential mate. Try and describe your personality and some personal attributes. Also spend some time writing out what kind of a woman gets you excited. I liked the line about hearing about her life, but the last line of your About Me is brilliant! So simple, so clean, so nice! I love it! Your whole profile makes me think of the Dyson vaccuum commercials. When I try and imagine who you are as a person that is the image I conjure! LOL

You’ve got some good pictures but the problem is they are mostly in the bar. I’d get away from bar pictures as much as possible. And yes, you need to lose the picture with the girls.

As short and quiet as your profile is I like it! But I’m not interested so I don’t count!
 thomasthefinch

Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 8
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Looking for some input! I will reward your reviews :D
Posted: 5/5/2008 8:51:19 AM
Just wanting some more updates! I've put a new default photo up, and deleted some of the old ones. Just wondering what everyone things now.

Thanks.

Thomas
 thomasthefinch

Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 9
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Looking for some input! I will reward your reviews :D
Posted: 5/7/2008 5:49:17 PM
Guys just looking for a tiny but more input!
I really want to make it perfect :D
 The Ace in the Hole

Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 10
Looking for some input! I will reward your reviews :D
Posted: 5/7/2008 8:36:28 PM
We've given you a few pointers and you've not used them. There's nothing else we can really tell you other than to go and look through the Profile Writing Tips at the top of this forum. It's not that we can critique any more than the little we have, because there's nothing in your profile to critique, and what's there is not too shabby! Use the advice given here adn in that thread, and you will be able to mould something genius I think.
 FotoJohn

Joined: 12/14/2007
Msg: 11
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Looking for some input! I will reward your reviews :D
Posted: 5/7/2008 9:09:05 PM
Like everyone else said what you have is really good.

But I wonder about the 'leaving them wanting more' bit. Is there enough there to actually make them want to write you and learn more, or at they going to get a smile out of it and then move on to someone else's profile?

Maybe another section or two with some more details about you wouldn't be a bad thing.
 thomasthefinch

Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 12
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Looking for some input! I will reward your reviews :D
Posted: 5/7/2008 9:28:39 PM
I removed all the bar pictures but one, expanded slighly on my Zoo idea and I'm just struggling to find something to write about who I am as a person, and what I want in a mate.

I have this theory that I shouldn't have to list that I have a good sense of humour, or that I am kind, but rather to have that come through in the way I write about other things. It's a way of bragging about yourself without coming across like you are bragging I suppose.

The potential mate thing is really sticking me though, I can't find a way to word it without making it sound like I am being arrogant or limiting the people that send me a message.

Any suggestions on how to do that?

I also uploaded a new photo, closeup of me smiling.
 OldFashndMntMan

Joined: 6/20/2006
Msg: 13
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Looking for some input! I will reward your reviews :D
Posted: 5/11/2008 8:26:15 AM
Hi Thomas,the answer to this question is: "
I have this theory that I shouldn't have to list that I have a good sense of humour, or that I am kind, but rather to have that come through in the way I write about other things. It's a way of bragging about yourself without coming across like you are bragging I suppose." You are correct,don't tell them you do, show them you do.

"The potential mate thing is really sticking me though, I can't find a way to word it without making it sound like I am being arrogant or limiting the people that send me a message.

This is VERY simple Thomas,theses are NOT bad limits, these are the GOOD LIMITS.
I tend to prefer my ladies to be ------------------------, -----------------------, and------------
Or,Some of the traits I appreciate in a lady are,-----------,------------,and----------
Or I think ------------,---------------,and -------------------, compliment my personality the best.

That or something similar is ALL you need,now put that thinking cap on and come up with those words.

best wishes

OFCB
 bucsgirl

Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 14
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Looking for some input! I will reward your reviews :D
Posted: 5/11/2008 8:34:36 AM
"We've given you a few pointers and you've not used them. There's nothing else we can really tell you other than to go and look through the Profile Writing Tips at the top of this forum."

This isn't really much of a profile at all. Show you've put some work into it before asking for even more help.
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