| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/10/2008 2:21:18 PM | | Hey guys, here is a question, I wonder if when your seening a woman how would you feel if she comes out and says thats its been a really looong time for her and she is kind of nervouse about the whole thing. Like worse than being a teenage virgin, not that I am by no means, but like I said it's been a long time. I'm a little worried about how to handle it. Would it be a turn off? Or would you think it was a strange situation? | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/10/2008 2:35:19 PM | Nope, I wouldn't think it was a turn off at all.
Of course some men might want to have you clarify:
Nervous/excited or nervous/reluctant. | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/10/2008 2:38:20 PM | | OP, big turn off because she's assuming I want to do her, which means she doesn't know me at all. | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/10/2008 2:51:24 PM | Artactive,
I'm not a fan of long posts, but some clarifications here:
1)first date? Later in the relationship?
2)doing what? sex?
3)why would we perceive it as strange?
To be fair, I think most of us get a little nervous in relationships, at times. | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/10/2008 2:52:49 PM | agreeing with Aurora, not all guys are expecting sex easily. hell sometimes we actually just want to be friends.
i know im young :P but the way i see it, is if im with someone that hasnt had sex in so long they are afraid of it again, i would try to ensure the woman is relaxed, or it wont work out right. Especially because they are nervious.
basicly giving the woman control over everything in respect of them not wanting to get pained, should relax them. if that makes sence :P | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/10/2008 2:54:33 PM | | i guess i said the wrong thing, alow me to correct myself, if the mood is right, it shouldnt be a turnoff, just no crazy hard F--king. | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/10/2008 2:58:58 PM | Not at all.
Personally, I would find it attractive that she had her sh*t together and was willing to wait for a good relationship before having sex. The only thing is that we would have to take it slow so that we could minimize any pain, as I like to ensure that the girl I'm with is getting as much if not more pleasure than I am.  | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/10/2008 3:57:59 PM | | It depends on the guy. A guy who would find that a turn off, would most likely be turned off because it makes you sound needy and difficult. If you really are freaked about it, you need to put extra emphasis on your feelings, cause guys assume girls are usually hyperbolizing feelings or retroactivly applying them . You criters are so confusing sometimes. | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/10/2008 4:11:39 PM | so you act worse than a teenage virgin, but you're not a virgin.......and you're 41?
all that trouble but no prize at the end?
Thank you but I'd pass.... | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/10/2008 4:12:48 PM | Geezus.... they're gonna run for the hills thinking you're gonna kill them with your insatiable sexual appetite 'cause you haven't had it in so long.
Better give them a copy of your First Aid/CPR Certificate on the first date..... 
Kidding!
Most guys will understand and some will probably be a bit nervous themselves.... try not to worry so much and just enjoy. | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/10/2008 4:29:34 PM | Nope.... not a turn off for me at all. In fact.... I would appreciate the fact that she does not put out easily and only entertains intimacy with someone special...
Peace | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/10/2008 4:29:39 PM | | I don't see why you would be worried it aint like your going to go limp or last 2 mins.. | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/10/2008 7:09:46 PM | Are you kidding? It would be refreshing as hell!! It would beat the hell out of hearing how many FWB's or FB's she was doing until the RIGHT one came along.... Because I LOVE hearing, 'you know, that was just sex, but I really LOOOOOVE YOU!'
Great...wonderful...
Check please | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/10/2008 7:46:22 PM | OP, I was in that position once and you know what? I never gave a thought to whether he'd be turned off or whatever. Why? Because I am not out to sell myself to someone, I am out to find the right person for me. Any man who would be turned off by me sharing something important that I felt wouldn't be anyone I'd want to be with anyway.
All you need to do is be who you are. Don't try to alter your behavior to get a man, it's insincere and it almost always backfires anyway. JMO | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/10/2008 7:47:39 PM | | Thanks to all your replys, and if I didn't clearify it I'm sorry, but I what I really meant was if I had been in a relationship where it was about to reach that level. I know it is just probably nerves but being at my age I can see where some might think with confusion about the situation. I know for sure I absolutely do. | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/10/2008 7:50:28 PM | | you are so right about that ClassyfieldAlly, but sometimes you might think that the person will understand and in fact it might just freak them out you never know until the moment I guess it all comes down to communication. Thanks | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/10/2008 8:03:22 PM | I have three words of advice: Don't tell him.....
Why? because it isn't important how much you've gotten in x amount of time. Everyone's sexual appetite is different. Some higher than others and they seek it out more often, some only want to do it with people they have a connection with.
BTW: sex is like riding a mike...err bike: you can't "unlearn" it....and no matter how long it's been, part a still fits into part b (the way it's been since man first looked at a woman and said: hey, now we're onto something!!) | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/10/2008 8:11:59 PM | For a gentleman, no, it would not be a turn-off...
Of course, once you got past the nervousness...
even less of a turn-off...
Annudder | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/10/2008 8:18:37 PM |
For a gentleman, no, it would not be a turn-off...
for a desperate gentleman who can't get any, that is......
I don't know 1 single guy who wouldn't be turned off by a 41yr old woman acting like a HS girl..... | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/10/2008 8:20:54 PM | Not a turn off in the least!
Strange thing is , she hunted me, was most forward
which turned me on all the more, so when she made
the 'Home Run Play' then said "it's been a while",
I figured we may need 'extra innings', so I loaded the bases!
[kept the balls square in the 'strike zone'!]  | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/10/2008 8:31:08 PM | I think I'd probably more nervous than you about it if you told me that. Jeepers, now I have a big responsibilty to make sure I do this right all the way around. Can't just jump in there and muck about.
No, don't say anything about it. When you're ready to share yourself again, just go with the flow. You'll remember how it goes. "Like riding a bike" I know, bad cliche', but the best I can do. | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/10/2008 8:39:56 PM | Hmmm... how long is a really loooong time, OP?
Are we talking weeks, months, years?
I'd say, if you are nervous AND you are in a relationship, you should articulate how you feel... no use in keeping it bottled up. After all, if you are close enough to a man to sleep with him I would hope that you are close enough to share your feelings/fears.
Besides, I am sure that most of the guys would prefer to hear "it's been a while" to "I slept with 4 different dudes in the last two weeks".
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/10/2008 8:43:42 PM | | I'd be relieved and then say "Let's go play World of Warcraft instead." | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:05:35 PM | I would find it a turn off.
1. confidance is a turn on, therefor the oposit is also true,
2. My biggest turn on is make a woman happy... If it's been so long that she can't help out with directions (like kiss the neck hardder or softer, where to caress) then it's probibly not going to be very enjoyable for either person. | |
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| Would it be a turn off?
Posted: 5/10/2008 10:01:55 PM | Wow OP,
Hope you were in your bomb shelter. Don't over think it and don't worry too much, you'll do fine. If something breaks, you'll just have to find the number to 911. | |
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