| Ladies and gents, looking for a profile review and helpful advice.
Posted: 5/10/2008 6:14:00 AM | Hi all,
As I have described in my profile, I am a 27 year old single male based in Melbourne, Australia looking for a lady to date with a view to become my long term partner. I've done my best at typing up a descriptive and defining profile but apparently my efforts have been in vain (there's been very little interest shown). Could I please get the opinion of other POF members as to how I could improve my profile (extra information, more/different pics, other advice). Advice from the ladies would be most appreciated, the audience that I'm trying to appeal to holds the key here.
Regards, the Human Sasquatch. | |
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| Ladies and gents, looking for a profile review and helpful advice.
Posted: 5/10/2008 6:41:45 AM | Close enough to what my profile was that I am sort of curious as to what I did right you have not. Same country, height, close enough in age and looks, similar length profile and if anything, your content is a shade better in some areas.
Some issues I can see though. More photos. Six more. A better main shot should be a priority, a nice clear, well framed, smiling face shot. Do not offer to forward more, just include them. By all means, keep a couple as hidden shots, but you want at least a few more visible.
Find a better headline, one not so negative. Fill out the profession field, do not just leave it to the text. Summarise if need be- 'aquaculture owner' or something like that. Seperate your interests with commas and put more in there, otherwise search does not work properly.
"I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic and would much rather spend a quiet evening at home with a special lady than out at the nightclubs. Snuggles and hugs would be ideal, looking for someone that enjoys spending time together yet is still independant in their own right. " - that paragraph is not attractive. It works in movies.
"PS. Text message speak (ie. Wat r u up 2) is a major pet hate of mine, if you are going to message me, please use conventional English." - lose that paragraph as well.
"Female
Age between 21 and 35
Live in Australia"
Get rid of all the other restrictions. You have nearly every one chosen. Have faith in your ability to read peoples profiles and choose yourself. The person I am seeing I am outside of her restrictions, good thing she contacted me as I could not have contacted her.
Plenty of information, well written in general, fairly positive. With the above changes, I have faith you can do very well for yourself. Post ocassionally on the forums as well, just watch out for the Australian crowd, they are big on lynching. | |
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| Ladies and gents, looking for a profile review and helpful advice.
Posted: 5/10/2008 10:03:17 AM |
Batcheor of Science Is this an Aussie thing? I have a Bachelor of Science degree myself....just wondering.
It's not awful not great, do try to tighten it up a bit as far as making it essentially ABOUT YOU....describe what you're like to hang out with. It's a little heavy with trivia as it is, IMO.
I'd also consider losing this.
More pics can be fowarded if required (put up what I had to hand on the PC at the time).
PS. Text message speak (ie. Wat r u up 2) is a major pet hate of mine, if you are going to message me, please use conventional English.
I also consider another headline ....hoping...well it's not real positive and your username...*shudder* NOT a pleasing mental picture.
Read the profile writing tips thread and when you do an edit post back here, don't start a new thread.  | |
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| Ladies and gents, looking for a profile review and helpful advice.
Posted: 5/10/2008 11:53:14 AM | Hi HS , it is not BAD! BUT,it could be MUCH better to, I give it a 7 . You have described the woman you would like to meet like this.
"My ideal partner would be honest, witty, intelligent, caring and forgiving. Personality is everything, it's the one aspect you can't change. Looks are fleeting, only skin deep and prone to change. When messaging me, I do read profiles, a detailed profile will give me some insights into yourself."
specificly this. "My ideal partner would be honest, witty, intelligent, caring and forgiving.
1. All I can say for this is you tried, now to explain. These are ALL what I call "assumed givens". How many people do you know that are looking for a dishonest,unintelligent,uncaring,witless person that refuses to forgive? If you know some, I stand corrected and by all means let it the way it is. If you do not,you are looking for the same things as EVERYONE else is. The problem with this is that it puts YOU in the SAME FIELD as everone else. You need to get to your own personal field, where the competition will be MUCH less intense. Your description SHOULD be what I call "UNIQUE CHARACTERISTICS" instead of "assumed givens" . Some examples wold be. Adventurous,oldsfashioned,introvert,passioate,meek,agressive,intense,layed back,passive,intense, etc.
2. You talk in your profile about how the ladies need to let you "see who they are" or something similar. But you have said NOTHING to help THEM connect to YOU. That is where it ALL starts!
3. In your opening,you NEED two UNIQUE characteriscs that describe YOU. (three would be better)
4. Same as above to describe HER.
This is really all that matters! The other stuff is simply "filler" if you do not do BOTH of these things.
Best wishes
OFCB | |
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| Ladies and gents, looking for a profile review and helpful advice.
Posted: 5/10/2008 11:57:22 AM |
big fan of Blackadder, Red Dwarf, Monty Python), love the stupid yet intellectual nature of these.
They are not stupid, but absurd. A better word might be "silly," but not stupid. Mr. Bean is stupid. The Spice Girls are stupid. "Dude, Where's My Car?" is stupid. See the diff?
Lose this next bit:
I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic and would much rather spend a quiet evening at home with a special lady than out at the nightclubs. Snuggles and hugs would be ideal, looking for someone that enjoys spending time together yet is still independant in their own right.
Urp. Snuggles. At least you didn't day "cuddles," but it's pretty close.
More pics would be better. FYI, you don't look like a sasquatch to me, human or otherwise. | |
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Feigh
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Joined: 2/13/2008
Msg: 9 | |
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| Ladies and gents, looking for a profile review and helpful advice.
Posted: 5/10/2008 1:13:43 PM | Hi there- I am no master at this but I do work in Marketing so here goes, and I hope this doesn't sound brutal.
(1) It looks like you have your hand down your pants in your profile picture
(2) Human Sasquatch. Kind of scary. Why not bank on the Aussie factor? Man From Melbourne, or something catchy? That should spark some interest.
Hope this helps! | |
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| Ladies and gents, looking for a profile review and helpful advice.
Posted: 5/10/2008 4:39:48 PM |
It looks like you have your hand down your pants in your profile picture
OMG, she's totally right about this! I looked again, and it DOES look like that! 
Sounds like you need some new pics. Don't be touching your junk in photos; chicks hate that. | |
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| Ladies and gents, looking for a profile review and helpful advice.
Posted: 5/10/2008 10:02:29 PM | You know what it's like, when you have to scratch, you have to scratch.....
Seriously though, I hadn't looked at it that way until you guys pointed it out. Needless to say offending photo has now been banished.
Kiwivixen, don't worry the Aussies get the joke. Keep the sheep well, don't let the fush and chups get cold and remember we gave the gift that keeps on giving, no need to play possum now . (hides from New Zealand lynch mob). You guys are good sports about the whole deal and we've got Tasmanians to hang it on too.
Ursula Major, I'm figuring we have another Hiker on our hands, you didn't forget your towel, did ya?
Hopefully that's looking better, any more tips would be appreciated. | |
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