| The slut factor
Posted: 5/11/2008 4:57:28 PM | | A few years ago I was having a discussion with some buddies re: sexy vs beauty. There are some women who are attractive, perhaps even beautiful, but just not sexy. So what is it that makes a woman desirable? The discussion with my buddies centered around Meg Ryan. When she was in her movie prime she was bubbly, very attractive and really cute. But not one guy in the room would put her on a top 100 list re: going on the internet to look for porn of Meg Ryan. She's just, in the opinion of half a dozen men in the room, not sexy. The type you'd marry, take home to meet your grandmother but not the type who might be the subject of a sexual fantasy. Agree, disagree: Thoughts? | |
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| The slut factor
Posted: 5/11/2008 5:11:03 PM | Attractive/cute/handsome are the packaging.
Sexy is the confidence and state of mind.
I think some people have both, some have one or the other and some have neither.
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| The slut factor
Posted: 5/11/2008 5:21:18 PM | Couldnt you have called this 'Sex Appeal' rather than The slut factor?
One you find sexy and appear to think of as a slut is more than likely not... I wonder why you have labeled this such.
I think you are describing the good old Madonna/Whore scenario. | |
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| The slut factor
Posted: 5/11/2008 5:24:26 PM | Why did you call this thread "Slut Factor?"
Did you edit it quickly and just forget to change the header?
Weird...I can't concentrate...this usually never happens to me.
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| The slut factor
Posted: 5/11/2008 5:37:18 PM | Mate they are all sluts You just gotta get them in the mood, Women love the****as much as we love giving it to them!!!!javascript:smilie(' ')
javascript:smilie('') | |
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| The slut factor
Posted: 5/11/2008 5:53:50 PM | | I called it the "slut factor" because it appears that a woman who is beautiful but could be perceived as either virginal (which is the antithesis of sluttiness) or just so "cute" isn't really sexy. Sex, as we all know (at least I hope so) is very much a mental process and all foreplay begins in the brain. Perhaps a better question is: Are men turned on by women whom they have deemed in their minds to be extremely pure? (Also, among the guys how many of you agree with me re: Meg Ryan) | |
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| The slut factor
Posted: 5/11/2008 5:58:43 PM |
I called it the "slut factor" because it appears that a woman who is beautiful but could be perceived as either virginal (which is the antithesis of sluttiness) or just so "cute" isn't really sexy
Sorry Mike, I hate the word slut, and I'm really hoping here that not every man that finds beauty and sex appeal in a woman, percieves her to be a slut...please tell me I misunderstood?
Ok, obviously I'm not a guy so I don't know what most men feel is sexy, but I betcha if Meg Ryan had more boobage, those men might change their minds? Just my opinion, but what the heck do I know...lol | |
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| The slut factor
Posted: 5/11/2008 6:07:56 PM | I also despise that word [slut]. Anyone who uses such terminology has no manners, morals, or values! People are human beings, regardless of what you think of them!
What is sexy/beautiful is geared to ones perception. What one person finds sexy, another person might not!
That is my opinion! | |
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| The slut factor
Posted: 5/11/2008 6:20:07 PM | Op, I don't think it's nice to use the word "slut", I find it alittle sleezy and inappropriate. It's like when a woman classifies a guy as a "frog" or calling a guy "scrub" or someone who is alittle different a "freak" or "cheap ass" etc.
Also I agree with a statement above that said "What is sexy/beautiful is geared to ones perception. What one person finds sexy, another person may not." | |
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| The slut factor
Posted: 5/11/2008 7:20:21 PM | *giggling* i LOVE the power of words & their ability to invoke such strong responses...
which is why i shall now add the word 'slut' to my list of favorite words (somewhere on the list after the dreaded C-word, the most powerful of all words to use around women)
that aside... i think sexiness is a matter of proximity. sometimes the most innocuous people turn out to be very sexy up close & personal. they have that "it" factor.
the inverse can hold true also. one of my good friends is very hot, sexy-looking... and then the poor dear opens her mouth... *sigh*
while i see what you mean about Meg, she does have girl next door/your best friends sister sort of wholesome looks, perhaps in person she is sexy as hell. maybe she has that "it" factor. | |
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| The slut factor
Posted: 5/11/2008 7:58:59 PM | What women don't fully understand is that other women use the word slut to demean and control the ones they don't like, the ones who are exhibiting sex appeal to men. Men don't typically have an issue with it...so first off, blame the sisterhood for that one.
In addition to that, women are far, far more sensual and sexual that men. It's just that women have been put down by others so they think it's a good thing to hide their sexuality...it is neither a good or a bad thing.
Lastly, girls want to be with a man that makes them feel free to reveal their inner libidos...and the more a man makes you feel like a woman, the more you want to make him feel like a man...and so on...and so on. I never want my g/f to be a slut...but when alone, I do expect her to act slutty...to revel in and enjoy the time together. That's what this is all about.
I think the OPie just didn't have a better word in his head to describe that wanton, come get me look that he's characterizing as the slut factor. It's something that comes from within and varies with each encounter...just like the cute factor.
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| The slut factor
Posted: 5/11/2008 8:35:22 PM |
Sorry Mike, I hate the word slut, and I'm really hoping here that not every man that finds beauty and sex appeal in a woman, percieves her to be a slut...please tell me I misunderstood?
Yes. You misunderstood.
I rarely use or even think the word "slutty". I've heard the afore mentioned sisterhood overuse and misuse it so much it really has no meaning... was that already said? can't remember...
Actually the only time I use it is at the vendors booths at bike rallies when I ask a woman if she wants me to buy her something "slutty" to wear...
If I was forced at gunpoint to classify it, it would be down there with "skank"...
nah, Meg is cute. And cute doesn't offset or diminish sexy. A woman can be just as "cute" as Meg and still be sexy as hell... Really I don't think cute is the right word for her, but I don't know what else to use... But she's not sexy.
I've seen pictures of her in the wallpaper NGs where she was TRYING to look sexy, she just can't pull it off...
The closest Meg ever got to sexy was that fake orgasm in whatever that stupid movie was.... | |
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| The slut factor
Posted: 5/11/2008 8:40:26 PM | Sexy and slutty are two entirely different things. Back in the "When Harry Met Sally" days, I had a bit of a crush on Meg Ryan, or at least the characters she played. And it was precisely because she was so wholesome and bright and bubbly that made her sexy in my opinion. There's a lot of truth in that old saying about a woman being a lady on the street and a whore behind closed doors. Isn't that the ideal for most guys? And didn't that diner scene prove that her character in that movie was sexy as hell, while still being cute?
Yes, there is definitely a point where you look at a woman and you think, "Hey, I'd love to see her naked.", and that is a necessary part of the attraction. But if ALL you want to do is see her naked, she's nothing more than an object, and not a real person to you. | |
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| The slut factor
Posted: 5/11/2008 9:04:06 PM | Ok, the choice of words set off a few people, but I get what the OP is trying to say.
A lot of guys have had crushes on Meg Ryan.
She's 'cute' and seemingly very approachable.
That said?
Meg Ryan could have all the cleavage in the world, it wouldn't matter...to me.
I get this and yeah, I've had this conversation with buddies.
The Meg Ryan type.
The Angelina Jolie Type.
Meg Ryan is cute. I'd say beautiful. No question.
But she lacks...
...what Angelina Jolie has.
It's not even the way they look as much as it is that elusive 'x factor' that emmanates from someone.
There are women that can pull off that "come f*ck me look" without a thought.
Meg Ryan, at least in my opinion, isn't one of them.
Even when she's sitting at a table across from Billy Crystal faking an orgasm.
Although, apparently Dennis Quaid thought so.
...which once again, proves no matter what one person thinks of you, someone else sees you in an entirely different light.
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| The slut factor
Posted: 5/11/2008 10:06:46 PM | To the O/P
You certainly have got these pages "roaring" with the use of the "Slut" word!
I think most people would define the label "slut" as a woman loose with her sexual favours!
A Brief description for you!
Mt cats name is "Slut"
Reason..... She had sex with many male partners and often came home pregnant , only to leave others to care for her children (Kittens) and only to go out again and offer herself to the next Tom that happened by.
(By the way, that cat has since been fixed up....as should some of the sluts out there!)
Myself.... I would prefer the "SULTRY" look!
I would not find a slut attractive
By the way ,When I call my cat in of a night time, I Dont have women running up to me!
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| The slut factor
Posted: 5/11/2008 10:20:49 PM | Actually, The slut factor is an appropriate title for this thread. I'm sorry, but there is something to be said for slutty/trashy women.
And that something is this: They are doing a wonderful thing. I mean, why look down on them? A slutty heterosexual woman is going to make a lot of guys happy and I for one have no problem with that.
I just wouldn't marry her unless she changed. I think the OP was making the case some really nice, attractive wonderful women aren't sexy. Meanwhile, the down and dirty "Let me suck your****in a public restroom" types ARE sexy sometimes.
Having played on both sides of that fence, I know I prefer a combination of both. A woman I can really talk to, introduce my family to and who will also be willing to do the aforementiond lavatory fellatio.
A lot of us men say we want a woman who is a lady in the world and a whore between the sheets. There's only one problem with that. How the hell do you think she gets that way?!
If you find a nice, attractive woman and your aren't turned on sexually by her..just leave it alone. It won't work out. Like I said, I need a combination of both and the only reason I care about who she's been with? If she hasn't been with ENOUGH people. | |
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| The slut factor
Posted: 5/11/2008 10:21:30 PM | | I know where ya come'n from OP.. but unfortunatley now a days everything has to be "Politicaly correct" next time you might wanna use the word Sex appeal that might go over a little more easy LOL... But yeah your Meg Ryan's your Sandra Bullock's do lack the sexual look of that of a Angelina Jolie or a Jessica Alba... Very attractive women but they just lack that sex appeal. But I think Ludacris says it best " We wanna lady in the street but a freak in the bed" YEEAAA LOL | |
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| The slut factor
Posted: 5/11/2008 10:21:42 PM | Thanks to everyone who posted. Interesting and informative responses. And yes, I did, on purpose use the word "slut" in the title because I knew it would evoke the strongest reactions. (I'm a wordsmith and that is always my intention, evoking strong responses) The poster who wrote the bit about Meg Ryan vs Angelina Jolie was right on the money re: what I was asking. I also realized when posting that using the word "slut" would turn off many women who are offended by it (sorry about that) because, as another poster wrote, "it appears to be more offensive to women than men." And that is another part of this thread.
Personally, I agree that there is a difference between sexy and slutty. However, sexy probably has elements of "slutty" in it. Wholesome just isn't something you think of when you think "sexy." At least most people that I know don't. Again, the power of words.
One thing I knew would be interesting would be the differerent responses of men and women on this one. Partially because of the wording and also because I think women's view of another woman's view is far different from men's views. Keep the responses coming! | |
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| The slut factor
Posted: 5/11/2008 10:51:23 PM | There IS a huge difference between slutty and sexy. It's just that sexy is easier to find in a slutty woman up front.
Sexy is "I want you" slutty is "I want to **** you". The first one takes time, the second one less so.
I dated a very attractive, very nice woman last year who I didnt find sexy at all. I was a little worried...and then one day she flipped a switch and went from "I want you" to "I want to **** you" and I never had the problem again.
I should point out I didn't find her sexy before we were dating. I just couldn't sexualize her at all. So I must amend my comments from earlier. If you take the the time to get to know a woman and then begin a relationship and still don't find her sexy? THEN you should end it. But give them a chance first. | |
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| The slut factor
Posted: 5/11/2008 10:58:35 PM | | I think a woman can be sexy without being typically beautiful. Attitude, confidence, the ability to be herself can all be part of sexiness. But it all lies in the eye of the beholder. | |
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| The slut factor
Posted: 5/11/2008 11:07:28 PM | Thread title aside, this makes for interesting conversation. I've discussed this topic a few times with the guys. We'll be at a bar or pub, and debate the hot girls vs the cute ones (usually comparing people around us). Everyone always agrees on the hot/sexy ones. It's your typical girl you see all over the media, maxim, etc etc, and they're easy to pick out of the crowd. When we start pointing out girls we find cute, everyone has different tastes, and we hardly ever agree. We came to the conclusion cute always wins over hot. Hot girls get old/boring fast, and the cute ones are always the ones we go after. For some reason the hot ones do nothing for me. They're great to look at, but for the most part, I have no interest in them... they're just not cute.
I have the same dilemma in my life right now. I can't get this cute girl out of my head that I occasionally talk to. I can't figure out why. I'm not sexually attracted to her, and wouldn't consider her hot, but she has some undefinable quality about her appearance I can't get out of my mind. I'll compare her to another one of my female friends, which I find funnier, sexier, more mature, but for some reason, I always think about the cute one. Weird. | |
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| The slut factor
Posted: 5/11/2008 11:11:22 PM | | Why is that weird??? I think you know what you want. Cute vs sexy for you doesn't sound like a debate at all. | |
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| The slut factor
Posted: 5/11/2008 11:19:14 PM | Not to speak for anyone else, I'm just generalizing, but often times what we WANT and what we are ATTRACTED to don't match up.
That's what I got from it and I think it fits in to this thread. I want a mature, yes older, woman who can stimulate me intellectually and has volumes of life experience.
I'm attracted (meaning drawn to) women my own age who fit none of those criteria. I have no way of explaining that. Even though I find the the former sexy, I tend to get pulled in by the cute girls my age. Perhaps that's just me wanting there to be more to them... | |
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| The slut factor
Posted: 5/12/2008 12:20:43 AM | Saw the title and came running, thought it might have been about my ex.
Anyhow, umm... Being sexy doesnt make you a slut mate, so perhaps a renaming is in order there.
Luckily im attracted to the same types of folks sexually as I am emotionally and mentally. however ill be the first to admit im very conflicted with what I want at times...
I think the most important part is for us as indaviduals to know what we want going into any relationship. Ill admit though ill take cute over sexy any day.... But others may disagree... | |
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| The slut factor
Posted: 5/12/2008 6:23:24 AM | | Ummmm...in the real world, slutty's not gender-specific. Men can be that. Women can be that. And it's only in the most repressed cultures where people simply can't stop talking about it. Remember the Victorian era? People walked around buttoned up to their necks and pornography flourished. When Janet Jackson bared her breast on national television, it set off a firestorm of fevered commentary the likes of which I'd never seen. It was if the crowd of puritans that populate this country finally had a reason to come alive! | |
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