| Please help me make my profile better and more interesting
Posted: 5/10/2008 1:15:55 PM | Hi,
I have only been on here a week, but feel that whenever I message someone they never reply. I only message to say hello and compliment the person on whatever they do for fun and then I mention what I have done that day, and then I say thanks for taking the time out to read my message. Have I got too many pictures on my profile or should I take the bit out about being stubborn, trouble is with me I am too honest about myself. I like people to get a good idea about me. Thanks for any help anyone wants to give me.
Tracey | |
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| Please help me make my profile better and more interesting
Posted: 5/10/2008 1:36:34 PM | Hi Mazdamad. Good for you for being willing to put yourself out there for first contact. As the old saying goes, you may have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince. Having said that, first messages are not (IMHO) a place to talk about yourself and how your day went and quiz them on stuff. In general, you want to keep it fairly short, express interest, say *why* you are expressing interest, ("I saw on your profile you were into cat strangling; I saw a fascinating exhibit at the museum on various feline torture methods and it really interested me.") and then let them go. If they're not a twit, they'll read your profile; if they like what they see there, they'll write you back... and *then* you start to get into longer messages. All of the above IMHO.
Anyway, as to your profile, here are my honest thoughts. Do with them as you choose.
Headline: Not a sentence, barely a fragment, and certainly not interesting. Won't pique my curiosity or make me want to come look inside. Did they have the 'Zoom zoom zoom' Mazda commercials in England? If so, maybe you could capitalize on that; I'd want to see what it was about anyway.
You say you are seeking friends. I missed that until just now. Having seen that, I'm going to stop there with my profile review, just as many people reading through your profile will probably stop there and not bother writing back. This is a dating site; yes, you can look for friends here, but that's not what the majority of people (including the supermajority of men) are after. If you are writing people who have 'Dating' in their profile and asking them to be friends, then you are not going to get many replies.
So, if you decide that you are looking for dates and not just friends, please say so and I will continue with the review. (I know I'm not the only one who is less willing to spend time on reviews for people who just want buds.)
I will just finish with two things, though.
- You have a huge wall of contact restrictions, though, which doesn't make much sense if you are just looking for friends. You won't accept a 42 year-old woman as a friend? or a 38 year old make who shares the same interests? Or a 42 year old male if he smokes? What difference do these restrictions make if you're just going to be friends?
- Using your real name in public in an on-line dating site, even in just signing it in a forum, is asking for trouble of various kinds. Might want to watch that.
Good luck. Hope this helps. | |
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| Please help me make my profile better and more interesting
Posted: 5/10/2008 1:51:41 PM | Editing out several points already mentioned by Mr Rat (or is it Mr Book?). Here is what I see that he did not mention already.
Photos. Why do you have rotated pic? Fix that. And why are you pushing the "last day at work" theme when you are still employed?
NO EMOTICONS! They are ebil! Ebil, I tell you. Work of debil. Never belong on profile.
Wall of text. Ack. Break into paragraphs. 3-4 lines of text per paragraph is good, although thematic coherence is obviously more important.
The relationship order is Talk/Email, then Hang Out, then Friends, then Dating, then LTR. If you do want to eliminate anything, then Talk/Email or LTR need to go. But it is better to leave any non-sleazy ones (like IE) open.
And, of course, people who are looking for things other than friends might also like to make friends. I met several really good friends here. We are all looking for more than friendship for us (individually, not with each other), so none has Friends as the profile focus. But, if I had restrictions like yours, we could not even contact each other. Excluding IE, drugs, smoking and maybe even married is OK. Rest need to go.
A few uncapitalized Is. A minor nitpick, sure, but the rest of your profile is grammatically clean. | |
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| Please help me make my profile better and more interesting
Posted: 5/10/2008 2:10:02 PM | hi Tracy, I would suggest seperating the different subjects to a larger degree. It just sortof all runs together. For example. wher you talk about your music. hit the enter key twice before moving to the next subject.
You have not listed anything that makes you YOU, all you have talked about is things you enjoy doing. It is very hard to "connect" if you do not give a picture of who you are.
Select at least two discriptive words that describe YOU ,then select at least two discriptive words that discribe HIM.
Words NOT to use. honest,funny,caring,loving,loyal,etc. These are what I call "assumed givens" and do NOT help to see into someones soul.
Examples of words that SHOULD be used: timid,extrovert,agressive,adventurous,passionate,intense,oldfashioned,retro,etc.
Best wishes
OFCB | |
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| Please help me make my profile better and more interesting
Posted: 5/10/2008 2:12:46 PM | | Hi thanks everyone, have replaced my 'i's' minor oversight on my part. I am very proud of grammar, feel its important. I have removed the smileys and have re-jigged everything around. Made a new headline and took some pictures out. I am unemployed at the moment but not short of money, looking for a job, don't want people to think 'I have no money and am a layabout just because I left on vol redundancy' so don't how best to put that in my profile as I pay my own way for everything. | |
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| Please help me make my profile better and more interesting
Posted: 5/10/2008 4:22:12 PM | Looks pretty good, did not see it before edits. Couple of points.
"Age between 40 and 50
Live within 75 miles. "
I would suggest deleting the second as PoF does *not* calulate distances correctly in any way shape or form- and broadening the former slightly. The latter alone cuts out nearly everyone here, some certainly that are physically within that distance.
You have seven thousand and eighty four 'I's and not a single mention of what you are looking for in another person. You may want to amend that. | |
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| Please help me make my profile better and more interesting
Posted: 5/10/2008 4:32:39 PM | You say you're "cat mad." For some reason, cats terrify men. I think it's a holdover from the days of witch trials. They still think of cats as evil familliars.
Anyway, apparently the worst thing you can be other than a transvestite is to be a crazy old lady with lots of cats. You're not crazy (that I can tell), nor are you old, but it's still best to avoid too much cat talk.
I noticed the age range as well. You won't even go one year younger than 40? How come? You're unnecessarily narrowing your dating pool with that restriction.
One thing I really wondered -- really wondered -- about is why you don't have at least partial custody of your daughter. (Well, *you* brought it up, not me.) It's still unusual enough in this day and age for a father to have full custody that, unfortunately, people may think you're a....you're a...well...possibly a not-good parent. I would avoid giving out that kind of personal info right upfront. You can explain the circumstances later, if it's warranted.
Lastly, do go back through and capitalize the names of your favorite singers and bands. It's a little thing, but it chafes a bit.
Remember, you've only been doing this a week. It takes time and persistence, just like in real life, to make connections. Be patient.
Hope this is helpful.
P.S. You have quite a good number of "fans" who have rated your picture a "10." A lot of them fall within your age range. Check them out and consider contacting them -- you can always thank them for rating your photo so highly. | |
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| Please help me make my profile better and more interesting
Posted: 5/10/2008 4:43:33 PM |
Lastly, do go back through and capitalize the names of your favorite singers and bands. It's a little thing, but it chafes a bit.
Also, capitalize the names of countries, anything that should be capitalized.
Overall I just find it a jumble...switching topics mid-paragraph for example.
It's not that bad, a lot of trivia that could be edited down and put more of your personality descriptors. That's the content readers are looking for...I'd tighten it up a bit keep it to the essentials. Keep paragraphs short and space in between.
If you're going to change the subject, start a new paragraph.
Read profile writing tips for more ideas, and post back to this thread after you've done a rewrite. | |
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