| How long can I date two women?
Posted: 5/3/2008 3:08:05 PM | I met two great women the same week on a site. I set up dates on successive nights, earlier this week. It turns out that both of these women are absolutely fantastic. They are the nicest women I have ever met in my life and they are both my type. They both have also been hurt multiple times in their lives and I truly would not want to add to that. Even crazier is they both seem to like me. I have follow up dates set with each. I really don't know what to do.
1) Should I tell them?
2) Should I make a choice now on which one I may like more?
3) Should I go out with each one a few more times before deciding?
4) At what point do I start being the bad guy?
I know this sounds juvenile, but I truly have never been in this position before. I have made up my mind not to do anything sexual with either until I am only going out with one of them.
Seriously, help! | |
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| How long can I date two women?
Posted: 5/3/2008 3:16:06 PM | I don't expect the women to agree with me on this, but it's early enough in the process that you really don't have to do anything but continue to date them. I guarantee that at some point within the next couple weeks, one will eliminate herself (not literally) based on information you learn...or one may be in the same dilemma you're in and not choose you. Such is the nature of dating.
Since (it seems from your post) you've only been out once with each, you really don't know enough to do anything else.
You don't owe them an explanation about what you do when you're not with them - as they also may have met/dated others...you're still in the initial stage...
I go with #3. After a while things will progress with one of them more seriously..and you'll know what to do. As long as you're not planning on sleeping with both which would be wrong and unfair to them, you're doing ok. | |
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| How long can I date two women?
Posted: 5/3/2008 3:19:57 PM | The only way to date two women and retain the moral high ground is to procure another penis--whether there's a man attached to it or not is entirely up to you. It's pretty much not sleazy as long as you're not dipping the same wick in different...ink?...wax?...into whatever one dips one's wick.
Unfortunately, you don't decide when you start being the bad guy--the women do. And, basically, you're the bad guy as soon as it appears you've been dishonest or misleading. I get that you're flattered by having two women interested in you, but you're going to have to make a decision sooner, rather than later. Otherwise you're going to risk seeming like a sleaze-bag, which...I don't know...maybe you're not. The longer you let it go, the easier it becomes for you to justify some version of cheating later on down the line--and I don't say that because you're of your situation, or because you're a guy--it's just human nature. | |
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| How long can I date two women?
Posted: 5/3/2008 3:21:38 PM | As long as they both are aware that you are ''dating'' and ''looking'' to see what is out there, then you shouldn't have a problem. After one date, things may look good but in a few weeks, they may not look as great as the first night out with them. I've met plenty of seemingly great guys who turned out to not be so great, that is why you date, talk, and get to know them better.
I myself choose to date just one person at a time and if that doesn't work out, move on. I don't want to juggle men. I used to do it. Some people are competitive and will step up their game if they know they might lose a great catch to someone else. Others though, like me, will take themselves out of the game completely and find someone who wants to spend time with just me. | |
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| How long can I date two women?
Posted: 5/3/2008 3:39:45 PM | | Be up front, say you want to take things slow and the reason why, you have a stake in your own integrity remember, you don't have to act like a sneak which no-one not even yourself will respect. The boom/bust flood/drought thing is a common cycle in life - say you have been looking for Miss Right, and after a long time you have met two. Honesty may not buy you the flavour of the month but at least everyone knows where they stand and they will be relieved at your honesty at some level - because it takes guts and courage at times to be honest. Just don't let them kiss you, because although it means nothing at all to a guy, nothing more than a can of coke, it means a lot more to a woman and you will hurt them very easily by not being honest. The ball is in your court to be a good man with integrity. | |
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| How long can I date two women?
Posted: 5/3/2008 3:42:25 PM | I dont know how you can decide after one date. I'd continue to see them both until you establish true interest with one or the other.
Just be open and honest. Keep your pants on and your hands to yourself and you're good to go, imo. | |
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| How long can I date two women?
Posted: 5/3/2008 5:43:48 PM | The minute one of them starts to ask for exclusive contact, it's the gentlemen thing to do, break it off with the other.
I don't know how you do it, dating more than one woman at a time is to much work, I don't have that kind of free time, I can barely find time for one, nevermind two. 
Although I will agree it's smart business, not putting all your eggs in one basket. | |
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| How long can I date two women?
Posted: 5/3/2008 5:50:08 PM | 1) Should I tell them? no
2) Should I make a choice now on which one I may like more? no
3) Should I go out with each one a few more times before deciding? yes
4) At what point do I start being the bad guy? do you have to be bad?
you don't actually have to decide.
[gasp]
just keep dating both of them & eventually you will figure out which you like more & one of them may decide for you. hey, work it. this situation rarely happens to people, so don't complicate it.
you will probably find out soon enough which of them - or if either of them - interests you enough. if you find one that does more than the other, then try to put off dating the other girl until later. you're a guy, you know how this is done. hey i hate this, but it's realistic. just don't burn your bridges with the second girl... | |
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| How long can I date two women?
Posted: 5/3/2008 6:14:41 PM | | two? you've met TWO that you think are fantastic? i can't imagine! i can't even find one that i think is fantastic. quick.....please share tips on Finding Fantastic. (the male version) | |
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| How long can I date two women?
Posted: 5/3/2008 6:28:45 PM | # 3 and this brilliant piece of advice....
Keep your pants on and your hands to yourself and you're good to go, imo.
That is until you become exclusive with one and then have fun! | |
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| How long can I date two women?
Posted: 5/3/2008 6:36:56 PM | If either of these women had demanded that you be exclusive, you would probably think she was out of bounds. One date does not justify exclusivity. It is acceptable to date as many women as you like until you find one with whom you want a lasting, intimate relationship.
On the other hand, there are many women, myself included, who prefer men who date one woman at a time. If either of the women you are dating holds this preference, you should expect her to view it negatively when she learns you are dating someone else. Be prepared for that. On the other hand, perhaps you will quickly learn which of the two is the woman for you, and the issue will take care of itself.
It's possible that neither is the woman for you, in which case you will be glad that you didn't take yourself off the market too quickly. | |
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| How long can I date two women?
Posted: 5/3/2008 6:56:28 PM | | Just be open and honest - if they both agree to continue dating you until you make someone exclusive - all is ok! Dating is just that - dating! It's not an exclusive relationship! | |
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| How long can I date two women?
Posted: 5/3/2008 7:28:43 PM | | I'm with most posters - be HONEST with them and let them know you are dating others. There is nothing wrong with that in the early stages of getting to know one another. This way if they receive other offers, they may want to date others too until sure of who they prefer. I think the worst is one a person tries to make another believe that they are only seeing one person when it's plainly obvious they are not - they come across as a player and very dishonest. | |
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| How long can I date two women?
Posted: 5/3/2008 7:39:45 PM | | If you met them both on this site,Id say until 5/3/2008 at 6:08 pm which is when you posted this thread.O:)...In all seriousness though,I think youve made a wise choice not to become physically involved with either of them until you know for certain which one you would like to date exclusively.You sound like a genuine and sincere person,who really enjoys the company of both women.To me,if there is no physical intimacy with either woman, at this stage youre hanging out with both as friends.I dont think there is any need to say anything to one about the other, unless you decide you want to be exclusive with one of them and things turn a bit more romantic O:). | |
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| How long can I date two women?
Posted: 5/3/2008 7:45:58 PM | Like the OP said. I bet they read the forums, you are gonna be in big trouble and have none
Also, ya better hope they don't look at your profile too soon, your last few posts are on there............lmaooooooooooo | |
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| How long can I date two women?
Posted: 5/3/2008 8:04:35 PM | I bet they read the forums
this is one i'm really puzzling about, that people write about the people they're dating on POF - on the forums.
yeah, how does this work exactly. i'd think they've have an ooops section of the site for people who lost their potential-SOs by talking about them...
appears our lucky OP posted on a different site, but eh, i've been wondering this... | |
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| How long can I date two women?
Posted: 5/3/2008 8:08:14 PM | | How do you know they aren't dating more men than just you??? I'd bet that they are. This online dating thing makes that very easy to do and a lot of people are doing just that. Besides, everyone seems fantastic on the first date. Date them both a few times, by then some red flags should be flying high and then you can choose. If they are dating more men than just you, they're more than likely doin the same thing you are. So go with it and see where it goes............................... | |
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| How long can I date two women?
Posted: 5/3/2008 8:49:17 PM | | As someone else mentioned, there's nothing wrong as long as both women know that nothing exclusive is going on and that you are still looking/dating. It's too soon to give either of them the cold shoulder or dedicate yourself to one of them (it's only been one date after all). Just be honest and hope for the best. A 2nd date with one of them may make a selection easier too, you never know. | |
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| How long can I date two women?
Posted: 5/3/2008 8:50:18 PM | OP - You are treading on dangerous ground there buddy.
NO, do not tell them. You could quite possibly end up with NONE.
Have you lost your mind? ~crosses arms and taps foot and tilts head~
Just figure out (quickly) which one you like better. If you like both
and want to date both, then do not tell them. Unless of course they
just want to casually date too...whatever. We don't know IF they like YOU
or not either.
IF you do that, (date both) that would be a job for the MoronBat. You do NOT
want to meet the MoronBat. Do you? Ok. Good. And do not become a NG poster either. It does not qualify you for Sainthood.
Actually, now I SEE you have met them on POF. ~rolls eyes~ you might be in some deep doo-doo with the 2 women and the MoronBat would be my guess.
Edit to add- Good thought in not jumping anyone's bones until you have made up your mind on just one. Bad thought on posting your question here where they can see it. | |
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| How long can I date two women?
Posted: 5/3/2008 8:57:21 PM |
At what point do I start being the bad guy?
I think you should go out with both a few more times. You only become the bad guy if you are intimate with them both. Keep it casual for now. You sound like you are doing the right thing. | |
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| How long can I date two women?
Posted: 5/3/2008 9:12:06 PM | After one date with each, you want to see both of them again, that's a good thing; telling them is up to you. Are you one of those people who can date more than one person and 'keep things straight'?! You start being the 'bad guy' when you lead either or both of them on or lie to either or both of them, ie one (or both) ask if you are the only person you are seeing, then you become the 'bad guy.' You need to ask yourself, are you looking to JUST date or for something long-term. Those things should factor into your decision to tell or not.
Personally, I like to see one person at a time, if I have a few dates with someone, once we have date number 2 [and start talking about 3 and 4.... ], I basically stop setting up meets with anyone else [very few exceptions]. I might go on xyz number of 1st dates adn not have a second date with any of those guys, but, I might meet someone who I have a date with an after we part company I can't wait to see them again and we plan our next date within a few hours of parting company, that's when I would not see anyone else and see what happens. | |
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| How long can I date two women?
Posted: 5/3/2008 9:20:24 PM | | You know ur answer is the best choose to date one person at a time...lol....then us males wont get in these predicaments! | |
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