| Is this just a coincidence, or men often use this line when...
Posted: 5/9/2008 10:31:15 PM | ...they want to bail out that their excuse becomes dime a dozen?
Ok, here is the situation. In the span of 4 months ( from December last year to April this year), I have had 4 guys that made arrangement with me to meet for coffee date/dinner and cancelled it at the last minute (in one instance, I was already waiting at the place of meeting when I got a text message).
Common denominator for why they couldn't make it to our date?
My best friend/mother/tried to commit suicide/had to be taken to the hospital/couldn't leave them as he or she needed me/lost my mobile phone so I couldn't contact you.
I mean, hey, why couldn't they just tell me "I had a better offer, better luck next time".
In addition to that, I had two more other guys cancelled this month when one actually texted me and told me he had a better offer (that one, I really admire - at least he was damn honest).
The other one just started ignoring me early this week as he wouldn't reply to my msn messages even though he was obviously online too. Today, Saturday, was supposed to be our first meeting. No word from him whatsoever.
Now, please don't flame me here, I don't want anyone telling me that it's not only the guys who do this as this is just my own personal observation/experience.
Has anyone else had a similar experience? I don't feel like accepting any invites anymore as they just "disappear" in the last minute. | |
|
| Is this just a coincidence, or men often use this line when...
Posted: 5/9/2008 10:39:00 PM | I have heard girls complain about that frequently - it seems to be a real problem with guys.
I personally have given up dating blokes out of the same reason, women are more reliable.
And the 'intimacy thing' is a lot less complicated i find.  | |
|
| Is this just a coincidence, or men often use this line when...
Posted: 5/9/2008 10:55:54 PM | Happens to all of us I might start another "Dumb" thread nah couldn't be bothered posting threads are as bad as dating on here...... I was once asked over to a guys place for dinner he had his young son there and was easier for me to go to his place... After an hour drive I get there and he is not home dinner cooking in the over, could smell it, waited, rang, knocked on the door 3 times went around the back after 15 mins I left leaving him a note saying next time he invites a lady to dinner would be good if he was home.
Funny part he ended up ringing me after an hour and had the gall to say I turned up early I was 5 mins early and he was 10 mins late BUT it was still my fault.... Go figure.
All you can do is have a back up plan in case they don't show. | |
|
| |
| |
| Is this just a coincidence, or men often use this line when...
Posted: 5/9/2008 11:49:01 PM | I had a date with a guy (yes from here and you know who you are) who just never called, texted or even bothered making an excuse, then he called me two weeks later at like 9pm when I was out with some friends and wondered why I didn't want to meet him 
ronda | |
|
| Is this just a coincidence, or men often use this line when...
Posted: 5/10/2008 12:39:47 AM | I have had 4 guys that made arrangement with me to meet for coffee date/dinner and cancelled it at the last minute
Common denominator for why they couldn't make it to our date?
My best friend/mother/tried to commit suicide/had to be taken to the hospital/couldn't leave them as he or she needed me/lost my mobile phone so I couldn't contact you. You have had four people cancel- and list as the common denominator a list of eight possible reasons as to why they cancelled, with a minimum of five combinations, two of which do not make a lot of sense. This indicates that assuming you are being honest, there was not actually a single common denominator in terms of excuse, you are a person short and what kind of mother loses her sons mobile phone?
Okay, not everyone has learnt structured logic. At the very least you have demonstrated a character flaw they may have picked up on. The only common denominator is you. | |
|
| |
| Is this just a coincidence, or men often use this line when...
Posted: 5/10/2008 1:07:10 AM | You have had four people cancel- and list as the common denominator a list of eight possible reasons as to why they cancelled, with a minimum of five combinations, two of which do not make a lot of sense. This indicates that assuming you are being honest, there was not actually a single common denominator in terms of excuse, you are a person short and what kind of mother loses her sons mobile phone?
Okay, not everyone has learnt structured logic. At the very least you have demonstrated a character flaw they may have picked up on. The only common denominator is you.
Hey, I will tell you one common denominator here: all these guys got cold feet but are so damn coward to tell me the truth. You know why? After a few weeks, they reappear as if they've forgotten the bullshit excuse they made for standing me up. And I bet it didn't work out well with whoever they've chosen to be with when they let me down.
You don't know me and how dare you imply that I'm the one with a character flaw? Keep your logic to yourself as I don't think you have understood a thing I wrote here. | |
|
| Is this just a coincidence, or men often use this line when...
Posted: 5/10/2008 2:20:53 AM | Hi Merrymermaid
The common denominator were they were all "men" who weren't'"brung up proper" and had no manners and basically are cowards (so you are definately better off anyway) ..... These "men" have every rite to cancel if they wish, but lets faces it..with bullshit excuses ( I too admire the guy who told you he had a better offer..tacky but at least he was honest)but perhaps they should remember that us women are kinda smart and can spot bullshit a mile away...that to me is the most insulting bit !!! So hon dont be hard on yourself..you sound like a very lovely lady from what Ive read of you in your previous posts and you have a very nice profile and your marlin is out there somewhere !!!...and hey their loss....and in future you will no doubt attract real men and not rude ill mannered little boys who hide behind their mobiles and petty excuses..oh and before I get accused of gender bashing..no, women are quite capable of this too...it just shows that ettiquette is sadly lacking in humans... period !!
Dont mind Crazytimes...based on his previous posts on previous threads, he can only contribute by belittling .....not by by being supportive, offering constructive criticism or being objective. Some chips are SO big they need both shoulders to grow on. | |
|
| Is this just a coincidence, or men often use this line when...
Posted: 5/12/2008 5:13:15 AM | Hi Merry mermaid
I had to put my 2 bob's worth in because i have heard this as a common complaint from women. For the life of me i can't understand it (the behavour that is, not the complaint!). I agree all those excuses are too much for conicidence and i've heard about it often from other people too.
Not only is it rude and extremely bad manners, but it doesn't make sense. How can those men be so sure that their "better offer" is indeed going to be better (or even "any"
offer!).
I'm not out to play the whole field and certainly not if anything develops, but surely it's normal to be meeting two or thrree people over a few weeks while you are trying to see who clicks and who doesn't? The saysing about all the eggs in one basket comes to mind. Maybe i can pose that as a question to the ladies ... at what point do you expect the guy to be seeing only you and to stop arranging first meets with other ladies?
PS I hope you find "Love Unlimited" :0. | |
|
| Is this just a coincidence, or men often use this line when...
Posted: 5/12/2008 6:02:42 AM | rule number 1 in internet dating is ... until u met someone u do not know them, and takes more than one meet to get to know someone. its easy to form a facade behind a computer that is alot harder to live up to in person!
a common thing with internet ppl is.. especially men i have noticed is, they are just out of long term relationships, looking for a root, or have some sort of other issue (drugs, kids, mental illness, etc etc), in other words.. they are fairly self absorbed and its all about 'them'. they are concerned about what they can get from it all and u are just someone on the computer, its a little harder to give respect to someone u dont really know.
so in other words take it all with a grain of salt.. they cancel, so what, least u know that about them before hand, u could of met, rooted, dated for a bit and then found out he was a inconsiderate mo'fo, count ur blessings, block delete and call out 'next!'
i haven't had many cancel on me, but the few that did i realise wasn't really about me, was them, too shy, too issue ridden or found something better, which if they met me i doubt i would of been for them anyway, so again great.. saved time.
dont take it seriously
realise its not about u
take control of the situation
and as for them coming back.. well men never wipe an opportunity off the list.. i have had a couple bad break ups with ex's or one off meets, or just online ppl without meeting coming back for more so to speak.. men do that.. coz its an opportunity, every chick they ever meet go on a mental black book (even if she is a psycho bunny boiler, if she has a great ass.. thats it!), again not really about u.. but the doodle they are thinking with...
men dont take this all that seriously... remember takes a woman a moment to fall in love.. men are a heck of a lot slower, as for respect.. they dont see the big deal the same as u..
suck it up, and have fun! plenty of fish... out there lol (couldnt resist) | |
|
| Is this just a coincidence, or men often use this line when...
Posted: 5/12/2008 6:05:21 AM | Some guys can be quite strange indeed. I had a date with a guy and just as I was leaving I thought I had best check to make sure everything was OK.....place to meet was right , the correct time etc etc. When he answered his phone it was quite clear to me that he had completely forgotten..... then he went on to say that he had some issues with his adult daughter and that she needed him and no matter what he would be there for her. (mind you we were in Perth and his daughter was in Melbourne).
We rescheduled but again 'something' came up. When it happened a 3rd time I knew something WAS UP.
To cut a long story short the guy was actually living with a woman. I soon discovered this after tripping him up on his lies and deceit.
Usually if a guy feeds you a load of tripe then the chances are he is NOT single. | |
|
| Is this just a coincidence, or men often use this line when...
Posted: 5/12/2008 6:17:54 AM | I am new to dating, so when I read the post I thought no woner its hard for honest blokes to get a date. I guess you just lucked out and found the rotten apples :-( first.
Me, well if I were lucky enough to take a ladies fancy, would I pass up the opportunity ?
Not bloomin likely, after all a date is just an informal "Hello" meeting :-)
Rod. | |
|
| Is this just a coincidence, or men often use this line when...
Posted: 5/12/2008 6:18:36 AM |
You don't know me and how dare you imply that I'm the one with a character flaw? Keep your logic to yourself as I don't think you have understood a thing I wrote here.
Having studied formal logic, purely from a symbolic perspective, I can assure you that your statements are flawed.
Your generic male bashing and self righteousness is not really a war winner from a personal standpoint. Nevertheless, you can feel free to wallow in your male bashing self pity and insist it is everyone elses fault, does not really affect me. | |
|
| Is this just a coincidence, or men often use this line when...
Posted: 5/12/2008 6:20:12 AM | Date?? you got a date?? im still waiting for one of them lol
I was seeing someone from here a while ago.. very honest and lovely lady , but it just didnt work out.
Your right.. its sometimes hard to say what you really want to say , so us humans make lame excuses , sad but true.
I'd say the high percentage of males and females are honest , but the small percentage of bad ones put in far more effort than the honest ones , as if they get rejected , it doesnt matter , thus making it harder for the honest ones.. they already have someone at home waiting for them , so they have nothing to lose.. us honest single people have lots to lose , but everything to gain if it pays off.. | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| Is this just a coincidence, or men often use this line when...
Posted: 5/12/2008 6:59:04 PM | Crazytimes had a point. You listed a total of 6 men. 5 had "excuses", which themselves had nothing in common, and one was honest and said he got a better offer.
It stands to reason that as far as the "excuses" go, some of them might well be genuine, and deserve at least the benefit of the doubt. If you won't go out with someone because they cancelled the date because their best friend committed suicide I'd suggest the problem is you, not them.
So even saying that two of those men were telling the truth and their excuses were valid, we're now at about 50% of men that don't attend, and have no justifiable reason for it.
I'd actually say that's fairly reasonable. By this I mean it's odds within the boundaries I would expect to see. It's still very rude, don't get me wrong. The fact is that internet dating is a numbers game. And the numbers suck.
It's worth pointing out that men are often criticised for going on dates, getting laid, and then just vanishing, so in their defense at least they didn't do THAT, right?
And before all the women say "oh, it's because they're men and men suck" us men didn't pull the "women do it too" card. If you really want I can start talking about what women I've been on dates with have done to me, and you can say what men have done to you, and we can all have a nice big pity party. | |
|
| Is this just a coincidence, or men often use this line when...
Posted: 5/12/2008 9:05:58 PM | | I bailed on a date today...should be on it right now. Reason? I was in a foul mood for other reasons and didn't feel like going to meet a stranger who could possibly be a **** who pushes me over the edge. I think I made the right decision, but could have been a great loss as well. | |
|
| Is this just a coincidence, or men often use this line when...
Posted: 5/12/2008 9:19:59 PM | Okay my 2 bobs worth as a female
I think number one you should face reality that this is internet and anything is possible....no one really is obligated to meet up and only who knows; who is who here...you have taken the risk to contact these men or be available for them to contact you then you need to take other risks too.
but as poster 21 said;
It's worth pointing out that men are often criticised for going on dates, getting laid, and then just vanishing, so in their defence at least they didn't do THAT, right?
well he has a valid point neither of the men actually did what most of us female think they are after..... so that does make them decent men....
Also if one gave the reason of suicide...that’s to serious not to believe...and above all he was polite enough to explain...even if and we don't know ..so can't judge, he was making an excuse he was considerate enough to do so.
One last thing I don't think we can expect any internet ethics, etiquette or moral sets on these dating sites ..it's all individual's choice .....expect the unexpected on the internet.
good luck finding your Mr Right | |
|
| Is this just a coincidence, or men often use this line when...
Posted: 5/12/2008 9:31:41 PM | | I haven't ever had a no show for a meeting/date but I have cancelled a few myself. I have always given notice though, at least the day before. The times that I have reneged on a date have usually been when I haven't actually been that enthusiastic about meeting the guy anyway and then when the time draws closer to meeting, I am pretty sure that it's not going to work out so I just can't be bothered going through the motions of it all. I know that sounds bad but I haven't done it very often and like I said, I have always given notice and not just not shown up. | |
|
| |
| Is this just a coincidence, or men often use this line when...
Posted: 5/12/2008 9:52:51 PM | I can't help but wonder why so many threads turn into a battle of the sexes or personal slanging match when we are all supposedly sensible grownups with our own opinions, but some of us just seem to need to shove it down other peoples' throats, whats with that?
On topic, I think anybody who's been single for any length of time and tried meeting people online realises how chancy it can be, let's face it we've all had our horror stories and everybody gets cold feet for whatever reason, if not suicidal.... all we can do is try to respect the other person and be honest enough to treat them with courtesy and the way we would want to be treated, in real life as well at the forums
ronda :)
 | |
|
Home
login 
