| A bum of a question
Posted: 5/8/2008 9:43:11 PM | Your in your 8 month of dating and you take your girlfriend on a cruise. Your drinking one day at the beach toward the end of the day the two of you are headed back to the ship. You stop by a bar situated near the cruise ship and see a couple that you know from the cruise and the couple is conversing with a worthless bum. The bum makes a comment about your girlfriend covering up because her cleavage is showing. The bum and your girlfriend exchange a couple of words . The bum leaves and comes back more drunk than before and is shooting his mouth of to your girlfriend and everybody else. What would you do?
1 Tell the bum to shut up
2 Just leave the bum alone and leave with your girlfriend to the ship
3hang out with the bum and be buddy's
4 buy the bum a drink
I chose answer number 2
Was I in the right?
My girlfriend got mad because I didnt choose answer 1 not only did she get mad but she cussed my out called me every name in the book which lead to a heated fight and her breaking up with me when we got home.
Was my girlfriend in the right?
Your insight and feedback would be useful . Please place your comments and answers to the questions here | |
|
| A bum of a question
Posted: 5/8/2008 9:47:40 PM | Bums can stab you with a knife or a broken bottle.
Your girlfriend surely can't believe her 'honor' is worth you or her dying over. Bums are bums because, the safest thing to assume, is they are mentally unstable people with nothing to lose by biting you and stabbing you for little provocation.
Now, I think the comment about him being a 'worthless' bum is a bit much... because all people have the potential for worth -- but to instigate a fight with someone like that is unwise for any number of reasons. Least of all because he was checking out your girlfriend's tits to put in his 'file for later' | |
|
| A bum of a question
Posted: 5/8/2008 9:49:02 PM | I vote for #2 as well..... even verbal fighting can escalate quickly into something worse when there is alcohol involved.
It's a shame your girlfriend can't see that. While I sort of understand her wanting you to stand up for her, she should see that you were actually protecting her by just removing you both from the situation.
Kudos to you heartwinners.  | |
|
| A bum of a question
Posted: 5/8/2008 9:49:37 PM | | I would have picked #2 as well. Why escalate a situation when it is easy to remove yourself from it? | |
|
| A bum of a question
Posted: 5/8/2008 9:50:10 PM | I wouldnt have left it up to you and then ****ed cuz you didnt do what I could have done myself---------popped him in the kisser!! | |
|
| A bum of a question
Posted: 5/8/2008 9:55:22 PM | 1 is way too tame for what I'm like to bums. I will not write some of the things I've said to them either.
Rock On.
 | |
|
| A bum of a question
Posted: 5/8/2008 9:58:11 PM | | Bums have a right to their opinions too. Where wer you, Bahama's or something. THey have the same rights. Good friend took it personally because maybe she really did look like a whore. I would have let my bf choose #2 and would have been fine with it, unless you were scared of him. | |
|
| A bum of a question
Posted: 5/8/2008 10:29:28 PM | yes definitely #2..
I had a situation happen to me a few months ago. I was at a bar with a date and a much younger man wanted to dance with me. He was obviously drunk.. but I danced with him a little bit and he complimented me on how good I looked.. then he started holding me real close and tried to feel me up a little.. I was pushing him away but he was bigger than me. My date, who was a wise man, put a big smile on his face.. edged his way between me and the guy.. handed me my purse which he had been holding for me while I danced with the guy.. and he said "hold on there fella..she is with me".. and he wisked me away out the door.
Man I loved that.. no scene.. no bloody noses.. but he protected me and "got us the heck outa Dodge"!!
Mature men handle conflict peacefully if at all possible and they difuse the situation.
You did the right thing.. sorry she didn't see it that way.. but she sounds like trouble and someone who likes drama. | |
|
| A bum of a question
Posted: 5/8/2008 10:59:09 PM | If she left you over this, may just be a good thing.
shooting his mouth of to your girlfriend and everybody else
Generally speaking. I have a strong dislike for any raining on parades. Also into trying to avoid them if I can. But there's a time when you just have to draw the line. If someone gets in your ladies face, just have to take one for the team there. | |
|
| A bum of a question
Posted: 5/8/2008 11:43:58 PM | It's always best to take the "Mr. Myagi" approach to situations like that.....
"Best way to avoid punch.......no not be dere.".....
You never know what a guy like that may have in his pocket. And you WERE the tourist....They've seen a million of 'em....never get in an altercation with a stranger in a strange land if you can avoid it.
It's only when there is 'no other option' that you should have said or done anything.... | |
|
| A bum of a question
Posted: 5/9/2008 12:04:43 AM | I wouldnt need my bf to step up and defend my honor because i would be telling him to shut up myself | |
|
| A bum of a question
Posted: 5/9/2008 12:14:46 AM | Ahhh, and a gem by poster/msg #7 :"Bums have a right to their opinions too. Where wer you, Bahama's or something. THey have the same rights. Good friend took it personally because maybe she really did look like a whore."
****Ya, ngat73, first off, make sense when you post ~ that was a mess. The OP did not say ANYTHING about his girl looking like a whore. The 'bum' made a comment about her cleavage... Did ya think of the fact they were on vacation and MAYBE she was still in her bathing suit top, as they came back inland?? YES!! what a whore!!!Bums/azzholes have a right to their opinion but they also have the option to keep their mouths SHUT and not make a problem where one need not be.
Hence, the dude is a jackoff. Not 'cause of any other reason then he is looking for BS where he should not be... You defend this...Good for you!! Woohhh ~ hope you don't come off of a beach one day and have some nut hassle the heck out of you! I am quite sure you would not be like "Well, I am wearing a bathing suit top, or not alot of clothing in 100 degrees, so I deserve this."
Idiot.
Yes, OP #2 was correct. No need to get into it with some weirdo that thinks he is all right for shooting his mouth off... If your gal got pissed and got into it with him - that's when u do exactly what you did...leave unwell enough alone. The way I see it, clocking the mess and getting yourself into trouble would only make things worse and if your g/f could not see that ~ she is just, well not thinking right.
I never encourage my man to get into it with a stranger or anyone for that matter... Smile and wave and for Heavens sakes, get into it with a 'bum' type person? So not worth it. Try caring about both of your safety (which you did OP) and doing the right thing to chill the situation out, not bring it to unknown places. See, this is what me and my guy would be laughing about on our way back to our room...NOT fighting about it.
Like, OK one more person on this planet I am SOOO glad I am not! | |
|
| A bum of a question
Posted: 5/9/2008 12:17:49 AM | | If It was me I would uy the bum a drink. I'm a bartender and the best way to defuse a situation is to be nice but not too friendly. If she was uncumfortable in what she had on she should not have been wearing it in the first place.That and any woman that needs a man to fight her battles is looking for attention. If she had been by her self what would she have done? Just remember that we r not the weeker sex we just let you think that. | |
|
| A bum of a question
Posted: 5/9/2008 12:30:45 AM | Sticks and stones.
If I some how find myself around, say, mosquitos , I am not going to stand there and take their bloodsucking commentary, no, I'm walking away.
It's not worth putting anyone in danger, it's not worth going to jail, and unless someone has put their hands on me I believe my "honor" stands for itself.
How does one best honor ones self in a dispute with a {drunken bum}?
1. Get under the table drunk and exchange banterings.
2. Get into a fist fight and go to jail.
3. Get into and fight and go to hospital
4. Get on with your festivities and leave.
The only one a person can control is ones self. Circumstance doesn't make the person, it reveal the person.
Happy Sailing | |
|
| A bum of a question
Posted: 5/9/2008 12:38:25 AM | i'd dump you.
i wouldn't want to be with someone who regards other people as worthless, whether they got in my face or not. | |
|
| A bum of a question
Posted: 5/9/2008 1:39:55 AM | | Getting into a verbal confrontation with an abusive drunk would be a very stupid thing to do. If you got dumped over this, you're probably better off without her. | |
|
| A bum of a question
Posted: 5/9/2008 2:12:04 AM | One time I was getting money out of the ATM late at night, downtown. A bum made a b-line for me and asked me for money - which of course he obviously saw me withdraw.
I told him "no." He said, "I heard you give good head." As if that's going to hurt my feelings?? So, I said, "you heard right."
Bums are bums. When they are belligerent - you have to kill them. I pick option E. | |
|
| A bum of a question
Posted: 5/9/2008 2:16:54 AM | I'd tell him I was going to give him 100 dollars to help him back on his feet, but his mouth fuked that up for him. If I had cash on me, I would show it to him. Did I go swimming? If so, doubt I'd have cash, but then again, I'm drunk so who knows. I would then proceed to pick on him and embarrass him til he cried. If things turned violent, I'm sure I could kick a drunk bums ass. And if not, I need my ass kicked, since that would mean I'm out of practice and could use it.
Or, I would just pee on him. | |
|
| A bum of a question
Posted: 5/9/2008 2:35:01 AM | """"Your drinking one day at the beach toward the end of the day the two of you are headed back to the ship. You stop by a bar situated near the cruise ship and see a couple that you know from the cruise and the couple is conversing with a worthless bum. The bum makes a comment about your girlfriend covering up because her cleavage is showing"""
Well, bums drink a lot, I don't expect much normal behavior from them. You know what I mean? | |
|
| A bum of a question
Posted: 5/9/2008 2:41:39 AM | Maybe he just said what no one else had the courage to say.
I think you did the right thing. It was not worth either of you getting hurt over. | |
|
| A bum of a question
Posted: 5/9/2008 2:57:02 AM |
2 Just leave the bum alone and leave with your girlfriend to the ship
This is the sensible option. Walk away, put the [non] incident behind you and move on.
If she wanted you to defend her "honour " ie: question one, then she needs to get over herself.
In my opinion, you chose the right option. | |
|
| A bum of a question
Posted: 5/9/2008 3:09:07 AM | Aaaahhh, extended vactions, the make or break of all relationships...
I would definately choose number 2. Any guy (bum or not) that comments on a lady's breasts while her boyfriend is standing right there is probably just looking for a fight. I find it odd that she was so offended that she was fighting with him. Wait... you didn't say the location stop of the cruise ship or what kind of cruise. Was it a religious cruise for the Amish? Was everyone else fully clothed? Or did the cruise stop in a middle-eastern country where women have to be covered from head to toe? Was she under-dressed for the culture? In that case, the bum was right and I choose option 5. tell your girlfriend to shut up and put on more clothes. | |
|
| A bum of a question
Posted: 5/9/2008 3:25:05 AM | | You know the answer yourself... if you are an adult | |
|
| A bum of a question
Posted: 5/9/2008 3:29:11 AM | | # 2 wouldn't of made me mad... actually it's a pretty smart choice. I think I would of been the one to tell the guy to shut up, lol. Then again, I don't need a man to defend me, I do that well on my own. Long as you didn't be buddy's with him or buy him a drink I wouldn't be mad. So I think she overreacted. | |
|
| A bum of a question
Posted: 5/9/2008 3:31:34 AM | ^^^Yes, those first trips away together can be brutal on a relationship. 
But on topic...sounds like the GF was the confrontational sort. I'd be curious to know what it was she said to the bum during the first exchange. Chances are that sat in the bum's head and stewed, along with whatever he was drinking, and that's what made him decide to come back for round 2. And the OP definitely did the right thing in choosing to go back to the ship rather than stay and potentially get in a brawl in a foreign country. Discretion is the better part of valor in those circumstances.
The only part of this where I can see the GF perhaps had a small point was on the initial comments. If it had been me and a drunk said something to my lady friend, I would have said spoken to the guy before she had to speak up for herself, nothing confrontational, just something along the lines of, "Hey pal, why don't you just move along." or something to that effect, and try to defuse the situation. But he definitely did the right thing walking away from a situation like that once it escalated. | |
|
Home
login 
