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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/4/2008 12:02:59 AM | If a woman told you that you were, " not good enough for her" how would you take it? Would it hurt your feelings? Would you assume she was referring to your social or economic status rather than merely your character?
Why do [some] men respond by name calling, and other forms of verbal abuse when they get their feelings hurt? I know this is not a healthy reaction/response, but I am very confused/curious as to why a man would say awful things to someone he claims to love/care about/like ?    =  | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/4/2008 12:08:19 AM | It's a natural reaction.
Go to join a group, and hear them say you are not good enough to join them, and you'll more than likely badmouth them to your friends later. Only one person saying it directly to another person is more personal and seen as hostile.
Experience the reversal of roles to see the reason for the reaction.
Human beings exist today because our ancestors eventually developed the mentality that we are always in the right until proven wrong, and that we are top dog against all odds. It was extremely helpful to their survival so it stuck around. | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/4/2008 12:14:53 AM | How does a man actually get to the point of 'liking/caring about/ or love' anybody who tells them he's not good enough for her in the FIRST place???
Why would a woman say such AWFUL things to invoke a man to have to answer back with something just as derogatory? Are you suggesting it's OK for a woman to say to a guy that he is BENEATH her if he hasn't done anything wrong for her to make the comment?? Because if you are, I got a whole list of comebacks just waiting for any woman who thinks she can just spout that off....
Besides, I've have had MORE than one occasion where the same woman goes from believing she's too good for me, to wanting to be all over me AFTER she found out what I do, who I know, or what I have...... It's then that SHE proves to be not good enough for ME!!
ya done???
Do people just sit up all night and struggle this hard trying to come up with something legitimate to ask in these forums?? | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/4/2008 12:21:08 AM | Why do you care what he says or what is opinion is of you? After all he's not good enough for you. I find it ironic that you even care, or is it simply that you believe it is justifiable when you hurt some ones feelings but not when they hurt yours?
I have been thru this and my thoughts echo the advice of Groucho Marx," I would never belong to a club that would have me as a member."
IOW, If I wasn't good enough before, don't be calling me later. [and she did] | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/4/2008 12:23:36 AM | Well, how can you tell the difference between words being said out of anger and hurt versus just a really bad guy? It's like I don't know if I can forgive for what he said, you know, he said the b-word, and a sh*t load of other hurtful misc. things, especially all the gut wrenching words that really hurt a woman.
Was he trying to hurt my feelings back? I guess I'm trying to figure out if he really meant the things he said or if he was just hurt. He lied to impress me, we got mad at each other and I told him that he wasn't good enough for me and he knew it, then he called me a bunch of bad names [this shocked me, and it totally hurt my feelings]. I'm not speaking to him now, but I just wonder if he really meant it or if that is just how [some] guys respond when their hurting inside.  =  ????? | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/4/2008 12:23:40 AM | No, I would just move on and find a woman who didn't place all value on social or economic status.
How rich or well-connected does a guy have to be these days to date a woman such as yourself? | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/4/2008 12:25:45 AM |
If a woman told you that you were, " not good enough for her" how would you take it? Would it hurt your feelings? Would you assume she was referring to your social or economic status rather than merely your character? Yes, but not because of what you think. I would probably be embarrassed by the moment of insanity for asking someone out that would actually say that (and believe it) out. But that is probably biased by my opinion of my self worth.
Why do [some] men respond by name calling, and other forms of verbal abuse when they get their feelings hurt? I know this is not a healthy reaction/response, but I am very confused/curious as to why a man would say awful things to someone he claims to love/care about/like ? Most people take insults badly. In fact, someone would have to be pretty socially retarded (and I mean a literal sociopathy) to expect a person to not take an insult personally.
Did you actually say to someone that he wasn't good enough to you because of his (1) social status, (2) economic status, or (3) character?
I sure hope there is context to you saying a man isn't good enough for you. Because without it, you come across really bad.
Some examples of "legitimate" not good enough are:
1. Boyfriend that doesn't appreciate you.
2. Variety of criminal behaviors that you don't want to be associated with.
3. Boyfriend makes no effort to get a job and effectively leeches off of you.
4. Boyfriend cheats on you. | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/4/2008 12:32:49 AM | I've only heard this one time...my first POF date, actually. Thankfully, it wasn't my character that was sub-par, it was the lack of visible indicators of my social and economic status in the form of nice vehicle, clothes, house, etc. Yep, she actually said that.
Saved me the trouble of having to dump her boring, elitist @$$.
Fear not, I wished her well, and thanked her for her fashion tips. | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/4/2008 12:41:54 AM | This guy lied about EVERYTHING. I mean, basically as time went on, I'm getting hit with all these "truth bombs" from a criminal past, to children, I mean everything that would have made me decide not to date him in the first place. In an argument I blurted out that he knew he wasn't good enough for me in the first place, and he responded by calling me a bunch of hurtful names, and I'm still in shock at his reaction...it's like is that the #1 thing not to say to a man or what? Even though it's basically the truth [for this guy]. I'm just thinking that he never really cared for me at all if he can say those things to me now. What do you guys think? Is this like a normal, but immature reaction or is this guy just a loser?
And isn't it rather selfish to lie to a woman for her affection. I mean it really sucks, because there is noway I would have dated him if I knew what I know now about him, but we have this chemistry that is amazing and.... *sigh* it's complicated. However, I'm more concerned about his response to my comment and what it all means. I like/care about this guy, but now I think he doesn't/never cared for me at all. You think he is just hurt/angry or what? | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/4/2008 12:46:00 AM | LOL - when those gold diggers do find the men who they think has nice cars, houses, clothes, etc. The guys bone her for a while, then leave her. She gets nothing but a fat (or small) dick in her for a few days or weeks and then she get left. I think the rich and pretending to be rich guys call it the "olde pump and dump"!
Half the time the guys are up to their ears in debt. You do know that most wealthy people are not flamboyant, which is exactly part or most of the reason why they are wealthy! | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/4/2008 12:46:01 AM | Uh... why wouldn't that hurt someone's feelings? That's insulting. Suggesting someone is beneath you like that... it's also a natural reaction to get defensive and do something like bad mouthing because of it. I'd like to see someone that didn't feel put down and the least bit defensive after hearing that.
Did you expect some kind of positive response after saying something like that....? | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/4/2008 12:47:11 AM | OP, sorry I am not too bright. But can you say as accurately and truthfully as possible what it is you want to know here and why?
I'm getting confused.
Right now I am getting the impression you hate who he is and think he's not good enough for you, but you want to be shown that he can still love you for some reason. | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/4/2008 1:01:36 AM |
This guy lied about EVERYTHING. I mean, basically as time went on, I'm getting hit with all these "truth bombs" from a criminal past, to children, I mean everything that would have made me decide not to date him in the first place. In an argument I blurted out that he knew he wasn't good enough for me in the first place, and he responded by calling me a bunch of hurtful names, and I'm still in shock at his reaction...it's like is that the #1 thing not to say to a man or what? Even though it's basically the truth [for this guy]. I'm just thinking that he never really cared for me at all if he can say those things to me now. What do you guys think? First off, you probably should've said something more along the lines of, "You have not been honest with me, and I don't want to wait around for the next revelation. Good bye."
Is this like a normal, but immature reaction or is this guy just a loser? The guy probably views himself as a loser if he feels he needs to lie about his criminal past and children. But I think it is perfectly normal for a person to take offense to insults.
And isn't it rather selfish to lie to a woman for her affection. I mean it really sucks, because there is noway I would have dated him if I knew what I know now about him, but we have this chemistry that is amazing and.... *sigh* it's complicated. However, I'm more concerned about his response to my comment and what it all means. I like/care about this guy, but now I think he doesn't/never cared for me at all. It is selfish to lie, but isn't it also selfish to voice your judgements of others?
As to criminal past though, it really depends what a person did. There are some crimes in our country that are overly punished. For instance, public nudity is a rape offense. So if a couple of young people were to go skinny dipping and got caught, they would have to register as sex offenders. | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/4/2008 1:03:35 AM | Wow... maybe I didn't explain good enough you guys are kinda getting it all wrong. I don't care about money, I was referring to his CHARACTER, problem is, men think that when you say something along those lines that you are just talking about money and social status etc. I kinda got my answer, because you all seemed to get really upset... I hate to admit that I like him a lot, but it seems like i fell for a lie, because he lied about a lot of stuff [not money or anything] just about his situation, past, family...okay he didn't so much lie, but he left out a lot of "important" sh*t... and expects me to just accept it now... but it's not that easy. I feel like I was tricked or something, and now I'm really into him, but is it really him or some fictional character he made it-that's the situation [the short version].
I blurted that "he knew he wasn't good enough for me and that is why he lied" and he totally went psycho-dude on me, so I realize that he had a complex all along about his career, age, all of the above, and saying that probably hurt his ego more than his feelings or whatever, but what he said to me hurt way more, and I don't know if he said it out of anger/hurt or if he really never liked/cared for me?? What do you think? Men are so...difficult. ???? | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/4/2008 1:09:24 AM | I think the help you need is to be told to move on.
You don't need this kind of drama and ethically changing an adult's core behavioural patterns is a 100 times harder and more time consuming than simply brainwashing a person. | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/4/2008 1:20:34 AM |
If a woman told you that you were, " not good enough for her" how would you take it? Would it hurt your feelings? Would you assume she was referring to your social or economic status rather than merely your character?
It certainly would not hurt my feelings. Maybe I'm not a slave to latest fashions etc, but I'm a thoroughly decent bloke, and I'm very happy with the person I am. So, given the scenario above, my attitude would be "Your bed love - lie in it..."
Why do [some] men respond by name calling, and other forms of verbal abuse when they get their feelings hurt? I know this is not a healthy reaction/response, but I am very confused/curious as to why a man would say awful things to someone he claims to love/care about/like ? =
Pride is very important, and unfortunately some men react to that sort of thing my trying to make the other person out as having the problem... I don't really see what that achieves though - I'd already know where the problem lie, and wouldn't feel a need to humiliate her - I'd just walk away.
Martin | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/4/2008 1:33:48 AM | I feel like I was tricked or something, and now I'm really into him, but is it really him or some fictional character he made it-that's the situation
No, the revealing of a person's past does not change who they are today. You are attracted to the same guy. He's still the same, right? He didn't build a time-machine and go back and sell a few bags of weed or whatever, right?
I don't know if he said it out of anger/hurt or if he really never liked/cared for me?
No one can tell that answer but him, even then he may lie. But if you insult someone, don't be surprised if they insult you back.
Men are so...difficult.
Women more so! What's up with women being surprised that a man has a criminal record in a country with such draconian laws and legal process? I mean this country (U.S.A.) has more people in prison or jail (per capita and total!) than any other country on the face of the planet. Even Communist China, with 1.2 billion population, has less than 1/2 of our incarcerated numbers!
What did the guy do to break the law?
vvvvvv LOL - "some dude from WoW" is out of your league supposedly! That dude is an idiot for paying $25 a month to play a game when he could have the same gameplay and fun playing Knights Online for free! | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/4/2008 1:35:43 AM |
If a woman told you that you were, " not good enough for her" how would you take it?
It's an insulting statement, to say the least. It probably wouldn't bother me unless I valued her opinion of me.
My ex. actually told me she was out of my league before she ditched me for some dude from WoW. She even had the balls to call me immature after I watched her get fired from her job for skipping work, fail multiple classes by not attending them, and ignore her friends and family for a computer game. It floored me because I had accepted her, even with all of her faults. I didn't throw them in her face, but I did call her a hypocrite. I didn't deserve to be talked to or treated like that. | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/4/2008 1:38:16 AM |
I mean this country (U.S.A.) has more people in prison or jail than any other country on the face of the planet. What did the guy do to break the law?
Jurors watching too much Law and Order, an offensive police system, constitutional rights being thrown into the trashcan, higher population, more ethnicities/minorities, lax gun laws, horrible prosecution process, I can keep going, but I'm too drunk to even try to think. | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/4/2008 2:31:39 AM | | It's really very simple to me. If a woman said something like that to me then i would know right then and there that she wasn't the one for me. Me, I say OK. See ya. Move on to the next one and never grace your door step again. | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/4/2008 3:01:15 AM |
Why do [some] men respond by name calling, and other forms of verbal abuse when they get their feelings hurt?
AND
Why do [some] women respond by name calling, and other forms of verbal abuse when they get their feelings hurt?
=
Human nature
.....................JMO | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/4/2008 4:37:17 AM | I'm glad you clarified the situation. At first I thought this was a First Date kind of thing.
Regardless, it's an insult. How would you take it if the situation was reversed? I'm sure there are a few that wouldn't get bent out of shape about it, but I think most people are going to have a problem with it.
You also have no idea how much you hurt him by saying that, so don't presume that he hurt you more. Especially if he didn't actually lie.
Big difference between a lie and leaving stuff unsaid. | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/4/2008 4:39:43 AM |
If a woman told you that you were, " not good enough for her" how would you take it? I'd suggest laughing in her face. How dare anyone think, let alone say, that someone else is "not good enough" for them? How offensive is that? Anybody is "good enough" for anybody else -- compatibility and attraction is an entirely different matter.
OP, I hope you have never spoken to anyone in this way unless he was a completely arrogant jerk who thought he was God's gift to women and badly needed to be taken down a peg or two.
The original statement "You aren't good enough for me" deserves a fair number of awful things said in response. If that's what you got, good on the guy that responded in that way. I don't believe there anything unhealthy in putting an arrogant, rude and insensitive person straight. I can only assume that the men who didn't respond in this way thought that you weren't worth the energy.
Learn a more considerate way to say "I'm not attracted to you". Even "I'm not attracted to you" would be better. | |
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| Guys, would this hurt your feelings???
Posted: 5/4/2008 6:11:42 AM | If a woman told you that you were, " not good enough for her" how would you take it?
At first, incredulity by such a blatant display of stupidity. Then, I'd leave immediately, to avoid keeping contaminating myself with her presence.
Would it hurt your feelings?
Actually I'd bang my head to the wall to punish myself by being so dumb as to fall for such a b*tch.
The only thing more stupid than a "you're not good enough for me" is to be confused/curious because such a thing causes a reaction. | |
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