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| Judging us by what we wear?
Posted: 5/6/2008 7:07:01 PM | The last week there's been a couple comments made about the clothing women choose to wear and why men look at them they way they do or think about sex because of the woman's choice of clothing.
So my question is this...should women be judged by what we wear when we go out on a date or if a man is staring at our chest instead of looking at our face...do you see it as a woman's fault because she chose to wear something flattering?
I have never dressed conservatively but at the same time I don't dress like a what I would imagine a hooker to wear either. I am not naive enough to think men aren't going to admire our assets and that's all good but being born with a good share of assets up top it bothers me when I'm introduced to someone that needs to be reminded where my face is. It also bothers me to think that women need to take the blame if men come on too strong during a date because men think if they have cleavage showing "they're puting it out there" thus causing the problem. We;ve been having this exact conversation at work too and with summer coming and tops being smaller and showing more...let's hear your opinions, I'm really curious how minds think. | |
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| Judging us by what we wear?
Posted: 5/6/2008 7:38:53 PM | there are many factors
its not just what a woman wears but how she wears it
2 women can wear the same top and get totaly different results
one woman can be judged different ways depending on how she is giving out her body language
some guys are just dogs they like to just stare at body parts like they have been deprived of ever seeing them
then again if thats what they do then maybe they have been deprived
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| Judging us by what we wear?
Posted: 5/6/2008 8:25:09 PM | | well, i am no slim pickens, but i've seen some plus sized women wearing inappropriate too tight, too small, too revealing clothing. now, that's gross. just because they make it in your size, doesn't mean you look good. maybe i see it that way because i dress conservatively. | |
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| Judging us by what we wear?
Posted: 5/6/2008 8:31:02 PM | if dressed right plus sized women can look sexxy as heck too
they shouldn't look like they are trying to show it off thats when they go too far | |
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| Judging us by what we wear?
Posted: 5/6/2008 8:39:51 PM | I agree...I see lots of plus size women looking sexy with some cleavage showing. The big mistake is showing it all...LOL or wearing things too tight but that's for everyone not just bigger girls. Everyone has the ability to look sexy as long as they do it with class.
I like what you said Hodgie my sweet...maybe it is the way a person wears something, they way they hold themselves and act. That still doesnt explain the ogglers...maybe they just don't have any class? | |
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| Judging us by what we wear?
Posted: 5/7/2008 4:16:32 AM | Well Joanne can probably tell you I am not a oogler, but I still find it so funny that some women just put it all out there and get upset when a man looks.
Personally I try to look at your face and eyes when talking to you. I make that a point, but if there are two big glaring white things looking at me from below, it's hard not to glance. My eyes get distracted by motion too.  But I do my best.
But every woman can look sexy, but I think it's more about how she acts than her clothes. A little teasing clothes go a long way with me, more than showing it all. | |
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| Judging us by what we wear?
Posted: 5/7/2008 4:22:36 AM | | yeah, tony is definitely a gentleman. i think we were too busy laughing and talking to even go into that. but i think you are right, tony, a little teasing goes further. why show it all? a classy woman does not need to expose herself. the way she carries herself is far more classier. | |
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| Judging us by what we wear?
Posted: 5/7/2008 6:27:30 AM | So my question is this...should women be judged by what we wear when we go out on a date or if a man is staring at our chest instead of looking at our face...do you see it as a woman's fault because she chose to wear something flattering?
Great thread, Robin!  Yanno,,funny thing is, that women who happen to be a bit on the busty side tend to get it pretty bad! Lets put it this way,,,im a busty gal. If someone who say,,,,was pretty small up on top and we wore the exact same shirt, i can almost guarentee the male eyes will gravitate to the bustier chest AND that male will start thinking some inappropriate things. Why is that? Just cuz one woman is bustier than another? We can both be wearing the same shirt but the bustier gal will be accused of 'putting it out there'? Its almost like bustier women have to wear moomoo type shirts just to not get the negative remarks. Yup,,im pretty sensitive to this topic,,can ya tell? lol For YEARS ive always always worn shirts that were too big cuz i was so self conscious of being busty (trust me,,my friends can attest to my XXL shirts! lol). In the past couple of years tho, ive started to buy clothes that actually fit me (tho i do still tend to gravitate to my XXL shirts lol) and are actually 'flattering', but then you get those men who seem to think your boobs grew eyes and they talk to your chest.  You are screwed either way ~ wear shirts that are too big and look like your pregnant, or wear shirts that actually fit and you get negative feedback.
Like Robin,,id like to hear some male opinions!
oh and PS: How would men like it if our eyes drifted lower and we were talking to 'it'? That'd make you men feel uncomfy huh? | |
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| Judging us by what we wear?
Posted: 5/7/2008 7:19:25 AM | Ripley,
<div class="quote">oh and PS: How would men like it if our eyes drifted lower and we were talking to 'it'? That'd make you men feel uncomfy huh? Personally, I get the "stares" quite a bit, but not at my crouch. It's more of an overall, "What a dofuss. What a twit. Who the heck let him in?" type of stares. LOL Just teasin'.
I think the stares which you define would, at first, be well accepted by men. I think most people like attention. I receive it most often due to my idiocy, others (sigh) due to their physicality. However, I think over time it would wear thin as it has on most women.
No one wants to be defined by but one attribute. We all have bodies and we all have minds. I think if an admirer chooses to ignore one to emphasize, or give greater attention to, the other would leave the subject of his admiration questioning, "what's wrong with my.....(fill in the blank).
Beauty comes in many forms, sizes and shapes. It is not confined to just the concrete, that which can be seen, but also that which can be heard, touched or imagined. I think where we may find our troubles arise is when we place too much emphasis, spelled gawk, on one certain aspect, thus ignoring the other beauty which surrounds.
Have I meandered long enough? Oh ya, the question. Clothing can be flattering or provocative, like beauty, it's in the eye of the beholder. Being judged, unfortunately, is just a part of life. Whether you're judged by what you wear, say, where you live, what you drive, in my opinion, who cares? I am only concerned with comments from those who I respect or love. It's just so much easier for me, at least, as you just can't please everyone.
Just one man's humble and lengthy opinion.
Dave | |
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| Judging us by what we wear?
Posted: 5/7/2008 7:50:52 AM | Personally, I get the "stares" quite a bit, but not at my crouch. It's more of an overall, "What a dofuss. What a twit. Who the heck let him in?" type of stares. LOL Just teasin'.
^^^ now THAT made me . Thats what i love,,,a great sense of humor! :)
I think the stares which you define would, at first, be well accepted by men.
Hmmm,,now that really surprises me!! Id figured they'd be shifting from one foot to the other,,,,turning all red faced,,,, mind racing a mile a minute wondering what the 'looker' was thinking. LOLOL
Ive never actually had the nerve to dip my head to the side,,,wave a little and say 'helloooo ....the twins are tired and not talking today but you can talk to ME up here if you'd like!!!',,,, but id love to see the reaction if i did do that!! LOL | |
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| Judging us by what we wear?
Posted: 5/7/2008 8:58:17 AM | "Judgements prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances.”
~Wayne Dyer | |
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| Judging us by what we wear?
Posted: 5/7/2008 9:39:08 AM | I made some comments on threads that may be part of the reason this thread was started. Those comments were merely made in jest and weren’t serious.
"I am not naive enough to think men aren't going to admire our assets and that's all good but being born with a good share of assets up top it bothers me when I'm introduced to someone that needs to be reminded where my face is."
Robin you are right on the mark, men are going to notice your "assets". There is however a difference between noticing your assets and talking to them. A man with even the slightest amount of class knows your greatest asset isn't your chest, your butt or your legs even if he does look at them.. In the end he knows your most important asset is your brain.
"It also bothers me to think that women need to take the blame if men come on too strong during a date because men think if they have cleavage showing "they're putting it out there" thus causing the problem. "
Any unwanted advances made by someone, be it a man or woman, shows a lack of self control and class. It’s a sign of weakness and weak people blame others in order to justify their actions. As an adult we are responsible for our actions, even when these actions are between consenting adults.
["How would men like it if our eyes drifted lower and we were talking to 'it'? That'd make you men feel uncomfy huh?"
Rip I had said in another thread that I had caught women checking out my butt and had confronted them. I have made few of them feel “uncomfy” by doing it, others just laugh. It didn’t bother me that they were looking, in fact it was kind of flattering. Just because someone looks at your “assets” it doesn’t mean they are being disrespectful. | |
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| Judging us by what we wear?
Posted: 5/7/2008 10:04:34 AM | lmao, ripadoodles you are ok g/f...wish some lady woulda told my ex just that...i'm just a regular size gal, not too big not too small, but because of this physical attribute i often go braless...can't even tell unless it gets chilly outside...still have heard more than my share of "can i urn the radio up", lol...plus i must admit there has been times when a guy has walked up to me when i'm sittin down, and heck it was eye level , if you know what i mean...sure i looked but sure got embarrassed if they caught it  | |
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| Judging us by what we wear?
Posted: 5/7/2008 10:08:43 AM | John, well put. Agreed, agreed, agreed. Noticing and admiring, in my opinion, is far different than gawking. It is best not to let the eyes fixate on anything other then her beautiful eyes or lovely smile. (That way they won't expect the animals which we will become at the first opportunity) LOL NO, no, no, ladies......Just teasin'. Guess I won't be dating any time soon. LOL
Gentlemen, please, let's strive to show a little class. What was it said? "The brain is the sexiest organ in the body." I think that was said, by someone, somewhere. Maybe over coffee..... Or a good book.
Ripley,
Hmmm,,now that really surprises me!! Id figured they'd be shifting from one foot to the other,,,,turning all red faced,,,, mind racing a mile a minute wondering what the 'looker' was thinking. LOLOL
Have you not heard of the infamous MALE EGO.... Shifting from one foot to the other....only to give you a better look. LOL .....turning all red faced...... Ya, while I'm sucking in my gut and holding my breath.  wondering what you, the looker, was thinking..... "Ya, I know, she wants it bad." LOL Except for me, of course. I'm thinking, "Gee, I hope she thinks that I was injured in the war."
I just think we should treat all others with the respect and dignity we would want for ourselves. But, then again, that's just me.
Dave | |
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| Judging us by what we wear?
Posted: 5/7/2008 11:12:12 AM | | Well John,,,it IS disrespectful and perhaps you wouldnt know that cuz you dear Sir,,arent a woman!!! lol Sure,,of course i know men are more visual and are going to 'look'. But,,there is a difference between just merely looking and noticing to downright head being bent down and eyes being glued and talking to the boobs like they are gonna hold a 2 way (er uh,,,3 way lol) conversation. That,my friend,,IS being disrespectful. When i see a handsome man walking thru a door, you betcher butt im gonna look, but i wont let my eyes feast on his crotch the entire time (well if i do, illl do it descreetly LOL). But you get my point (i hope?). | |
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| Judging us by what we wear?
Posted: 5/7/2008 11:18:37 AM | Katadoodles!! Welcome back!!!! You left so fast, the wind blew your picture away! lol And yes,,,i DO know what you mean:
i must admit there has been times when a guy has walked up to me when i'm sittin down, and heck it was eye level , if you know what i mean...sure i looked but sure got embarrassed if they caught it
We women are visual creatures too! We like to look just as much as you men do,,,,but we arent gonna stand there in front of you and have a conver with Mr. Willy. lol
I just think we should treat all others with the respect and dignity we would want for ourselves.
Well said d.a.......*looks up* I mean yes,,,,well said!!
~ welp g'night all! gotsta work tonight! looks like a storm heading head so everyone be safe and have a good night! *big ol hugs*
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| Judging us by what we wear?
Posted: 5/7/2008 1:00:12 PM | rip I think you missed my point. I said " Just because someone looks at your “assets” it doesn’t mean they are being disrespectful."
Now if a guy is fixated on your chest while words are coming out his mouth he isn't "JUST" looking now is he? I do agree if he is talking to your boobs it is disrepectful and its also crude and rude. What I don't understand is why when this happens a woman would keep talking to him!!!!!!!
I don't agree with your thinking that men are more visual but perhaps most women are more discrete than most men. There are two women, on different occasions, that were talking to me and noticeably turned their heads and stared at men as they walked by without any interruption in the conversation we were having. There are some things that just aren't gender specific including being rude, crude and disrespectful. | |
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| Judging us by what we wear?
Posted: 5/7/2008 5:07:20 PM | Awww Johnny...I knew you were just kidding, I didn't take what you said the wrong way my friend ....but it did get me to thinking along with a couple other remarks I hear on forums here that wern't in jest.
I am brave when it comes to men talking to my "globes" because I find it so disrespectful...I give it to them with both barrels loaded so to speak and they retreat quickly. I don't expect men to not look, it's a given, I look too, but a look is much different then them being talked too. I shouldn't have to hide what I have just to feel safe from the vultures.
Tony...LOL...they're not white, they're tanned, and if they show a little that still doesnt give a man the right to stare. I am betting if a woman stared at your crotch it would make you feel very uncomfortable after a minute or two instead of looking at your face when talking to you. Because some of us have bigger chests then others doesnt mean we should have to wear turtle necks to ensure gawkers aren't gawking. what happened to common respect? Big boobs should not bring about automatic thoughts of sex should they?
Rip...I so feel what you are saying gf, every single word...I cant wait to hear what more men have to say. | |
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| Judging us by what we wear?
Posted: 5/7/2008 5:38:35 PM | OUCH !!!!
Like FRANK ZAPPA said
"TITTEES and BEER"
maybe a few sweet KISSES, Sun E say's
sorry i'm just a man
,,,,, | |
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| Judging us by what we wear?
Posted: 5/7/2008 6:31:53 PM | well my opinion is that its human nature to desire something more the more your deprived of it
the men who stare must be deprived
take for example nudist beaches and nudist camps they see it all the time so its not a
big deal
Hodgie | |
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| Judging us by what we wear?
Posted: 5/7/2008 7:32:57 PM | Can I share that I feel disgusted when a coworker looks at my package? I have confronted him before and asked him if he was gay or something and then he goes off and spurts about how america is going to hell because being gay is accepted as being ok.. And rants on and on...
But yet I find myself if I have to discuss anything with him he gravitates to looking at my crotch...
With my build and physical attributes I do tend to "stick out" more then the average guy depending on the pants I wear. I do get some of the same treatment you discuss here but I take it all in stride. Women tend to be more discrete about looking then alot of the guys do.
I try to be a gentleman at all times but I would be lying if I said I was never caught looking at a womans "assets" which is especially bad since I am not a breast man by any means. I am much more strongly attracted by a nice set of legs and such... If your showing them off with a nice dress or something similar it is hard for me to not to stare. But I still would never assume anything is OK that I KNOW is not...
A to the teeny weenie bikini... Can't wait for the beach weather... ;)
Course by then I might not look too bad in a swim suit myself if I don't kill myself first in these aerobics classes I am taking.. LOL Damn those things kill your abs and you legs...
Just started taking some pilates classes and some other stuff through work... Fun fun fun but they are shocked a man is in the class.. (Heck in one of my classes the place its held doesn't even have a mans bathroom... Now talk about feeling out of place.... LOL)
Rodney | |
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| Judging us by what we wear?
Posted: 5/7/2008 8:08:36 PM |
Tony...LOL...they're not white, they're tanned, and if they show a little that still doesnt give a man the right to stare. I am betting if a woman stared at your crotch it would make you feel very uncomfortable after a minute or two instead of looking at your face when talking to you. Because some of us have bigger chests then others doesnt mean we should have to wear turtle necks to ensure gawkers aren't gawking. what happened to common respect? Big boobs should not bring about automatic thoughts of sex should they?
Well no I just think that if a lady is wearing inappropriate clothes all types of people stare....
Have you ever noticed that the woman can't be the blame for it though?  | |
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| Judging us by what we wear?
Posted: 5/7/2008 9:33:11 PM | | Hello.....news flash, women bring about automatic thoughts of sex to a man, doesn't matter if your assets are your boobs, your butt, your legs, could be your eyes or your smile. Don't be disgusted by it, it's human nature. Personally, I find it amusing. As everyone has already said, it the rudeness that's disgusting and rudeness is disgusting in every facet of life, be it getting cut off in traffic, or standing you up on a date. | |
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| Judging us by what we wear?
Posted: 5/8/2008 3:09:16 AM | Wow that's the best explaination I have heard in a long time. But don't women like looking at men?
But yes the rude should not be rude. | |
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