| Epic Profile - Reviews Would be Lovely.
Posted: 5/8/2008 7:48:57 AM | You are very welcome to look at (and review) my profile - I would be grateful in a way that you may never experience again (it involves the gift of a limb!) It contains all the usual jokes...
Serial Killers (plus tips on how to get rid of children).
Films with Whoopi Goldberg in them, including "Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit".
Semantic Confusion ("to 'Pool' or not to 'Pool'").
Disabled Companions.
Jousting(!)
Scat.
JESSICA FLETCHER.
For a Short Time Only: Bonus Penis Comments.
You could at least pretend to have fun...right?
J. Out of season deer extra-bonus:  | |
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| Epic Profile - Reviews Would be Lovely.
Posted: 5/8/2008 7:55:30 AM | I'm sorry...If I could read it, I could review it, but I gave up after the scat comments. It is WAAAYYYY too manic for me! Maybe Deuce could help out here? lol
Here's something: Better pics would be great. (So would better text, but like I said, I couldn't read it, so I can't comment any further than that.) | |
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| Epic Profile - Reviews Would be Lovely.
Posted: 5/8/2008 8:06:46 AM | Jaysus fook....give me a moment to collect my thoughts; they seem to have been scattered all over the bloody land.
WAIT! Those were YOUR thoughts I was seeing! | |
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| Epic Profile - Reviews Would be Lovely.
Posted: 5/8/2008 8:15:48 AM | Well,the ONLY thing I can say for it is that it is VERY UNIQUE. Normally I consider this a good thing,but NOT in this case. I really can't help you because I can not comprehend the type of woman you are attempting to attract with that. Sorry dude!
Best wishes
OFCB | |
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| Epic Profile - Reviews Would be Lovely.
Posted: 5/8/2008 8:18:30 AM | Jaysus fook....give me a moment to collect my thoughts; they seem to have been scattered all over the bloody land.
WAIT! That was YOUR thoughts I was seeing! Listen dude, I'm not sure what the shizzle you were trying to accomplish there but you dove azz first out of the plane with the shoot strapped to your feet. Did I mention you are paralyzed from the neck down in this parody? Let's hope you're good with your teeth, because that stick of Juicy Fruit in your pocket, and the paperclip holding your belt together will not even help McGyver at this point.
This profile is a hang-out profile. Hang Out profiles are suspect at best to me, but when you include not even a smidgen of information about yourself I wonder what the hell is at work. The pictures are horrific. The only one that doesn't look like a webcam took it at night was taken in a semi-lit bedroom and you are turned and not smiling. If the effect you were looking for was to scare people away I think you’ll succeed here. The whole thing is like a Robot Chick episode on a speed****ail, chased with a pound of zoomers. The worst part is that it’s not even funny or mildly entertaining. It’s a massive series of constant rambling fragments that don’t tie into one another or even make sense from one juncture to the next. It may all make sense in that mind of yours but I can assure you that you are going to look long and hard before you find someone one here who is going to be able to make heads or sheep of what you just wrote. I’m not sure if this is even who are you are a person because you give the reader no glimmer as to who you are. If you want a Myspace page to blog or rant or freely interpret life then do that. This is a dating site, with an allowance for friends and networking. It’s not a blog site. I’ve got no advice. They may make a cream for this sort of thing.
EDITPOST: Giving you the benefit of the doubt here, if you are ACTUALLY looking to meet people with this monstrosity why no interests listed? Why no mention of who you are? Because that About Me surely doesn't say anything about what kind of person you are, outside of possibly insanely eccentric, or certifiably insane. Is someone telling you to smash your monitor right now as you read this? How about to go make a peanut butter and rat shit sandwich? Did you just eat your finger?
But then again you are Irish... you Mick's are a tad off. (I'm Welsh by the way... your football team sucks) ;-) | |
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| Epic Profile - Reviews Would be Lovely.
Posted: 5/8/2008 8:27:42 AM | Wow, that is the shortest review I've seen Deuce post. Ever. What did you do to him, OP?
Your profile is .... ummm... I'll get back to you on that one. It is different. Not in a good way. | |
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| Epic Profile - Reviews Would be Lovely.
Posted: 5/8/2008 8:30:32 AM | | Truly, it just comes off as silly and annoying, in my opinion. If you're going to use a profile like this, then you make it relatively short, something you would actually want to read, and something that is actually funny. This just looks like you have far too much time on your hands and tried way too hard to be funny. | |
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| Epic Profile - Reviews Would be Lovely.
Posted: 5/8/2008 8:42:08 AM | I don't know what to say, so i will just do a review on you in opera..
Ahhhhhhh! Laaaaaaaa! la, la, la, larhhhhh!!!
Ahhhhhhh! Laaaaaaaa! la, la, la, larhhhhh!!!
Ahhhhhhh! Laaaaaaaa! la, la, la, larhhhhh!!!
Ahhhhhhh! Laaaaaaaa! la, la, la, larhhhhh!!!
Ahhhhhhh! Laaaaaaaa! la, la, la, larhhhhh!!! | |
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| Epic Profile - Reviews Would be Lovely.
Posted: 5/8/2008 8:56:34 AM | | You know they make Ritalin for adults too, OP. And then there are the natural methods of controlling your ADD. I have never taken a med for it and I do just fine! | |
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| Epic Profile - Reviews Would be Lovely.
Posted: 5/8/2008 9:47:00 AM | Dear OFCB,
You've got it - because you don't know the type of woman I'd be attempting to attract with it, when I get her, everybody will be very confused about just how I got her, including herself - it's the difference between plain mysterious and having blunt-force mystique through lots and lots and lots of words. Think of me as Petruchio with a larger personality complex.
I respect your comments OFCB.
^J. | |
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| Epic Profile - Reviews Would be Lovely.
Posted: 5/8/2008 9:54:53 AM |
having blunt-force mystique through lots and lots and lots of words.
Blunt is right...instead of lots and lots or words, it sounds like lots and lots of blunt. | |
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| Epic Profile - Reviews Would be Lovely.
Posted: 5/8/2008 9:58:59 AM | | when i'm cruising profiles, i look at specific things listed in the Interests Field. i also dont want to read anything too long in the About Me area. looking at yours, i see nothing specific about your Interests, and i see way too much in the About Me to take the time to read. | |
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| Epic Profile - Reviews Would be Lovely.
Posted: 5/8/2008 10:53:26 AM |
Blunt is right...instead of lots and lots or words, it sounds like lots and lots of blunt. Square peg round hole.
And in the OP's defense he didn't say he was looking to attract anyone with his profile. It looks more like an outlet of expression than a seeking profile. Like I said before, wrong arena. | |
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| Epic Profile - Reviews Would be Lovely.
Posted: 5/8/2008 3:09:05 PM | I didn't read anyone else's comments first. I wanted to come into this one fresh.
Liked: Old, hairy women-attracting version.
Disliked: New, disjointed, headache-inducing version.
Solution: Ditch the first section. Save it for when the paparrazzi need to find some dirt on you for a celebrity expose'.
Get new pics. I wanted to see the face and eyes of the person who wrote this. Don't be shy. Don't look down. Do smile. | |
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| Epic Profile - Reviews Would be Lovely.
Posted: 5/13/2008 1:31:21 PM | Dear Deuce,
Not convinced by your argument concerning arenas, boxes and restrictions. I think those kind of things are decided by the individual - in every sense the profile is "an outlet of expression", and therefore as "About Me" as anything else I could have written. Obviously all manners of expression lead back to the self.
Thank-you very much for your comments. I realise work needs to be done.
^J | |
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| Epic Profile - Reviews Would be Lovely.
Posted: 5/13/2008 1:35:12 PM | Haha - apparently I failed across the board. I will shorten it, although I'm not sure if it will appeal to your sense of humour at any stage!
Thanks for the comments. | |
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| Epic Profile - Reviews Would be Lovely.
Posted: 5/13/2008 1:41:25 PM | Dear Suny,
I'll take this into account - I know people want to filter easily, although that's not quite the way I work personally. I'll have to compromise obviously.
^J | |
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| Epic Profile - Reviews Would be Lovely.
Posted: 5/13/2008 2:17:09 PM | I uploaded a couple of new photos in response to those who asked for face-on shots. See, I'm listening! More to do.
Thanks again,
^J | |
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| Epic Profile - Reviews Would be Lovely.
Posted: 5/13/2008 2:24:34 PM | Headline: brilliant and regrettable, just like the film.
I think I love you. Or I want to eat some grapes. I'm not sure which.
Your profile says, "Look at me, I'm fairly disturbed yet loveable and I will probably be either fantastic in bed or completely impotent."
I love that kind of conflict. Your profile gets eight thumbs up from me.
P.S. Like the new pics. | |
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| Epic Profile - Reviews Would be Lovely.
Posted: 5/14/2008 12:20:10 PM | Dear Ursula,
I have it on the authority of those without much clue in the bedroom that I am indeed the best they've ever had!
Thank-you for the photo comments!
^J | |
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| Epic Profile - Reviews Would be Lovely.
Posted: 5/14/2008 12:39:22 PM |
I have it on the authority of those without much clue in the bedroom that I am indeed the best they've ever had!
lmao... can we keep you? | |
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