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| Last Girlfriend Hanging On...
Posted: 5/8/2008 12:12:47 PM | I met a gentleman about 6 weeks ago (had emailed with him a couple of months off and on). After meeting the connection was just as great in person. We have gone out several times a week every week since and have spent the last two weekends together and everything seems wonderful….EXCEPT…
The last woman he dated doesn’t want to let go. Fortunately he told me about her early on so I wasn’t surprised. He has one of those “nice guy” personalities and hates confrontation (as do I). According to him he befriended her, both were lonely, she was going through a rough time and he let her stay at his place in the guest room on the weekends to get away. After several weekends she came into his bed one night and he admits he wasn’t going to turn her away….so a sexual relationship started. After that she started introducing herself as his fiance’ to his neighbors (when he corrected her mis-statement to the neighbors she told him he mortified her in front of them), started bringing her stuff over to his house when he was out of town (knew where he kept his spare key hidden and had her own copy made), and told him now that they had slept together, they were “married in God’s eyes”. He said he realized then he was in trouble and started trying to get closure…trying to let her down easy. But essentially she isn’t wanting to hear it…plus he definitely isn’t being as firm as he should.
Once we started dating, he told her he was seeing someone and he wanted her to stop these behaviors. She continually shows up at his house during the week with some “broken” object needing fixing…then shows up again to pick it up.
The first weekend I was there, she called repeatedly all weekend (his home phone has voice announcement of the caller id, so I knew it was her). He wouldn’t answer the phone. That Sunday she called 19 times in about 30 minutes rotating between house and cell phone. Finally, Sunday afternoon late she shows up at his house. He tells her to go away and not come back without calling first….she said she had called all day and since he wouldn’t answer she came over. She made a comment about “I would think that woman would be uncomfortable being there with my things in the bathroom and in the closet.” He had no clue what she was talking about until I mentioned that she had definitely left things in the bathroom for my benefit. He was a bit surprised by that and said that when I was hanging my clothes up he noticed she had put some of her clothes in his closet.
Last weekend, he tells me that he had told her absolutely do not call him that weekend, that he had company. She called Friday night early. I asked him to answer it so she wouldn’t call all weekend. He did and told her that he didn’t want any more calls over the weekend that he had a guest. She calls again a couple of times on Saturday. Saturday night about 10:30 a strange car pulls into the driveway turns around and starts pulling out. He sees the car and gets car and chases after it to try to determine who’s driving it. It’s HER with some “male friend”. He didn’t confront them…just confirmed it was her. He gets very upset when he returns and says he’s going to tell her to stop or he’ll get a restraining order. She calls again Sunday, I got upset and said I was going home, that I don’t want to deal with this. He says he’ll get her to stop, that she is at the point of being a stalker now and that he will threaten legal action.
He says on Monday that she called and they talked and he told her it HAD to stop, that he was seeing someone else…that she cried and said okay, she’d stop…that he didn’t have to get nasty with her. On Wednesday he said it seemed to have worked—that she hadn’t called since. He calls me this morning and while we’re on the phone, his home phone announces her call. I commented about the fact that she’s obviously still calling. He said “I don’t know what to do, I told her I can’t offer her anything in terms of a relationship, that I’m seeing someone else.” He said she is now sending emails talking about how they can at least remain friends….so the calls and emails are continuing.
I told him today that I’m not willing to see him anymore until she is totally out of the picture, that it’s like having another woman with us all the time. It seems to me he hasn’t taken a harsh enough stance with someone who, IMHO, is bordering on stalker-type behavior. As usual, I’m second guessing myself. Did I over-react? Thanks for any advice.
Rose Mary | |
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| Last Girlfriend Hanging On...
Posted: 5/8/2008 12:28:49 PM | | Wow that is sad...she is abusing his good nature. I got caught up in relationship like this similiarly one time where the other lady would never let go, but the guy on my end was manipulating us both....I don't think this sounds like the case here...he sounds like he genuinely wants this to stop, but hasn't taken legal action yet...unfortunately I think that is the only thing that will work with her....and I say that with a lot of pain that she can't leave him alone by exercising her own self discipline and realizing it is over...No one would blame you if you stepped out of the picture for a little while and said ...."I can't handle this"..."call me when this is over"....but the choice of what to do is yours.... | |
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| Last Girlfriend Hanging On...
Posted: 5/8/2008 12:30:23 PM | | It sounds like he's (now) reasonably trying to get through to her. It's obvious that he is not 'stringing her along' as he's told her about you - with you present. I'd hate to 'punish' someone who is doing their best. But I can see how the stress could be getting to you. I'd encourage him to get a restraining order. In the mean time, what about staying at your place instead of his? If this is going somewhere, you may want to tough it out. Either way, good luck. | |
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| Last Girlfriend Hanging On...
Posted: 5/8/2008 12:37:10 PM | Seems like it's too early to get involved with him. Sorry to say, but you hear mostly his side of the story. You don't know what really goes on and why she's hanging on so ferociously .. maybe because he gives her incentives by saying something that she interprets as a possibility when you are not around? And if her stuff is really still in his house... Hmmm....
I have heard guy asserting that they are "over" the ex and no more, and then I got an email form so called ex-gf claiming this and that. Question is - how would the ex- still have access to his email? Same here - how come her stuff is still in his house? In any case, I'd steer clear.. if it's been only 6 weeks, and even if everything he says is true.. still...seems more trouble than it's worth. What is so great about him that you are willing to deal with all that drama, and may I say, humiliating distasteful circumstances surrounding him? Is he a last man on Earth? NEXT!!!! | |
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| Last Girlfriend Hanging On...
Posted: 5/8/2008 12:43:47 PM | Rose Mary, I read your entire post quite closely, and IMHO, this man needs to seek a restraining order against the woman. If he is not willing to do so, her obsession will simply escalate and yet he'll have no legal recourse. This is a very dangerous situation, if it is true that he is really telling her to cease all contact and she is not "hearing" that, or at least acting on it by stopping the harassment.
Now, there are a couple of issues to look at more closely. First, do you trust that he is actually being honest when he describes their past involvement? In other words, has he minimized his interaction with her to make himself appear more available to you when you started your relationship with him? I've found this to be true on several occaisions when men have contact with an ex. They don't want it to be an issue, so they minimize or fail to fully describe the nature of their relationship. I'm not saying that your guy is lying, but I'm saying really ask yourself what your gut is saying about his integrity here. I mean, he admittedly started a sexual relationship with someone, and that almost by default, who seems a bit "off." Does he use this same level of judgment in other areas of his life?
If you believe him to be honest, he passes that hurdle, but there remains the issue of why he has not taken verifiable steps to get this woman out of his life completely. Verifiable steps, to me, would mean being able to show you an email he's sent to her or a copy of his application and affidavit for a temporary restraining order SHOWING that he has taken action to confront this problem. His desire to be the "nice guy" is very likely part of his identity and how he views himself, but that doesn't mean that it's a good thing.
If it were me, I'd have a problem with dating him simply based on how he's handled this. I'm not saying you should not date him again if he deals successfully with this stalker type, but does this type of thing "happen" to him a lot? Meaning, does he often have problems putting his priorities in order when it means he might not be able to be the "nice guy" with someone? If you go further with him in relationship, wouldn't you like to know that he would be willing to get "not nice" in order to make you a priority in his life?
That said, if you think he can get it together, or if this is truly one of those "twilight zone" experiences, I'd say stick it out with him. But watch to see if this pattern of not nipping things in the bud is one that is a habit, or just an occurrence. After all, who among us has not allowed someone surreptitiously to make a copy of our house key, start moving their stuff in, coming over and calling at all hours, and telling the neighbors they are our fiance? He let a lot of that happen. It doesn't sound like he makes great decisions.
I could be totally wrong about him, about my take on this. But my original advice still stands -- RESTRAINING ORDER. And, it's his problem. I think you did very well in how you handled the situation. | |
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| Last Girlfriend Hanging On...
Posted: 5/8/2008 12:49:37 PM | Since your guy isnt hiding anything from you, and he has been honest since the beginning..I wouldnt throw the towel in yet.
He cant help it that this woman is a couple fries short of a happy meal. (but we have all done stupid things when scorned)
I think if I were in this position, I would help him ride it out. If she dosent stop then he should consider taking legal action..It isnt the nicest thing to do and should only be done in worse cases..but this sounds pretty bad!!.
best wishes to you both | |
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| Last Girlfriend Hanging On...
Posted: 5/8/2008 12:56:32 PM | No, you didn't second guess yourself and you're not over-reacting.
This is NOT normal and your reaction is completely within reason and normal.
My #1 concern is that he's somehow leading her on... perhaps when you're not around, he could be telling her a different story. I guess I'm leary because it sort of happened to me. In front of me, he'd tell her that he had company, but behind my back it was much different.
If you feel confident that is not what is happening, then my next concern is that he's spineless. This lady is clear a stalker. There is no "if's, and or buts" about it. She's coo-coo for cocoa puffs. This is psycotic behavior and he needs to get a restraining order. At a minimum, he needs to make a formal complaint with the police. He needs to document her repeated phone calls and her unannounced/unwelcomed visits.
I'm sure this guy is probably a "nice guy" and doesn't want to hurt this gal or have a huge confrontation, but by allowing her to stay at his house, bring things over, fixing her broken items, he's just not drawing the line in the sand.
You are foolish to put up with this type of behavior. He needs to grow some brass ones and do the right thing. If he's unwilling to take the steps to get her out of his life, once and for all, then he's not going to EVER be the man you needs.
Draw a line in the sand... you'll see where he stands pretty fast and that is your answer.
Good luck! | |
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| Last Girlfriend Hanging On...
Posted: 5/8/2008 1:06:52 PM | There's a couple of things he's doing that makes me question his real intent. No offense, but you said he told her 'not to come by without calling first.' Why didn't he tell her never to come by again?
Also he told her not to call on the weekend. Does that mean it was okay for her to call during the week? He may be leaving a door open for her, so to speak.
Further, he got into his car to chase her down? While you were there with him? All these things don't add up to me. I'm not convinced that HE is convinced he's done with her. Just saying. | |
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| Last Girlfriend Hanging On...
Posted: 5/8/2008 1:11:23 PM | | re ^, way to go SWSpice. These points bothered me, as well. The one and only thing he should have said to this woman was "DO NOT CONTACT ME EVER AGAIN. I AM NOT INTERESTED IN CONTINUING ANY KIND OF RELATIONSHIP OR FRIENDSHIP WITH YOU. IF YOU CONTACT ME AGAIN, IN ANY WAY, I WILL CONTACT THE POLICE." The "don't call this weekend, I have company" routine leaves the door way, way open for contact when you are not around. And, if he's simply making sure she contacts him when you're not around, that's a huge problem, too. | |
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| Last Girlfriend Hanging On...
Posted: 5/8/2008 1:21:16 PM | Thanks to all for the comments….I appreciate them.
Locario....thanks for your insight....always wise.
but does this type of thing "happen" to him a lot? Meaning, does he often have problems putting his priorities in order when it means he might not be able to be the "nice guy" with someone? If you go further with him in relationship, wouldn't you like to know that he would be willing to get "not nice" in order to make you a priority in his life?
...you're dead on. I need to know that I'm worth taking a stand for....that I am more important than possibly hurting her feelings. Thanks for the support and wisdom.. 
SWSpice said
Also he told her not to call on the weekend. Does that mean it was okay for her to call during the week? These 2 things both say he is leaving a door open for her still.
Further, he got into his car to chase her down? While you were there with him? All these things don't add up to me. I'm not convinced that he is convinced he's through with her. Just saying.
These are my concerns as well, SWSpice…it’s like his comments leave openings for her in terms of later.
As I said, I have my own issues with not being as tough as I should at times, but I eventually get there once I’m pushed enough. In my view she has “pushed way more than enough” and he should have put his foot down by now. I’m sure she’s hoping her visits and calls will tick me off, I’ll end it and she’ll be back…and I held off for a couple of weeks with that in mind. But enough is enough.
I have told him I won’t see him again until this is settled once and for all, but just needed reassurance I wasn’t being over-reactive. Thanks again for all the comments.
Rose Mary | |
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| Last Girlfriend Hanging On...
Posted: 5/8/2008 2:08:18 PM | I had a relationship/friendship with a man who was a good friend of mine. This relationship was sexual at one point, but had long since become a platonic friendship by the time I had met and began dating a new man. I was honest and explained to the guy I had started seeing and he was okay with accepting this friendship... UNTIL, some lines began being crossed by my ex friend. I had never made a stand for myself until my ex friend had started crossing some lines that I thought were inappropriate. He began showing some "obvious" disrespect toward the fact I was involved with another man. I did NOT need to wait for the man I was seeing/dating to tell me how horrible or uncomfortable it made him feel. I loved this man, i put myself in his shoes as instant as the inappropriate actions/words came out of my ex friend's mouth. That was when I realized I too had to prioritize. I knew someone was going to be hurt no matter what direction i chose, but in all honesty, there was ONLY ONE direction in my heart that i was going. Did I want to hurt my friend? HECK NO!!! I pride myself on being "the nice girl" too. But... Did I love and want to continue a relationship with the guy I was seeing/dating? HECK YEAH!!! There was ONLY ONE WAY to show him I would not ever place his feelings second and I did just that. I don't even know if he ever knew I did it, THAT was NOT important, what was, and always will be, is that I will place the man I am with above all other men.
The others have stated some very wise points for you to see that your actions have justification to them. IMO you did the right thing, now hopefully he will too. GL | |
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| Last Girlfriend Hanging On...
Posted: 5/8/2008 2:18:04 PM | I only went to the 3rd paragraph.
Here is my 2 cents worth.
If he wanted her gone, she'd be gone. Period.
Once I read that she drops a "broken" object off then picks it up, I was done reading.
Enough said.
Passive men are not my cup of tea...even hearing about them is too much for me.
lol | |
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| Last Girlfriend Hanging On...
Posted: 5/8/2008 2:19:45 PM | Well from what I see, from what you write:-
He wants her to call, it gives him a kick to see your reaction, or he would have changed the number. (very easy to change numbers and buy new phones).
He also gets a kick out of you finding her stuff in the bathroom, bedroom and every other room, or it would be in a black bin bag outside with the rest of the trash.
He calls you while she is ringing him - WTF!!!!!
Come on lady you sound like you have a brain, you are being played in some horrid game here:-
What does he mean when he says I ask her not to call when you are here? Presuming when you are not there she is allowed in, to call, to do what the heck she likes with someone who is supposed to be with you.
RUN RUN RUN and dont look back | |
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| Last Girlfriend Hanging On...
Posted: 5/8/2008 2:34:30 PM | SummerDayze, I'm not the OP, but I wanted to thank you directly for your post. Wow! You could not have expressed more beautifully the stance that all of us long for our beloveds to take. I liked what you wrote so much that I'm printing it out and I'm going to post it in a prominent place where I can read it a few times in the next few days. Quite unknowningly you've managed to clarify my own thinking on dealing with a situation with my own s.o.
I, like you, would be quick to set a boundary, to hold it firmly in place and not to let the encroachment get to the point where my love needs to say "hey, are you planning, ever, to deal with this situation that I find uncomfortable/inappropriate?" I myself, while far from perfect, am quick to guard a relationship, and to put the love of my life first above the opinions and needs of others. And I think people deserve someone who'll give them the same consideration they themselves offer freely.
Thanks again for your post, SummerDayze. | |
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| Last Girlfriend Hanging On...
Posted: 5/8/2008 3:17:07 PM | | I have to agree with SummerDayze and locario. It is almost exactly a year since I broke up with a very nice man over one of his "exes". I understood that they were friends. I understood that her being part of his life is part of what makes him the man he is today, but she was constantly putting me down and he didn't stop it. As nice as he is he could not understand how hearing day in and day out that she was telling him that I am a gold-digger, out of his class because I don't earn as much, etc just hurt. It caused me to throw in the towel. Yes, setting boundaries is vital or there cannot be a relationship. | |
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| Last Girlfriend Hanging On...
Posted: 5/8/2008 4:39:52 PM | You put up with all this?
For myelf, I would not.
He and she seem to have this 'dance' they do.
If you had any relationship with him then he would have a restraining order on her as she obviously feels she has this 'right'.
I won't go into into, but my last serious bf had a similiar but not so much ill mental health with his ex fiance and ex wife.
Always intruding on a lifestyle that we had that left little time to have any time alone.
I think he seems to be a wuss ass as you said, sounds like you will do what you want.
Hope it all goes good for you. | |
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| Last Girlfriend Hanging On...
Posted: 5/8/2008 6:53:27 PM | Thanks to everyone for the open and honest opinions and suggestions. I truly appreciate them and am confident now that I made the right decision. Too many years of being told I'm "too sensitive" has made me question my own good sense sometimes. 
Rose Mary | |
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| Last Girlfriend Hanging On...
Posted: 5/8/2008 7:06:24 PM | OP...
This is not uncommon. The problem is that guy.
YOU have to look at things for what is right for you. You have no right to try to change things. You are dating a jerk who is mired in a mess that is HIS!
Until jerk gets some backbone, you will always be sharing in his life with all present and sundry.
If I were you, I wouldn't have even started with him. I would've told him that I don't go out with men who have yesterday's and today's baggage still being toted around in his little red wagon. It is not my role to help clean his "house". End of story. | |
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| Last Girlfriend Hanging On...
Posted: 5/8/2008 7:40:45 PM | I'll tell you what OP...If I would have known back then all the drama I was going to have to put up with with Welder's ex, I would have probably had second thoughts about getting into a relationship with him. She calls...she e-mails...she opens up accounts and connects them to him...she showed up at my work a few times....she has showed up at my mother's house....she's called the cops and told them that Welder was trying to abduct his kids...the list goes on and on and on and on.
At first it was just calls and e-mails. About 6 months into our relationship when she (I think) finally realized that she had no chance with him...she got worse. Funny thing is...they hadn't been together in like 2.5 years when I met him. The only time he spoke to her was when he would try to see his kids (which she never lets him).
Her most recent 'attack' was calling DSS on us and telling them that there was suspected sexual misconduct between Welder and my 5 month old daughter. It did bite her in the ass though...because when she made her report, my daughter was still in the middle of her 75 day stay at the hospital (she was premature). So, when DSS showed up and said that they needed to look around my house and see my daughter I was like 'Well, you can look around all you like, but you'll have to drive to Chapel Hill inorder to see her". The woman did a double take and apologized for intruding in my home.
You did the right thing. If I would have known then what I know now I would have done the same thing.
For your friend...I suggest he change his numbers, block her from e-mailing him, and take out a restraining order that way she isn't allowed on his property. Also change the locks!!!
~Welder's Girl~ | |
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| Last Girlfriend Hanging On...
Posted: 5/8/2008 7:45:43 PM | Rose Mary - you definitely made the right decision. I think SummerDayze said it best.... and I love her post.
I have been in a similar situation to him and I saw that it ended. I dated a man for a few months who stalked me, parking in my driveway every weekend, sending me mile long emails of pure hatred, etc. I called the police, and when they found out he had a "known mental issue" (he was bi-polar) they refused to do anything. So, I got in touch with a very good friend, and he pretended to be my new boyfriend. We hung out every possible weekend for quite a while.... and it sent the stalker away. While I felt sorry for the man, as I truly understood he was not malicious or mean by nature, I also felt that he was violating MY boundaries. We truly have to take care of ourselves first, or we are useless to everyone around us..... and standing up for ourselves is just the beginning of that. The best thing out of it all was that it strengthened my friendship with the man who was my "new boyfriend"... and he is still one of my best friends. | |
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| Last Girlfriend Hanging On...
Posted: 5/8/2008 8:00:21 PM | SummerDayze...I wanted to email a thank you for your post, but am restricted by gender. Please know I appreciate your candor and your sharing this experience. Your comments were wise and insightful as many here have pointed out. Thanks again!
Rose Mary | |
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| Last Girlfriend Hanging On...
Posted: 5/8/2008 8:03:10 PM | | Well my story is a little different but... I dated a woman in NYC, she had a great job. We only went out 4 or 5 times, I didn't think this was for me, so I told her sorry it's over. She took it to some other place altogether, sent flowers, balloons to the office, left 15 voice mails on home number and cell each day. I changed cell and home, then she started waiting for me outside my office. I only spoke with her a couple of times, repeating this was not for me, I did threaten Police but felt sorry for her and did not want to create a problem for her job with some court action. After 10 days of showing up seemingly wherever I went. (She was in same business new people in my company) She finally sent me pictures of her in wedding dress and others not ....so...lets say rather personal. I know, by now you think I should have tried to have her committed but I just didn't want to go there. I took 2 week vacation, then worked out of other office for a month. While it never completely went away, it got better. Finally I moved to Atlanta and it stopped. I know you'll flame me, BUT I could not bring myself to go to the law. She had an older daughter, a good job, I thought I had done something wrong or that was how it felt to me. I don't know about your guy, I know this just made me feel sick, so I did nothing. Maybe I was wrong, maybe your guy is reacting the same way. Talk to him, see if it's the same. Sorry to all this upsets. Bob | |
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| Last Girlfriend Hanging On...
Posted: 5/8/2008 9:15:44 PM | bob, I sure don't think anyone here is going to flame you for reacting in a very compassionate way to a CRAZY PERSON! But, I think you have to draw the line somewhere on what you're willing to allow a disturbed and deranged individual to make you do to adjust your life so that you can be compassionate and not mess up her life. I mean, you made serious and life-altering adjustments to YOUR life because you did not want to be mean to someone who is harassing you? Compassion is one thing, but allowing someone to essentially control your actions by you having to manage your life to avoid them -- that just seems a little off to me.
By the way, I do get your point -- no matter what the the OP's boyfriend may have done to dissuade his ex from disrupting his current life, he can't be held responsible for what the EX herself chooses to do. I think I did say if this was a totally "twilight zone" type thing, that the OP should stick it out with the fella. Your experience certainly would seem to qualify as what I would say is a "twilight zone" experience, but I sure hope you WANTED to move to Atlanta, otherwise you sure let someone else dictate a lot of your life by her actions.
If the OP's boyfriend is worth his salt and is serious about pursuing relationship with her, he will take any steps necessary to remove this person from his life, once and for all. And some people don't hear so well, so he may have to drop the compassion act. Or, alternatively, the OP and this guy can engage in a lot of re-direction and mis-direction and try to deflect the ex. That seems like a lot of work for a problem that the OP did not even contribute to making. In your own scenario, you don't mention a subsequent girlfriend, so I'll assume you did not have one while you were dealing with your stalker. If you had had a girlfriend, would you have understood her reluctance to get further involved with and attached to you unless and until you took steps to resolve the matter? | |
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| Last Girlfriend Hanging On...
Posted: 5/8/2008 10:16:30 PM | Bob....sorry about your experience....thank you for sharing it. I know that must have been difficult.
As an update to all, I talked to my gentleman friend tonight. He admitted that her behavior had become nearly stalkerish. He explained a situation with the ex-girlfriend that had made him very hesitant to pull out the big guns...which helped me understand his hesitancy. However, with that in the open, we were able to discuss his options and that he COULD in fact still be firm with her. I pointed out the how his prior statements to her had left the possibility for her to call or come by at other times...which he says was not his intent...he had just been trying to soften the blow.
He said he realized that his failure to take care of this was causing me discomfort and that he needed to handle it forcefully. I explained that this isn't just ME...that I could GUARANTEE that any woman he might date in the future would have the same reaction to this woman's behavior and his failure to deal with it. I mentioned that I had posted this in the forum as I questioned myself and that he should feel free to check out the reactions.
He kept assuring me he has no interest in her and I told him that was not the issue...that he and I cannot attempt to travel down a road to see where this relationship might go if his ex keeps jumping in the middle of the road. He seemed to understand that and said he will tell her not to call or email him anymore and definitely not to come by his house PERIOD. He is packing up the last few things she had left at the house and is dropping them off to her so she won't come over again.
Whether the ex will "hear" him is another story....but he has agreed that if she calls while I am there he will answer the call so she doesn't repeatedly call. I can then hear for myself what she is being told. I am willing at this point to give him the benefit of the doubt with the understanding that there can be no more "kind heartedness" and that the need may be there to threaten legal action if it persists.
I truly don't want to dismiss someone who is having problems with a person who can't understand some part of "no", but I know he has to make himself VERY CLEAR and leave no openings with her. So far our discussion this evening has provided us a good opportunity for even more openness and communication, and some joint problem solving....critical components of a relationship. Now we'll see if the resolve and follow through are there. Hopefully the issue will be resolved...if not...I'll be traveling the road a while longer alone.
Thanks again to all who shared their thoughts and experiences.
Rose Mary | |
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| Last Girlfriend Hanging On...
Posted: 5/8/2008 11:19:19 PM | | In answer to you question, no I did not move to Atlanta because of her. My daughters both live in Atlanta now and it is a special time in they're lives. Additionally I have had, lets say 9/11 issues that led me to leave NYC. I will not go much beyond saying it was emotionally difficult to stay there any longer. But on point, there was no significant other in my life at the time. Should I have been confronted with that issue I know I could not have remained silent and would have sought legal recourse, for her, if not for me. I have a compassion for people, even if disturbed. Who among us know what goes through someones head to lead to this behavior. It did give me pause at the time to reflect on what so many women must feel when a man does this kind of thing. While it made me feel sick, I cn only imagine the fear it must evoke in a woman. Again Rosemary, I am glad your situation has reached some level of resolution. If my posts have helped I am glad.Bob | |
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