| Constructive Criticism Requested
Posted: 5/10/2008 8:14:51 PM | | OK, I'm tossing myself and my profile in to the wolves/sharks. Take a look at my profile and offer up any suggestions you may have other than changing the subject matter of my pictures. I feel like it is lacking something, I just can't seem to get it like I want it. | |
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| Constructive Criticism Requested
Posted: 5/10/2008 8:19:57 PM | I can't believe I'm going to say this... As it's a first for me...
But Great Job!!!!
The only suggestion I could make is to seperate your interests with a , or ; I forget which one, and they will appear in a list form easier to read...
Your profile has a theme which allows your personality to come directly through... Any lady reading it will know exactly what your personality is like....
Good Luck Fishing.... | |
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| Constructive Criticism Requested
Posted: 5/10/2008 8:20:22 PM | You know what? I like it. It is mature, and very down to earth. Just like you, I suspect.
Something you might want to consider is separating your interests with commas so they turn blue. This allows other people with the same interests to make a "hit" on your profile if they search that interest.
By the way, we don't let sharks or wolves post on this forum...they can't spell.
Good luck to you! Great job on the profile. | |
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| Constructive Criticism Requested
Posted: 5/10/2008 8:33:36 PM | Very witty and intelligent. Nice work dino!
Good pics, I see no real room for improvement here. Maybe brush up on the "first date" section but I can't say much, mine needs work to.
Good luck in your search for a "fishing pal".
Havoc | |
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| Constructive Criticism Requested
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:02:06 PM | | Danger and nursinggrl thanks for the advice on the comas, I tried the comma and it worked out great! | |
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| Constructive Criticism Requested
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:27:02 PM | Oh, come now people. The guy comes here just begging to be ripped apart, and all you folks can do is fawn all over him and tell him how wonderful his profile is? We've got a reputation to protect! 
So, I'll take on the job of Chief Ogre (since duece seems to have the night off). Starting at the top:
Headline: good!
Pictures: Nice collection of shots. The two of you in the purple shirts seem a bit over-sharpened, but that's minor; the profile pic, though, seems to be looking up your nose. Who are the kids in #4? Adding a caption would probably help... and unless you're selling that tractor I'm not sure why it's in your profile. Can't even tell it's you from that distance.
I know I'll get disagreement on this, but I think that pic #2 (you and the dog) is a *really* great shot of you; nice focus, clear enough to see who you are, and you look very handsome in it, and it shows you in a boat on the lake. Personally, I'd consider using that as your main... but Your Mileage May Vary. Either way, keep adding pictures, and consider eventually removing the current nostril-shot (#1). Just MHO.
Interests: nice list. Four or five more wouldn't kill you, but it's quite evocative as is, and you've got the hotlinking fixed so that'll help.
About me:
- Nice little analogy/story at the top.
- You can correctly spell 'dilapidated', but mis-spell 'civilization'? Oops.
- I'll save OFCB some work here and say that you haven't really described your ideal person much at all. You have said that you're interested in her 'inner person' ... but what should that inner person be like? Playful? Cuddly? Feirce? Opinionated? Aggressive? Submissive? Unless you describe her, she won't know that you're talking to her. (And don't pick the 'assumed qualities' that everyone wants, like: funny, honest, sincere, trustworthy, romantic, loyal, etc.)
- I'd suggest that you drop everything after "If you have read this far..." because: a) it wasn't a marathon to wade through (you should see some of them!) and b) everyone wants to be contacted and most people think that they're decent.
First date:
- "First date....I'm actually tiring of first dates...." is a negative emotion. It sounds like you're getting burned out, and is not attractive. Drop this part.
- The whole second paragraph is great. Seriously. Move this right up to the top, and then tack the remaining words on the end for a really great section.
- "Beer (comma) fish sticks (comma) and the local Wal-Mart..." -- you missed some punctuation there.
Okay, so I was a little harsh to what really was quite a good profile... but I do think that my comments are all valid. I hope that you found them helpful, and I wish you the best of luck. | |
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| Constructive Criticism Requested
Posted: 5/10/2008 11:21:45 PM | Bookrat thanks for your input and I agree with your comments. I suppose my profile is a work in progress which is as it should be.  | |
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| Constructive Criticism Requested
Posted: 5/10/2008 11:25:48 PM | Love the headline.
Profile was pretty good, lots of interests, variety of pictures and had some nice dry humor to it. Always a plus if the guy can pull it off, which you did IMO.
Best wishes | |
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| Constructive Criticism Requested
Posted: 5/11/2008 12:49:34 AM | - I'll save OFCB some work here and say that you haven't really described your ideal person much at all. You have said that you're interested in her 'inner person' ... but what should that inner person be like? Playful? Cuddly? Feirce? Opinionated? Aggressive? Submissive? Unless you describe her, she won't know that you're talking to her. (And don't pick the 'assumed qualities' that everyone wants, like: funny, honest, sincere, trustworthy, romantic, loyal, etc.)
Just don't expect to be put on the payroll!
OFCB
Looks like I arrived here a little late, but is obvious you were in good hands! Great profile!
best wishes
OFCB | |
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| Constructive Criticism Requested
Posted: 5/11/2008 11:28:04 AM | Bookrat,
After several hours work on my profile, please go back and review and see if this is in the right direction. I think I took most of your suggestions to heart and I'm pretty well satisfied with my profile now. I am just waiting for the tons of emails.....lol
Seriously, I had been on the forums when I first came to this site but for some reason gotten away from them, I'm glad I'm back. There are some wonderful people here and I am enjoying the reads and the conversations....
Thanks a million, you guys are great! | |
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