| Getting stood up may not be such a bad thing after all....
Posted: 5/4/2008 8:31:02 PM | Reason being....
Yes, we all hate it when it happens, but it's really a blessing in disguise.
It tells you that their could be the potential for very serious problems down the road, that they could be players, people who aren't taking it seriously, etc.
Where people make the mistake ( I did too) is taking it all way too personally.
Remember, it's a reflection on the other man/woman, not you.
People should not play these silly games. Here's a simple rule for EVERYONE to follow...if it doesn't fit, then don't commit.
Be straight up and honest when you're not interested in a person...it may seem like the harder thing to do, but it really isn't, especially online.
It may seem brutal to do it, but it's not, at least not if you do it in a tactful way.
It's far more brutal to set somebody up and totally waste their valuable time......
I find that straight up honesty is the best example to go for....but like I say....do it in a tacful manner.... | |
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| Getting stood up may not be such a bad thing after all....
Posted: 5/4/2008 9:58:10 PM | | Steve, that is a very positive way to look at a bad experience. And may I say, an absolutely correct interpretation of the act. It is a derogatory reflection on the other person and not on the person who was stood up. Honesty is the best policy. It's a shame that so many seem to not realize that. | |
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pr0x
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Joined: 4/25/2008
Msg: 3 | |
| Getting stood up may not be such a bad thing after all....
Posted: 5/5/2008 1:53:09 AM | | In it could also be fate's way of telling you they were caught in traffic, or that they ran a criminal background check on you and misspelled your last name and are now under the assumption that you are the red river slasher. Sadly all a circumstance such as being stood up tells you is that you were stood up, or that maybe they had shown up, saw you and went the other direction. | |
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| Getting stood up may not be such a bad thing after all....
Posted: 5/5/2008 2:22:46 AM | While the sentiment behind the thread is positive and it is always good advice for someone who is stood up, the potential to impact those individuals on the other side of the issue is fairly slim because it ignores the myriad reasons that people don't show.
There are those that, either because they are too shy or the online dating thing is just a game with no real world consequences never have any intention of meeting. Others do show but after seeing the other individual, are either disappointed by the person's appearance or are overwhelmed; essentially the other person looks too good and is out of their league.
Some of those people could do the honorable thing after the fact and provide the person who is stood up with some closure but is this likely from people that did not have the wherewithall to follow through to begin with?
You are correct, people should not take it personally. It is the other's flaw, but that does not make it any easier if one is sitting alone somewhere waiting. | |
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| Getting stood up may not be such a bad thing after all....
Posted: 5/5/2008 7:26:41 AM | I agree with Packagedeal its the pits waiting and thinking where is he??did he see me and book???Is he a player and never even meant to show up???Is my hair ok???LOL and then to say to yourself yes IT IS their stuff not yours, is difficult depends how good you feel about yourself that evening..Its goood to have a back up plan also LOL
Ive talked to men awhile before the meet and greet,emailed ,phone calls etc and then
still got stood up sooo who knows this online dating stuff can be tiresome at best!!
We all are on our best behavior but some stuff just isnt acceptable...and Ive found out alot of men dont know the meaning of honesty or closure..I try to always be honest and to tell someone outright "this wont work for me" ,in a nice way ofcourse!! | |
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| Getting stood up may not be such a bad thing after all....
Posted: 5/5/2008 9:03:13 AM | too much thinking into this IMHO
They stand you up its their loss. If i dont get a text message or a call and theyre more than 15 minutes late, i walk and move on.
I dont have time nor the energy to spend in my life wondering why people wish to act a certain way , if i did i wouldve become a therapist  | |
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