| Could you please help with my profile
Posted: 5/9/2008 9:31:04 PM | Hi,
I am posting to see if you would mind checking out my profile and letting me know what is right and what is wrong with it. I sometimes wonder if it is too long? Too much about me and not enough about who I am looking for?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks,
Chuck | |
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| Could you please help with my profile
Posted: 5/9/2008 9:42:40 PM | | NO FREAKING DANCING BANANAS! They are phallic, and not what you need to portray. Also, no other ones, they all read negative on ANY profile. Just because they are there, doesn't mean use them. | |
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| Could you please help with my profile
Posted: 5/9/2008 9:54:03 PM | Hey Chuck,
The first thing that hits me is your self-confidence, I think that's great! Your intro is a little confusing though. I had a tough time understand what your trying to tell everyone. I get that you're an active guy. You may want to sum it up in a couple sentences in the body of your "about me". The heart of the matter is your profile doesn't flow well. You need an Intro(hello), then body(who you are as a person), then a conclusion(who you're looking for).
Pics are pretty good. Love the sky diving shot! You could lose the one with you washing the car. It's too fuzzy.
Hope this helps and good luck.
Havoc | |
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| Could you please help with my profile
Posted: 5/9/2008 9:54:33 PM | Thank goodness! Thanks, now we can get down to business without the bananas distracting me.
Your profile seems well written, and I could not find any spelling mistakes. Good job. Your pics are also good. You could include a section about the kind of woman you are looking to date, or some qualities you find attractive in a woman. That would be great, and helps us women know whether to contact you based on what you are looking for.
There is not much to pull apart here, it looks okay. You could edit the part about your profile being a work in progress. It is just unnecessary...most are works in progress. Your first date is pretty bland, but I liked the part about it starting on bikes, that is totally you, and should be left in.
Good luck. | |
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| Could you please help with my profile
Posted: 5/9/2008 11:00:11 PM | Get some pics of you without a decapitated child on your shoulders to use as your main. That's disconcerting.
"Adrenalin Junkie Looking for Fix" does not say "looking for dating" to me. It says more like you want an "activity partner." Or "witness to my painful and sudden demise." | |
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| Could you please help with my profile
Posted: 5/10/2008 12:02:01 AM |
Hi Chuck, I totally agree with one of the previous respondents. The content is very good,but not organized in an easily read manner. Here are my suggestions.
1. "I just returned to Maryland after living in South Florida for 5 years." This is not really relavent to what you are trying to accomplish. I suggest removal. This will help with the "cluttered" appearance as well.
2. "I enjoy dressing up -- I wear a suit daily to work and like going out looking good -- however, I also like to bum around in cut-off cammies and crocs. I think I am funny and quick witted, however, some may disagree. Either way, I don't think anyone is too important and no one should take themselves too seriously. One thing I have learned in life is that if I can't control it I can't let it bother me -- this lesson maximizes my serenity. " I would suggest making this your opening paragraph. You need to select two words that describe YOU, and work them into this section somehow. Honest,sincere,funny,sense of humor,caring,etc. DO NOT count! Those are "assumed givens",and do not describe your personality traits. Examples of acceptable words are,introvert,exrovert,adventurous,agressive,outgoing,meek, oldfashioned, geeky,etc.
3. After you have selected YOUR WORDS, you need to select two words that describe HER. Same rules as before still apply.
4. This is deuce98s pet peeve,and if I don't hound you about it,he sure as heck will! NEVER tell them you are "funny,or have a sense of humor! SHOW THEM! "I think I am funny and quick witted, however, some may disagree. " DELETE this sentence. If you want them to know your funny,prove it,replace the line you just deleted with something funny.
5. "Obviously this profile is a work in progess -- kinda like me." Delete this as well.
Best wishes
OFCB | |
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