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| Profile review request + maybe pic advice
Posted: 5/11/2008 5:56:19 PM | Hey, thanks for reading.
I would appreciate an honest review of my profile. I actually get a few replies here and there from people, but I find that usually after the first or second message they will just stop replying out of the blue. I have yet to really meet anyone off of here, so I'm not sure what to think. I've met alot of people off of other websites, but they weren't dating sites so I'm guessing maybe my problem is my lack of experience on this kind of thing? (ANY advice on a first-contact message from me to a woman would be greatly appreciated, b/c I find myself spending too much time and effort into unique messages to every girl, 80% of whom just read them and delete like it never even happened) e.g. I'll usually say something like," hey, whats up? I wasn't going to write you but you live in (an area i'm familiar with) and actually like (something they like that i like as well), so you have some things going for you. do you by chance know where (a crowded meeting point nearby their location is) is? "
I'm also aware of the fact that girls judge guys by their worst picture, so if someone could pinpoint my worst picture to me I will promptly delete it.. lol.. I would myself but I'm not exactly my own best critic.. lol. javascript:smilie(' ')
javascript:smilie('') | |
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| Profile review request + maybe pic advice
Posted: 5/11/2008 6:07:47 PM | Okay you young stud, this is what you've got. Your frinds were right, you appear as****/arrogent. I would also suggest that it is far better to let them wondering if your ACTUALLY HUMOROUS, or to open your mouth and prove that your not. It is that bad I do not want to spend my time reviewing it. I suggest you go to the top of this forums first page,read the "profile writing tip" carefully,and try again. When you are finished,come back here and post on this thread ,and we will help you tweek it.
best wishes
OFCB | |
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| Profile review request + maybe pic advice
Posted: 5/11/2008 6:10:02 PM | Hey, buddy...do you want someone to just hang out with, or are you looking for a girl to date? Because if you are looking to just hang out I won't bother reviewing it in detail...dating profiles need to be a little more stringent than what you have there, hang out, not so much.
But, I can give you some advice on the pics: Every one of them that has the actual camera taking the pic, in the pic, ditch it. These pictures aren't flattering in any way shape or form. Get someone to take some good pics of you, but you really need to ditch all the mirror ones.
Let me know, and I'll put on my reviewing cap. | |
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| Profile review request + maybe pic advice
Posted: 5/11/2008 7:38:51 PM | I was trying to think of something comical to enter into this review but honestly it’s been a long weekend and after reading that profile I want to kick someone square in the bean.
I hate frustrating profiles. I don’t use the term hate loosely, but it really irks me to see crap like this. OP, when you joined this site did you read any of the info that they sent your way, be it on web pages or through email, as tips for how to construct a profile, do’s and don’ts, etc? Did you look at other people’s profiles? Before you posted yours for public scrutiny did you happen to look through the review threads and maybe check out some of the posts or the profiles in question?! You commit just about every cardinal sin in the online dating handbook. Naked torso shots, shots into the mirror with the camera, self-portraits, albeit not at arms length thank christoph, you ramble aimlessly about nonsense in your interest section, your headline is arrogant and offensive, you make fun of your chosen profession or study, and the body of text is just as arrogant and offensive as your headline, not to mention presumptuous! What is with all the side-talk and inside jokes?! Do you meet weekly with a “doctor” who asks you to colour pictures, create stories of messy prints, and you get a sucker and a chocolate milk on the way out from the nice receptionist or do you always talk to yourself?
Oh, by the way. Next time you want to include bare shots of your torso you should consider hitting the gym a few weeks in advance… and your looks will only get you as far as the superficial girls you described also.
No review for you. Deuce, out. | |
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| Profile review request + maybe pic advice
Posted: 5/11/2008 8:39:35 PM | Ehh....so much...so little time....and very little patience. It's Mother's Day...so in the spirit of the holiday...re: that...get used to it...be glad so glad you're NOT my son.
I'm assuming (more than likely so) your parents are paying for your education and probably chose your major...law BORING? Said like an ungrateful child. You are very early in your program so if you're going to a reputable school your crappy attitude...well won't win you any points.
If you're lucky in between spring break...figuring you ARE able to pull out passing grades. And have the gift of a diploma...once you are able to start practicing...if anyone will hire you..it'll be just a level above a paralegal. And won't even be at the salary level...but will have a "title".
You are not trail lawyer material...you'd be eat up and spit out in court. You don't have the balls, the brains or the grit.
When it comes to choosing a specialization...a few years down the road...real estate law, estates or guardianships, trusts...you don't need to be a lawyer to do that just to sign all the documents that everyone else does that just requires a signature.
I've worked and dealt with attorneys...not directly but often enough to know you won't do well...you don't have what it takes.
People generally don't like lawyers until they need one, and if they do they're looking to someone who is holding a very important fiduciary responsibility for doing their job that will have an impact on other people's lives. BORING...pfft.
Yes I meandered off topic...feel free to report this post and have it deleted. I have respect for the law, whether I agree with it or not. It IS important and it does affect people's lives.
You should be in cooking school...if you overcook a steak..big deal.
Women are "hot" for chefs!! Oh yeah...lawyers are boring...chefs...lots more women watch the Food Channel. Oh and the hat...SOO sexy!! And if you can do a wood grilled hot mustard basted grilled salmon....you're IN!  | |
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| Profile review request + maybe pic advice
Posted: 5/11/2008 8:47:44 PM | Your headline reads, "Shut up. You like it anyway." Is that a quote? Is it supposed to be funny? Man, if anyone *ever* said that to me, they'd get a sharp three-fingered poke to the trachea. Seriously. FFS.
Now I'm going to address your secondary question, 'cause it looks like the pros got to the rest of your profile ahead of me.
You said:
I'll usually say something like," hey, whats up? I wasn't going to write you but you live in (an area i'm familiar with) and actually like (something they like that i like as well), so you have some things going for you. do you by chance know where (a crowded meeting point nearby their location is) is? "
See that part I made bold? That's the part that shoots you in the foot. It's offensive and insulting. Why on earth you would *think* this, let alone SAY it, is really beyond me.
Quit thinking she needs to have "some things going for her" so you'll deign to email her (and she should be grateful?Blergh!), and start showing what you have going for YOU.
Besides a camera, youth, some good looks and a college education you're taking for granted, I mean.
P.S. If you find law *boring*, get out NOW. You'll just wind up being stuck in a law office doing something you hate to pay back your student loans. Unless your parents are giving you a free ride, that is. Then you should try to find something that interests you and focus on that. Give 'em their money's worth, at least -- the poor sods. | |
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| Profile review request + maybe pic advice
Posted: 5/11/2008 9:30:17 PM | No female YOUR age that had something going for her...would not only not have a passing interest. You don't have anything going or you....
Nothing...nada...it's boring...even at my age..and I've had lots of "young men" your age that had a lot more than you.Can't go there...but they really had a lot going on...not for someone their mom's age. Just can't go there...is it flattering not because of age at all...because they're talented...ambitious....not something frequently encountered at any age.
I am too...I do enjoy interacting...it's so interesting to talk about their plans...ambitions and to share mine, too. And share ideas...wow...that's always intergizing. | |
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| Profile review request + maybe pic advice
Posted: 5/12/2008 5:47:11 AM | Thank you for your honesty.
Especially the advice on my pictures, except for the incessant flaming that went on about my torso shots and some other things. Go to the gym a few weeks before? I'd rather show I have an actual 4 pack and not blubber like most lazy ass beer drinking goons my age.
By the way, my major is English and I am on the dean's list at an accredited state University. Being told I don't have what it takes to become a trial lawyer is an insult to my intelligence; if you knew anything about lawyers, you would know most don't go to trial, they settle cases beforehand. By the way I know about 6 "realtors" that work alongside me at my part-time job at Target. They must make a REAL killing doing that, huh?
Ugh.
Just ugh.
Like I said, thanks for the honesty but seriously if you posted a "review" just to be an ass to me, that's not what I wanted. The main goal of my profile was to be different from the rest.
I see guys(and girls) with two-sentence profiles and one measly picture of themselves with their shirt off and figure it can't possibly be that hard. There are 43 messages in my inbox from the past 4 days, so apparently I'm doing -something- right.
Like I said, I wanted criticism and help, not flaming. No one even made a suggestion about what to write in first contact emails, yet it was quick to be flamed.
I will however work on my pictures, because I realize now that the camera being in them does seem kind of my-space-ish and corny.
I'll also completely refurbish the text of my profile, for the sake of trying something new.
Enough of the flaming already, jeezus. What did I do to you? | |
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| Profile review request + maybe pic advice
Posted: 5/12/2008 6:07:49 AM | Here is a little life tip champ:
Do not say in five thousand long words what you can say in a few short ones and achieve the same end. The long way just makes you look like a tosser- and that is what is getting peoples back up.
Just typing more and saying how awesome you are does not even get you good reviews, it sure does not get you dates with women. | |
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| Profile review request + maybe pic advice
Posted: 5/12/2008 7:04:25 AM | Thank you sir!
That was really good critical advice.
I will take that to heart and try to be less self-explanatory of myself, I mean why should I have to in the first place?
By the way, I have finished rewriting my profile.
I hope it is more along the lines of what people will not perceive as an uneducated farce of a college student with a bad attitude towards his life goals.
I've also deleted every picture I had with the camera included.
More will be coming soon. :) | |
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| Profile review request + maybe pic advice
Posted: 5/12/2008 8:15:04 AM | No one was flaming you about your pictures OP. We were merely shooting straight so that you get the raw truth here. Why would we pat you azz and send you off into battle with a baseball bat and catcher’s gear when the rest of the troops have guns and helmets and body armour? You asked for help, and we are offering it up but with what you had before there’s nothing we could really do for you aside from send you in the right direction and ask you to fix it first. You were asking us to review a profile that did not exist.
I kind of like the new headline, although it may come off as a little negative or demeaning to others. But it’s up to you to keep it or not. And hopefully you follow through on your pictures because neither of those two are good for business. Make sure your main is a close-up with a smile or some sort of look. And just remember to leave pictures that include torso’s (unless you are at the beach), cellphones or cameras, women, beautiful women, children that aren’t your own, pets, and booze or partygoers out of your pictures.
Your interests are much better but you still need to make sure they are done properly so that all of them are searchable. Horror films must have been entered wrong because it should have shown up, but for the rest of the unlinked ones use these: stargazing, astronomy, physics, malls, and bookstores. You are 20 so it’s alright to not be cultured yet.
Alright, now I like your first paragraph because it shows the complete opposite of what you displayed previously. It shows someone dedicated to a career path, and who has work ethic because he works nights while going to school. I wouldn’t suggest your free time is scarce, as she’ll likely assume that means you’ve got no time for her. You could say that you still find time for a social life amidst your busy schedule.
You should never say you will ONLY associate with certain people. That makes you sound superficial and petty. You can certainly say you would like to meet someone with loads of personality, and you can go as far as explaining personality traits that interest you. Also, don’t give out your email address. Not only is it against site rules and can get your account banned it doesn’t bode well for you with the women. They do not see this as a positive. Trust me.
And of these 43 messages, how many of them are new contacts from a new woman that is interested in you and not looking to say something crass about your profile?
For your first date you described a first meet. But you have listed yourself as looking to Hang Out, which is generally considered deceitful on this site. If you just want to take things slowly because of your last relationship then you should put dating but state this. That or list yourself as friends. Many people under 25 on this site will not use the term “date” because of many different reasons. Too formal, too old school, to suggestive, etc. They use the term hangout instead. Pot, meet kettle. And the red flag usually flies high when a guy is looking to hang out and he ONLY mentions women he wants to meet. If you merely wanted to meet friends and hang out why wouldn’t you include men in your profile?! Just a thought to consider. The readers certainly will.
Otherwise you are on your way. Make some tweaks here and there and keep heeding reviews listed in here and in the TIPS thread.
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| Profile review request + maybe pic advice
Posted: 5/12/2008 8:56:43 AM | Alright. I have to say Deuce, I definitely appreciate your most recent post alot more than the previous.
I've changed a couple of things here and there more or less along the lines of what you said, basically because you make some good points.
I also have to admit I have been reading some of your other posts, and you really like to lay it down hard on people don't you? haha. I do however agree with your stand on that one 43 year old cab driver seeking a young, hot, pure virgin. I myself would have some trouble finding(and probably attracting) one of those! lol, he definitely is "off his rocker" and does need some help. Kudos.
I decided to keep the headline, for the mere fact that I can't think of anything better at the moment. As for my pictures, I used to have a very good one of myself smiling wide with teeth and all in a dark blue dress shirt, but I can't seem to find it. :( So I suppose I'll have to produce a new one sometime soon.
Now however, back to the comment you made about the messages. Most of them are short , to the point and relatively uninteresting to me. The way I feel, we already read each others profiles so there is no need to exchange mile long emails. After the 2nd or 3rd message I think it's time to just meet up and see what happens.
Your opinion/anyone elses?
Perhaps advice on initiating the emails? lol, this thread has yet to touch on that one.
Personally I find that the women I meet in real life tend to like me --alot--- more than women I meet on here. (hence the 2 year relationship) Although I have met about 4-5 women off of the internet over the years, it seems I've lost what ever I had that those girls saw in me. Plus, the "internet" relationships I had seemed to move a whole lot faster and in a different direction.
Maybe I'm just overthinking things here. Afterall, love is blind right? | |
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| Profile review request + maybe pic advice
Posted: 5/12/2008 9:48:26 AM | I don't consider it hard-laced. I think Uncle Crazy is much firmer than I am. Granted, if I post late at night I tend to ease on the restraints a bit! LOL The scary part about that taxi driver is that he's in my own backyard. And I have a five year old daughter who will be prime for him in 10-13 years. FOOK.
The new pictures, for the most part, do you an injustice. I’d keep the first and last pictures you have now and lose everything in between. But you need to post something with a smile and preferably not just around the house. Mystery does NOTHING for a 20-year-old with no life experience! LOL
As for your approach to contact messages, the one you are using now is the bane of your internet dating life, much sooner than your profile is. I doubt they’ll read your profile after reading that type of message. You say “hey, whats up? I wasn't going to write you but you live in (an area i'm familiar with) and actually like (something they like that i like as well), so you have some things going for you. do you by chance know where (a crowded meeting point nearby their location is) is?” and I read “well seeing as how I’ve got nothing better to do I felt like saying hello sort of. Wow, you like something that I like also, surprisingly. Lucky for you! By the way although I havent’ driven by your house a dozen times yet I like your mailbox, and wondered if you’d like to get a coffee at that quaint little bistro you and your friend meet at every Thursday afternoon” or something like that! LOL It comes across as arrogant and creepy. If you want to keep your messages brief try this on for size:
“Hi there! I read your profile and was intrigued by your interest in literature. You seem to have a firm handle on what good literature truly is; you have good taste in reads. Some of my personal favourites are xxx, yyyy, and lest we forget zzzz; it is earth-shattering.
I also see you work in the education sector. What’s the most rewarding part of your day? What makes you get out of bed every morning with a little bounce in your giddy up? If you were given there wishes by a genie but the greedy bugger stole your first two what would you wish for?
I urge you to read my profile and if you’re interested I’m interested in getting to know you. If not, then good luck in your searches!
Xxxxx”
The problem with online dating is that the selection is thick here. She goes out on a date with you and when she gets back she's likely got a few more offers and requests in her mail box from new men. If she senses any one of them is a better fit than you she'll likely ditch the idea of you rather quickly. You need to be on your game at all times in this avenue. If you are going to meet quickly you need to strike hard, but come off as subtle. You need to leave a lasting impression. She should not be able to wait until you call, or she'll want to call you as soon as she can. And the waiting game here of calling people back makes NO sense. In real life I can kind of understand why some people do it but not online. She's moved on soon enough because there's more action here.
For the record I did not just imply that you should put on the moves heavy and try and get her into bed as fast as you can! LOL I can see some critics deducing that from my text. I merely advocated not pulling any punches. Show your true colours early and often. Be true to yourself, and be aggressive in what you want. | |
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| Profile review request + maybe pic advice
Posted: 5/12/2008 9:48:28 AM | Alright. I have to say Deuce, I definitely appreciate your most recent post alot more than the previous
I am sure you do young man, remember Deuce and I said what we did, because of your attitude when you came strolling in here was look at me I am Gods gift to women. I realize you do not see this at your age, but Deuces first statement is the one that helped you,not the one one you just thanked him for. YOU needed a swift kick in the a$$, and Deuce or I were happy to provide it for you!
I will now take a look at your profile.
Best wishes
OFCB | |
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| Profile review request + maybe pic advice
Posted: 5/12/2008 10:38:43 AM | I'm a student aspiring to become a lawyer, and eventually perhaps someday down the line a judge. I'm really committed to my studies, and I try not to let anything get in the way. I also have a full time job overnight at the local Target, so my stress level is higher than most so my truly free time-to-myself is much appreciated. The good news is, that's the boring side of me.
If you've continued to read this far, then you'll be surprised to learn that when I'm not involved with my "other life", I'm a pretty laid back yet playful guy. I'm really into cars, specifically imports, souping them up and making them look beautiful. That includes my own. If you don't share my enthusiasm about fast, beautiful cars, then thats fine. I don't brag or ramble on like some people do. ;)
I also find myself strangely attracted to the supernatural and superhuman, for example if you've ever seen the show Reaper or Smallville or even the show Supernatural lol, then that's what I'm talking about. I'm as well very skeptical of the existence of ghosts, in fact it has come to the point where I am keen to every little detail of the show Ghost Hunters.
I guess it could be said that I'm an I don't brag or ramble on like some people do. ;). (lol) In otherwords I tend to be more conservative and hold back my thoughts when I first get to know a person, but after an hour or two of solid, flowing conversation I open up and express the unique personality that I've strived to obtain. Don't misunderstand what I mean -- I AM NOT SHY! haha. I'm just not a crazy beer drinking frat boy that most people seem to stereotype me as at first glance.
Anyway, I know this is technically a dating site but I'm really just looking for a good -friend- in the area to hang out with. I've recently gotten out of a 2 year relationship and would like to just take things one step at a time, instead of jumping to the top of the staircase.
I'm not trying to be picky, but there remains the fact that I do have personal preferences -- I would prefer someone in between 5"1, and 5"7. Ethnicity is of no consequence to me, not so much however as --personality--. I usually associate with women who have some substance about them, that took some effort on their part to achieve.
I love nothing more in the world than a good laugh, so a sense of humor to match my own is definitely a plus...
If theres anything else you'd like to know, then feel free to hit me up for AIM.
There truly is a lot to share, so if I were you I'd get started right now. ;)
H i Dave, these are my thoughts onyour profile.
1. "I don't brag or ramble on like some people do. ;) DELETE This is NOT the way to attract a woman
2. "introvert/extrovert" Think of another way to say this.
3. "I love nothing more in the world than a good laugh, so a sense of humor to match my own is definitely a plus... This is an "assumed given" and DO NOT say you are funny, DEMONSTRATE you are funny. This means no "haha" AND no "lol" You CAN'T tell people when to laugh. I recommend DELETE
4 "If theres anything else you'd like to know, then feel free to hit me up for AIM.
There truly is a lot to share, so if I were you I'd get started right now. ;) DELETE
5. You need to think of at least 2 words that describe your personality. Then do the same for her. (Go look at my profile,if you don't understand what I'm saying.)Funny,fun,honest,caring,loving,loyal,etc. are NOT acceptable words to describe you or the woman you want to meet. Some examples of acceptable words that are UNIQUE discriptors, adventurous,geeky,oldfashioned,aggressive,introvert/extrovert,passionate,intense,
meek,layed back,etc.
best wishes
OFCB | |
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| Profile review request + maybe pic advice
Posted: 5/12/2008 2:52:28 PM | ^^^^^You guys' posts are too long.
OP, you said, "No one even made a suggestion about what to write in first contact emails, yet it was quick to be flamed."
Um, HELLO! My review was exactly about that, and nothing else, except your headline. I specifically showed were you were going wrong, and even suggested a different mindest to have when approaching this subject.
That's not flaming.
Flaming is like, "Hey, you're a real douchebag loser, why don't you go suck on your mama's titty?"
There's a difference.
Note: Flame is for example purposes only. No PoF members were harmed in the process of writing this flame. | |
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| Profile review request + maybe pic advice
Posted: 5/12/2008 5:59:28 PM | Alright.
These are exactly the kinds of reviews I've been looking for. I'm going to go through some pics later I've got stashed away, see if I can't find any of myself with my friends in the outdoors(I have no life experience? I've moved all over the country my whole life, lol.. maybe I should include that). I can think of a few but thinking back, there have got to be about 20,000 pictures in that box.. so.. yeah.
I've read all of your stuff, appreciate it and will work on things again soon -- unfortunately I slept from 12pm-9pm today and I'm due at work in like 45 minutes. Sooo..... It's gonna have to wait.
Thanks much.
--Dave | |
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| Profile review request + maybe pic advice
Posted: 5/12/2008 6:10:42 PM | Too wordy without saying anything:
Example:
"I'm a student aspiring to become a lawyer, and eventually perhaps someday down the line a judge."
Yeah, I just fell asleep.
Better:
"I'm a law student".
And don't open with your major... this isn't college! Attention Getters.. look it up.
This isn't just a profile issue, you need to talk as if you're still young and fun. | |
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| Profile review request + maybe pic advice
Posted: 5/12/2008 6:39:10 PM | I have a sugggestion on how you might be able to obtain some better portraits without having to spend a lot of money. I've read that you are a college student and that your major is English...thus you must be at a liberal arts college. This probably also means that there is a Mass Communications department which probably hosts a photography class or two. Most of those classes have students looking for people to photograph. You might just want to stop into the department to find out if there is anyone who is looking for a subject to photograph and be honest...tell them that you need the Jpegs for a press release online.
You might just find the photographer who can provide you with great portraits.
Another thing about portraits...they should be clean, properly exposed, and if possible they should show something about you. You are into supernatural things...are your dorm room walls covered with supernatural stuff? If so...be photographed with that stuff in the background.
The best portraits taken by people who don't own the lighting that those of us in the industry do...are outdoor portraits.
Oh...one more thing...cut the line about not having a lot of free time...major turn off for women your age.
Good luck. | |
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| Profile review request + maybe pic advice
Posted: 5/13/2008 6:40:37 AM | "Ethnicity is of no consequence to me, not so much however as --personality--. " LOL WUT? Besides sounding like a tosser, it does not really make logical sense. You can do away with the first half of that sentence and find a better way of saying the rest.
For someone that is supposedly so talented with women, had so much material written at them in a review thread and is studying literature and law or something like that, your profile as a whole is poor. I will just highlight some of the negatives:
"Basically,", "If you've continued to read this far," "I also find myself strangely attracted to the supernatural and superhuman", "I guess it could be said that I'm an outgoing introvert. (no that doesn't make sense but it's me)", "unique personality that I've strived to obtain", "I'm just not a crazy beer drinking frat boy that most people seem to stereotype me as at first glance. ", "Anyway, I know this is technically a dating site but I'm really just looking for a good -friend-"- heck, that whole paragraph... "
Oh look, just accept the whole thing sucks. You are just wasting peoples time at the moment. | |
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| Profile review request + maybe pic advice
Posted: 5/13/2008 7:39:13 AM | Thanks for highlighting the negative parts of what I've written. I actually had to read my entire profile out loud to myself to get at what you were trying to point out.
Note I never said I was talented with women, I merely commented on the fact that this website really does not give me enough power to display my personality the way that it is in person, on the phone, or the sometimes silly and even stern faces I make and eye contact I give when I talk. I certainly do not sound like this in person when I walk up to an interesting girl in the bookstore and ask her if she's read 1984 just to talk to her. I don't have to basically study a paper a girl has written about herself and then decide the best way to get her attention away from the 500 other emails she has in her inbox; because off of the internet, I see, I like, I talk.
I'll have to disagree with you on the part where my "profile sucks as a whole". I just wrote the damn thing yesterday, and I expect to build upon it for probably the next week, or as long as I receive critical advice/ feel like reading up on the tips this site provides amongst others.
Besides, the purpose of redoing my profile was to enhance my chances of attracting the type of girl I'm looking for. The first reviews hurt my feelings similar to receiving a D on a test I studied 2 weeks for, but afterwards I felt much better about it. Despite yourself, you did give some good highlights and I promptly deleted them -- I can completely see someone reading my profile and getting frustrated with what I wrote. In my Lit classes we write 1st, 2nd even 3rd and 4th drafts all the time, do peer reviews and editing, and even class discussions on specific papers. Is this not the same process exactly?
The fact of the matter is, I have some preferences that need to be met..
I'm not on here just to take what ever I can get. :D | |
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