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| depression brought on by Christianity?
Posted: 5/10/2008 6:26:18 PM | First and formost, I didn't create this thread out of pity.
I created it to get some answers and for a better understanding of my issue.
I was born and raised a non denominational Christian.
Througout my years I have back slid or "gone my own route"
I recently moved back to my hometown for personal reasons and through my mothers will/rules I have been forced to attend church.
A few weeks ago, after returning from an altar call I was approached by a lady well known in my church but, because of my absence, I didn't really know her.
She stated a profiecy over me saying that God had told her that my body wasn't my own, that I needed to be aware of the company I kept, and that I would be distant from my friends, with many thinking that I'm being anti social.
She also said that (in references to my sexual habits) that God would have a husband for me, at the appointed time and children too (though I don't plan on getting married for a while, or having kids in the least)
I recently found out from my mother that this lady was sitting and waiting to tell me this for about 8 weeks! And that she sat my mother down and talked things over with her but my mom didn't necessarily tell her I was sexually active.
I admit, I may have been doing some things that would put my sweet grandmother to shame but why did I have to get the "jonah" move put on me?
Fast forward to now.
I have chopped off and fwb relationships that I have had. Broken a heart or two as well. My friends totally think I'm lame now that I've found my "new found glory" and I've even bruised some friendships in the terms that "we shouldn't be unequally yoked with unbelievers" by telling them that I can't be friends or date someone who isn't a Christian.
With all of this new found glory, I feel like crap, my friends think I think that I am better than them. I'm depressed to the point where I stay at home, work out mon- friday, eat, paint, and lay down for hours.
Some may say that I should pray and get into the "Word", fellowship with people in my church etc. Or serve in the Church. I read my Bible as well.
The thing is, I've know most of the people in my church for years and I don't find pleasure in fellowshipping with any of them! There is nothing really going on in my church and I don't have a drive to start something.
I miss the old me terribly. I believe aside from me getting my freak on, I was a pretty decent person. I didn't judge, loved my sinner, and non sinner friends. Stayed out of trouble, but had fun as well.
And everyone knows that as a Christian, you aren't supposed to crave those things, that you are to take off your daily selves and take on the cross.
I am more miserable then before when I was running around "sinning" logically people would say
"Of course you are miserable! The flesh craves sin! It looks good, but in the end, your soul will suffer etc."
Personally, I don't believe in not associating with my friends just because they don't believe what I do, that just seems selfish to me.
I can offer my opinions in hopes to save their souls but why should I have to worry about the after life?
Do you think my beliefs caused my depression? | |
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| depression brought on by Christianity?
Posted: 5/10/2008 6:57:51 PM | I wouldn't say it was your beliefs that is causing the problems but the preaching you're getting from those around you.
If you do believe in god then you must believe he created you to be loving, friendly, compassionate and understanding. To have joy in your heart, not saddness.
You'll have to be strong and stand up to those who try to force you down a certain path.
Explain that their path is not the right one for you but you're heading in the same direction.
Good luck RJ | |
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| depression brought on by Christianity?
Posted: 5/10/2008 7:03:24 PM | OP, who is the author of confusion?
He seems to have you bound up just a bit, eh?
Listen instead to what you know is God's voice and rest in Him.
Consider maybe a retreat away from all the other sounds? ALL the sounds.
Alone a few days, a week maybe? By the woods or ocean or mountains or a river... no man made distractions.
Relax and listen there for your answers.
Just my humble suggestion. | |
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| depression brought on by Christianity?
Posted: 5/10/2008 7:48:20 PM | I would say first to not believe too heavily in some stranger who feels the authority to pronounce something over you that you feel the need to call 'prophecy'. Such people are simply ego maniacs who want their opinions to carry more weight; as in, the weight of God.
They don't.
It seems you are surrounded atm but a large number of people who frown on what you've chosen as your lifestyle.
So self-examine. Are you made happy by what you think and feel and do? You don't need other people's approval to live. If you can justify the things you do to yourself and feel no doubts about it, then, trust yourself. If there's something that makes you pause, then try doing without it and see how things go.. improve or are made worse?
As for your friends, if multiple people who once knew you are making the same negative observations about you then you might want to listen. If it's only one person or an obvious clique of people who enjoy breaking people down.... **** 'em, you're fine.
Most other people are stupid, girl, but think they know better what's best for anyone around them.
Do what you feel is best. In all things. That's all. | |
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| depression brought on by Christianity?
Posted: 5/10/2008 7:51:53 PM | | Take what you need and leave the rest. Theres some kind of Christian symbol that stands for , this is "your "journey.........I can't remember the rest, but I can sure imagine. If I find it I'll let you know. | |
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| depression brought on by Christianity?
Posted: 5/10/2008 8:27:35 PM |
I was born and raised a non denominational Christian.
In other words, you had no choice in the matter. and in my opinion, what you are feeling now is a confusion brought about by two conflicting sides of yourself. Part of you has been conditioned from early on to believe that the Christian way of doing things is not only the right way, but the only way. The other part, which is your questioning human mind, is telling you there are more options out there than blindly following the faith of those around you.
I
admit, I may have been doing some things that would put my sweet grandmother to shame
There is nothing shameful in doing what your body has evolved to do. As long as you think about the consequences of your actions and plan accordingly there should be no problem.It's your body, it's your life, go and enjoy yourself. Just follow the golden rule - don't do to anyone else what you would'nt like done to you.
Think for yourself, realise you will still be a decent, caring, loving, worthwhile member of society regardless of what god [or no god] you believe in.
Do you think my beliefs caused my depression?
I think the conflict between what you are told to believe, and what you actually believe, is what is to blame for the way you feel.
Good luck | |
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| depression brought on by Christianity?
Posted: 5/10/2008 10:11:01 PM |
Do you think my beliefs caused my depression?
What are your beliefs? Do the "personal reasons" you came back home for, indicate that some lifestyle changes are in order?
A couple things I have learned having gone through a similar upbringing, backsliding and eventual return is that "sin" isn't always so black and white as some believe but the realization of what is, is a gradual unfolding of those things that are not beneficial to a deeper relationship with God. What may be a sin for one is fine for another because it doesn't interfere with that relationship.
Some things are a pretty obvious block and if there is still temptations in those areas then instead of trying to curb or control it, give it up to God to take away. Sometimes too there is more focus on the "symptoms" of sin then the sin itself. Alcohol, drugs, overeating, sex, etc. are the symptoms which hide the sins of anger, fear, envy, pride, insecurity, feeling unloved etc. Controlling or quitting the symptoms does nothing for the root of the problem and will result in constant cravings to indulge in the symptoms and condemning oneself for having those thoughts and temptations.
A social life with people one can relate to is important imo, but there is nothing wrong with being selective of those people. If there are no people in the local church, then one can always visit other churches or places where like-minded people go. | |
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| depression brought on by Christianity?
Posted: 5/10/2008 11:05:28 PM | It sounds like you aren't being honest with people.
You say that you cannot be friends with a non-Christian, but when you weren't religious you loved your "no sinner" friends.
You say that you cannot date a non-Christian, but when you weren't religious you didn't judge, but got your freak on, and managed to stay out of trouble. So if you didn't judge, then you wouldn't have turned a guy down just because he was a Christian. Plus, there is a committed Catholic on here, who is/was dating a Wiccan.
You stay at home, work out, eat, paint, and lay down. Where is the Christian in that? Why aren't you helping out at the local Church? Or doing something for G-d?
It seems to me that you are just being a Cardiac Christian. Your heart is in it, but little else. Christianity is all about love. You're judging your friends, you're judging potential boyfriends, you're judging strangers by avoiding them. I believe that you feel ashamed of your Christianity, and you are hiding it from others.
Surely, if you are loved by G-d, then why not act like it? Why not be happy? Why not be friends with everyone? Why not go on dates? Even if you are celibate, you can still date. It would just be nice to be warned that you are celibate until marriage in advance.
I would suggest that you question if you are religious for you, or religious for show. If it is for show, G-d can see in your heart. If you actually mean it, then go to a minister who gives you a vibe you can get in touch with, and ask him how to show your love to people. Even if he's not your local minister, I'm sure he'll tell you the same.
What I notice about your post, is that before, you were uninterested in putting boundaries on your life at all. Now you are putting boundaries on your life, restricting you, and finding it difficult. Well, guess what? It is. It's like going to school. No-one wants to go to school. But you'll get a lot more out of life by going than not going. Giving yourself boundaries and self-control gives you more of life, not less.
But you only get all that if you exercise self-control, and you cannot exercise self-control if you never leave the house and interact with others. Self-control means that you can hang out with your friends, and when they do a line of Charley, you don't call them sinners. You just tell them you'll catch them later, and go somewhere else, maybe home, maybe other friends, maybe the gym.
Religion is NOT your problem. How you handle self-control, discipline, and how you see religion, is your problem.
Self-control is all not doing things to people that will hurt them. Other people.
Discipline is all about doing things at the right time. The right time for other people.
Religion is all about doing things that will help people. Other people.
All of this is just about becoming more focussed on the people around you.
According to Adler, the sole cure for depression is becoming interested in the welfare of others. This is one of the primary goals of religion. So by keeping your religion, you won't be depressed. Ever.
So start becoming focussed on the welfare of the people around you.
Once you do, you will never look back, and your friends will love you even more, the atheists the most.
Good luck. | |
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| depression brought on by Christianity?
Posted: 5/11/2008 7:15:51 AM | Wow Op, do I ever know where you are coming from. Yes beliefs can cause depression , I even left my belief" for close to 30 years over depression from what I consider now to be faulty teaching or doctrine as a youth.
It was only when I realised that I was a sinner, had no ability to fight it by myself, threw away all the legalistic teachings that I had been taught, that I was able to reconcile with my beliefs once again.
For me, my opinion only, I found after reading in Hebrews that Jesus him self was tempted, and understands completely what I face as human being who comes short of his glory.
There is nothing wrong at all, in respecting and likeing your freinds who do not have your same beliefs. Something I find very curious, is that where I work ,my 2 greatest enemies are professing Chritsians. Their approach to dealing with other co workers is in direct contrast to the way I believe it should be done. The one I am closest to in this respect ? Happens to be an aethiest. My respect is greater for this individual than it is for the professing Christians who I share a belief with.
When you "took" your struggles, to the altar, did you really leave them with him? Trying to take over the fight, so to speak, will I think cause depression, and has done so in my own life.
Good luck! . | |
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| depression brought on by Christianity?
Posted: 5/11/2008 7:16:15 AM | So, in the past, you loved friends who you now avoid? It sounds a lot like you were living a more Christian life before, even with the perceived "misbehaviours," than you are now, having assumed the outer trappings of the faith. There is more to Christianity than attending church and reading scripture. One who truly follows Christ would, for example, never abandon a real friend for any reason, and would not refuse to associate with non-Christians. That kind of exclusionary bigotry is typical of "Christian" behaviour, but it is directly contrary to Christian teachings.
Also, I would strongly caution you to beware of anybody who claims to speak prophecy. They are usually (around 100% in my experience) claiming to speak "the word of God" but really just spouting their own warped and prejudiced views.
If your previous life made you happy, and your current life makes you miserable, then your past life was right, and your true path leads back to it. If your church gives you any hassle about it, then you're better off walking away from that church than from the people you love. | |
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| depression brought on by Christianity?
Posted: 5/11/2008 8:54:39 AM | To answer the Subject question: No. Depression isn't brought on by Christianity. That is, there is nothing intrinsic to the one that causes the other. However, unresolved feelings such as anger or guilt (real or imagined) can bring on depression. Some depression is a natural cycle in life, and should only be a cause for concern when it becomes excessive in length or depth. For example, even healthy people have occasional thoughts of suicide when they feel overwhelmed by life and circumstances, but constant thoughts of suicide require professional help.
I would suggest that you are not so much depressed (in a clinical sense) as you are unhappy or discontented, at a place of unease with your life and your expectations and thoughts. You seem to be at odds with yourself, in a conflict within yourself, sort of unanchored and adrift, unsure of who you are and how you should be. My suggestion is that you search out for yourself who you are. You are young and have a whole lot of living ahead of you. It would be best if you can live those decades to come true to your own self and who you are. But that requires the work of figuring out who you are and then being that person. Others can advice or suggest, but this is your life, your self, and your responsibility so take it on with all that energy of youth and learn how to be you and accept and love you as a wonderful and lovely creation of the God you love and believe in. Understand that He has placed a great value on you, and that the best thing you can do is realise that value and love it to its full potential.
I don't know the circumstances of your church fellowship, but if it's not a good fit for you (and it sounds like it's not), explore other fellowships, other groups. Maybe a place with a vibrant ministry or group for young people, people your age, people you can feel some sense of belonging to. As for your old friends, what they believe in terms of Christ isn't nearly as important as how they treat you and others, whether they support and respect your beliefs, and whether they have similar value systems. Let the Holy Spirit guide you and not some small-minded narrow interpretation of the Scriptures. Leave you heart and mind open to His leading and let Him help you find the "right' people to hang out with. Pray often and ask for clear direction, scrutinize everything and seek and pray for wisdom and discernment. And if you mess up, ask forgiveness quickly and move forward. Above all, live your life honestly before God, and trust Him to guide you with love. | |
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| depression brought on by Christianity?
Posted: 5/11/2008 8:58:39 AM |
Do you think my beliefs caused my depression?
No I think your lack of belief mixed with the letter of scripture you interpret, is what is killing you spiritually.
If I may get right to the root of the problem....there is no good news in your gospel, and so there is no true belief that Jesus is truly the Christ. When a christian's belief system is based on how well they can behave to earn merit and favor from God, then Christ is removed as being the Savior and a false gospel is believed and taught to others, that is always dependant upon works of righteousness and not of faith in what Christ has done.
Your religion seems to have adopted some 'christian commandments', and this is where I would see cause for alarm and get out of the religion. Christian commandments have been deriven from the New Testament, but this what not meant to be the case. There is no freedom from sin as long as thier is a commandment that needs to be observed.
Romans 7
8But sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, produced in me every kind of covetous desire. For apart from law, sin is dead.
Do you want to be free of sin, and free of condemnation??,, then get rid of the commandmnets that have been formed as yokes in your spiritual life. The commandment is what causes christians to sin. and in my opinion fall away from the faith. | |
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| depression brought on by Christianity?
Posted: 5/11/2008 9:40:07 AM | I too have had a rather presbytarian up bringing from an early age which; having travelled and educated myself through bitter experience and living other cultures believe is the natural way to find substance and value to your own life. I feel tremendous guilt at times where others wouldn't bat an eyelid, almost as if the self serving hypoctitical sanctmonious cretins had some kind of masicistic grudge against anyone vulnerable enough to be within that society (in my case rural northern scotland) So, like me you spend your time thinking too much and worrying what others might think, when the reality is you have to be comfortable within yourself..Try not to let things worry and bring unnecasary dilema to your short life
enjoy it and find happyness in little things! slow down.
Peace Love Light | |
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| depression brought on by Christianity?
Posted: 5/11/2008 11:10:47 AM |
With all of this new found glory, I feel like crap, my friends think I think that I am better than them. Of course they do, since you've let them know that...
"we shouldn't be unequally yoked with unbelievers" by telling them that I can't be friends or date someone who isn't a Christian. ...which bluntly tells them that you consider them less than equal. If your friend told you that they can't be friends anymore because they don't want to be "unequally yoked" how would you feel?
Your "new found glory" sounds like new found arrogance and a lack of respect toward those who believe differently. There's billions of people in tens of thousands of religions around the world - the really stupid and arrogant followers like to think their religion is the one 'true' religion and all others are wrong. Intelligent and humble believers realize that their beliefs and interpretations are not superior to others.
Personally, I don't believe in not associating with my friends just because they don't believe what I do, that just seems selfish to me.
Great! And you can demonstrate that to your friends by accepting them as they are.
You were arrogant and proud, and you lost your friends because of it. No wonder you're depressed. Oops wait, my mistake, depression is impossible apparently...
According to Adler, the sole cure for depression is becoming interested in the welfare of others. This is one of the primary goals of religion. So by keeping your religion, you won't be depressed. Ever.  | |
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| depression brought on by Christianity?
Posted: 5/11/2008 12:04:53 PM | | ^^^ Depression is possible. But it needs you to be totally self-absorbed, and far more interested in your own life than other people's, and this is coming from someone who has had depression for many years. | |
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| depression brought on by Christianity?
Posted: 5/11/2008 12:47:57 PM |
To answer the Subject question: No. Depression isn't brought on by Christianity. That is, there is nothing intrinsic to the one that causes the other. However, unresolved feelings such as anger or guilt (real or imagined) can bring on depression. Some depression is a natural cycle in life, and should only be a cause for concern when it becomes excessive in length or depth. For example, even healthy people have occasional thoughts of suicide when they feel overwhelmed by life and circumstances, but constant thoughts of suicide require professional help.
I would suggest that you are not so much depressed (in a clinical sense) as you are unhappy or discontented, at a place of unease with your life and your expectations and thoughts. You seem to be at odds with yourself, in a conflict within yourself, sort of unanchored and adrift, unsure of who you are and how you should be. My suggestion is that you search out for yourself who you are. You are young and have a whole lot of living ahead of you. It would be best if you can live those decades to come true to your own self and who you are. But that requires the work of figuring out who you are and then being that person. Others can advice or suggest, but this is your life, your self, and your responsibility so take it on with all that energy of youth and learn how to be you and accept and love you as a wonderful and lovely creation of the God you love and believe in. Understand that He has placed a great value on you, and that the best thing you can do is realise that value and love it to its full potential.
I don't know the circumstances of your church fellowship, but if it's not a good fit for you (and it sounds like it's not), explore other fellowships, other groups. Maybe a place with a vibrant ministry or group for young people, people your age, people you can feel some sense of belonging to. As for your old friends, what they believe in terms of Christ isn't nearly as important as how they treat you and others, whether they support and respect your beliefs, and whether they have similar value systems. Let the Holy Spirit guide you and not some small-minded narrow interpretation of the Scriptures. Leave you heart and mind open to His leading and let Him help you find the "right' people to hang out with. Pray often and ask for clear direction, scrutinize everything and seek and pray for wisdom and discernment. And if you mess up, ask forgiveness quickly and move forward. Above all, live your life honestly before God, and trust Him to guide you with love.
Very wise words, brother. 
A few weeks ago, after returning from an altar call I was approached by a lady well known in my church but, because of my absence, I didn't really know her.
She stated a profiecy over me saying that God had told her that my body wasn't my own, that I needed to be aware of the company I kept, and that I would be distant from my friends, with many thinking that I'm being anti social.
She also said that (in references to my sexual habits) that God would have a husband for me, at the appointed time and children too (though I don't plan on getting married for a while, or having kids in the least)
Oy. This is something that needs to be approached very cautiously. There are so many people in churches today (some of them even well-meaning) who do this kind of thing. They "claim" to have a word from God for you. It's their words, but they believe they have the authority of God. The only words you can know for sure have the authority of God are the ones you find in Scripture. If this woman represents the kind of church you are attending, I strongly, strongly recommend you find a different church.
Fast forward to now.
I have chopped off and fwb relationships that I have had. Broken a heart or two as well. My friends totally think I'm lame now that I've found my "new found glory" and I've even bruised some friendships in the terms that "we shouldn't be unequally yoked with unbelievers" by telling them that I can't be friends or date someone who isn't a Christian.
Well I applaud you for choosing not to date unbelievers. God has indeed called us not to be yoked together with unbelievers. This is not because unbelievers are unworthy, or less than us. We are all sinners, every one of us. What it does mean is that God has called us to live a certain kind of life, for His glory. Being a Christian is more than just having a pocket religion. It is our entire life, our purpose, our world. Glorifying Christ is everything, right? And so when on this life journey, how much better to travel in the same direction (yoked together) with someone who is on that same journey? I can tell you from experience, that having that spiritual connection with a believer is an amazing thing, a wonderful gift.
But please do consider what being yoked actually means. It refers to commitment, bond, partnership, etc. God does not call us to be cut off from the rest of the world. There is nothing wrong with having friendships with unbelievers. Now, if your old friends are constantly pulling you into a sinful lifestyle, then it may be best to take a step back. Not because they are unbelievers, but because you need to consider your own weaknesses and live accordingly. But if they do not pull you into anything sinful, don't separate yourself from them. There is no need. They are your friends!
With all of this new found glory, I feel like crap, my friends think I think that I am better than them. I'm depressed to the point where I stay at home, work out mon- friday, eat, paint, and lay down for hours.
Doesn't sound much like glory, does it? I remember going through that in my early 20's when God pulled me out of the party lifestyle and back to Him. It was an exciting time of spiritual awakening and renewal. But it was also very lonely as my friends all abandoned me when I stopped living that life. So there were times of depression. You're going through a transition right now, figuring out how you want to live your life and who you want to live it for. And you're going to make mistakes along the way. We all do. You're in that middle place, where you still miss the old you and the fun you use to have, but also looking forward to the new you, the one who is living for Christ now. It probably feels like you don't belong anywhere right now. And you may feel that way for a while. But it does get better!
Some may say that I should pray and get into the "Word", fellowship with people in my church etc. Or serve in the Church. I read my Bible as well.
This is good advice.
The thing is, I've know most of the people in my church for years and I don't find pleasure in fellowshipping with any of them! There is nothing really going on in my church and I don't have a drive to start something.
Like I said, you might need to find yourself a new church. Yes it's difficult to get out there at first, but it's well worth it, trust me.
I miss the old me terribly. I believe aside from me getting my freak on, I was a pretty decent person. I didn't judge, loved my sinner, and non sinner friends. Stayed out of trouble, but had fun as well.
But you're still a sinner too, right? How do you feel about that sin in God's light? Is that something you want to keep doing, really? Or is it just the feelings of "fun" that you miss? What do you mean by "stayed out of trouble"? Is that all that really matters in the end? I'm not trying to be hard on you, but I think maybe you've got a lot to think through still.
When we're new in the faith, we can be a little overzealous, even to the point of legalism. The problem with that is that it's not really honoring to God, and it's totally self-defeating. That may be part of why you're feeling that call to go back to what you know. You've got to find that balance, where you are truly serving and honoring God, but not putting up unrealistic and unbiblical boundaries.
And everyone knows that as a Christian, you aren't supposed to crave those things, that you are to take off your daily selves and take on the cross.LOL, welcome to the human race. We are all tempted by various things, and we all sin. So don't beat yourself up about missing the things that "felt good". But do consider those things in the light of God's holiness, and whether they are really things you still want in your life. You've got to be honest with yourself.
Don't give up your old lifestyle unless you really want to, and for the RIGHT reasons. Not out of fear, but out of genuine desire to serve God. Otherwise you're lying to yourself and God, and it accomplishes nothing.
I am more miserable then before when I was running around "sinning" logically people would say
"Of course you are miserable! The flesh craves sin! It looks good, but in the end, your soul will suffer etc."
My guess is that you're miserable because you're going through a lot of changes, and you're lonely. Do you think you would be happier going back to your old lifestyle? Seriously think about that. You need to know for yourself, not just because people in your church say so. If you really do love God and want to serve Him, you will lose that desire for your old lifestyle and eventually realize that you are truly a new person that just does not fit with the old crowd anymore. You'll feel like an alien, a stranger in that world. Your desires, goals, attitudes will change as the Holy Spirit works in you. This does take some time though.
Personally, I don't believe in not associating with my friends just because they don't believe what I do, that just seems selfish to me.
Neither does God, so I think you can relax on that one. :)
I can offer my opinions in hopes to save their souls but why should I have to worry about the after life?
Now I'm curious about what kind of friend you are if you don't care about where they will be spending eternity. I'm not suggesting any sort of Bible-thumping or trying to force your beliefs on anyone. In fact, I strongly discourage it. But caring about your friends enough to be a witness is a loving thing. Who is this Jesus, and why should they care? Do you really love Him? Don't you want to share Him with the world? Of course, it is not up to us to save souls. That's God's job alone. But we are called to share His truth and love with the world. It is our privilege!
Do you think my beliefs caused my depression?
More importantly, do you?
Are you truly renewed, or were you manipulated into an emotional alter call that was really nothing more than a guilt system? That is something really important to consider. What is your heart's desire?
As believers, yes we are called to take up our crosses. We are promised a difficult life. BUT we are also promised the joy of the Lord even amidst trials and difficulties. He is our joy and our peace. I don't know if you like to read much, but I want to recommend a book to you. It's called "Desiring God" by John Piper. He calls himself a "Christian Hedonist". I think you will find this book to be a very interesting and helpful resource.
Blessings to you, sister. I pray for God's wisdom, strength, and peace in your life.
If you want to talk more, feel free to email me.  | |
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| depression brought on by Christianity?
Posted: 5/11/2008 1:01:31 PM | ....OP I can totally relate being raised Mormon in a town that had almost no non-mormons in it, the psychological pressure can be huge. It took me until I was 26 to be able to relate to people that weren't brought up the same way. Even to this day my best friends are renegade mormons who I've known forever.
as far as how to help? i think Scorpio hit this one on the head again. Step outside yourself and work for others, there is nothing better for depression. Other than that, a few posters hit on the idea of just going with what feels right from WITHIN, not what is DICTATED from without from people who are way better showmen than what you might realize.... | |
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| depression brought on by Christianity?
Posted: 5/11/2008 1:38:28 PM | There is some great advice here OP.
Depression, imo, is bought on by a lack of self-worth... what better way to instil this than being subservient to something that smothers you?
You may not agree, but in my experience of the religious dogmatic it is better to keep your own thoughts and them at arm's length! | |
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| depression brought on by Christianity?
Posted: 5/11/2008 5:10:47 PM | From my own experience, dear OP, I can tell you that it is not good to stay in a church in which you are not feeling loved, blessed, or uplifted. You will not grow in your faith if you are feeling persecuted, judged, or criticized. As someone else has already mentioned, it would be a good idea for you to find a church with a vibrant, active, onfire youth group.
While it is true that we are not to be yoked with unbelievers, we are still taught to pray for them, shine His light in their presence, and bottom line... to love them. This love is not to be expressed in the physical sense, but rather in the way we speak to them, interact with them, and, when (and if) the time is right - witness to them.
In reading your OP and your other comments in this thread, I sense that it is not a matter of being depressed but rather a sense of discontent. Spend time in the Word, seek God's wisdom... remember the verse, (not a quote)Knock and the door shall be opened, seek and ye shall find. Pray to the Lord, ask him to give you peace and contentment. Visit other churches, remembering to pray both before you attend the service and/or youth group, and when you leave.
Remember to trust in the Lord. He does have a plan for you, a purpose. (see Jeremiah 29:11)
Edited to add: I agree with the other posters who recommend that you find a way to volunteer in the community. I have been a volunteer for many years, since accepting Christ. I have been blessed by my service, both in meeting people from all walks of life, old and young, and in growing closer to God. I used to be a very selfish person, but the Lord has made me a new Creation, one who loves to serve others.
Blessings to you, my sister. | |
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| depression brought on by Christianity?
Posted: 5/11/2008 6:41:56 PM | Sorry to disagree with my fellow posters, but I do think your Christian belief can cause depression. Now, keep in mind I am stating your belief. There is a great distinction and difference at times from what Christ taught and how certain religions, churches interpretate those teachings.
As one who was raised in an extremely strict dotrine where all sin is bad ( even thoughts) and you lose your Salvation when you sin, well it got rather depressing for me at times. Even when older and I realized that God still loved me when I succombed to my basic sinfull nature, certain things preached by Christians has caused depression for me.
While injured bad after an accident, shortly after my ex ran off, I watched a lot of religous shows on tv. There was the ones, telling me that God would never let anything happen that we cant handle, God wants his people rich, God will always answer every prayer , all that crap. The pat answer every time for every one of them, was if your prayers and wishes were not granted, it was always a case of not having enough faith, or the one I love the most, there was some sin keeping you from reciveing Gods blessings.
Does that not cause depression when you know that God isnt answering our prayers, and like the old legalistic teaching drummed into me as a child, it was of course my own fault?
Yes Christian belief can cause depression I think, also can every other belief at times. Cant imagine anyone not having doubts at time about their belief, no matter what it is. For a Christian, this in its self can cause depression, for so much of Christian belief and especially church doctrine is based on having strong faith.
For sure, nothing more depressing than some zelot fellow Christians saying your problems are because you have weak faith, must be sinning or some other ' helpfull" suggestion. I concur that what Christ taught us should not cause depression, however separating what he taught and the false doctrines drummed into us can take years at times , sheesh, for me decades.
So what the person perceives as Christian doctrine is one and the same to that individual at times, and can cause depression I believe. | |
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| depression brought on by Christianity?
Posted: 5/11/2008 7:44:36 PM | Thanks to everyone for your advice and taking time to reply to my post.
This is off topic but,
I want elaborate more on your responses but I'm on my mobile, and responding to each one will be a bit tediuos and I will do so tommorow so bear with me. :)
Just know that I am taking this all into consideration, and will better respond tommorow.
I'm very overwhelmed but also very grateful that I've received so many responses from you all on something I'm struggling with.
Thanks a lot. | |
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| depression brought on by Christianity?
Posted: 5/11/2008 8:53:25 PM | racheljay, I know you said this was off. I just read this evening and I just had something simple to say.
Matthew 11:30 -- For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
God loves you! He knows every sin you have committed and will ever commit. And He loves you still! No matter how many times we mess up. He knows your heart and all the battles/tribulations/trials you go through and will go through. He was not crucified on the cross for you to lose your salvation just because YOU "slipped up"; what good would that have done. YOU WERE BOUGHT AND PAID FOR WITH A PRICE and once you are HIS child, you are HIS. No one can pluck you from His hand. Thank God for His Amazing Grace! JUST REST IN HIM AND TRUST IN HIS LOVE FOR YOU AND WHAT WAS DONE AT THE CROSS, FOR THERE IS YOUR VICTORY. He will give you peace, and rest, and joy unspeakable.
None of us on our own are worthy in ourselves; we cannot do it ourselves; but through the Cross. | |
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| depression brought on by Christianity?
Posted: 5/12/2008 12:22:57 PM | There are some really good posts offering advice and encouragement.
Just to share with you how I perceive faith apart from works of human merit. Human merit is the way of mankind, always has been and we are trapped in a realm that functions on the merit system...but it is like God says...'My ways are not your ways'..
Even faith seems to have been twisted into human merit when it comes to salvation...however I find no peace in this type of faith that requires human merit and has been qualified as being 'biblical' faith...
Faith to me is completely dependand upon God's faithfulness, if God is not faithful then we are all condemned, because every one of us is lacking in the faith that is required to save us. From the first disciples till today, every single christian has been unfaithful in thier committment to God.
So God devised a way that is higher than man's ways, He has made our salvation dependant upon His own faithfulness, and if we deny or contradict Him and say that God's faithfulness is unnecessary, then He will contradict this lie and deny it for us, and prove His truth shall stand. Let God be true and every man a liar.
2 Timothy 2
13 If we believe not, yet he abideth faithful: he cannot deny himself.
So in reality as a christian, my salvation rests in the truth that God is faithful, and I don't consider it to be of my own faith that I am truly saved, but by God's faith. So when I claim to have faith, I am not claiming to possess the ability or merit for salvation, but am just believeing that God is not going to fall short of the faith that is required of Him to bring us into the fulness of His Son's image. So the way I see it is, our salvation is determined in the truth that God cannot fail, and not in the fact that we have faith to merit us salvation.. | |
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| depression brought on by Christianity?
Posted: 5/12/2008 10:34:23 PM |
In other words, you had no choice in the matter. and in my opinion, what you are feeling now is a confusion brought about by two conflicting sides of yourself. Part of you has been conditioned from early on to believe that the Christian way of doing things is not only the right way, but the only way. The other part, which is your questioning human mind, is telling you there are more options out there than blindly following the faith of those around you.
You hit the nail right on the head. I do feel rather conflicted on boths sides. I'm straddling the fence. But if you are conditioned to believe that this is the ONLY way, everything else tends to be immediately shut down. But then there's the worry that I will be that luke warm that Jesus spits out.
Think for yourself, realise you will still be a decent, caring, loving, worthwhile member of society regardless of what god [or no god] you believe in.
But is this the thing right here. If I think that way, will I be fooling myself into eternal damnation?  | |
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| depression brought on by Christianity?
Posted: 5/12/2008 10:58:22 PM |
It sounds like you aren't being honest with people.
You say that you cannot be friends with a non-Christian, but when you weren't religious you loved your "no sinner" friends.
You say that you cannot date a non-Christian, but when you weren't religious you didn't judge, but got your freak on, and managed to stay out of trouble. So if you didn't judge, then you wouldn't have turned a guy down just because he was a Christian. Plus, there is a committed Catholic on here, who is/was dating a Wiccan.
You stay at home, work out, eat, paint, and lay down. Where is the Christian in that? Why aren't you helping out at the local Church? Or doing something for G-d?
I believe I'm being very honest. I've always loved both my non Christian friends and Christian friends. In fact, I never thought I was "religious" at all. It wasn't an issue of loving them or hating them just because they didn't believe. I just FELT from others that I HAD to be done with them because they didn't belive which made no sense to me.
It's just that I have been brought up that you are to ONLY be friends with your Christian friends and if your Non Christian friends don't succumb to the Lord, you have to banish them.
It's like, Christians believe in marrying Christians, that if you don't marry someone who understands your walk, what's there to work out? If you're not going in the same path, why would you think it would work out? That is what I've been told is the same for friendship. If you can't win them over, loose them.
I however see in a sense of pulling. If they pull you down, it's better to be rid of them. But are you pulling them up?
However, I don't have to do crazy things that harm me, that some of my Non Christian friends do, doesn't mean I should stop being friends with them. We have other things in common and if they see me as someone who is changed for the better, they may want to as well.
I've said this in my post, the reason I didn't want to help in the church was because I didn't want to.
It seems to me that you are just being a Cardiac Christian. Your heart is in it, but little else. Christianity is all about love. You're judging your friends, you're judging potential boyfriends, you're judging strangers by avoiding them. I believe that you feel ashamed of your Christianity, and you are hiding it from others.
I don't feel ashamed, I'm just in conflict with what people think I should be believeing and what I actually believe. I didn't mean to judge them, I felt like I was pushed to judge them based on what I was told.
Surely, if you are loved by G-d, then why not act like it? Why not be happy? Why not be friends with everyone? Why not go on dates? Even if you are celibate, you can still date. It would just be nice to be warned that you are celibate until marriage in advance.
This goes back to what I said in my post. The reason I am not happy, is because I am not sure what I believe and what I should believe. I am unsure.
I want to be friends with everyone! This again goes against what I was taught. To not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.
My church and most Christians ,I assume, don't necessarily date unless they are planning to get married. I don't plan on getting married for a very long time. The guys I am interested in don't necessarily believe in sex after marriage, and the guys who do are only dating to get married in which I don't plan on doing for years to come.
I would suggest that you question if you are religious for you, or religious for show. If it is for show, G-d can see in your heart. If you actually mean it, then go to a minister who gives you a vibe you can get in touch with, and ask him how to show your love to people. Even if he's not your local minister, I'm sure he'll tell you the same.
The act of flashing Christianinity isn't something I do, or plan to ever do. My issue is that I was tired of "acting" and doing my own thing when I went home. I believe I know how to show love lol. My issue again is being real with myself and God. If I am a believer but not following EVERYTHING in the Bible, I don't feel like I'm being real. It's too much pressure.
What I notice about your post, is that before, you were uninterested in putting boundaries on your life at all. Now you are putting boundaries on your life, restricting you, and finding it difficult. Well, guess what? It is. It's like going to school. No-one wants to go to school. But you'll get a lot more out of life by going than not going. Giving yourself boundaries and self-control gives you more of life, not less.
Before I felt like I was in prison lol. I left, felt freerer, now that I'm back, I am in that same spot. | |
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