| Tried New Profile - Didn't Help!! What Am I Missing??
Posted: 5/10/2008 8:51:51 AM | | A few weeks ago, I wrote and asked for help. I changed my user name (from "travestine"), made my profile more personal, said more of what I was looking for in a man and sent out a whole bunch of e-mails to guys who seemed to be looking for someone like me. NOT ONE GUY WROTE BACK. One guy even just looked at my profile and deleted my carefully written message without even reading it - incredilby rude! I really don't understand it - I'm not 300 pounds, I have no obvious disabilities - and I'm not dissing people like that, I'm just saying, I can see why that would lead some guys to delete messages without reading them. I'm blond, athletic, slim when you meet me (for some reason, I photograph with those extra pounds), I have really pretty blue eyes. I think my profile is pretty well written with no spelling mistakes or obvious bad grammar. I don't think I come across as too self-centered - I really have a lot going for me and I have so much to offer the right guy. I don't understand why these guys aren't even writing back to say "thanks for writing". What am I not getting? Any help would really be appreciated - this is really starting to hurt my feelings and depress me. | |
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| Tried New Profile - Didn't Help!! What Am I Missing??
Posted: 5/10/2008 8:59:46 AM | The best thing you could do for yourself is change you profile pic to something up close and flattering.
edit: You will never change that happening...don't let it get into your head. WE ALL get that! I know I do, and I am willing to put five on the table that everyone else does as well. Don't let is cramp your style, they were probably diaper boys to begin with. | |
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| Tried New Profile - Didn't Help!! What Am I Missing??
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:36:21 AM | Hey Kayaking gal,
I agree with nursinggrl, the last pic on your profile needs to be your main pic. You're a pretty woman, show us. I liked your profile. You may want to expand, just a little, on who you are and who you are looking for. The structure looks pretty sound.
As for not getting replies back from guys you've written: people are lazy. Instead of writing back and saying thanks or no thanks they just delete. Nursinggrl is right we've all been through it. Just be patient and keep charging ahead. You have to develop a thick skin when it comes to internet dating. If you don't I could see how it might upset you. Hang tough, he's out there.
Hope this helps, Havoc | |
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| Tried New Profile - Didn't Help!! What Am I Missing??
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:40:44 AM |
Any help would really be appreciated - this is really starting to hurt my feelings and depress me.
It may be time to step back from this for awhile and take a break. Getting hurt feelings and being depressed is only potentially going to cause you harm. Everyone gets frustrated at times when things aren't going the way they wish they would.
I don't see any glaring mistakes in your profile, it's quite well written.
I would suggest you use as a main picture either your last or even better get a new, clearer one with you looking at the camera. Just a headshot, the ones from a distance are okay for other photos but not a main one. The main shot is the only one they see until they click on your profile, so make that your best one.
Hope this helps, and DO maybe consider taking a break for awhile. Don't let this stuff get you down or worse yet make you ill. It's not worth it. Take care!  | |
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| Tried New Profile - Didn't Help!! What Am I Missing??
Posted: 5/10/2008 12:01:18 PM | ^^^Agree with wolf hunter... Remove the restrictions from possible contactors, and it will open up doors...
You have a wonderful ability to write, with an excellent grasp on the English Language. Use that to your advantge and have fun with the profile. There is nothing here to give a final hook though. Just a little bait laying in the water.
Pictures: Move them around. I had to go to your third pic before I could see what you looked like. The first two are scenery pics. Sorry, but your way to small in those pics for them to be pics of you. Dump them, or at least move them down the list and make a pcture where we can actually see your face your main pic.
Otherwise, just get creative with the "About Me" section like you did with your headline... | |
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| Tried New Profile - Didn't Help!! What Am I Missing??
Posted: 5/10/2008 12:09:12 PM | With your focus so much on kayaking, I think maybe guys are seeing that and going, "That's not me," and clicking by. Same as I would do when I see a guy is really into a sport I'm not into. I see, "Mountain Bike Guy Needs A Partner," and I go, "Oh, I don't mountain bike, well, see ya!" And move on.
So perhaps identifying yourself so strongly is working against you. Saying you love kayaking is okay, calling yourself "kayaking girl" is perhaps too much.
I agree with the others that the pic of you in the brown top should be your main.
Don't sweat the read/deleted thing; it happens to everyone. | |
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| Tried New Profile - Didn't Help!! What Am I Missing??
Posted: 5/10/2008 12:28:42 PM | I get a little frustrated at times myself. It's NOT you. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you. We ALL get the same treatment, I hope this helps you. Now, on to improving your profile, and yes, it can be improved. What have written is what I call (filler) and it is VERY good filler ! The problem is,that it is almost impossible to "connect" with someone using filler. You need to first use at least two UNIQUE words that describe your personality in your about you section. Words such as honest,caring,funny, etc. are NOT unique identifiers. You already used one to describe your man,which was great. (ADVENTUROUS) Adventurous,introvert,meek,oldfashioned,aggressive,intense,passionate,laid back,etc. are a few examples.
Then you need to think of at least two of those "unique" characteric traits that you find attractive in a man. It is VERY important that you connect here!
NOBODY likes to be rejected, therefore is is YOUR job to convince the man that YOU will like HIM. If you can get him to think to himself ,wow,she just described me! AND you had previously made a good impression in your about you. YOU are very close to
"getting mail". All that is left is to reel him in with a creative first date section
I hope this helps you!
Best wishes
OFCB | |
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