Keybz
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Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 1 | |
| Check Out my profile please
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:09:03 PM | | So i've had quite some difficulity on this site with having anyone message me or respond to my messages. Not sure of the reasons why this is really. but some imput on my profile do's or dont's might really be helpfull with me getting the ball rolling and having some people accutally talk to me! so any imput positive or negitive please and thanks! | |
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| Check Out my profile please
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:14:09 PM | I have couple questions, Your Honor.
1) What grade did you get in your English class?
2) What possessed you to put yourself playacting "I am a little teapot" song as your main photo? | |
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Keybz
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Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 3 | |
| Check Out my profile please
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:16:19 PM | Ok so i take it spell check is in order.
My main photo is that of me at a club having a good time. Not something good to express? | |
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| Check Out my profile please
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:16:42 PM | Well, I'll give it to you straight. This is a written medium here, so your poorly-spelled profile isn't doing you any justice.
You may be a smart guy, but a profile full of typos is like having a mouth full of rotted teeth -- that's what people see, and that's what they'll remember.
Copy your text into a word processing program and run a spellcheck. Or hell, there may even be easier ways to spellcheck your words that someone else will offer. But believe me, it really does matter.
You need a close up for your main pic. Unfortunately, you only have one close up to choose from, and it's grainy and hard to see. Use that one for your main until you can get more pics up. Make your "party-guy" pic be one of the last ones we see.
Post again in this thread when you're ready to have your revised profile looked at again. | |
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| Check Out my profile please
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:22:41 PM | I'm getting a headache. Okay Yevgeny and Major pointed out the spelling errors. Thank you.
The wall of text has got to go. Break it up into an intro, body, and a conclusion. Some sort of structure is the key to readability. Check out the "tips" thread on this forum.
What kind of girl are you looking for. You show "long term" but your pics and text say just the opposite.
Next.
Havoc | |
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Keybz
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Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 6 | |
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| Check Out my profile please
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:32:02 PM | New picture is much better, although I would get a closer look at your face . Crop some of the background out. It is good background and a good picture and pretty good face expression, but you need better face look for main.
Was the allusion to line from song "Turn! Turn! Turn!" deliberate or just an accident?
I'll admit, your fish photo is very different than the fish photos I usually see. Just be careful you don't plant the "Awww, it is so small" thoughts into minds of your potential dates. | |
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| Check Out my profile please
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:40:48 PM | Quick shots on this one:
- Mis-spelling your headline isn't going to get you much interest, especially when it looks accidental and not ironic.
- It scares me that 'Partys' (sic) has enough people listing it as an interest to be hotlinked. The word is *parties*, and with either spelling it should NOT be in an interest box.
- Directly quoting Duece here, because I can't say it any better: "You don’t get to tell us you are smart and/or funny. Those are qualities we get to assess. So prove you are smart and funny with your written word." Based solely on this profile, you're 0 for 2.
- The goat ate your First Date section. Go and get it back, then fill it out properly.
- Just so I'm not *completely* a negative nellie... your remaining photos are really quite good now.
Come back and see us again after a spellcheck and a few additional line breaks. | |
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Keybz
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Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 9 | |
| Check Out my profile please
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:48:18 PM | | I re wrote pretty much everything. please look over it again.. (fixing the headline right now) | |
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| Check Out my profile please
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:51:07 PM | Well the pics are better. The headline cracks me up, but I'm a dude. Women may find it silly but I'll let others be the judge. The wall of misspelled text is still present I see.
You're getting there though.
Havoc | |
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Keybz
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Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 11 | |
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Keybz
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Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 12 | |
| Check Out my profile please
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:55:47 PM | | any women out there that might comment on my profile? since it is targeted that way. | |
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| Check Out my profile please
Posted: 5/10/2008 10:00:56 PM | | Ursula already did. I am too burnt out right now to give you your due. I'll do it later. | |
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Keybz
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Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 14 | |
| Check Out my profile please
Posted: 5/10/2008 10:06:27 PM | | Ahh thank you for pointing that out nursinggrl, I'm looking for some comments after the changes i made. Your comments would be grate when u can get around to having time for it. | |
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| Check Out my profile please
Posted: 5/11/2008 12:56:22 AM | As advised earlier, you need a better picture for main.
List more in the interest section. At least a dozen or so, these come up in searches, so it is detrimental not to have it filled out properly.
The about me section still needs some work. You described yourself a little better, but what about 'her', you know the one you're searching for. What qualities and attributes are you attracted to, write a short paragraph about the kind of lady you want.
Oh, the profession: furniture store (small typo)
Don't skip the first date section. Use your imagination and fill it out, think of at least one nice little scenario to spark her attention. This is the last chance you have of doing that before she hits the back button. Make the date interesting, make her want to go on that date with you.
Good luck | |
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| Check Out my profile please
Posted: 5/11/2008 6:15:19 AM | I'm in agreement with those who suggest that you get a better main pic. The one you have makes you look like you're wearing some sort of fish costume!! One of your other pics is quite nice, but would be better if you were smiling - the one of you in the dark shirt.
I like the body of your profile, but would suggest that you mention a bit about the kind of woman you would like to meet - her interests, her values, her character.
Good luck in the pond. | |
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