| Ex-boyfriends jewlery
Posted: 5/9/2008 2:59:56 PM | I was reading an article in a magazine while waiting for my car to get maintenanced and it was about what to do with you're ex-boyfreinds jewlery that was given to you as a gift.
Most women after a break up, hold on to it for sentimental reasons, but often want to get rid of it as it is constant reminder of a failed relationship.
It listed a website to where you can buy, sell and trade items given as gifts.
Ladies, would you ever sell or trade the gifts you were given?
Guys would you get mad knowing she is getting rid of something at the time you thought would make her happy? | |
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| Ex-boyfriends jewlery
Posted: 5/9/2008 4:28:32 PM | | Wouldn't matter to me one way or the other. If it was given as a gift, then it's hers (or his) to do with as he or she pleases, and frankly, none of my damn business. | |
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| Ex-boyfriends jewlery
Posted: 5/9/2008 4:50:17 PM | | I thought maybe if it was a promise ring, engagement ring, birthday necklace it would hurt to know that it was at one time something that mattered. Especially if it was expensive or even heirloom. | |
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| Ex-boyfriends jewlery
Posted: 5/9/2008 4:56:33 PM |
I thought maybe if it was a promise ring, engagement ring, birthday necklace it would hurt to know that it was at one time something that mattered. Especially if it was expensive or even heirloom.
In the case of an heirloom, I would think that common decency would dictate its return. As for a promise or an engagement ring, I know for myself that I wouldn't want it back, because at that point it would signify a "broken" promise, if that makes sense. And that isn't something I would necessarily want to be reminded of. In that case, at least to me, the answer in my first post would still apply. It was a gift, she can feed it to baby seals for all I care. | |
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| Ex-boyfriends jewlery
Posted: 5/9/2008 5:31:06 PM | | I'm pretty sure etiquette requires an engagement ring to be given back if she breaks it off, because usually they are quite a sum of money, and it sets a bad precedent of girls 'profiting' by getting engaged and breaking it off. Except for that one case though, a gift is a gift, and if there was no expectation of repayment before the breakup, there shouldn't be after. | |
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| Ex-boyfriends jewlery
Posted: 5/9/2008 6:22:13 PM | Well my ex had a necklace made for me which i gave back to him when we broke up.
I just can't deal with having any reminders in my house. If i want memories, they're in my head. | |
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| Ex-boyfriends jewlery
Posted: 5/9/2008 6:27:44 PM | I sold my wedding ring years and years ago (maybe 3 years after we separated) - didnt realise until I was selling and negotiating a price, it was more carats than I thought therefore worth more. So, a bonus but that wouldnt have affected me selling or not. It had to go.
However, I have kept my engagement ring. It has two diamonds that I rather like and I have thought about having these re-mounted into earrings... Not because they are 'special' , is just because I like them.
I think you can infer that I dont keep or sell jewellery that a husband or partner may have given me for any reason, sentimental or otherwise. But, if it were an heirloom, it really would be different. | |
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| Ex-boyfriends jewlery
Posted: 5/9/2008 8:59:43 PM | Well if it was a heirloom from his family I would def. give it back.
But...let's see...I gave back my engagement and wedding ring to my ex-husband. No, that's a lie...I actually handed them to the woman he cheated on me with and got pregnant...my words to her were 'Well, hope these will mean more on your finger then they did on mine".
Another guy I was engaged to and I gave the ring back b/c I was the one that broke it off.
The only items that I have from other men are a pair of diamond earrings that a guy I met at the beach when I was 14 sent me for Christmas the summer after we met. And a beautiful diamond and gold necklace from a guy that I met online when I was 12....I was 20 when he sent me that. With K., the guy who gave me the necklace, we've never had a romantic relationship. We talked online and on the phone til I was 18 and flew out to Las Vegas to meet him. He is honestly my best friend and one of the only people that I can say that I honestly love unconditionally. The necklace, persay, doesn't mean all that much to me...but he does...therefore I'll never get rid of the necklace. It's actually never even been removed from the box.
I've thought about maybe one day giving it back to him if he ever has a daughter. But if he doesn't then I will probably give it to my daughter. I guess to me it represents what love really means. See, now I'm getting all sentimental.
~Welder's Girl~ | |
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| Ex-boyfriends jewlery
Posted: 5/9/2008 9:21:00 PM | I was married 11 and 1/2 years to a woman.
During the course of our marriage I gave her
1)diamond heart necklace -- I carat -- she never wore
2)diamond stud earrings with platinum jackets. 1/2 carat each diamond -- she never wore
3) Gold band with 5 diamonds, .20 carats each -- she never wore
4) Sterling silver hair combs -- she never wore
5) Diamond bangle bracelet -- 2 carats -- she never wore
I ran into her at the mall the other day with her new husband. She had it all on.
She wears as her wedding ring for her present husband the diamond band I gave her.
Such is war. | |
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| Ex-boyfriends jewlery
Posted: 5/9/2008 9:24:39 PM | | Just keep it. I used to return but then realized what is the point , just keep it and use it | |
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| Ex-boyfriends jewlery
Posted: 5/9/2008 9:35:03 PM | I would not expect any jewelry back given as gifts. They can do with them as they please. When I got divorced my ex probably had jewelry worht well over $20,000 but she can do with them as she pleases.
Now if engaged I would expect the engagement ring back if marriage did not occur. I don't care who ended it. If marriage happens then after that it is hers as we fulfilled the engagement. | |
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| Ex-boyfriends jewlery
Posted: 5/10/2008 10:49:44 AM | | I have to disagree with the engagement ring being returned. In my mind, it falls in the same territory as any other gift. It's hers to do with as she pleases. If she sells it, then just don't tell me. After all, it's not my business. | |
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| Ex-boyfriends jewlery
Posted: 5/10/2008 11:39:41 AM | None of the jewellry I was given was ever given with a meaning attached. It was an acknowlegement of something I'd said was nice and he got it for me cause he thought I should have it... and to this day I really like the jewellry and since there's no meaning attached to it, having it and/or wearing it doesn't remind me of anything bad. We were best of friends when we were together, it ended amicably and we're still friends. Quite truthfully half the time if someone comments on something, I have to think for a minute if it was something I bought or was given to me... (I love silver rings etc. and have a LOT of them that I interchange... in no way is my thinking about it's origin a slam to the gift giver whatsoever).
That said ~ should something be given to me with meaning attached to it ~ it would depend on the situation and the type of jewellry it was. Engagement/promise rings or heirloom jewellry most definitely would be given back without question. If something was given as a gift for birthday or Christmas for instance whereby my accepting it didn't relate to my making a promise to him and our relationship, if I liked it, I'd keep it... if I didn't, I may sell it. Anything with significant monetary value I would offer to give back first though.
Every situation is different and I think that it would depend a lot on the circumstances of the breakup. Bad breakup = getting rid of it one way or another. Amicable breakup = my asking him if he wanted those things back and if not, deciding how much I liked them and whether or not I'd like to keep them. | |
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| Ex-boyfriends jewlery
Posted: 5/10/2008 3:42:26 PM |
I have to disagree with the engagement ring being returned. In my mind, it falls in the same territory as any other gift. It's hers to do with as she pleases. If she sells it, then just don't tell me. After all, it's not my business.
You will be surprised to know that an engagement ring is not considered a gift. It is considered a promise to marry, and if no marriage occurs it is to be given back to the giver. Many courts have upheld this ancient custom.
A gift is a gift. Pure and simple. Even an heirloom.
I personally would return an heirloom....but the other things are mine to do with as I please, and usually it pleases me to wear them. They are after all inanimate objects. If they made me sad, I would donate them to the Salvation Army, or give them away to someone before I would sell them. | |
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