| profile help please !
Posted: 5/9/2008 6:36:57 AM | | hey, would anyone be so kind as to have a quick look at my profile and let me know where i am going wrong ? i have had my profile on plenty of fish now for months and i am yet to get talking to anyone !! my profile seems to get bypassed or lost among the crowd, it just doesnt stand out, and i would appriciate some feedback and tips on how to make it better :D ... I'm determined to get a date at least !! lol Ive tried my best to make it interesting and original and not like every other profile, but its difficult without coming across a complete fruitcake ! ha ha so please if you have any tips on how to create a GOOD profile please help me out! also if anyone has any good idea's for an eye catching headline too, i just cannot think of one! i dont want to use the lame ones like "looiking for a soulmate" lol just way too cheesy for me ha ha i want something interesting that will make people stop and read! anyway thanks in advance for any help, cheers! | |
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| profile help please !
Posted: 5/9/2008 6:39:14 AM | sorry to be an A$$hole, but how did Kelly Osborne grow up so quick?
Had to say it. | |
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| profile help please !
Posted: 5/9/2008 7:02:30 AM | Yummy Mummy,
Hey, how you doing?
You shoud think about not starting out with this. The ONLY time this ever sounded good was when Joey from Friends said it, and even then it got old. It just sounds terrible, if you ask me.
First off, check the spelling and grammar...your profile also does not flow well. Your thoughts are scattered, and could be organized more efficiently. Break it up into a few small paragraphs. Double space between them. (Good format: who you are as a person, what you like to do, what you are looking for.) The flow is interrupted by random lols everywhere. Just be funny, no need to specify this multiple times, and it really does break it up, making it NOT pleasant to read.
Your pics look good, but your headline kind of sucks. Try coming up with something better.
You sound negative in your profile. Often. The pubs and clubs blah blah, you have already read this a million times....take that out. If someone is taking the time to read your profile, you are leaving them feeling cheated. You can say you don't want to sound like everyone else, but like the same things as normal people. That's okay to say. No time wasters...I just said this to another person, so I will say it to you: This sounds negative, and even those who live their lives fully still waste time. Instead say how you do not like to waste time. That is more constructive, but it can be construed as you like to jump into things.
The part about girly girls making you cringe also comes off negatively. Try saying this in a different way, if you feel the need to say it. In your profile it already says you are looking for long term, so the sentence about one night stands and quickies is redundant. Delete.
Start with these tips, and we will go from there. | |
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| profile help please !
Posted: 5/9/2008 7:10:39 AM | Hi Jen, your profile is certainly not terrible , but I do not see it standing out of the crowd either. You do NOT describe yourself, or the man you would like to meet. Do a search on my posts, and you will see this explained IN DETAIL in a lot of different ways. It is my "pet peeve" LMAO Also,check out "profile writing tips" at the top of this forum page, good guidelines to follow in there.
Best wishes
OFCB | |
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| profile help please !
Posted: 5/9/2008 7:22:59 AM | Adding to what nursegirl said, I don’t like the “you will learn to love me” lines. I think they are cheap and forceful, not to mention negative. Is mom your profession? If it is the line then yummy mummy is cute. If not it’s tacky, but at least you didn’t say MULF, right before you tell us you don’t do casual sex. Did I mention the slew of sexual innuendos throughout your profile? I’m not sure if that was your angle but if so it was well received. I see your profile as one of those sending mixed messages. You know, the ones where they say NO HOOKUPS, and then in the first message they are asking you if your place or hers is better. Just consider what you want to portray here and then consider revision. Also, when you stress something a LOT of the time it’s a cover up. If you stress how funny you are you probably aren’t funny. Same as with being sexy, cute, smart, good at sports, creative/artistic, successful in life, rich, and yes… being against casual sex.
Lose the illiterate teen talk also, and the incessant LOL’s in the middle of sentences. LOL’s are good replacements for the lack of body language on here but they have a place.
No mention of what kind of man you are seeking. If you want Long Term you must have a clear description of what he should be!
And yes, the thoughts are pretty scattered. I found the text hard to read. I’d also consider losing the “take care for now, love from Jen” bit. And try and add a bit more to your First Date section to liven it up a bit. A game of bowling isn’t exactly a riveting first date. Good luck! | |
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| profile help please !
Posted: 5/9/2008 10:17:57 AM | | thanks for the tips, i took on board what you all said, and ive made some changes, well i changed the whole thing! does it sound any better? if not a little boring now, any more tips ? | |
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| profile help please !
Posted: 5/9/2008 11:05:53 AM | Somebody fun and interesting, who can make me laugh, so a good sense of humour is essential. I would also like to meet somebody who is caring, considerate and thoughtful too.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, sorry sweetie,this says nothing. Do you know ANYONE that doesn't want all of those things? These are what I call "assumed qualities". They are good qualities, of that there is NO doubt. BUT , how many people do you know that would admit that they are UNCARING,INCONSIDERATE,THOUGHTLESS, and have no SENSE OF HUMOR? The things you need to list are "personality traites that make us unique individuals. To give you some examples, adventurous,oldfashioned, submissive, passionate, intense, aggressive, passive, etc. THESE are personality traits,only YOU can possibly know your preferences. You really need to name them if you want to attract the right one for you. Let me try it this way. No one likes to be rejected,this means that the more confidence that YOU can instill in a mans mind that if HE writes, YOU will respond, the greater the chance he will " risk rejection". Make sense?
Best wishes
OFCB | |
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| profile help please !
Posted: 5/10/2008 2:32:52 AM | | lol im not very good at this am i haha hmm back to the drawing board lol! thanks for your help :) | |
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| profile help please !
Posted: 5/10/2008 4:16:48 AM | lol wut i have no idea lol wat you are saying in your posts lol they are disjointed like me lol... haha lol :) Seriously, your profile is written understandably, but your posts are in a foreign dialect of some sort. If your emails are similar, I can see people gouging their eyes out rather than chatting.
"I am looking for a guy who doesnt mind the fact that I have children, who likes to do similar things to me." - awesome. You do not actually list a single interest anywhere. We all use computers, movies, music, DVDs, pubs and clubs are part of every normal persons life. They are not 'interests'. It also means you will not come up in any searches.
Sure, you have kids, in a demographic in which that is normal. Three kids mean the guy is number four in your priorities and that is not a turn on to many people. This is just a point, not a criticism. On the other hand, this is- find a better hair stylist. | |
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| profile help please !
Posted: 5/10/2008 4:34:49 AM | wow there was no need to be so rude! and this coming from somebody with no profile picture! and yes i have three children and yes they will always be my first priority and that i am proud of ! i would rather stay single forever than put anyone before my children, and tbh if men have your attitude towards them then i give up right now!  | |
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| profile help please !
Posted: 5/10/2008 4:51:59 AM | Originally posted by aphrodite
wow there was no need to be so rude! and this coming from somebody with no profile picture! and yes i have three children and yes they will always be my first priority and that i am proud of ! i would rather stay single forever than put anyone before my children, and tbh if men have your attitude towards them then i give up right now!
Waffles...
Funny that I was just fiddling and put a picture back up, but there is one now. If you actually read the profile you would see why there was none... but hey, that is asking a lot.
gone to find somebody in the real world, this internet dating malarky sucks big time!
You can actually delete the profile rather than just whinging in it if you are 'off to the real world' because you did not like the profile review section - go to this page and follow instructions: http://www.plentyoffish.com/deleteaccount.aspx | |
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| profile help please !
Posted: 5/10/2008 8:56:54 AM | Aphrodtite....crazytimes isn't being rude per se, but he IS being honest. Think about it. All he is saying is that your messages are VERY hard to read. You are a person who probably does better live, but still, you don't have to write that way. If I had a stutter, I w-w-w-oul-d-d-dn't w-w-write l-like I had one. That is the beauty of writing....no person should attempt to write the way they talk.
There is a format for a reason. (Format being good punctuation, spelling, use of capital letters, no random lol, etc...) It wasn't rude, on the contrary, it was really good advice. (Whatever you think of the source, it was GOOD.) I also had a hard time reading your page, and have a harder time reading your messages. | |
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QTinTo
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Joined: 2/24/2008
Msg: 13 | |
| profile help please !
Posted: 5/10/2008 10:12:17 AM | | wow You got a lot of editing there to do. plus no pics whoa!.thats kinda scary. | |
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