| i dont know what to do anymore :(
Posted: 5/6/2008 8:08:07 PM | i'm going through alot and in alot of pain right now and it's just hard for me to go thru each day, living a lousy life like this. i'm almost 24 years old, unemployed..yes UNEMPLOYED and still live at home with family. i've been unemployed for almost 3 years, how embarassing is that?? i've been looking for work around in my area, at the stores, restaurants, and other places close to where i live, but i just cant get any jobs!! and it's hard for me to get around without a car so it's much easier for me to look for work near where i live. it's hard to find work here in sacramento!!! very few job opportunities, i noticed. i've been trying so hard for so long and still nothing happens!!!! i just dont get it!! no one wants to hire me or take a chance on me. i got called for job interviews a couple times and they would tell me that they'll get back to me, they'll call me back if there's a position available, but they never do..i even called them and they would say there's no position available or they're not hiring. they just dont want to hire me! they would hire someone else instead. i've applied at many different places and still no luck :( i just dont understand at all! what is wrong with me???? i filled out so many applications and i know i filled them out right and i also turned in resumes to go with the application but still absolutely NOTHING happen!!!! my friends referred me to places they know and still nothing. i dont have any criminal backgrounds. i have good records in my last job, when i was living in the bay area, but since i moved here, my life turned downhill. i feel like i get discriminated all the time because of my race(minority), my look. i just dont understand!!!!!! i know i look young for my age and maybe when they see me they would think im inexperience, immature..wont do a good job or something..or they dont like their first impression of me..i'm just being myself and i cooperate with them properly. what else do i have to do to impress them?? this is the reason why my family and i dont get along much. because i'm always depending on other people and they are just sick and tired of me depending on others. my mom hates me so much, dont like me living with her, we argue alot..tells me i have no use to the family...and she wishes i was never born never...that completely broke my heart :( I DONT WANT TO LIVE WITH MY FAMILY ANYMORE the longer i live with them the worst things get! I WANT TO MOVE OUT SO BAD! maybe i should have never been born because i have no use in this planet :( i just wish i have a job so i can support myself and not depending on other people...but how could i find a job, when nobody wants to hire me?? they always turn me down and im just tired of it! they dont even give me a chance! i want to be independent but i cant find a way to make this happen :( i cant find any other way to get my life together and this is driving me CRAZY!!!! I REALLY NEED TO WORK!! i cant stay home all the time and doing nothing! i know i sound desperate..but i just dont know what to do anymore..i dont think theres any hope for me  | |
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| i dont know what to do anymore :(
Posted: 5/6/2008 8:21:26 PM | well to get a job first you got to not look like you need one thats the key 2nd you got to have convdence and show it too.
then get them to talk about them selfs and the things they like to do
don't say much about you and what you like to do aslo just answer the question they ask and don't elaborate at all. the more you talk the lest chance you will get the job.
go to unemplyoment and take there corse on interviews it will help alot
It helped me | |
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| i dont know what to do anymore :(
Posted: 5/6/2008 8:31:04 PM | You need to get to a consortium, to the employment office.....find out what you can do to make yourself more employable.
that is a first priority.
Maybe good will can train you.....
make sure you have job skills.
You are very young.
If you have a clean record, try the school districts, head start, do teacher's aid work, it's farily easy, get a 1st aid card, cpr card, a few things to get your skills up, go sign up for any training they might give you for free at the consortium.
Maybe, you need to get out of your rut, try something new.
don't turn to drink or stay out late, or you might find yourself without a warm home....
Be good and be good to those who love you.....
make sure to pitch in and help ....
try harder.....it won't be fixed overnight.
Good luck, | |
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| i dont know what to do anymore :(
Posted: 5/6/2008 8:31:52 PM | You sound like you have a lot of emotional issues, and it comes off on interviews and such. Turns people off.
Not criticizing you, but maybe you should get some counselling to work through a few things.
Don't beat yourself up all the time, try to gain a positive outlook and stuff will start falling into place.
Negativity doesn't help your cause any....
We're all here for a sounding board or to talk to. Lots of good folks on here.... | |
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| i dont know what to do anymore :(
Posted: 5/6/2008 8:39:15 PM | Try going to temporary employment agencies. They will represent you, get you hired and all you need to do is show up.
In the process you may gain confidence and be able to present yourself better. | |
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| i dont know what to do anymore :(
Posted: 5/6/2008 9:00:02 PM | set up an appointment with a career counsellor, they are very good at finding work that suits YOU, can help you with writing a professional resume and give you advice on what to say/how to act during an interview. It's all about selling yourself, most employers usually do have a list of potential employees already, you need to sell to them why you deserve that job more that the list of others. Dress is also very important, if you say you look young you might have to find a different style that will make you look older.
Health care services is a very good field, there's a wide variety of fields to choose from whether it be in the kitchen, housekeeping, home care, etc etc, all very good jobs.
If you say it's the region you live in that's giving you trouble, maybe look for work in another area? | |
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| i dont know what to do anymore :(
Posted: 5/6/2008 9:34:34 PM | i feel like i get discriminated all the time because of my race(minority), my look. i just dont understand!!!!!! i know i look young for my age and maybe when they see me they would think im inexperience, immature..wont do a good job or something..or they dont like their first impression of me..i'm just being myself and i cooperate with them properly.
A lot of good advise giving already. But just reading what is posted above I would not hired you. If you fill out a job application with bad spelling lower case i or im when you mean I'm that tell people you are not trying to improve yourself.
You have to stop and think for minute about the person hiring you. Turn it around if you were hiring someone what would you look for. A lot of places give people a chance and some work out. Others are a waste of time. Therefore when you go in for interview if you say certain things you remind them of someone that didn't work out.
You want a job here is what you need to do to prove you are on the ball make sure the application is printed out correctly neat clean. Clean clothes upbeat outlook on life smile I am glad to meet you. You want to impress someone do a little research so and so company that may want to hire you. Say I want to work for you because your company was formed in 1963 on a dream and hard work. With successful marketing in 25 years it has expanded into 10 states, you have a record of treating your employee's good but you expect hard work and dedication. There is room for someone like me to expand and help the business become a better store.
When they hire you they spend a lot of money training you, teaching you, getting you up to speed. That is part of doing business but what they hate is after doing that people quit within 6 months or 1 year they have to start from scratch rehiring, retraining getting the new person up to speed. Puts stress on the management. Give management a reason to hire you, positive outlook, willing to work hard, and care the Company make money.
It is really a simple concept that people have forgetting now days if the company doesn't make money they go out of business and you lose your job. | |
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| i dont know what to do anymore :(
Posted: 5/7/2008 9:54:28 AM | Did you try to sleep with the employers? I heard it works =)
Either way I came to this country just a couple of years ago and didn't have social security or work authorisation till a year ago. When I came here I started working on cash jobs, they are everywhere. Construction, restaurants. Babysitting too but its really hard to get a babysitter job as a male. Either way. I didn't have any problem supporting myself even without work authorisation. I was making 100$ a day just by working as a bus boy in restaurants. Then as soon as I got my work authorisation(next day after I recieved it by mail) I started working in a big corporation as a quality assurance analyst. And am working here now still. Love my job.
So I don't really get how people who have documents in US can have a problem finding a job. Same as I don't get why physically healthy black males are sitting on the streets asking for money. Just yesterday I came out of the train and 2 black kids behind me said something about me looking like a white kid from movies(implying that its so easy for white people to get rich in here or something). Which really made me laugh, I m just an immigrant and never had any support in here. Yet I am already making my 40,000$ a year doing perhaps the easiest job you could imagine.
If you are having a trouble finding a job where you live. Move to a big city. New York City for example. Don't have money to find a place where to live? Look at craiglist you ll find tons of ads with guyz looking to rent rooms for girls for free just so they would sleep with them. In this country life everything is possible for girls. I don't get how you can have any trouble with it. | |
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| i dont know what to do anymore :(
Posted: 5/7/2008 10:51:58 AM | Hi Sher ~ please read all the way through...
Hon....you are not the first to go through the things you are experienceing right now. Everyone has their own good & terrible past influences....
What you are going through right now is shaping who you are going to be. You can choose to have it make you stonger by knowing what you DON'T want in your life.
The way to help youself until a job comes along, is to get involve with people who YOU can help.
Volunteering may be just the right ticket to friendship, appreciation, feeling like a contributor and even a new job!
Job skills are earned through volunteering and the new people you meet will help you recognize who YOU are. YOU know what YOU have to offer!
Parents are not automatically wonderful. The best thing you can do is release yourself from the need to have approval from them.
Parents are people too and some need a lot more growing in their own lives to become naturally good to others and appreciative of others. Understanding their own past may help you to forgive them and move on.
In the meantime, practice how you greet and leave off with people. Make your greetings purposeful and goodbye's positive.
A hearty Hello accompanied with eye contact and a BIG smile ingratiates you to every one!
You are young but you can make the decision to take little steps and only deal with what YOU have to offer, (not if others approve of how you want to GROW.)
Good luck, darlin'...I have a daughter your age, and she has great confidence...but she had people around her who taught her the very same as I told you.
BKS | |
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| i dont know what to do anymore :(
Posted: 5/7/2008 11:06:21 AM | | Stop blaming others and society as long as you are in college or got a degree there is nothing to be ashamed about. If you have confidence in yourself then nothing cna stop you. And being a minority cna actually help you get a job ebcuase of affirmative action gives tax incentives to employers and says they ahve to hire so many minorities to not be racist. Its a Political correctness thing. Even though I think people should be hired based ont heir qualification not their race or sex. So stop pittying yourself and blaming others and move foward and really look for a job and show confidence and that you ahve the ability to do things. | |
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| i dont know what to do anymore :(
Posted: 5/7/2008 11:16:37 AM | Try going to temporary employment agencies. They will represent you, get you hired and all you need to do is show up. This is a great suggestion. I got full time jobs twice with temp positions. A temp agency can provide minimal career counseling services for you too, get you to focus on something that you can do now that can lead into better future work. Check it out, chin up!  | |
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| i dont know what to do anymore :(
Posted: 5/7/2008 11:38:23 AM | Hi OP
I remember feeling like this at your age and I had a family in tow - we'd just had Margaret Thatcher come to power (it was the 80's and unemployment swept the country just as I left college and I found I couldn't get a job anywhere.
So I took crapola jobs and did things like strip thick oil off factory floors and even worked as a 'bouncer' for 18 months just to get a reference for a better job (the pay for all of these was lousy). I did get into better jobs but then would be made redundant again. I was about 28 when I decided I wanted a career and would do anything to get it - a career with transferable skills doing the kinds of job I could do anywhere.
Well, my hobby was writing - I'd sold some fiction but not enough to live on and many of the jobs I'd enjoyed had involved working with people so I sat down, opened the local jobs pages and looked at the jobs. About this time there'd also been the great migration from manufacturing (traditionally male) to services (traditionally female, although if you went back to Victorian times traditionally male then!) and when I opened the papers I saw hundreds of jobs for trained secretarial staff/administrators.
Hold on, I thought, working with people and writing! So I signed up for a secretarial course and I enjoyed it so much I did a second course and got a 'low paid but enjoyable' job and then a better job and then a better job ...
The great thing about what I've done is I can get a job anywhere and although it's not a 'career ladder' it is a 'crazy-paving-path' and I'm now working in management.
The danger for you is if you look outward first you'll end up doing what I did and spending the next 10 years of your life doing anything for a bit of cash and hating every minute of it.
The trick is to figure out the things you enjoy now (eg do you like meeting people? do you like helping people?) and look for a 'sideways move' into the type of career that uses those skills. You may need to train, the start may be agonisingly slow, you may need to do voluntary work to get in (I've come across a lady who works as a volunteer in the community who has just got herself a £27000 pa job purely on her voluntary work with prisoners - and she got that over the heads of some highly qualified people).
You need to tackle several things at once with all your problems coming together. I would:
go get yourself a counsellor to help with the emotional strain (or some other kind of emotional support - you need an outlet)
go see a careers advisor (or start to look at yourself and then related careers)
understand that to make progress you're going to have to think in terms of doing things you've never done before
It's a shame your family are being rough on you like that but you can get through it.
They say if you find a job you love you'll never have to work again (not sure that applies all the time but it's not far off!). | |
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| i dont know what to do anymore :(
Posted: 5/7/2008 11:42:49 AM | Well nobody has to put you down, you do it all by yourself. It doesnt matter what anybody else thinks about you. It's what you think about yourself that matters.
You have value or you wouldnt be here on this planet. But you have to value yourself.
You need to get into the work force. Start small if you must but make an effort to start somewhere.
Go to Burger King, McDonalds, Home Depot, Wal Mart................take a whole day and go and fill out applications.. start at one end of the street and go into every store and shop there whether they have a help wanted sign out or not........right now your JOB is to find a job. They are out there
Present yourself as confident and happy............ | |
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| i dont know what to do anymore :(
Posted: 5/7/2008 11:53:32 AM | Resume. Does it show you have not worked in a long time? What is the reason you give?
Do you tell them you were a student? Taking care of a sick parent? What the heck do you say? Don't tell them you can't get a job and you have been sitting home for 3 years.
How about a nursing home job? They usually hire all the time. They need patient people who are caring. You might get some self esteem back.
You read like you are a door mat. People don't want to hire a door mat.
Pick yourself up. You are worth something. God put you here for a reason. Make a list of all the suggestions on this thread.
AND go through them.
Your mother is not helping your self esteem of course. Nothing you can do about that but get up and start walking around.
Do you have tatoos, weird hair? What would turn off an employer about your appearance? Look at yourself in the mirror.
Volunteer somewhere and meet people. If they like you, they will suggest something for you. Go to a church and get involved.
Its call networking. Do it.
Good luck. | |
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| i dont know what to do anymore :(
Posted: 5/7/2008 12:02:43 PM | Well first off, its sounds like you are going through a lot of issues. I have a son who because of his back ground was having a hard time of getting employment. I'm sorry to hear that your parent is not much help in helping you feel good about yourself. I was there for my son giving him encouragement, believe me that is a big help.
My son didnt give up, what he did was go to the places that he wanted to work at. He went and asked and put applications. Point he didn't give up, time after time of being turned away. He is currently in management, because he didn't give up. He didnt give up he knew he could do what he set his mind to.
If you are a minority there are programs that help you get training and some of them are paid. Like YPIC, at the unemployment office they should know about these programs. I know that you can and will find what you are looking for. We need to look on the bright side of things. You are young and bright, I can see it in how you write. Learn to love yourself, dont listen to what others say about you that is negative. If possible go back to school, if so they have part-time jobs to help. I know its sounds easier said then done. There is a point here. Not in looking for work but in believing in yourself.
Spare time go to the library and read, self help books that will give you something positive to encourage you. Reason being we are all good people we just need someone to push us in the right direction. I'm happy that you are trying and that is the first step. You will succeed in your venture, why? Because you will not give up.
I speak from my own experience. After twentyfive years marriage, having to support four children. Had to go back to school, while working I was able to do these things. Yes there was a time I was depressed but I had to pull myself out of it. Ask yourself are you happy with how you feel and I wish your answer is that you are going to make yourself feel good. One thing I learned you have to really want it, to feel good, happy. Hope this has given you some light. I wish you good luck.  | |
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| i dont know what to do anymore :(
Posted: 5/7/2008 4:15:43 PM | If you cant get paid employment, look for something which is voluntary to get you back into relating with people, taking on a routine, taking responsibility. Although the work is unpaid you might well find that avenues offering future paid employment will open up as any future employer will be impressed that you are spending your time fruitfully rather than just sitting at home. I am sure there must be agencies in your home town that you could approach to arrange this.
Make finding a job your current vocation and be ready to start now! Get up early every day, dress smartly as if for work and focus all your energies on this task, and when you do get offered a job, take it, even if it is something mundane, or something you don't want to do. This represents a step on your employment ladder. Work diligently and keep your eyes open to opportunities, and think carefully about the sort of ambition you might have for your future.
Consider going back to college, part-time to study something vocational, this will also help your confidence and enable you to meet all sorts of new people.
Never give up, work hard and focus on your goals. Do that and you will succeed. | |
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