| No Strings Attached Sex-- Ladies, can you do it?
Posted: 5/11/2008 3:00:40 PM | OK... here's a question that has been burning in my brain the past few nights ... ladies (and men feel free to chime in) do any of you think its possible for women to have sex and not get attached -- i.e. meaning NOT feel bad after a man leaves and likely doesnt return because he was upfront that SEX was all it was about? Also MEN -- most of you I hear are infamous for getting sex and dissapearing, but are there any of you that find it hard to not get attached to a woman after having sex?
Also- what is all the "attachment" before hand... is that just a seduction game ... as the man leaves afterwards... curious to know people's thoughts and ideas on this. | |
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| No Strings Attached Sex-- Ladies, can you do it?
Posted: 5/11/2008 3:05:28 PM | | Can't speak for the ladies but I think NSA is not a bad thing. Some of the best sex I ever had was NSA, do it and walk away. Can't say I didn't long for it again but it didn't make me chase them down to make it for ever... | |
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| No Strings Attached Sex-- Ladies, can you do it?
Posted: 5/11/2008 3:13:19 PM |
Also MEN -- most of you I hear are infamous for getting sex and dissapearing, but are there any of you that find it hard to not get attached to a woman after having sex?
It's not in my nature to have an NSA night. Unless there are feelings beforehand and it's moving toward a real relationship she won't get into my bedroom. I know...not a typical answer from a guy and you probably don't believe it but it's just not in my nature to be a dog. I wish I were more of a dog. Life would be a whole lot easier. | |
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| No Strings Attached Sex-- Ladies, can you do it?
Posted: 5/11/2008 3:25:13 PM | | Yes as a woman I can admit to have no strings ( f buddy sex ) and was not attached , we remained friends called each other now and again . he would come over deliver the goods leave and id roll over and go to sleep, worked out well until he moved back to cali .kinfa miss him he was 29 and we always had a good time. | |
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| No Strings Attached Sex-- Ladies, can you do it?
Posted: 5/11/2008 3:28:25 PM |
do any of you think its possible for women to have sex and not get attached
Sure its possible. I have alot of girlfriends that have NSA sex. Personally I'm just not wired that way, so its hard for me to even understand that line of thinking.
Sometimes, I think they're fooling themselves and pretending it doesn't affect them. I think when a woman can feel physical attraction, given enough time, she will start to feel more. Maybe its different for men, I don't know....but if it goes on long enough, more then likely one or the other will feel some kind of attachment to their NSA partner. I could be wrong, but as I said earlier, its very difficult for me to comprehend that type of situation, its just not in me to even attempt a FWB relationship. | |
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| No Strings Attached Sex-- Ladies, can you do it?
Posted: 5/11/2008 3:28:40 PM | Well that's 2 comments so far from the ladies ... myself personally, to respond: I tend to be very sensitive and its hard for me to get sexually attached without getting emotionally attached.. wish I could be better at it though--- if only to appease and recover more from men who use a woman for sex and take off ... not fair- that nature built them more capable of being callous ...
However-- I have a few times allowed myself a one night stand pleasure-- being upfront with the man that I wanted NO continuation and no emotional play .... just pure sex... no staying over night ... no calling me pet names ... that sort of thing. | |
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| No Strings Attached Sex-- Ladies, can you do it?
Posted: 5/11/2008 3:40:34 PM | | I can do it. I have done it. I prefer a friends with benefits thing to a NSA thing just because I like it better. Like being able to hang out and watch a game before or after and that type of thing. But, I'm not one to freak out if a man doesn't call afterwards either. If it was mutually satisfying, then it's all good. | |
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| No Strings Attached Sex-- Ladies, can you do it?
Posted: 5/11/2008 4:11:41 PM |
if only to appease and recover more from men who use a woman for sex and take off ... not fair- that nature built them more capable of being callous ...
Nature may have made them that callous. But women made it possible.
Men can only get away with one-night stands and casual sex because women let them... | |
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| No Strings Attached Sex-- Ladies, can you do it?
Posted: 5/11/2008 4:17:30 PM | M church-- NOT SO!
Not so because men LIE. Men can be hard to read and sell you the moon and you think that maybe, just maybe, THIS ONE is the right one.
Are you saying then that FAITH is a failing?
Sorry but women are VICTIMS of players and PLAYERS will go to great lengths to
create a secure facade.
They havent risen above animal/primal instincts, clearly! | |
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| No Strings Attached Sex-- Ladies, can you do it?
Posted: 5/11/2008 4:19:45 PM | NSA- never had a chick go he want to **** and then you can leave. Hmm interesting.
But as far as FWB goes it is possible and quite fun. As long as both parties are fully aware that it is an FWB situation. The first time in this situation was kinda hard for me to fathom. It was like ????????????? we have a great time hanging out, sex is decent and we aren't ever going to get to that OH BABY I LOVE YOU stage, and you are okay with that. You could have knocked me over with a feather. CS YOU ROCK! | |
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| No Strings Attached Sex-- Ladies, can you do it?
Posted: 5/11/2008 4:25:27 PM | a one-time only NSA upfront about it? Sure, what the hell. Have fun and enjoy yourself for a night. No not something I'd make a habit of, but I've done it before and really enjoyed it. Most def no strings there.
BUT....NSA sex on a regular basis? Maybe semi-regular, like a few times over a couple of months. Any longer than that and I'd (and have) sent out tendrils....little grabby strings of affection. LOL
I do think it's in our nature to attach and have feelings, sure.
But a one night only - all parties know that's all there is - I think that women and men are both able to do that and walk away happy. I just think that most of the time we don't go for that.
For me, personally, I find that my first time with a man makes me nervous. I much perfer a regular partner - I feel like sex just gets better and better over time. I talked w/a guy friend about this not too long ago and he said that he loved the first time with a new partner - really exciting to him and great and all that. But then he is much more into change and an exciting life than I am. LOL I like things to be familiar and constant much more than him. I don't know that that's a gender difference as much as a personality difference...but I could be wrong.
Kaylie | |
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| No Strings Attached Sex-- Ladies, can you do it?
Posted: 5/11/2008 4:38:00 PM | | I don't think I'd be able to have sex with someone and NOT have some sort of attachment. I mean, I've never tried, but then again, I'm not interested in trying in the first place. If I decide to give myself to a man, it's because he means something to me. I could never "get with" a man who only wanted sex. It's just not the kind of person I am. I need to have an attachment to him (ie: a boyfriend). Someone I like, love, etc. | |
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| No Strings Attached Sex-- Ladies, can you do it?
Posted: 5/11/2008 4:38:35 PM |
Sorry but women are VICTIMS of players and PLAYERS will go to great lengths to create a secure facade.
Hey OP... there are women that are players as well and many men fall victim to their lies. Please don't generalize and say
Not so because men LIE........They havent risen above animal/primal instincts
People being liars and players is not a gender related issue.
To answer your question.... absolutely women can enjoy sex for sex without emotional attachment. It's just a matter of whether they choose to do so or not.
I have had f*ck buddies and friends with benefits and it was a perfect situation at those times in my life. I could do it again, I just choose not to.  | |
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| No Strings Attached Sex-- Ladies, can you do it?
Posted: 5/11/2008 4:55:34 PM | Hi Laughing Libra-- then you obviously know something about women that I dont ...
I am not aware of women who are like that -- in my 42 years of life but you clearly and apparently have a different set of experiences....
Thanks for answering my post. | |
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| No Strings Attached Sex-- Ladies, can you do it?
Posted: 5/11/2008 5:15:14 PM | Alexis-- very interesting reply.. can you reiterate on what you mean by "crash hard" after sex.... ? Do you mean all the emotional/attachment feel-good feelings grab a hold of you and get you bonding???
Thanks! | |
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| No Strings Attached Sex-- Ladies, can you do it?
Posted: 5/11/2008 5:26:08 PM | | Instant bond. Attached. Wanting the whole boyfriend enchilada. I used to think I could control it, but in the end, I could only fake that I wasn't phased for about 24 hours, then I went straight to pining. | |
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| No Strings Attached Sex-- Ladies, can you do it?
Posted: 5/11/2008 5:43:14 PM | | I don't think it's a gender thing at all. Some women can easily do it and some men can't do it at all. For myself, I can separate sex from love so having NSA sex is easy for me. This may not be true for others. Some men I know would never even consider sex without feelings. To each their own. | |
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| No Strings Attached Sex-- Ladies, can you do it?
Posted: 5/11/2008 5:48:30 PM | | Never have done it and definitely never will. Goes against my values, beliefs, and morals. If they work for some great, but I'm looking for a relationship not just to get laid. | |
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| No Strings Attached Sex-- Ladies, can you do it?
Posted: 5/11/2008 6:06:12 PM | | I have some opinions about this that I will not post on here, but will be more than happy to share if you want to email me. I want to post but can't. So sorry to do that to everybody. | |
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| No Strings Attached Sex-- Ladies, can you do it?
Posted: 5/11/2008 7:33:21 PM | NSA sex is good for both parties if communicated from the very beginning. I can do it and I do do it. Yes women can do it as well. With a lot of women whining and crying about how men only want sex and that's true a lot of times but come'on ladies. Your just as guilty as us guys. I get offers all the time for NSA's and quite frankly I'm really not interested in one nighters. But the FWB on a continuing basis, that I can do and have done. Those relationships are so much easier to maintain than serious relationships, BUT communication is the key. I have also been offered FWB relationships from some of the most conservative women, women that I thought would never do that sort of thing. Treat them like ladies that they are and give them the respect they deserve. Take them home and watch out when you close the door, woohoo!!!!  | |
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