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Thread: Help needed - ready to be reviewed

Dave_b_mcr

Joined: 2/25/2008
Msg: 1
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Help needed - ready to be reviewed Posted: 5/10/2008 6:23:18 AM
Hi All This is probably a bad idea but please let me know what you think. I've been as honest as I can so just give it to me straight. Any suggestions on pictures etc gratefully received Cheers Dave

crazytimes1

Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 2
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Help needed - ready to be reviewed Posted: 5/10/2008 7:12:39 AM
Dearest Dave, You need another six photos, preferably clearer. I am assuming your headline refers to the book title. It is quite obscure and not particularly funny even if they understand it. Please remove it. Your interests are shallow and the silly music thing does not help your cause. Geek and Nerd need to go from your profession list. Your little 'I asked some friends for a list of adjectives' paragraph made me cringe. In fact, it made a small part of me die on the inside. You need to work on structuring the profile a bit better. Most of the content is okay, it is just poorly laid out. Please rectify immediately. Your desired partner traits need altering to something more meaningful. As it stands, they are sort of shallow and non-specific. The first date box actually needs to have something in it, not the lame cop out that you have the moment. This is one place that something nice and cliched is appropiate. Dinner and a stroll is perfectly acceptable, as is coffee, afternoon drinks, walking along the boulevard etc. Keep it simple, keep it safe. Aunty Laura sends her regards and says the kids are doing great. Old Mike from the mill passed away last week unfortunately, there is a service at the church on tuesday. Other than that, all is well. Warm regards, Uncle Crazy

kiwivixen

Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 3

Help needed - ready to be reviewed Posted: 5/10/2008 7:21:10 AM
lol to funny....ok from a kiwi point of veiw yeah a gab at the aussie^^^ as much as i don't want to agree with the aussie i am going to have to dammit lol its borning you sound like you need a look at yrself instead of yr freinds about who you are? but i think it needs amjor overhaul infact i would redo the whole thing and start from stratch better to be safe than sorry.... best of luck

OldFashndMntMan

Joined: 6/20/2006
Msg: 4
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Help needed - ready to be reviewed Posted: 5/10/2008 12:45:25 PM
Hi Dave, I concur witht the others. Go to the top of the page on this forun "writing tips" follow those guidelines,and it will be much better. best wishes OFCB

LolaMaxwell

Joined: 9/4/2006
Msg: 5

Help needed - ready to be reviewed Posted: 5/10/2008 5:16:28 PM
I asked a couple of friends to describe me and this is what they came up with. "Shy, Caring, Considerate, Fun, Serious, Inteligent (kind of), Witty leaning towards the sarcastic, Loyal, Honest and in need of some love in his life" I have to say I agree with most of what they said. Actually, you don't have to say that at all. You could be modest and disagree with it. Or better yet, tell us what YOU think you are like, and leave out the middleman. Either way, tell your friends if they want to describe you as "intelligent," even just "kind of," they need to spell it correctly. Otherwise it just looks dum. You need better pics.

Dave_b_mcr

Joined: 2/25/2008
Msg: 6
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Help needed - ready to be reviewed Posted: 5/10/2008 5:55:04 PM
Thanks for the honest, if slightly brutal, feedback folks. I shall take your suggestions on board and probably come up with something even worse.. Thanks again.. Please let me know wat you think of the updated profile once i've tinkered with it. Cheers

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