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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 5/6/2008 9:00:37 PM | I've noticed on some women's (and men's I'm sure) profiles that they either hold a Ph.d or about to earn a Ph.d, while I agree this is something to be proud of and many of these people are going into admirable professions, why must some people be so arrogant about it. While I'm paraphrasing here, some people like to state something to the affect "Yes I have a Ph.d, so I'd like someone that can keep up with me" Thats a tad snooty if you ask me, it makes me feel like if I don't also hold a Ph.d in Podiatry, I am unworthy of speaking to you, let alone ask you out. While most doctors are smart, not all are (seems like I've known many in this group) and at the end of the day a Ph.d is a title, I dare say even a status symbol (for some). What I'm saying here is, just because you know a hell of a lot more about cataracts and topology then me, this does not mean I can't keep up with you, unless you just love talking about differential equations all day.
Maybe its just me, because I left high school after the ninth grade, only to finally earn my GED this year (maybe I should boast about that on my page ) so maybe thats why this little thing irritates me. I dropped out of high school after the ninth grade (for personal reasons, I never did drugs, nor was I a delinquent, or insane) yet I think I'm pretty intelligent. Just because I dropped out of high school and hold no title does not mean I am unintelligent, or on welfare, or do not like to learn, or read, or go to museums, or write, or think. Infact it took me dropping out of school to finally love learning. I have learned and read more on my own then I ever did in school. So if you think not having a Ph.d or not going to college means someone is an idiot, then god knowns what you think about people like me.
Honesty and modesty are not taught in any college. | |
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 5/6/2008 9:07:35 PM | | With all due respect we are all entitled to our expectations however "arrogant" or "snooty" they might be. When we give a rat's orifice about the opinions of the "arrogant" or "snooty" we're wasting time we will never get back. Just frargin' Cowboy up my friend. | |
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 5/6/2008 9:11:45 PM | | Perhaps after all that education and years of learning,t hey want someone who match them in that level. Nothing wrong with seeing someone who has as much ambition as they do, but I do agree that they shouldn't judge others if their levels of ambitions isn't the same. It's their loss if they let someone go who may be great but not have what they prefer, but to each their own. | |
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 5/6/2008 9:12:12 PM | OP, nobody should judge anybody based on their education level, you are 100% correct on that. I've known some pretty unintelligent college grads whom I question their ability to get the degree in the first place.
I don't see an issue with a woman mentioning that she has a Ph.D on her profile however (as long as its not done boastfully). It is an accomplishment and something to be proud of. For me advanced education is something I look for because I can relate and it forms a common interest. I'm getting my master's right now and will be getting my Ph.D soon after. The reason I'm doing it is so I can teach at the college level, it has nothing to do with status for me.
This isn't really important but I'd like to point out the technicality that medical doctors don't hold a Ph.D (Doctor of Philosophy) they hold an M.D. (Doctor of Medicine). | |
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 5/6/2008 9:16:34 PM | | Ha, well ya see, I mixed those two up, lol. | |
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 5/6/2008 9:18:43 PM | | Oh and wanderbaby, is this really an ambition issue? | |
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 5/6/2008 9:18:46 PM | I can sympathize with you to some extent, OP. I dropped out of high school (unlike you, it was because I did drugs, I was a delinquent, and I was insane), and it has come back to bite me with reasonable frequency over the last few years. I can further sympathize because, fascinatingly enough, I've never had anyone accuse me of being stupid until after I've mentioned not having anything resembling a university education...Once that's been mentioned, the floodgates of criticism appear to open.
That said, a doctoral degree is not a B.A. Someone with a doctorate has (with few exceptions) been in university for at least six years, earning his or her Master's, then a further two to twenty-thousand years getting that Ph.d. That person is an academic, scholarly type...it doesn't mean that he or she is a pedant or a know-it-all...but it means that he or she probably risks seeming that way. Bluntly, a person who has spent an unbelievable amount of time and money on her education is probably not going to be totally compatible with you; it's not because you're stupid, it's because your priorities are different and your experiences are different.
If the person makes you feel inferior, it's because you are in her eyes. On the bright side, she has likely incurred massive debt over the course of gaining her higher education, and she will consistently be vying against other people with doctorates (sometimes from better schools) for jobs. | |
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 5/6/2008 9:30:20 PM | | Molesworth, I kinda doubt we have many Stephen hawking types on this site | |
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 5/6/2008 9:33:50 PM | | I think in some ways, people who do acheive ph.d's, fields that require a lot of years in learning/training have to have a good amount of ambition to continue thru with it. After all it's Years of school after school. I think that takes a lot of focus and dedication. | |
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 5/6/2008 9:34:57 PM | Congrats on the GED! You should absolutely be proud of yourself.
Now, I'm probably going to get slammed for this, but here goes.
Differences in education levels sometimes cause problems in LTRs. It can't be helped. I'm no holder of a PhD, but I am a college graduate and my ex never finished grade 9. Unlike you he never attempted to complete his education. While he was educated in "street smarts" there were some obvious signs that proved he was uneducated in schooling.
Mispronunciation and misuse of certain words, inability to add to the conversation on some different topics and the lack of understanding on certain mathematical avenues were just some of the struggles we had. I didn't see it at first due to the whole "rose coloured glasses" thing.... but it did become a hurdle that we were never able to fully get over.
Having said that, I can understand why some have that stipulation. It's not meant to be mean, it's just their preference and would like someone who understands their goals and struggles. I have in my profile that I prefer someone who is articulate.... now for me that doesn't mean they have to have a degree in rocket science, but grammar, spelling and punctuation are important to me. Those things come from education.
Someone who is a nuclear physicist may not be comfortable with someone of my education level and that is okay because it is their preference. To each their own. | |
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 5/6/2008 10:12:00 PM | I know what you're talking about OP. They actually say that the more educated a woman is the less likely she is to get married... lol.
Personally I hold several college level creditials. Other than providing me an avenue into my career... and then furthering it along... it's really not done a lot for me personally. And even with all that time studying my first day of a career job was spent going "what did I get myself into" because I wasn't even prepared for that job. I learned more on the job in 1 month than I did at school dispite my 4.0 GPA and not allowing myself to have a life to become edumacated.
The most important things in life I learned didn't come from college... college doesn't even touch that stuff. The things I love the most, that makes the most difference to myself and others I learned outside of the classroom. In some way, I get an identity from my parchments but I also feel trapped by them. what other better things could I have done with that time? Sooo much... and yet the world turns around these pieces of paper.
I don't think someone who is uneducated is stupid or lesser... they are making different choices that is all. Some of the most successful people in our society are highschool and college drop outs. | |
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 5/6/2008 10:19:16 PM |
why must some people be so arrogant about it.
Because it's a HUGE accomplishment in their lives, and they have every right to be proud, and boast about what they've accomplished....
"Yes I have a Ph.d, so I'd like someone that can keep up with me" Thats a tad snooty if you ask me,
It's not snooty, it's just that person's preference...they prefer to have someone with smarts, instead of someone who chooses NOT to use his brain...
it makes me feel like if I don't also hold a Ph.d in Podiatry, I am unworthy of speaking to you, let alone ask you out.
That's baloney...everyone has smarts in one area or another...while a doctor may have superior skills with the human anatomy, a car mechanic has superior skills with the anatomy of a motor...there's probably a million things you could talk me under the table with...
only to finally earn my GED this year (maybe I should boast about that on my page )
ONLY??? You earned your GED this year...good for you!!! Yes, for you that might be a huge accomplishment, so boast about it if you want...congratulations!!!
So if you think not having a Ph.d or not going to college means someone is an idiot, then god knowns what you think about people like me.
Holy moly, dude, I think you're associating with the wrong people, if people you know are giving you this impression....
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 5/6/2008 10:56:34 PM | hey guys - im working towards a Ph.D!!!!!!!!!!!
SERIOUSLY!!! and im gonna shout it at the top of my freaking lungs!!!!!!!!!!!
im PROUD. i dropped out of high school, now im back with a vengaence (on myself)
im a single parent. no daddy in the pic = no money, no drama, no help.
DAMN SKIPPY im gonna "boast"
and theres a difference in reasons as to why some make it known on their profiles. you may be correct in stating some are just rude about it and are all high and mighty.
if i chose to put it in my profile, it would be because i would rather get it out of the way, then to chat/meet with someone and then end up intimidating them to the point where they can't look past it.
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 5/6/2008 11:00:21 PM | Even though I didn't turn anyone down based on education, I can definitely tell a difference when trying to talk to those who have no higher degree, have a vo-tech degree, have a Bachelor's but with high focus on just one area and going for a set career, and one with a Renaissance style education. There are people who could be smart at any of those levels, and of course, there are dumb ones at those levels, but over all, most people are fairly similar to the educational group they fall in. It's very hard to explain how the difference is there.
OP, haven't you ever met someone that you thought was dumber than a box of rocks, but they thought they were pretty smart? I'm not saying you are, but I do know of a few that I have regular interactions with that fall into that category. Their logic is flawed, their base of reference is flawed, their facts are false, and on and on. I'm sure there are some that think that way of me. A person can't really have a healthy relationship with another if they can't respect their intelligence levels. | |
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 5/6/2008 11:21:00 PM | | I have a PhD - and a bunch of other qualifications. I don't think it's anything impressive -I'm certainly not impressed by it - yes it was hard work but it doesn't make me Einstein or Gandhi... lots of people have PhDs and are completely unremarkable. In a relationship it is certainly completely irrelevant. The two people in the world whose opinions I value most are not remotely academic. However, don't underestimate the fun in "talking differential equations all day" with a boyfriend... I certainly enjoyed that kind of thing at one point, although my interests have evolved since then, to more human topics. I think the kind of intelligence that matters most is measured in the way you are in the world -- the amount of wisdom and sensitivity and compassion with which you are able to live your life. I aspire to doing better in this regard. | |
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 5/6/2008 11:31:58 PM |
at the end of the day a Ph.d is a title
its more then a title!.. it was years spent in a classroom working ur butt off 2 get that degree!.. i worked damn hard 2 get my certificate in nursing!..
and by all means 'boast' about ur GED.. don`t let fear stop ya!..  .. | |
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 5/6/2008 11:48:16 PM |
Bluntly, a person who has spent an unbelievable amount of time and money on her education is probably not going to be totally compatible with you;
Zing...borrowed the words I was gonna use...  | |
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 5/6/2008 11:53:17 PM | I am working on my Masters and have recently been accepted to a Ph.D. program. I put it on my profile in part because I was (and still am) thrilled to have gotten in, but also because that is my profession for now, and I should make that known. It also lets people get an idea of what I will be up to for the next few years. For instance, I will be changing cities when I start that program, and I will be out of the country a few times for stretches of up to three months while I do my research. And it also lets people know that I will likely be a grad student for the next 5 years or so, and will not have a full-time job for perhaps as many years after that, as academic jobs are hard to come by. And for the rest of my career I can be expected to still leave the country for months at a time to do research.
But it is also part of my identity. I often consider myself an anthropologist/archaeologist first, and a grad student second; I am producing a major research document which I intend to publish, and my thesis is just a stepping stone in my professional career (albeit a career which leaves you with great debt). I do often find myself buying into the whole Ivory Tower, though. I don't like this, as I am philosophically opposed to such elitist attitudes and whatnot, but it can be hard to escape. You aren't pushed to become elitist, but I find that it sort of just happens, particularly as you acquire and begin to use the jargon of your profession, which identifies you as being an insider of that profession, essentially. Language is such a huge part of society...
But for now, just remember the crazy life which us academics have gotten ourselves into: I am working on two papers for a conference this weekend, am volunteering for this conference, am trying to put together a first draft of my thesis, and start local fieldwork next week. This sort of workload will never end, but I love my discipline, and the over-abundance of work and lack of pay are worthwhile sacrifices for getting to dig up ancient sites! Jeeze, I need to get to bed. I am getting too philosophical... | |
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 5/7/2008 12:03:15 AM | I believe the OP is referring to the pedantic attitude that those with a Post Graduate degree may have.
I see it as well and I can keep up with most, but if they start relying entirely on their book knowledge and not their life knowledge, I get very bored very quickly.
I know a lot about many things, some about a ton more and even less about the rest.
A truly intelligent person will allow themselves to be humbled by the knowledge of others, regardless where the knowledge came from.
^^BG^^ | |
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 5/7/2008 4:54:35 AM | Well, dude, there are those w/advanced degrees that only want to date other ppl w/degrees like theirs....... then there are those w/advanced degrees who want to date other people that they like.
You need to avoid the first group and enjoy the second group.
It's pretty simple.
I have a masters degree. I don't use my degree to "match" w/men. It's part of who I am, that's all. It's part of what makes me "ME". it has nothing to do with who I am attracted to.
The guy I am with now, we have never talked about our educations. I don't know if he knows what degree I have and I don't know if he's been to college. I know he didn't like school at all and doesn't work in a "scholarly" field. But he's smart as heck and can talk to me about his beliefs in the world, the best ways to raise a child, etc. He has a daughter in college, a daughter who was in the military, a daughter in high school, and a son who works in construction. To each his own, seems to be his belief.
I did briefly date someone who insulted me. He told me he was glad he didn't have my brain because I can never turn it off. *that* pissed me off. You respect me and I'll respect you.
So avoid the snobs and enjoy the women who aren't. And BIG fat kudos to you on your GED!
Kaylie | |
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 5/7/2008 5:21:11 AM | Thomas Edison ....kicked out of school....idiot they said.
That said...yes, I've met people who are outright arrogant
and snooty over their degree.
But percentage wise, the great overwhelming majority,
people with a degree are far more warm hearted, understanding,
empathetic, able to engage people on a people level.
[more creative in certain rooms of the house too!]
Some have foibles that affect those of lesser education, times
I say...."Educated....still human"
Any one of us, degree or no degree, who can like ourselves, this
is MOST important, I have seen those who never accomplished this
essential lesson, they are miserable.
Many, many non-degreed people have succeeded without, success
as measured on many levels. | |
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K-lo
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Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 22 | |
| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 5/7/2008 8:17:19 AM | I think you've received some really great input from the posters - all of them, actually.
I do not have a Ph.D. I do have a J.D. (which is 7 years of schooling). I agree that some people probably post such information, not so much to boast, but because they are looking for someone with a similar educational background and experience. So, if you feel like "if you don't hold a Ph.D. and are unworthy of asking that person out" - then maybe that is their intention, and you should not ask them out. It's their preference, as another poster pointed out.
However, the way you describe the arrogance of people with higher degrees and the way they make you feel, just by the knowledge that they have acquired those degrees - I can't help but say you are establishing a preconceived notion that they, by default, think they are better than you and that you are inferior. So, if they do not think that way - what would they have to do to disprove your preconceived notion? You are casting a shadow on them, just as you presuppose they are doing to you.
I, personally, don't require any suitor of mine to have any type of college degree. If I want to talk "shop" all day, in my field of study, I have plenty of time to do that at work - and that's enough for me. However, I can appreciate how tiresome and frustrating it can become to have to constantly prove to your lover that you truly do not view them as inferior. And trust me, I do not flaunt my degree or "status." In fact, I try to keep it as low-key as possible. And I can't tell you how many times people I've met have dropped their jaws when they finally learned that I am an attorney and how many times I've heard, "I can't believe you're an attorney." I guess I don't act uppity enough. But I wait as long as possible - usually until specifically asked - to tell people. And I do that precisely because of people's preconceived notions and their immediate inherent reaction of being on guard and thinking, "Well, no sense in talking to her anymore!"
Honesty and modesty are not taught in any college. Don't be so sure about that. Another preconceived notion that people who go to college spend all of those years living some kind of posh life of privilege and learn nothing of the real world in their vacuum of academia. Perhaps so for some people - but that has less to do with schooling and more to do with their upbringing and lineage.
I guarantee you I lived an extremely modest life my entire 7 years of schooling, as well as during the time I was employed between undergrad and law school. I lived in dirt-cheap apartments with other equally poor students; I drove $500.00 cars until they had to go to the junkyard - or I drove no car and took the bus; I worked at Subway for 5 years of college - and at some points in undergrad I worked 4 other jobs, somehow; I had $hitty a$$ school health insurance; I relied "zero" on my family for financial support; I lived in the high-crime-rate area of the city where I had my car broken into, my apartment robbed, and where I was assaulted; and during the whole course of college, I developed strong friendships with people from all walks of life - both outside and within the college campus - including high school dropouts, as well as highly educated professionals. They all offered me value in their very special ways. I know you weren't referring primarily to being "financially modest" - but all of those things can't NOT make a person modest in life.
Anyway - for those people who are proud of their scholastic achievements - they should be. Understand that they didn't just wake up one day with a diploma in their hand. And understand that it wasn't just all of the time they spent at a desk and in a library that made them who they are. But everything else they put into making it through those years - that is how they built their character. | |
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 5/7/2008 8:35:17 AM | | I worked hard to complete two very difficult degrees in four years while working full time, and I at least want someone who is college educated. You can have a preference for whatever you want. You can call it snooty if you want, but if someone wants an educated person and you're not it that should just be a good sign that person isn't the one for you. | |
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 5/7/2008 10:56:41 AM |
I have a PhD - and a bunch of other qualifications. I don't think it's anything impressive -I'm certainly not impressed by it - yes it was hard work but it doesn't make me Einstein or Gandhi...
I have decided on the other hand that I am, in fact, Ghandi... 
I personally don't have a problem with it because I know how much work it takes to get there. I think it's something that a person should be VERY proud of and if they want to say it out loud, then that's fine with me. | |
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| Ph.d boasting
Posted: 5/7/2008 11:28:09 AM | Dang! You mean this thread isn't about Ph.D roasting?
I can't say I've seen even one woman on this site in my area who mentions having a Ph.D. or other advanced/professional degree, so I can't see how this is a huge problem - or any problem at all.
I do however see plenty who raise the old "someone that can keep up with me" red flag without any evidence that they would be able to keep up with me, or would much want the onus to have to do so placed on them.
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